PODCAST: fatherhood

On this episode of The 12Kyle Podcast, I will discuss FATHERHOOD. I give my thoughts on the highs and lows of fatherhood. Every man has a perspective on what it is like to be a father. I will also tell you 3 things that every man must give his child. I take you along on my journey as a father. Ride with me.

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you are the FATHER...NOT the baby daddy

I think I must've went insane
Thinking I was in love, but really in chains
Trapped to this girl through the two-year old who carried my name
I tried to stop tripping
But yo, I couldn't and the plot thickened
That shit affected me, largely
Because I know a lot of people want me
To fail as a father
And the thought of that haunts me
Especially when I check my rear-view mirror
And don't see him in his car seat
So the next time it's late at night
and I'm laid up with the woman I'mma make my wife
talking 'bout how we 'gon make a life
I'm thinking about child support, alimony, visitation rights
Cause that's the only outcome if you can't make it right
Pissed off with your children feeling the same pain
So, Pop, how could I blame cause you couldn't maintain
I did the same thing
The same thing...(Phonte from Little Brother "All for You")

Me and my homeboys have a LOT in common. Far beyond our tastes in women, music, and sports we share a lot of similarities.

I've noticed one thing that me and all my closest male friends have in common...we ALL have fathers who have played a significant role in our lives. Not some of my friends. ALL. That says alot about those men. Their influence have made us the men that we are today.

By society's standards, we are all successful, progressive, young black men. If you ask any of them, they will tell you that their father was the definition of a man. This is not to say that our mothers weren't there...because they were. I'm a firm believer that a woman can raise a young man and show him how to become a productive citizen. But only a man can teach a boy how to become a man. I feel fortunate and blessed that I have a father who showed me the way and I feel fortunate that my homies have too. Every one is not as fortunate. I don't take that for granted. I think that if a young boy doesn't have a father in his life then he needs a father figure in his life. That could be an uncle, older brother, teacher, mentor, or coach. It's very critical in a young boy's life to have that interaction with a male with whom he loves and respects. As the father of 3 sons, I feel that I have to be the man that they learn from. Being a father is the most rewarding and important job that I'll ever have. It's a job that I enjoy but I take very seriously. I can't make them into a miniature 12kyle. But I can show them how to become a man and how to make it in this world.

As men, we have to get beyond the point of leaving our sons to fend for themselves in this cold world. Is your child supposed to suffer because you are no longer with his mother? Is it smart to neglect your son because you are no longer sleeping with his mother? As men, we have to do better. Our sons need us. More importantly, our sons watch our moves. If we don't show them them the right way...they will be destined to follow in our footsteps.

ithinktheylikeme

He's cool. Very cool.

He's coming into his own.

For the first time in his life, he has TWO females fighting over him.

They aren't physically fighting over him but they are fighting for his "like" and "attention".


Here's the scenario...He's in class one day and he's chilling. Female #1 passes him a note. She asks him to be her boyfriend. He gladly accepts. He doesn't know what being a boyfriend means but he's cool with it b/c he likes her

A week later, he gets a note from Female #2. She tells him that he "should quit Female #1 so that SHE can be his girlfriend". He likes Female #2 more than he does #1 but he doesn't wanna hurt her feelings. As it turns out, both females were cheerleaders for his rival team. Female #2 stepped her game up by telling him that she "likes the way he dances and she likes his smile." He's flattered.

Before he can make a move, his note was snatched by his teacher.

And the teacher gave ME the note when I picked HIM (my 8yr old son, Kameron) up from school. I asked him to give me his version of the story and I almost crashed the car on our way home. I was laughing inside and trying my best not to laugh at him. It was one of the moments that I was supposed to be coaching/teaching him but I was laughing at the innocence of the moment. I liked girls when I was his age but it wasn't like this. He does it effortlessly. I asked him who did he like and he said he liked Female #2.

Him : She wants to go with me

Me : Go where?

Him : Go out

Me : Go out where?

Him : I dunno *blank stare*

This conversation (or the lackthereof) reminded me that he ain't my lil man no mo. He's growing up.

And these lil girls are growing up fast, too. Maybe too fast!

from me 2 u

10 years have gone by soooo fast.

I really don't know where the time has gone. I still remember the day like it was yesterday.

August 9, 1999

On that day, YOU made me a father for the first time. The first grandchild born to both sides of our families. I had planned to name you Kyle. It wasn't until you were delivered that I looked at you and said..."Deion." And the name fit. That was my middle name. And I gave it to you and gave you the middle name...Kyle. There was no greater feeling in the world. Still isnt.

I can't tell you how proud I am of you. You've sprouted right before my eyes. These years have passed so quickly. Eight years from now, you'll be moving out for good and headed to college. And that's scary. I love your personality. You are a social butterfly. Everybody loves Deion. You are the life of the party. Everybody wants to be your friend. Be who you are. Don't ever change.

Just like your brother, the doctors said that you'd be here on August 18, 2002. They were wrong.

August 8, 2002

You were the biggest baby that I had seen in my life. A young king who we named Kameron. Most kids who are in the middle suffer from a lack of attention. Not you. You are a special dude. One of the things that stand out about you is your sense of humor. It is something that you have gotten from me. You're witty. You keep me laughing. Remember when you faked my voice when grandma called and she thought she was talking to me? You did that. I remember giving you toys to play with when you were a little boy. I would hand them to you and you'd always use your left hand. Who knew that would lead to you being ambidextrous? That means that you can use both your right and left hands equally as well. You write with your right hand but you throw with your left hand. I'm proud of you and your brothers.

It is my dream that you guys become the young men that me and mommy are raising you to be.

I love you Daddy