Monday, November 29, 2010

off tha dome

random thoughts...

why is a 40 inch flat screen tv worth $200 on Black Friday but that same tv is worth $700 on Christmas Eve?

President Obama had to get 12 stitches from an elbow he caught while playing basketball. who elbows the Prez? he should have a triple double every time he gets on the court.

Vince y=Young...grow up, bruh. the opportunity to play in the NFL is a privilege. you should treat it as such

it was 78 degrees in Atlanta on thanksgiving day. wow. guess that's what they mean when they say we're gonna have a "mild winter"

sometimes i look at my timeline on twitter and i wonder if some of my followers ever "log off"?

i went to the "oldplaya's club" on friday night. bunch of cougars and old dudes. pure comedy. at the age of 37, i may have been the youngest dude in there

i watch NBC nightly news every night. i like Brian Williams. he always rocks a nice tie.

sometimes i look at my timeline on twitter and i wonder if some of my followers even work

when your birthday is 2 weeks before Christmas, people try to short you on gifts. guess it could be worse. i could have been a Christmas baby like Russ.

Lebron goes to Cleveland on Thursday night. should be interesting...

N. Korea vs S. Korea...scary

saw a truck with spinnin' rims the other day. do they still make those?

oatmeal raisin cookies

who is better singer...Beyonce or Janet Jackson???

i like the new Kanye cd. dope muzik. however, it won't make my ALBUM OF THE YEAR (blog soon to come)

as i was walking through the "old playa's club" the other night, i think one of those cougars grabbed me on my ass.

Lil Kim vs Nicki Minaj...spare me...they both are wack

i like Thanksgiving alot more than i do Christmas

i still don't watch BET

i'll always love my first

to my single ladies...i have a friend for you. he's single, no kids, and he has his own empire. the only knock is that he lives with his father. you want me to introduce you to him???? his name is Lamont Sanford

communication...always has...and will be...a two way street

20 year high school class reunion is next year. guess who's gonna be fresh to def when he gets there...MEEEEE!

12 Radio is on every Wednesday night @ 9pm EST. *plug*

ladies...when do you tell a man you're in love with him?

fellas...if you gotta choose between your momma and your woman...who ya choosing?

Hey, me...777-9311

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

12 Radio

TOPIC...Sports Wrap UP...

covering the NFL, NBA, College Football...

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Monday, November 22, 2010




You better watch what you say and what you do
Cause you never really know who got they eyes on you
They be plotting, scheming, eyeing, scoping
Waiting for the day they get you out in the open
You better watch what you say and what you do
Cause sometimes it's hard to tell what's fake and what's true
They plotting, harassing, scheming when they spot you
One wrong move homeboy and then they got you

Little Brother (What They Do)

It started with an email.

The email read... "Hello Kyle. I've been reading your blog for a few months now but I've never commented. Just wanted to let you know that I enjoy your work and the vibe on your blog. Candi "

I responded...just as a do to almost everybody..."Thanks for reading. Thanks for coming thru. It's ok to comment...we don't bite."

I was glad that she reached out to me. I didn't think much about it until she commented on my blog 3 days later. I greeted her as I do everybody when they first make a comment on my page. "Welcome to the 12th Planet. Make sure that you come back. We have a good time over here. We're here every day..." (you know the rest...LOL). Later that day, she sent me another email to thank me for responding to her comment. In the email, she also let me know that she also lived in Atlanta. I thought that was cool b/c I like to know where all the local bloggers are so that we can co-ordinate the upcoming ATL blogger event. Nevertheless, I would get emails from Candi for next month. I'd usually get a few a week. Nothing big. Just chit chat. I found her to be very cool. She was a hip hop head and a sports fan like me. That's mostly what we'd talk about. I made nothing of it. I viewed her as a friend.

One day I received a friend request on Facebook from Candi. I accepted without hesitation. The next day, I received an email letting me know that she was following me on twitter. No problem for me. It was innocent in my eyes. A few days later, I received an email from Candi that said..."Hey, I know that you're in marketing. I need some help with a business plan that I have developed for my company. Can we meet for lunch. My treat. And yes...I'll pay you for your services. Here's my number (404) xxx-xxxx. Send me yours and we can meet at Nan in midtown for lunch."

I accepted without hesitation. Who wouldn't want some additional cash? I'm all about that paper. LOL. Anyway, we agreed to meet at Nan on a Friday afternoon. As soon as I walked in the restaurant, she was there to greet me with a hug. Candi was cuter than her profile picture. As we waited for our table, she told me how nice my suit looked. After we grabbed a table, I reviewed her plan and made some suggestions. We talked about the Falcons and the Hawks. Then, she asked if we could hang out again. "Yeah. You bring a date and I'll bring Mrs12 and we can kick it." She laughed and said that she wanted to hang with just me. That was the sign to me that something might be wrong but I brushed it off. We left the restaurant and agreed that we'd keep in touch. I told my boy Clark about her b/c I had planned to introduce him to her since they are both single. Well, I got an email from her at 3:12 am that said that she enjoyed lunch and she wanted to see me again.

I read the email on my blackberry the next morning. I ignored it. Then later on that day, I got a phone call from her while I was at Kameron's football practice.

"Hey. Did you get my email?"

"Yeah. I did. Candi, you know that I am married. You've read my blog. I'm all about my wife and my sons. I think you're cool. I dunno what's going on in your head...but I don't get down like that. You feel me?

"Yeah. I understand." Click. She hung up.

Three days later, I get an email from Candi that caught my eye. Well...the subject line said it all...YOU AINT SHIT!!!!!! I read the email where she accused me of leading her on. She called me a dog. She said that I was a womanizer. She said that she was gonna get on my blog and tell the world what kinda person I was. I read it and laughed my head off!!!! Everybody who knows me know that I'm drama free. I deleted the email. The next day I see her BMW in the parking lot next to my office. How did she know where I worked? Then, she kept calling my cell phone and hanging up. I'm thinking..."what the hell is wrong with her?"

I called her the next day. She didn't answer so I left her a voicemail. "Candi, I dunno what kind of games you're playing but I don't play games. You need to fall back. Or else!"

No response from her. In fact, I didn't hear anything for a week. Then, I get an email from her at 8:30 pm. I was leaving practice with Kameron. The email read...

"How would you like it if I told your wife about us? have nice house. I like the black shutters on the white house. Maybe I should go and ring the doorbell? I know that your wife is home b/c I saw her with your sons in the yard earlier today."

How the fuck did I get here??????

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

12 Radio

Tune in to tonight's show...

12 Radio

Topic...Off tha Dome (Random Topics)

Co-hosted by The F$%k It List

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(347) 215-7162

Tune in.

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Monday, November 15, 2010

off tha dome

random thoughts...

man, it's been a MINUTE since I've done one of these. i blame twitter for robbing me of my randomness

lil wayne is outta jail. t.i. is back in jail. so is the "great" gucci mane. who cares? wake me up when somebody makes an album worth buying

mid term elections were interesting. now let's see if ANYBODY will deliver on their campaign promises. wait...they made none. too busy mudslinging

Prez O said his adminstration hasn't done a good job of telling people what they've done. hey Prez...take a page outta Dubya's something & spend months talkin about what u did to the point where nuffin else gets done.

speaking of Dubya...he said Kanye's talk about him being a racist was "his lowest moment while in office." word? so i guess Hurricane Katrina, 9/11, & finding no weapons of mass destruction didn't mean a damn thing to you?

breaking news...the Dallas Cowboys suck! in other news...water is wet

memo to Lebron...chemistry takes time

i see that gas prices are going up! c'mon Prez O! don't start that crap!

huge fan of Denzel's but i'ma pass on this new movie. looks just like Pelham 1-2-3

have you noticed how halloween has become a reason for grown folks to be as nasty as they wanna be? all you ever see is naughty/slutty nurse outfits

neva been on a cruise. and after hearing about the cruise that was stranded without power, it's likely that I won't ever get on one.

hi Chuck

the new cd by The Foreign Exchange is smokin! can't wait until they come back to ATL to do a show. i saw em earlier this year. phenomenal!

Kanye...shut up and grow up. you're a grown man...act like it

i love black women

memo to the ladies...if he's into your body and not your mind...leave him alone b/c when the chick with a better body comes along, you're done

memo to the a man and LEAD. stop following the crowd and be your own man

c'mon Jay need to go ahead and swell her up! stop playin', son!

two peas in a pod!

i still appreciate the fine delicacy of a peanut butter and jelly sammich

ok...i took some heat for not seeing The Godfather and The Color Purple. i'll see em as soon a football season is over

bring real hip hop back

have you ever noticed that for some people...they won't speak to you unless you speak to them first?

Brett Favre...kick rocks!

my birthday is next month (December 9th...shameless plug) and i want cash...and a tie. i'll be expecting it from you.

the last half hour at work is always the longest

12 Radio every Wednesday night at 9pm EST. Tune in

Fred told Esther that he could put her face in some dough and make some "gorilla cookies"

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

12 Radio (Marriage)

Top 10 Listening Tips for Married Couples

1. Don't Interrupt

Let your spouse finish what they are saying. If this is a problem and you interrupt a lot, find someway to remind yourself to keep quiet. Some people put their chin in their hand as a sign to themselves to not speak til their mate is finished talking.

2. Keep an Open Mind

Don't judge. Jumping to conclusions or looking for the right or wrong in what is being said prevents you from listening. Think before you say anything in response, especially if it is an emotional reaction.

3. Make Listening a Priority

Listen without planning on what you are going to say in response. Let go of your own agenda. Be aware that you need to listen. Make eye contact. Pay attention by not looking at the TV or glancing at the newspaper or finishing up a chore.

4. Use Feedback Technique

Let your partner know that you heard what they said by using a feedback technique and restating what was said. Say something like "I hear you saying ...." Be open to the possibility that you didn't hear clearly what your spouse was saying.

5. Watch Non-Verbal

Be aware of non-verbal signs and clues - both yours and those of your mate. These include shrugging your shoulders, tone of voice, crossing arms or legs, nodding, eye contact or looking away, facial expressions (smile, frown, shock, disgust, tears, surprise, rolling eyes, etc.), and mannerisms (fiddling with papers, tapping your fingers). 55% of the message is delievered through non-verbal signs.

6. Blocks to Listening

Try not to fall into these patterns of listening: mind reading, rehearsing, filtering, judging, daydreaming, advising, sparring, being right, changing the subject, stonewalling, and placating.

7. Stay Focused

Focus on the main points that your spouse is talking about. It's ok to ask questions to clarify what you thought you heard.

8. Gender Differences

Although not true for everyone, men and women generally communicate differently. Being aware can enhance your listening skills. Men often share because they want to give information or solve a problem. Women tend to talk to connect with someone or to get information. Women usually talk more about relationships than men. Men are often more concerned about details than women.

9. Show Respect

Respect your spouse's point of view, even if you disagree with what is being said.

10. Advice & Talking

Don't give advice unless asked for it. You can't listen and talk at the same time. Feelings are neither right or wrong.

Tune in tonight to 12 Radio

9pm EST / 6pm Pacific

Topic...Let's Get Married & Make it Work

Co-hosted by Bridgette Wright

(347) 215-7162

show link...

Friday, November 5, 2010

Tha W

June 7, 1991

I remember it like it was yesterday.

One of the things that stood out...tears.

Not from me.

No way

I expected this to happen. To me, graduating from high school wasn't that big of a deal. It was an accomplishment but I really didn't put a lot of stock in it. I always had my eyes on graduating from college. That's where the tears...if I had any...would come. But as I sat in my seat on this day, I would be all smiles. I noticed that more than a few of my classmates were crying.

Why? Maybe it was because they knew this would be the last time together? Maybe? I'm not sure. Maybe they didn't want to leave our high school? Our school, Wilson High School, was a special place. It was and still is a very unique place. When I was there, it was about 90% black, 10% white...yet there was racial harmony. At Wilson, there were no racial issues. If you had a friend, they were your friend...not your black friend or white friend. I grew up there. I found who I was during those 4 yrs. It was there where I made some friendships that will last a lifetime.

I had the opportunity to visit a few weeks ago as our high school celebrated its homecoming. Wilson's Homecoming is about as big as a small college homecoming...yet it's a HIGH SCHOOL. The school has been around since 1869. It was the only place where black kids in my hometown, Florence, South Carolina, could get an opportunity a shot at an education. My grandmother never finished high school but my mom went to Wilson. So did all of my aunts and uncles and cousins. The school has a great tradition. Proud and distinguished alumni. And I'm one of them.

As I reflect on that graduation day, I'm reminded of the Class of 1991. We'll celebrate our 20 yr reunion next year. It felt good to see so many familiar faces this year. I can't wait until next year. I have many many memories from high school. I could go on and on about it but I won't. One memory that stood out was graduation day. There was about 250 of us in the graduating class. I tried my best to say something to each person that day. They say that it's the last time that a class is together. And that's true. Within a month, we'd lose a class mate to a car accident. Then another one later that year. I still remember wondering why some were crying at graduation. Maybe they weren't ready to leave? Maybe they weren't ready to leave home? Or maybe they loved that place and the people so much that they didn't know how they'd move on. But they did. And so did I. But we know that we can always come home.

Do you have any memorable moments from high school?

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Love Jones on 12 Radio

"Y'all know that feeling of love that just make you feel so warm inside?
I swear there ain't nothing' like it y'all...ain't in beautiful?" Phonte of The Foreign Exchange

Have you ever had that feeling of love before?

You know. Love somebody to the point where it HURT!

The love...the kinda love that you couldn't imagine yourself without.

Or maybe it's the love that you found...

then lost...

then found again.

What about the love that feeds your soul?

Have you ever had it?

If you have had you still have it? If you've lost it, what are you gonna do to get it back?

Tune in tonight to 12 Radio at 9pm EST.

Topic...Love Jones Edition Part 2

Co-hosted by Sweet Stiletto

(347) 215-7162

show link...

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

why does she cheat?

I'm no relationship expert.

I've said that 1000 times on this blog.

But I know people. And people are creatures of habit.

Thanks to the good folks at Men's Health, I found this article about the woman that cheats. Enjoy!

There are many reasons for infidelity, such as revenge, boredom, the thrill of sexual novelty, sexual addiction. But experts say that a large majority of the time, motivations differ by gender, with men searching for more sex or attention, and women looking to fill an emotional void.

"Women tell me, 'I was lonely, not connected, I don't feel close to my partner, and I was taken for granted,'" says Winifred Reilly, MA, MFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Berkeley, Calif. "They say they wanted to have someone who would look into their eyes and make them feel sexy again."

Emotional Reasons

Every affair is different, and so are every woman's reasons for her involvement.

That said, men are more likely to cite sexual motivations for infidelity and are less likely to fall in love with an extramarital partner, says Helen Fisher, PhD, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University and the author of Why Him? Why Her? and Why We Love.

"Women tend to be more unhappy with the relationship they are in ... while men can be a lot happier in their primary relationship and also cheat," Fisher tells WebMD. "Women are more interested in supplementing their marriage or jumping ship than men are - for men, it is a secondary strategy as opposed to an alternate.".

In one of her studies, Fisher found that 34% of women who had affairs were happy or very happy in their marriage. A greater percentage of men who had affairs, 56%, were happy in their marriage.

In the Genes?

The theory that adultery is "natural" for men, fulfilling their Darwinian need to spread their seed, has been around a long time. But the connection women look for when having affairs may have evolutionary roots as well.

That theory, Fisher says, is that from the earliest days, women paired with a primary mate to have children. But as women went out to gather food, they slept with other men, creating an insurance policy -- to have someone who would help rear children and provide resources, should their mate die.

"I don't think women are doing it because they want to have more sex, but I don't think they mind if they get it," Reilly says. "It is not really about sex per se as much as the experience of being with somebody."

Jumping Ship

Diane, who asked that her full name not be used, left her marriage emotionally long before she had an affair. The Tulsa, Okla. woman says she was living with a lot of disillusionment in a disappointing, sexless marriage.

"You feel the loss of your dreams and hopes and how you thought things would turn out," Diane says. "I was very lonely; I could never understand the concept of being lonely in a marriage until it happened."

She began to flirt with other men to get attention, but she never considered having an affair. That is, not until a business trip landed her with a friend in beautiful setting drinking wine. She began a long-term affair, a path she admits she was likely on anyway as her marriage dissolved.

Using another partner to transition out of a bad marriage is one of the common reasons women have affairs.

"They are on a sinking ship and use it as a life raft because they don't want to just jump into the cold water," Reilly says.

She also sees some women have affairs during periods of vulnerability or life change, like when a child goes off to college or after a job loss. They may see it as a form of comfort during upheaval.

Another common reason is a cry for help in the marriage. One of Reilly’s patients had an affair, ended it, and then told her husband as a way to point out they were in more trouble than he thought.

Accidental or On Purpose

Women are also less likely than men to have an affair that "just happens," because they tend to think longer and harder about the situation, experts say.

Some women take time " to warm up to it," says Marcella Weiner, EdD, PhD, an adjunct professor at Marymount Manhattan College in Brooklyn, N.Y. "Going in and leaving quickly isn't their thing. Men can walk away more easily, because their emotions are just different and it is unusual for a woman who wants to have sex and forget about it."

It may be an old notion that women are the ones who get attached in a relationship, Reilly says. But she sees that women do connect with their partners in affairs and think more about taking part in one.

"Women really can recognize the risk for them," Reilly says, pointing to the possibility of losing their partner because of an affair.

When it comes to affairs, society tends to more harshly judge women than men, Reilly says.

"Women don't easily have an affair," she says.

Your thoughts ladies? Men?


Monday, November 1, 2010


And just like that...the season is over.

It came and went in a flash.

As many of you know, I coach my son Kameron's 8 and under football team. Our season ended this past Saturday. We finished our season with a record of 4-4. It wasn't the season that we expected. Three of the losses were by less than a touchdown...including a game that we lost by 1 point. The other loss was to our rival, Rock Chapel. We lost 21-7 but the referees "mysteriously" called 3 of our touchdowns back (you do the math!).

Nevertheless, I really enjoyed this season. I enjoyed working with these kids every day. For a long time, I didn't know if I'd ever want to coach football. I played the game from the age of 8 through college. I picked up a football for the first time at 8. I fell in love with the game. It was all about competing for me...even at 8. I wanted to be the best on the field. I wanted to prove that nobody could line up against me and be better than me. And that's what I did. You can't coach that. You're born with it. I didn't know if I could translate what I know to a bunch of kids. But I have...and it's been phenomenal. People always talk about giving back. Some give their money. Some give themselves. And that's what I've done. I never thought I'd enjoy it this much. I missed most of our "training camp" b/c I was working in Minneapolis. Late in July, Kameron said "Daddy, when are you coming back. I need you out there to coach me." Those words pierced my chest. I was back on the sidelines the week before our first game.

The season didn't go as planned but I loved it. Kameron played extremely well. He started the season at quarterback but moved to defensive tackle. He shined on defense. I was surprised to see him play as well as he did. He's got a lotta heart. He's already talking about next year. Next year is very promising for us. We'll have 22 of our 27 players returning next year. Think we won't win the city championship?? Think again!

I think it's always good to finish the season on a good note. For the last game of the season, we paid a visit again to our rival, Rock Chapel. The referees couldn't help them this time. And trust me...the score wasn't THIS close!