Overcoming Family Financial Habits

While doing some reading on finances, I came across this article. I think you might get something from it.


Whether you realize it or not, your parents likely had a major influence on your financial habits. Studies, including the recently published
"Habit Formation and Learning in Young Children," show that the ideas about money you pick up during childhood tend to stick with you for life, whether you grow up just like mom and dad or have made choices in reaction to them.

"Most of our beliefs and habits take shape well before the age of 12, and that includes money habits," says Keith Whitaker, Senior Family Dynamics Consultant with Abbot Downing. "Most people may not want to believe that, but they know in their heart that it's true."

If your parents didn't talk about money, for example, you also probably feel uncomfortable when the subject comes up. If your family was always trying to keep up with the Joneses, you may equate money with success, and you may feel like you can never have enough.

If you strongly disagreed with your parents' financial habits, you may have reacted by choosing to take the opposite approach. But that too can be harmful when taken to extremes. For example, some people who grew up poor, or whose parents were extreme penny-pinchers, hated feeling deprived, so they may spoil their own children by giving them too much.

• Potential harmful money habits you may have picked up from your parents include:
• Overspending to show love
• Extreme penny-pinching
• Believing that money is the cause of world problems
• Equating money with success and happiness
• Associating money with personal conflict
• Reluctance to talk about money

Whatever your money baggage, fortunately, you aren't stuck with it forever. "It is possible to change," Whitaker says, "but it takes a lot of work." He recommends these five steps:

1. Reflect on your behaviors and feelings about money. Think back to your childhood and your parents' attitudes about money. Were they constantly fighting over money? Did they overspend and go into debt? Or were they extremely frugal? Try to recognize both the positive and negative lessons you learned from your parents, and how they affected your beliefs and feelings about money. "The first step in changing bad financial habits is becoming aware of your deep-seated beliefs about money and where they come from," Whitaker says.
2. Focus forward and don't blame. While it's important to recognize your parents' influence, it's equally important not to assign blame, Whitaker says. "Blaming others won't help you move forward," he says. "Try to empathize with your parents and accept that they probably did the best they could do and, like all of us, they had their limitations. Show yourself grace, too."
3. Clarify your goals. After you identify any bad financial habits that come from your upbringing, make a conscious decision to change. "Ask yourself, 'What are some other ways I can act?'" Whitaker says. If you tend to spoil your spouse and your children with monetary gifts, commit to spending time and having experiences with them instead. "Maybe you suddenly realize that you've been spending all this money on your child, but he's acting like a spoiled brat," Whitaker says. "It may be time to stop giving materially and start giving emotionally."
4. Break big changes into small steps.  Rather than trying to change all at once, commit to taking a series of small steps in the right direction, Whitaker advises. If you're reluctant to create a budget with your spouse because your parents fought about money, start with one small piece of a budget. "Maybe you can do a better job of tracking your spending on just one type of expense, or saving for something specific," Whitaker says. "Instead of taking it all on at once, take on a manageable piece." If sharing specific numbers — such as the size of your estate — makes you queasy, you can start by talking about your estate in a more general way, without the dollar signs.
5. Get help. Connect with people who can help you talk through your money issues and help hold you accountable. Friends, professional colleagues, counselors, or members of shared interest groups can help reinforce your desired behaviors and give constructive, positive feedback. And, of course, your relationship manager is probably your best resource on making good financial decisions. "As hard as it is, you can do something about your beliefs and your behaviors," Whitaker says. "I've seen it happen."

hip hop vol 4

We're BACK!!!

The 12 Radio Show is back on the air! On this episode, we'll talk about various hip hop topics. Join us for an informative and introspective look at hip hop.

Join host 12kyle and special guest, Q the 6th Man. If you're a fan of Hip Hop, you DON'T want to miss this show!

Tonight's show will air from 9pm-11pm est. 

You can call in (347)215-7162 or 

listen online 

www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle

Beautillion Scholar

My name is Deion Dowling, son of Kyle and Sherice Dowling. I have been selected to participate in the 2015-16 Cotillion~Beautillion, sponsored by the Gwinnett County Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. and the Fortitude Foundation, Inc.
I am a junior attending Arabia Mountain High School in Lithonia, Georgia. I am a member of the Marching Rams Band, Debate Team and Future Farmers of America (FFA).

As a Cotillion~Beautillion participant, I have the opportunity to receive a scholarship for college based on the amount of funds that I raise. This program will assist in my personal growth through cultural activities, social etiquette, leadership and career development. The program culminates with a ball, March 5, 2016. I consider it an honor that I will be involved in such a worthwhile learning experience.

The donation deadline is March 1, 2016

Please visit the link below. Please share with your friends and family. Thank you for your support!


http://www.gofundme.com/un24uvrc

17 yrs old (12 Radio Show preview)

Remember when you were 17 years old?

I think we saw the world and ourselves differently at the age of 17.

We were no longer kids but we had yet to step into adulthood.

On this week's show, we'll take a look back at the 17 year old you. We'll ask questions to you and the audience about being 17 years old.

co-hosted by the ladies from the Soul Survivors Crew...LMarie, Ieisha, and Samantha.

9pm-11pm EST

(347)215-7162

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle/2015/08/20/17-yrs-old

PODCAST: In the News

PODCAST: IN THE NEWS

co-hosted by Vince & DLuvhall

Listen as we weigh in on different topics

LISTEN BELOW...

In the News...12 Radio Show preview

3 microphones

3 great minds

3 sets of strong minded opinions

Tune in to the 12 Radio Show as we discuss a wide range of topics. Don't miss it!!

Co-hosted by Vince and DLuvhall

(347)215-7162

www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle

PODCAST: classic hip hop battles

"Back before the days of “beef”, Hip Hop was about battling, the battle for supremacy. All the emcee wanted to do was rock the party and be considered the best, and be better than whomever else was there

We would rhyme on the steps, in school, on the basketball court, or wherever we could. It was a competition to see who would get the most oohs and ahhs and who used words in a new or different way. Vocabulary was important, using current references was important, and most of the times in the 80s...no one wrote anything!!! It was all off the top of the dome...

This was back in the day where a rhymer would hear something, get some money together cop some studio time and cut a response that week, and a song would come out in rapid fashion

No one was safe! If you thought you were nice, you were going to get challenged! I miss those days … the competition aspect of hip hop allowed the fans to really benefit from it because artists worked at their skills and word play and gave us dope material

You didn’t want to come wack
You didn’t want to be defeated
You didn’t want to look like an easy target
You wanted to be dope

…and this was when biting was not allowed. " - eclectik


On this episode, we will discuss some of hip hop's greatest battles, great diss records, their relevance in hip hop history, and some hip hop battles that NEVER happened.

Joining us on the show will be the hip hop historian and frequent show contributor, eclectik. Listen as we drop science on some of the best hip hop battles.

LISTEN BELOW...

Freaknik ' 94

"Hey Mom. I'm going to Atlanta this weekend."

"Ok. What's going on in Atlanta?"

"I'm going to Freaknik."

"Huh? What the hell is a Freaknik?"

a conversation between me and my mom (April 1994)


Truth be told...I didn't know the answer. It was something that I had heard about. I was a college sophomore at South Carolina State University...a 3.5 hr drive from Atlanta. The buzz on campus was that Freaknik was the spot where black kids from other black colleges came to hang out. It was supposed to be this one big party in Atlanta. The Black College version of Woodstock...is how it was described to me. I wasn't sure what it was but I was determined to see for myself. It had been a long semester and we had just finished Spring Practice for football. Our final exams were just a few weeks away and I needed to blow off some steam.

This would not be my first trip to Hot-Lanta. I visited a few times as a kid. My family drove down to Atlanta from my hometown, Florence, SC to see a football game between the Atlanta Falcons and the New York Giants. At the time my uncle, Harry Carson, was playing for the Giants so we got a chance to see him play relatively close to home. I found Atlanta to be a nice city but it was scary for kids. One year we came to see a preseason game in the early 80s. This was at the height of the Wayne Williams drama. We couldn't go outside without an adult. I remember how cautious my parents were and they didn't want to let us out of their sights. Looking back on it now...I understand. Nonetheless, I had never experienced Atlanta as a young adult. At the time the city was bubbling. There was a burgeoning hip hop scene there. And the city would host the Olympics in 2 years. Sounds like a perfect place to party, right?


One of the first things that I noticed that there were a lot of black people in powerful positions. The city was virtually run by black people. That impressed me. Anybody who knows me knows that I'm about my people. When I saw that, I was hooked. Atlanta always struck me as a place that was fast...especially for the south...but not as fast as New York City.

I remember parking the car near Fulton County Stadium (now Turner Field where the Braves play) and me and the crew began to walk. We walked down Piedmont Rd as we were headed to Piedmont Park for a free concert. I had no idea just how far that was. Me and my boys walked...and walked...and walked. The cool thing about this trek...we weren't the only ones. With so many streets being blocked off, you had to walk. I remember making a detour down Auburn Avenue and all I saw was a sea of black people! The city officials said that Freaknik drew 250,000 students that year. Well...they were wrong. There was EASILY 500,000 people in the ATL that weekend. There had to be 100,000 people on Auburn Avenue that day. It's fitting that we were all on Auburn Ave considering it's history! So many people...and it was ALL love. It didn't matter where you were from. If you were young and black, you felt like you were at home. There was a performance on a stage in on the street. Some young dudes from Atlanta who went by the name of OutKast. They didn't even have an album out but they were killin the crowd! We saw celebrities and athletes who seemed to be just enjoying the atmosphere. I remember being on one side of the street and watching a young Snoop Doggy Dogg roll up some weed with an Atlanta cop standing 10 feet away from him! And the cop didn't say a word.

"Want a cheap trick? Betta go down to Freaknik!!" - Lil Kim (Crush on You)

One thing that I learned very quickly was that freaked me was just one big ass party! No matter where you were, A party could break out at any moment. For example, we were stuck in traffic in the SWATs on Campbellton Road. Traffic was at a standstill. Out of nowhere, somebody turned on some music at a liquor store in the parking lot. And from that moment on a party started! Everybody got out of their cars and just started dancing. People were exchanging phone numbers and getting to know each other. We stayed in that one spot for at least 30 minutes! And nobody seemed to care at all! LOL! It wasn't just the residents from Atlanta. It seemed like there was somebody from nearly every state.

One of the biggest appeals to a young man like myself was...well...the women. When I hit Freaknik that spring, I was single. I had not met my future wife yet and I was fresh out of one of my many, ill fated 3 month relationships. For me, coming to Freaknik was like therapy. I don't think I've ever been around that many beautiful black women. I must have fallen in love (at first sight) 20 times that weekend. LOL. The women were really cool and everybody was just looking to have a good time. Freaknik, for at least this year, didn't consist primarily of women doing crazy and sleezy stuff on the street. It was a cool vibe. Young black college kids from all across the country were on one big cool vibe. Everybody's experience with Freaknik was different. I enjoyed the whole weekend. Were there people trying to hook up with each other? Of course. But I just enjoyed the vibe. It was at Freaknik that I heard one of the dumbest and corniest pick up lines that I've ever heard...

We were all waiting in line to get some doughnuts from Krispy Kreme. There were 3 fine women in front of me. A dude approached the 3 women. He turned to one of them and said...

"I see that you're wearing a DKNY (which stands for Donna Karan New York) shirt. Do you know those letters represent four of my favorite colleges?" She looked puzzled. At this moment, he probably should have walked away but he was determined to impress her.

"D...for Duke
K...for Kentucky
N...for Nebraska
Y...for Y-oming!"

Wait...did he just say Y-oming...and not Wyoming?? I laughed sooooooo hard until I couldn't breathe.

Freaknik was filled with moments like that. Good times. Great laughs. Great music. I would attend Freaknik for the next 3 years. But it wouldn't be the same. The vibe gave way to ratchet women and some locals who saw an opportunity to cause trouble. City officials deemed it a "traffic nightmare" and found ways to shut it down and discourage people from coming to the city for the event.

Looking back on the conversation that me and my mom had...I'm not sure if I STILL know what Freaknik was. It was a party. It was a vibe. It was a movement. It introduced me to a girl named Atlanta that I fell in love with. I still get that rush when I walk through Piedmont Park today...just as I did that weekend.

20 words you should never put on your résumé

I came across this article on Business Insider. I think it's some good information that I think you might find useful...

While many large companies use automated résumé screener software to cut down the initial pool of job applicants, loading your résumé with meaningless buzzwords is not the smartest way to get noticed.

"Nearly everyone is guilty of using buzzwords from time to time, but professionals are evaluated increasingly on their ability to communicate," says Paul McDonald, senior executive director for professional placement firm Robert Half.

One of the major problems with using buzzwords and terms, according to Mary Lorenz, a corporate communications manager at CareerBuilder, is they have become so overused that they've lost all meaning. Another issue, she explains, is that many of these words don't differentiate the job seeker from other candidates because they're so generic.

Instead, Lorenz says job seekers should speak in terms of accomplishments and show rather than tell.

"Avoiding overused terms can help job seekers convey their message and stand out from the crowd," McDonald says. Here's what you should avoid:


20 words you should never put on your résumé


1. 'Best of breed'

When CareerBuilder surveyed more than 2,200 hiring managers last year, it found "best of breed" to be the most irritating term to be seen on a résumé.

"Anyone can say they are 'best of breed,' a 'go-getter,' a 'hard worker,' or a 'strategic thinker,'" Lorenz says. "Employers want to know what makes the job seekers unique, and how they will add value to the specific organization for which they're applying."

2. 'Phone'

Career coach Eli Amdur says there is no reason to put the word "phone" in front of the actual number."It's pretty silly. They know it's your phone number." The same rule applies to email.

3. 'Results-driven'

"Instead of simply saying that you're results-driven, write about what you did to actually drive results — and what those results were," Lorenz suggests.

4. 'Responsible for'

Superfluous words like "responsible for," "oversight of," and "duties included," unnecessarily complicate and hide your experience says Alyssa Gelbard, founder and president of Résumé Strategists.

"Be direct, concise, and use active verbs to describe your accomplishments," she suggests. Instead of writing, "Responsible for training interns ...," simply write, "Train interns ..."

5. 'Highly qualified'

McDonald saying using terms like "highly qualified" or "extensive experience" won't make you seem better-suited for the job — in fact, it could have the opposite effect. Instead, he suggests you focus on the skills, accomplishments, and credentials you bring to the role.

6. 'Seasoned'

"Not only does this word conjure up images of curly fries," says Rita Friedman, a Philadelphia-based career coach, "it is well-recognized as a code word for 'much, much older.'"

7. 'References available by request'

This outdated phrase will unnecessarily age you, Gelbard says. "If you progress through the interviewing process, you will be asked for personal and professional references."

8. 'NYSE'

Vicky Oliver, author of "Power Sales Words" and "301 Smart Answers to Tough Interview Questions," says you should spell out any acronyms first and put the initials in parentheses. For example, "NYSE" would read "New York Stock Exchange (NYSE)."

"For starters, acronyms are capitalized, and all caps are harder to read than upper and lower case," she explains. "It's also really difficult to wade through a piece of paper that resembles alphabet soup."

9. 'Team player'

"Who doesn't want to be a team player? If you’re not a team player, you’re probably not going to get the job," McDonald says.

But using this term isn't going to make you stand out from other candidates. "Instead, use an example of how you saved a company time, money, and resources on a team project or in collaboration with others."

10. 'Ambitious'

"Of course you would never say you're 'lazy' either, but calling yourself ambitious doesn't make any sense on a resume," Friedman says.

"It can imply that you're targeting this job now, but will quickly be looking to move up in the company because you won't be satisfied in the role, leaving the employer stuck with doing a new job search in the very near future."

11. 'Microsoft Word'

Yea, you and everyone else.

It's assumed that you have a basic proficiency in Microsoft Office, Gelbard says. Unless you have expert proficiency, there's no need to include it on your résumé.

12. 'Interfaced'

"Words like this make you sound like an automaton," Oliver says. "Most recruiters would rather meet with a human being. Keep your verbs simple and streamlined."

13. 'Hard worker'

It's true that a company is less likely to consider you if you haven't worked hard or don't come across as someone who will put in what it takes to get the job done, but that doesn't mean writing "hard worker" will convince hiring managers of your efforts.

"Give concrete examples of how you’ve gone the extra mile, rather than using a non-memorable cliché," McDonald suggests.

14. 'Honest'

Honesty is one of those things you have to show, not tell, Friedman says.

"It's not as if there are some other candidates out there vying for the job who are describing themselves as 'duplicitous' or 'dishonest.'"

15. 'Punctual'

Being punctual is great, but it's also pretty basic to holding down a job. Don't waste the space on your résumé.

16. '@'

Unless it's in your email address, avoid casual texting language like @.

"A resume is a formal document and is often the first impression a potential employer has of you," Gelbard stresses. "Business language should be used to reinforce that first impression and text-style or casual words should be avoided."

17. 'People person'

Cliches like "people person" are impossible to prove, Oliver says, and recruiters have heard these phrases so many times they're likely to feel their eyes glaze over as soon as they see them.

18. 'Hit the ground running'

"This one is a pet peeve of mine," McDonald says. "The expression is unnecessary and doesn't add value. A recruiter isn't going to be able to place you if you're not eager to start the job and you aren't committed."

19. 'I'

Avoid using personal pronouns like I, me, my, we, or our, Gelbard says.

"A person reviewing your resume knows that you're talking about your skills, experience, and expertise or something related to the company for which you worked, so you don't need to include pronouns."

20. 'Successfully'

"It's generally assumed that you were successful at whatever you are including on your resume," Gelbard says. "There is no need to say that you successfully managed a marketing campaign or successfully led annual budget planning."





http://www.businessinsider.com/words-to-never-put-on-your-resume-2015-7?op=1#ixzz3fjP0wztg

Hip Hop vol 3 (show preview)

We're BACK!!!

The 12 Radio Show is back on the air! 

On this episode, we'll talk about various hip hop topics. Join us for an informative and introspective look at hip hop.

Join host 12kyle and special guest, Q the 6th Man. If you're a fan of Hip Hop, you DON'T want to miss this show!

Tonight's show will air from 9pm-11pm est. You can call in (347)215-7162 or listen online www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle

off tha dome (12 Radio Show)

WHO : 12kyle & co-host, Coogie Cruz

WHAT : 12 Radio Show (off tha dome - random topics)

WHERE : www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle or (347)215-7162

WHEN : Tonight from 9pm-11pm est

WHY : Because we said so!!!

Join us as we cover random subjects that will make you think and make you laugh! You don't want to miss this show.

losing a good man

She tried really hard to make her relationship work

That can be difficult when you are emotionally hitched to a jerk

She was captivated by visions of love, marriage, and kids

But his actions made her feel like she could no longer live

Bound by confusion and grappled with fear

She made up her mind that she had shed her last tear.

The relationship that she longed for had finally come to an end

3 kids from 3 different baby daddies later...the third time wasn't a charm

It was a dud. And it was at that moment that she became alarmed.

She realized that she had lost that friend

You know that friend...the one who was always around to hear her cries

But for him, there was no real attraction in her eyes.

She knew that he liked her despite her mistakes

But when she made her final call to him...it was too late

Her anger in his "disappearance" was something she couldn't understand

Simply put...she had lost her best chance at landing a "good man".

Charleston...through our eyes

Charleston...

Nine beautiful lives taken away from us in a rage of hate and terror.

Tonight, we'll talk about it.

9pm-11pm est

(347)215-7162

www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle

a letter to my kids...

I have often said that one of the great things about having this blog is that people can read it and get to know how you feel about things. I think one of the reasons why I've kept the blog and haven't deleted it is that I want my kids to read it and gain a different perspective as how their father saw the world through his eyes. Honestly, they know this blog exists but I don't think they've read much of it. But that's cool. One day they will.

Tomorrow is Father's Day. It's a special day for me because it's a day that I celebrate because of THEM. My children. Instead of writing a post about something random or silly, I decided to write this open letter to them...

Deion (age 15)


My first born! You were the first to make me a father. I still remember the day that you came into this world. It seems like it was yesterday. I remember standing in the delivery room and looking at you with amazement. You had only been on this earth for a few minutes before you urinated on the doctor who was trying to weigh you. The doctor smiled at us and said "Well...we know that part works." You and I are alike in a lot of ways. I have told you since you were a baby to always be a leader...not a follower. You are a great leader and I truly feel that you were put on this earth to be a leader. Am I hard on you? Yes! But it's only because I want you to see the greatness that is within you. The sky is the limit for you. As you move forward in life, you'll realize the lessons that I'm teaching will take you far in life. You're father is pretty smart...but you already know that by now. I am proud of the young man that you have become. I love you!


Kameron (12)


You are...by far...the most talented child. And that's no knock on your siblings...because everybody has multiple talents. You just have more. Anybody that has ever been around you will tell you that. I've found over time that you can be extremely shy around unfamiliar faces and the life of the party around friends and family. I am like that, too. It's not always easy being someone's little brother and someone's big brother...but you've done it well. Your mother and I realized a long time ago that when Kameron wants to do something, he's going to do it on his terms. That's what makes you who you are. Keep being who you are and keep shining! I am proud of the young man that you have become. I love you!

Brandon (8)


You are the star of our family! There's no doubt about it. I've never seen a kid this young be so cool! I WISH that I was as cool as you were when I was your age. I was cool but not like you. I've never seen a child so competitive and driven to be the best and win at everything! It's a rare gift. You and I look alike and our birthdays are only separated by a day. And maybe that's the way it was supposed to be. I can't imagine how it feels being the baby boy...but you are no baby. You don't walk in your brothers shadows. You've created your own trail and I like that. Most kids are fearful when it comes to performing in front of an audience. You...you seem to relish in that spotlight. Sometimes I look at you and think to myself..."Is that really MY kid?" Of course you are! And I wouldn't have it any other way! I am proud of the young man that you have become. I love you!


Skyler (3)


Where do I start? I never envisioned having a daughter. Even when I was a kid, I knew one day I'd get married and have a son. I never thought about having a daughter. Words can't describe how I feel about you. You and I have a very special bond. My friends told me that a little girl would make melt like ice cream. And I've been melting ever since the day that you got here. Our relationship grows each day. To say that I have spoiled you is an understatement. You've learned how to use those big brown puppy dog eyes to get what you want from me. As much as I want to say no...I can't. Sometimes I look at you and I don't want you to get older. Getting older means that one day you will...want to wear make up, want to wear something that I might not like...like boys and want boys to like you back...be approached to do something that you know isn't right. It'll be those moments when you'll hear a voice in your head say..."I can't do that. My Daddy would KILL ME!!!" Simply put, you are a "Daddy's girl" and that will never change! I am proud of the little lady that you have become. I love you!

I know I can be difficult at times. Sometimes I'm James Evans...then I'm Cliff Huxtable. But I'm preparing you for this world that you'll have to live in. Being a father to the 4 of you is something that I take very seriously. It's the most rewarding job that I will ever have. It's a job that I can't afford to fail at...and I won't. Your grandparents have set a high standard for me to follow in becoming what I think a parent should be. If I can become half the parent that they are...I'll be fine.

Right after Deion was born, your grandfather gave me words that I will always remember.

There are 3 things that you must give your child...LOVE, DISCIPLINE, and an EXAMPLE to follow. I will continue to do that until they throw dirt on me. I thank God for loaning you to me!

I love you,

Dad

the gunshot that changed my life...

It's June

Every time the calendar hits June...most people think of the end of school...summer vacations...hot weather...and cookouts

I think of those things, too. But one of my first thoughts is about one particular June

June ' 88

It was the last day of school. I was about to complete my sophomore year of high school at Wilson High. It was a typical morning in our house. Everybody was asleep except me and my cousin, Eric. He too was finishing his sophomore year. We had just finished eating breakfast and were about to leave for school. Since it only took us 3 minutes to get to Wilson, we weren't in a rush. I told him that I had to go back upstairs to my room to get a book. I got the book and came back downstairs. When I got downstairs, I saw Eric holding a black gun. I stopped. I said "what are you doing with that?" I knew where he got the gun from.

The gun belonged to my aunt. Apparently, she was cleaning the gun the night before and had left it out. She kept it in a black bag. The bag looked like a small purse. I had seen the bag many times but it was always in her room. That day, the black bag was on the floor in our living room.

Eric was waving the gun and pointing it. He was pointing it like a little kid would point his toy pistol. Then he pointed it at me. I ducked and said...

"Man, don't point that at me!!!"

"Chill man. I took the clip out." he replied

That calmed me for a second. By now, my curiosity was getting the best of me. I wanted the gun.

"Lemme hold it."

He pointed the barrel downward and handed me the gun. I grabbed it and immediately felt empowered. I had never SEEN a gun before and now I was holding it. I found myself doing the same thing that Eric was doing...pointing it like a little kid. I was pointing it at objects in the house and acting as if I was shooting it. While I never intended to point it at Eric, he was in the room with me. Then it happened...

My index finger barely GRAZED the trigger

BANG!!!!!

All I see is fire as the bullet is discharged. It happened so fast that I could believe it. I stood in shock. My mouth was wide open. I look at Eric...and he can't believe that I fired the shot. The bullet missed the tv but went through our living room wall...then through our dining room wall...then through our brick chimney. There was so much smoke that I was coughing. I yell at Eric...

"I thought you said you took the clip out!!!!"

"I did"...he yelled back

We didn't know anything about the bullet in the chamber. By this time, I'm scrambling. I know that I have to hide the gun because my mom, aunt, and uncle will be awake any minute now. I almost put it in my waste band but the barrel was too hot and I couldn't run the risk of shooting myself (even though there were no bullets). I decided to put the gun back in the black bag. By this time, my aunt and my mom run into the room asking what happened. At this time, me and Eric did what any other red blooded American kid would do...

We lied.

We said the gun "went off" from the bag. Looking back on it, we didn't know how dumb that sounded. The bag was on the floor where my aunt had left it. Logistically, there's no way the gun could have fired high enough to go OVER the tv from the floor. We managed to get out of the house with that lie and head off to school. The plan was to stick with that lie once we got home but we eventually caved in and told the truth. It wasn't like we had any other options.

The punishment was "house arrest". We couldn't talk on the phone nor go outside for the rest of the summer. It was horrible. It was the longest summer of my life. While I can laugh today at firing a loaded gun in my house, the reality is that I could have died that day. I could have killed Eric. The guilt of what COULD have happened that day haunted me for a long time. Honestly, I changed that day. I became a person who cared more about life. My whole outlook changed. I got even more serious about school and my first love (football). On a day that I could have died...I was reborn. Simple put...it was the gunshot that changed my life.

State of Hip Hop Vol 2

We're BACK...again!!!

The 12 Radio Show is back on the air! On this episode, we'll talk about the State of of Hip Hop Vol 2. We'll talk about the GOOD...BAD...and UGLY of Hip Hop.

Past and Present! We'll also talk about our visions for the art form!

Join host 12kyle and special guest, Q the 6th Man. If you're a fan of Hip Hop, you DON'T want to miss this show!

Tonight's show will air from 9pm-11pm est. You can call in (347)215-7162 or listen online www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle

PODCAST: Freddie Gray & Baltimore...through our eyes

WHO: 12 Radio Show - host 12kyle &co-host, Krishna

WHAT: Freddie Gray and Baltimore...through our eyes

LISTEN BELOW...

Freddie Gray and Baltimore...through our eyes (show preview)

WHO: 12 Radio Show - host 12kyle & co-host, Krishna

WHAT: Freddie Gray and Baltimore...through our eyes

WHERE: www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle or (347)215-7162

WHEN: Tonight from 9pm-11pm est

WHY: You know why!!!!

are you EMOTIONALLY intelligent???

"He/she is TOO emotional"

How many times have you heard that said about someone? If you're like me...you've probably heard it alot.

I learned at an early age to always keep my head. No matter what was going on. Never get too high or too low. One thing I also learned was to never be TOO emotional...about anything. Use your emotions to the bring out the best in yourself. There is a such thing as being emotionally intelligent.

I came across this article and I wanted to share it with you...


How to be Emotionally Intelligent


1. SELF-AWARENESS
Realistic self-confidence: You understand your own strengths and limitations; you operate from competence and know when to rely on someone else on the team.

Emotional insight: You understand your feelings. Being aware of what makes you angry, for instance, can help you manage that anger.

2. SELF-MANAGEMENT
Resilience: You stay calm under pressure and recover quickly from upsets. You don’t brood or panic. In a crisis, people look to the leader for reassurance; if the leader is calm, they can be, too.

Emotional balance: You keep any distressful feelings in check — instead of blowing up at people, you let them know what’s wrong and what the solution is.
Self-motivation: You keep moving toward distant goals despite setbacks.

3. EMPATHY
Cognitive and emotional empathy:Because you understand other perspectives, you can put things in ways colleagues comprehend. And you welcome their questions, just to be sure. Cognitive empathy, along with reading another person’s feelings accurately, makes for effective communication.

Good listening: You pay full attention to the other person and take time to understand what they are saying, without talking over them or hijacking the agenda.

4. RELATIONSHIP SKILLS
Compelling communication: You put your points in persuasive, clear ways so that people are motivated as well as clear about expectations.

Team playing: People feel relaxed working with you. One sign: They laugh easily around you.

The question is...are you emotionally intelligent? If so, which qualities do you have?

PODCAST: State of Hip Hop Vol 1

We're BACK!!!

On this episode, we discussed  the State of of Hip Hop Vol 1. We talked about the GOOD...BAD...and UGLY of Hip Hop.

Past and Present! We also talked about our visions for the art form!

Check out host 12kyle and special guest, Q the 6th Man. If you're a fan of Hip Hop, you MUST listen to this show!

LISTEN BELOW...