PODCAST: doing dumb shyt...

When you think back to your childhood, there were probably a few times that you got into trouble for doing something dumb or crazy. Quite often, you weren't alone when you got into trouble. I had my share of experiences. More often than not, if I was getting into trouble...I wasn't alone. My partner in crime was usually my cousin, Eric. On this podcast, I'll share with you some stories of some dumb stuff that I did when i was growing up. And Eric was right there with me. 

doing dumb shyt...

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the gunshot that changed my life...

It's June

Every time the calendar hits June...most people think of the end of school...summer vacations...hot weather...and cookouts

I think of those things, too. But one of my first thoughts is about one particular June

June ' 88

It was the last day of school. I was about to complete my sophomore year of high school at Wilson High. It was a typical morning in our house. Everybody was asleep except me and my cousin, Eric. He too was finishing his sophomore year. We had just finished eating breakfast and were about to leave for school. Since it only took us 3 minutes to get to Wilson, we weren't in a rush. I told him that I had to go back upstairs to my room to get a book. I got the book and came back downstairs. When I got downstairs, I saw Eric holding a black gun. I stopped. I said "what are you doing with that?" I knew where he got the gun from.

The gun belonged to my aunt. Apparently, she was cleaning the gun the night before and had left it out. She kept it in a black bag. The bag looked like a small purse. I had seen the bag many times but it was always in her room. That day, the black bag was on the floor in our living room.

Eric was waving the gun and pointing it. He was pointing it like a little kid would point his toy pistol. Then he pointed it at me. I ducked and said...

"Man, don't point that at me!!!"

"Chill man. I took the clip out." he replied

That calmed me for a second. By now, my curiosity was getting the best of me. I wanted the gun.

"Lemme hold it."

He pointed the barrel downward and handed me the gun. I grabbed it and immediately felt empowered. I had never SEEN a gun before and now I was holding it. I found myself doing the same thing that Eric was doing...pointing it like a little kid. I was pointing it at objects in the house and acting as if I was shooting it. While I never intended to point it at Eric, he was in the room with me. Then it happened...

My index finger barely GRAZED the trigger

BANG!!!!!

All I see is fire as the bullet is discharged. It happened so fast that I could believe it. I stood in shock. My mouth was wide open. I look at Eric...and he can't believe that I fired the shot. The bullet missed the tv but went through our living room wall...then through our dining room wall...then through our brick chimney. There was so much smoke that I was coughing. I yell at Eric...

"I thought you said you took the clip out!!!!"

"I did"...he yelled back

We didn't know anything about the bullet in the chamber. By this time, I'm scrambling. I know that I have to hide the gun because my mom, aunt, and uncle will be awake any minute now. I almost put it in my waste band but the barrel was too hot and I couldn't run the risk of shooting myself (even though there were no bullets). I decided to put the gun back in the black bag. By this time, my aunt and my mom run into the room asking what happened. At this time, me and Eric did what any other red blooded American kid would do...

We lied.

We said the gun "went off" from the bag. Looking back on it, we didn't know how dumb that sounded. The bag was on the floor where my aunt had left it. Logistically, there's no way the gun could have fired high enough to go OVER the tv from the floor. We managed to get out of the house with that lie and head off to school. The plan was to stick with that lie once we got home but we eventually caved in and told the truth. It wasn't like we had any other options.

The punishment was "house arrest". We couldn't talk on the phone nor go outside for the rest of the summer. It was horrible. It was the longest summer of my life. While I can laugh today at firing a loaded gun in my house, the reality is that I could have died that day. I could have killed Eric. The guilt of what COULD have happened that day haunted me for a long time. Honestly, I changed that day. I became a person who cared more about life. My whole outlook changed. I got even more serious about school and my first love (football). On a day that I could have died...I was reborn. Simple put...it was the gunshot that changed my life.

the genesis...

August 4, 1991

I had waited for this day for a long time! I couldn't believe it was finally here. I remember it like it was yesterday. Two months prior to this day, I had graduated from high school. But this day had come...the day that I was to leave to go off to college. 

Some people would be nervous or anxious about leaving home. Not me. I had mentally prepared myself for this day for a long time. My school, South Carolina State University, was located just an hour and a half away. Not too far away from home...but not too close either. Graduating from high school wasn't a big deal for me. As much I loved my days at Wilson High School, I wasn't sad to be leaving. College was the place that I had dreamed of being. When I watched "A Different World" on tv, I envisioned my college experience being just like that. It wasn't far from it. LOL. Nevertheless, I was eagerly anticipating college. I had my concerns about leaving my mom and my brother, who was entering his sophomore year at Wilson. I knew he'd be fine. I knew mom would be fine. She had prepared me and we both knew it. My only other concern was my crew. We had become so close over the years. We all were headed to different colleges. Two of my other boys were headed to the military. I had my cousin, Eric, with me at South Carolina State and my boy JFresh was next door at Claflin University. I wanted the crew to remain as close as we had always been. I wasn't sure how it was gonna happen. There was no such thing as email nor free long distance calls. I also had football. I knew that it would keep me more than busy. 

Back to that day, I remember going to church then coming home and eating dinner. I remember the mood in the house was very weird. We didn't say much at dinner. I packed the van and my mom was going to drive me to school. My brother, Damon, didn't come. I remember walking out of my room and down the hall to his room. I was going to tell him goodbye. Deep down, I was dreading that walk. It seemed like it took me forever just to take those few steps. I walked in his room and he had his head down. This would be the first time that we would be apart. We had endured our parents messy divorce together. He lifted his head and I could see tears in his eyes. My eyes welled up. I gave him a huge and I gave him a quick pep talk that any big brother would. I told him he'd be ok. I reassured him that I was just a phone call away. I walked down the stairs and jumped in the van with my mom. That was the last day that I lived in my mom's house...last time that I lived in my hometown, Florence, SC...last time in the nest. It was time for me to go.

Although Eric was going to be a freshman like me, he didn't have to come to school for another 3 wks. I was on campus early because of football camp as we were preparing for the upcoming season. When I got on campus, I didn't know anybody. There were no other students on campus...just the football team. There is a HUGE difference between high school football and college football. I found that out very quick. For the first time, there were players REALLY better than me. Doubtful thoughts crept in. I was beginning to feel a little homesick. I remember wondering out loud if I was cut out for college football. I called my parents. Two phone calls...one common theme...you can do anything that you want but you have to work at it. And they were right. By the time school started, the homesick feelings left. I learned that I would be red-shirted (meaning I could practice but couldn't play in the games until the next year). It gave me a chance to get stronger and better. I needed that.

They say you learn more between birth and the age of 6 than you learn for the rest of your life. Well, I think I learned more during my freshman year of college than you could learn in two lifetimes. I learned...how to have productive days on very little sleep...how to party...about people and their ways...about the game that I fell in love with...about family...about women...about love...and so much more. I thought I knew it all before August 4th...but I knew very little.

More importantly, I found me and I was slowly becoming the man that I was raised and groomed to be.