what we are

*repost May 2010*

I tried to get some work done from home on a rainy evening.

The only sounds that were heard through my spacious, yet partially furnished condo was the rainfall and the instrumental beats from JDilla. Rainy days in downtown Atlanta always made me feel peaceful. I knew it'd be a good night.

Then my cell phone rang. It was Terrin. Terrin is a woman who I've been seeing for the last 4 months. She's not my girlfriend and I'm not her boyfriend. We've never "defined" what we have. We go out on dates and stuff. And of course, we're sleeping together. I like her. She said from the onset that she wasn't looking for a man. That was cool for me because I'm not looking for a girlfriend.

"Hello." I answered.

"Hey. I wanted to know if it was cool if I came over. I need to talk to you." she said

"Sure. C'mon over. I'll be here."
She said she was already downtown so she'd be over in 10 mins. I'll admit...I was curious why she wanted to talk to me in person. She could have said whatever she needed to say over the phone. She arrives 10 mins later. Before she gets comfortable, I offered her something to drink. She declined. I noticed a concerned look on her face. I asked what was wrong.

"I need to know where I stand with you? I want you to be honest with me. We spend so much time together. But I don't know where I am in your mind. I want to know where this is going. It's been 4 months. I like you. I mean...I really like you. I just need to know what's up."
I paused for a second. I wasn't expecting THIS conversation. I'm a bachelor without any kids. I want to settle down one day. Not today. Not tomorrow. I cleared my throat.

"You want me to be honest?" I asked

She replied..."Yes."
"I like you. I think you're cool. I enjoy hanging out with you. I've enjoyed these past 4 months. I haven't seen anybody since we've been together. I haven't asked you if you've been out with anybody since we've been together because it's not my business. I don't know if you have or not."

She interrupted me..."I haven't. I don't get down like that. You know me."

Before I began my next words...I started to sound like that song by Little Brother.

"I don't want a relationship with you. I don't want a relationship with anybody. I know that's not what you wanted to hear but you told me to be honest. You want to be my girlfriend. You can't be. I like you but I don't wanna be serious right now. If that means that we end what we have, then that's what we'll do. In fact, maybe that's what we SHOULD do since this is how you really feel. Somewhere between me and you sharing laughs...you had visions of me and you sharing baths. You want to see us together and I can only ask have I misled you. I don't think I did. If so, I'm sorry. I dig you...please understand. I just don't dig you enough to be your man."

Blank stare.

"I just can't give you what you want and you can't give me what I need. I'm sorry that we could never be more than what we are."

Silence...

throwback thursday (allergic2crazy)

*re-post from 2010*

I don't have any allergies...

Well...I do have one

I'm allergic to crazy people. Crazy women in particular. I had an allergic reaction to one. Wanna hear about it?? Of course you do!

Back in '98, I was a young bachelor who had just moved to Atlanta. Since I was new to the city, I felt the need to branch out and meet new people because I didn't know anybody. I was working for a finance company at the time. I liked the environment and I liked the potential growth.

One day at work, my supervisor advised me that we would be having lunch with some clients. I really didn't feel like going to lunch with the clients that day because I figured that I'd be meeting with a bunch of old stiffs who wanted to talk about the stock market all day. I wasn't interested but I had to go. To my surprise, there was a young lady at the lunch meeting. Her name was Toni. I was surprised to see her because the lunch meetings usually consisted of men. Toni was cute, too. We sat next to each other during the meeting. She told me that she had graduated from Spelman College. She was enrolled in the Masters program at Georgia Tech. When she saw my championship ring, she asked where I played football. She told me that she was a big football fan. Over the lunch, I realized that we had a lot in common. After the meeting, we exchanged phone numbers.

I took her number because I wanted to get to know as many people as I could. I wasn't looking for a girlfriend. I had just broken up with my girlfriend (now wife). So, I was a free agent, right (lol)???

Toni called me a few days. We talked on the phone for 2 hours. The conversation started out on a professional tip. She changed it quickly made it personal. I was ok with that. We discussed our likes/dislikes and previous relationships. We talked the next day for 2 hours. I learned a lot about her. And I'm sure that she learned a lot about me. A few days passed...I didn't hear from her and I didn't call her. That was cool with me. I was busy with work. Then, one day at work...I got 2 voicemails while I was at lunch. The voicemails were from Toni. I'm not sure why she was calling. I was swamped at work that day so I didn't get a chance to return her calls.

I worked late that day. It was a Friday. As much as I wanted to kick it with my boy JFresh, I was tired from work and I wasn't going out. I got home at 7:30. When I checked my caller ID box (ole skool), I noticed that Toni had called me 5 times. She didn't leave a message though! I found that to be weird. I sat down on my couch to watch tv. All of a sudden, I heard a knock at my door. That was strange. Nobody knocks at my door because nobody knew where I lived except JFresh. I lived in an a gated apartment complex. I dunno who it was. I opened the door...and it was Toni. I was shocked!

Me : Toni!?? What are you doing here?

Toni : You told me that you lived on Candler Road. I was in the area so I figured that I would stop by to see you.

Me: How did you get into the gate?

Toni : Oh...the gate was broken. I drove around and I saw your car. I saw an old man outside and he told me where you lived

Me : Yeah, that was my dude, Amos. So...why are you here???

Toni : Do you want to hang out with me tonight? Do you want to go to dinner or something?

Me : Um...

Toni : You don't wanna hang with me? Is there somebody HERE? *she starts to look around my apartment as if she was my momma*

Me : Nah. It's not that. I'm 'sposed to be hanging with JFresh. He just broke up with his girl and he's gonna need somebody to talk to. Tonight is not a good time. I'll call you later

I proceeded to PUSH Toni out of the door to my apartment. I couldn't believe that she tried to blow up my spot like that. Keep in mind that I had only known Toni for a total of 6 days and 4 hours of telephone conversations. Ten minutes later, my phone is ringing. It's Toni. I don't answer the phone. She leaves me a nasty voicemail...

"Kyle...this is Toni! I don't know what your problem is. I thought you were different but you're just like the rest of these men around here. You didn't even have enough manners to walk me out to my car! You aint shit! You're just like the rest of them! *CLICK*

Wow! Maybe I should have walked her to her car because Candler Road in Decatur, Ga is STRAIGHT hood! However, I don't know how I got to that point with her. I guess she was right...I'm like the rest of them.

Allergic 2 crazy people!

throwbackthursday

It's Throwback Thursday and I decided to participate with a few pics and commentary. I don't do this often but I saw some old pics and decided to do it. 

Mom & Dad...they knew the time. I like this pic b/c Mom is real fly. I'm guessing that Dad's suit was hot back then. Peep the pork chop sideburns. LMAO

Me & my brother Damon...I remember this b/c he wouldn't sit still to take the picture

Me & my cousin Eric with my Dad in the background. I'll take a wild guess that we had just come from church.

Senior Year...before I wore #12...I was #1

Me & my homie Shaft...graduation day...June 7, 1991

Me & my homegirl Keisha....junior year at South Carolina State University. Somebody was taking a picture of me and she "snuck up" behind me and got in the pic. LOL. Peep the Sony Walkman

Picture Day...junior year. I couldn't smile that day...it was too DAMN HOT!!!

Me & Coach Jeffries...last home game at Oliver C. Dawson Stadium (Senior Day). The man is a legend. I learned a lot from him. 

 3 da hard way...this was Brandon's FIRST family pic.

Skyler & Daddy...our FIRST picture together. Awwwww

Skyler & Daddy...again. Not sure why she is ice grillin

Da Fam...Me, Mrs 12, Deion, Kameron, & Brandon

let's go back 2 high school

The boyz are back at it!!!

Check out this week's podcast with Eclectik on the Eclectik Discussion Podcast. My boy Eclectik had me on his podcast this week. Tune in and listen as we laugh and talk about our high school days.

Click the link and listen!

http://eclectikrelaxation.com/blog/2012/05/17/edp12-high-school-memories/


Eclectik

Wilson High

throwback thursday

Picture this...

the time was 1993...

the scene was on the campus of my alma mater, South Carolina State University.


As many of you know, I met my wife when I was in college. Prior to meeting her, I was the typical guy who loved women. I had seen alotta things in my time at SC State when it came to sistas. However, I had one encounter that I'll never forget...


One day after practice, me and my boys, Moe and Russell stopped by the cafe to grab something to eat. As we were eating, I noticed a female who was staring at me from across the room. Our eyes connected. She smiled and looked away. A few minutes passed and I noticed that she was staring at me again. She smiled at me. So, I smiled at her. I didn't know who she was. In fact, prior to that day I had never seen her before. I told Moe and Russ that she was checkin' me out. She was very cute. I mean, she was an eye catcher (looked like Megan Goode). I waited for her to leave so I could see what her body looked like. As she walked past our table, I noticed that she had a nice body AND she was bowlegged. OMG! A young 12kyle was a sucka for women with pretty eyes and bowlegs. Anyway, I wanted to run up on her and talk to her but I played it cool. I knew I'd see her again...

I saw the Mystery Girl for the next few days at the same cafe...at the same time. She continued to stare and smile. Well, I had made up my mind that it was time for me to stop being cool and holla at her. Just as I was about to stroll over to her table I ran into an old female friend from freshman year. She proceeded to talk (without interruption) for the next 10 mins. By the time she finished, the Mystery Girl was gone. I was pissed. She had slipped through my fingers again. Or did she? Well, later that night, I received a phone call from my homegirl, Stacy. She called and said that her friend Kandi wants to meet me. She also said that "Kandi has been watching you in the cafe and she thinks that you're cute." TOUCHDOWN! Could it be that Stacy is friends with the Mystery Girl???? Before I got my hopes up I had to confirm it. I asked Stacy what was Kandi wearing that day. She replied..."a yellow shirt and jeans." I thought to myself..."YESSSSS! That's her. That's what she was wearing." I told Stacy to give Kandi my number and we'd talk. She did.

Kandi called me the next day. I was surprised at how cool she was. Within a few mins into the conversation, I realized that not only was she fine but she was smart (can't talk to dumb chicks). I was liking her even more now. We talked for 2 hrs that night. We complimented each other on our looks. She said that she didnt know if I had paid her any attention. I told her that I had never seen her around until recently. I was truly impressed. I learned that she was a big football fan, pre-med major, and a hip hop fan. That was right up my alley!!!

For the next week, Kandi and I would talk on the phone for at least an hour each night. I was really feeling her. Not only was she fine but she had a good head on her shoulders. One night while we were on the phone, I heard her humming a tune. I asked her if she could sing. She said "yes." So, I asked her to sing something for me. She sang the first verse of Anita Baker's "You Bring Me Joy." OMG!!! She sounded JUST like Anita Baker!!!! I'm thinkin' to myself..."she went from being a Mystery Girl to a fine, smart chick who can sing her face off." Young 12kyle was enjoying himself.

From the time that we exchanged numbers, we had not seen each other in the cafe anymore. The phone calls were great but she felt like we should sit down face-to-face. That was cool for me b/c I wanted to stare into thos pretty brown eyes any way. We agreed to meet for brunch on a Sunday morning. I was pumped up. Got dressed and threw on some Cool Water cologne (don't laugh...lol). I made it to the cafe before she did so I sat down and waited for her arrival.

I waited. And waited. And waited. I'm like..."where is this chick?" Finally, a chick sits directly in front of me. I looked at her and smiled...but it wasn't Kandi. I wanted to tell the chick that the seat was taken. But before I could open my mouth she said..."Hi Kyle. I'm Kandi. Nice to FINALLY talk to you in person and not over the phone." This chick wasn't Kandi. Well, she WAS but she wasn't. I mean, she was Kandi but she wasn't the same chick who I was droolin' over. It wasn't her. She didn't look good either...I mean...she was aiiight. But she didn't look like the Mystery Girl. Was this a case of mistaken identity? How the hell did this happen? This chick had on halter top that exposed her breasts. And she had hair on her chest!!!!! Ewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

I was sooo disgusted. But I had to play it cool and act like I was still interested in talking. I played it off but that might have been the longest 45 mins of my life. I was shook. I don't know how this happened! Where was the chick who looked liked Megan with the big pretty eyes and the bow legs? We had a decent convo despite the fact that I was an emotional wreck inside. As I left the cafe, I told her that I'd call her later (I didnt but I did call her again) I was in a state of shock.

I was looking for the dime and somebody gave me a hairy nickel.

SHIT!