There are certain rules that all men must live by...
1. Don't mess with another man's money...
2. Don't mess with another man's family...
3. Don't mess with another man's woman...
These are all unwritten man laws that we live by. Breaking one of these rules...in most cases...can get you cussed out, beat up, stabbed, shot at (or shot), and or killed.
There's another unwritten rule that we live by but it's unlike the others...
You can't make a ho your housewife.
It's subtle but to the point. We have always been taught to neva eva eva eva eva eva to fall in love with a freak. Now...I know what you're thinking...if a woman sleeps around a lot then she's considered a ho or a freak but if a man does the same thing...he's considered to be a stud. Is it a double standard???? Yes! Don't be mad at me, I didn't make the rules...I just follow em.
I arrived at these thoughts yesterday when I heard that Darius McCrary had secretly married Karrine Steffans over the weekend. Many of you remember Darius as Eddie Winslow on the hit tv series Family Matters. And you don't need me to tell you who Steffans is. Most men that I know...are familiar with her by her nickname..."Superhead". If you don't know who she is, look her up and you'll see that she has a reputation that preceeds her.
After hearing the news, my first thought was..."what a dummy!" I mean, not only did she have sex with hundreds of celebrites and wrote books about her exploits and how she made money off them...but there is a video of her "puttin in work." LOL. You just don't do that in my opinion. She's just downright nasty. Rick James said it best when he said you can't have a superfreak "because you can't take her home to your momma." That is soooo true. Picture McCrary introducing her to his momz. "Hey mom...I'd like you to meet my woman, Superhead."
Anyway, it got me thinking...how much is too much. I mean, I don't think any of us married folk were virgins before we got married. And I KNOW the single people who read this blog all the time are not virgins. LMAO!!! As men, it's an issue that we think about when we're trying to get close to you. We want you to be wild and do all the stuff that we like...buuuuuuuuuuuut...we don't want no freaks! Well, we want you to be a freak but you gotta be our personal freak! You can't give it up to everybody. When the questions arise about previous sex partners, we never get the real answer...male or female. We all lie. I know you've lied about it because you're probably laughing as you read this. haaaaa. In the day of AIDS and HIV, we should be asking these questions but I know what time it is.
"If you ask a woman how many sexual partners she's had, she'll tell you how many boyfriends she's had. She's aint gonna count the random dudes that she gave it up too!"- Chris Rock
For the record...most men know how many men their woman has slept with despite what they say. We have a way of knowing. I would tell you how but I'd be breaking a man law.
Since we're all freaks to some degree...we want somebody just as freaky as us...but we don't want a stone cold freak! I mean, nobody wants to have a man/woman that the world thinks is a ho or a slut (male or female). So here's the questions...
Ladiez...
Would you be honest with your man if you had a track record like Superhead or if you had more sexual partners than you think you should have had in your life time?
Fellaz...
Could you be with a chick who the world thought was the biggest ho in town? Could you marry a chick like Superhead? If so, why?
Hollatachaboi!!!
1. Don't mess with another man's money...
2. Don't mess with another man's family...
3. Don't mess with another man's woman...
These are all unwritten man laws that we live by. Breaking one of these rules...in most cases...can get you cussed out, beat up, stabbed, shot at (or shot), and or killed.
There's another unwritten rule that we live by but it's unlike the others...
You can't make a ho your housewife.
It's subtle but to the point. We have always been taught to neva eva eva eva eva eva to fall in love with a freak. Now...I know what you're thinking...if a woman sleeps around a lot then she's considered a ho or a freak but if a man does the same thing...he's considered to be a stud. Is it a double standard???? Yes! Don't be mad at me, I didn't make the rules...I just follow em.
I arrived at these thoughts yesterday when I heard that Darius McCrary had secretly married Karrine Steffans over the weekend. Many of you remember Darius as Eddie Winslow on the hit tv series Family Matters. And you don't need me to tell you who Steffans is. Most men that I know...are familiar with her by her nickname..."Superhead". If you don't know who she is, look her up and you'll see that she has a reputation that preceeds her.
After hearing the news, my first thought was..."what a dummy!" I mean, not only did she have sex with hundreds of celebrites and wrote books about her exploits and how she made money off them...but there is a video of her "puttin in work." LOL. You just don't do that in my opinion. She's just downright nasty. Rick James said it best when he said you can't have a superfreak "because you can't take her home to your momma." That is soooo true. Picture McCrary introducing her to his momz. "Hey mom...I'd like you to meet my woman, Superhead."
Anyway, it got me thinking...how much is too much. I mean, I don't think any of us married folk were virgins before we got married. And I KNOW the single people who read this blog all the time are not virgins. LMAO!!! As men, it's an issue that we think about when we're trying to get close to you. We want you to be wild and do all the stuff that we like...buuuuuuuuuuuut...we don't want no freaks! Well, we want you to be a freak but you gotta be our personal freak! You can't give it up to everybody. When the questions arise about previous sex partners, we never get the real answer...male or female. We all lie. I know you've lied about it because you're probably laughing as you read this. haaaaa. In the day of AIDS and HIV, we should be asking these questions but I know what time it is.
"If you ask a woman how many sexual partners she's had, she'll tell you how many boyfriends she's had. She's aint gonna count the random dudes that she gave it up too!"- Chris Rock
For the record...most men know how many men their woman has slept with despite what they say. We have a way of knowing. I would tell you how but I'd be breaking a man law.
Since we're all freaks to some degree...we want somebody just as freaky as us...but we don't want a stone cold freak! I mean, nobody wants to have a man/woman that the world thinks is a ho or a slut (male or female). So here's the questions...
Ladiez...
Would you be honest with your man if you had a track record like Superhead or if you had more sexual partners than you think you should have had in your life time?
Fellaz...
Could you be with a chick who the world thought was the biggest ho in town? Could you marry a chick like Superhead? If so, why?
Hollatachaboi!!!
27 comments:
what the...? don't be assuming ish about me! How you just gonna tell people I ain't a virgin? Why? 'cause I got two kids??
Oh.
I see your point.
Never mind... carry on...
now that the we're past the craziness...
If a dude asks me my magic number, he'll just get the standard, "I've been with enough to know what I like" and if he don't like it, well, there's the door...
PS- Eddie from Family Matters? Really? Ewww. I hope he went to the clinic with her and had her tested. Thrice!!!
Why?? I'm not hating, if you want to sleep around then that is your business. But when you publicize it to all and sundry then that's a different story. I couldn't do it. I feel sorry for her son.
I'd be honest if a guy asked me how many dudes I've slept with. Hey I'm a single woman, there's no shame in my game. He probably wouldn't believe the real number anyway.
Ummm i don't know about you but this single woman that reads your blog all the time is a virgin
***Disclaimer....That sentence was written 7 years ago.
LMAO. But I'd be honest if that was my past b/c i wouldn't be ashamed of the things i did. I wouldn't necessarily think it was any of his business but if he asked I'd tell.
Darius: The New Captain Saveahoe!
Is this something people ask each other now, when dating? "'Bout how many pa'tnahs you've had? And you aint gotta lie to kick it cause I have means of knowing the true number." *side eye for the yeah right guy*
It's not something ive EVER asked someone, nor is it something i want to be asked. Most of my sexual partners were FAR back in my past, and nobody needs to know about them.
Practicing safe sex should be more the issue for everyone. Those people all those years back dont have any affect on my health now, anyway. (I test regularly enough, during pregnancies and GYN checkups).
If ones number of partners is considered low, be happy (or afraid of the lack of experience LOL). With this said, i dont think someone with a high amount of partners necessarily has something wrong with them. Some people are more experimental than others. Hopefully they were careful, and hopefully it was all consensual and not alot of drunken party sex.
I love sex, and i always have. I may have had it for some of the wrong reasons when i was younger. However, if I were still single or found myself in the dating scene again by some unfortunate fluke,I wouldnt lie and say I would wait to be in a "loving relationship" in order to have sex again (still, hypothetically speaking). I'm not wasting my years away without sexual enjoyment (I swear I just had this thot and tweeted it today! Scarry we on the same ish.). It's too much a part of my life. Like i always say - to each their own.
And with that, i'm not telling ya how many partners i've had LOL. Even Mr. Pro don't know my number, but he knows the number of positions and ways I can freak him in! LMAO
another thing. people shouldn't get too caught up in a number. If you like the person go for it! we should be more likely to make sure they're not a drug user and have practiced safe sex before we start grilling them on how many people they've been with.
Also, I personally think it shows an insecurity on someone's part- don't let a number second guess a connection you have with another- we've all lived differently and it's important to live for TODAY. KWIM?
I would wait for them to volunteer that information if so chooses; it's a bit affronting when someone asks what your sexual history is and you're casually dating, trying to get to know them . That may distort the light you view them in.
Question: what makes Karrine's "huslte" less than flattering vs. Octomom's "hustle?" They both found their niche to obtain fame and fortune to satisfy their desires. If down the road Octomom marries should the new mother-in-law to be hold her past against her, as in the case of Karrine? Maybe she has found true love and intimacy with Darius. The thing is gonna be will he provide ENOUGH experiences for her to fill a book about just their sexcapades? LMFAO At least she's freak enough to TRY and not let shyt get bedroom boring. I aint mad at her. Stop hatin.
end rant. I'm feeling frisky now. sigh.
First, This dude must have been first in line when they were handing out the DUMBASS gene. Because not only is she a super duper hoe! But she made a video about how he Eddie Winslow beat her up.
Second I would never lie about how many partners I had. She on the other hand has MAJOR self esteem issues and needs to work that 'ish out in therapy.
I'm back in the building Boy Wonder. What up Fam?
Yo, as a dude your taught that you have to have a certain amount of sexual prowess. With my first girlfriend I lied up. I told her I had been with 2 women when I was really a virgin. With my last girlfriend before marriage. I lied Down. i said I had ONLY slept with 6 women. It's funny how that is.
But you can't marry a ho. You just can't. I for one am a little too into the exploits of my partner to KNOW that she boned every Tom D*ck and Harry. That would bother me to no end.
Now as for the women I've been with.......Don't ask if you don't wanna know the truth. LMAO.
Never ask a woman about how many men she has been with.
1. They'll either lie..(and you still won't know)
2.Or they may tell you more than you really wanted to know.
As for me... If I knew ahead of time that this girl has been around the block a few times (Like
"Superhead") Then no..I'm not going to marry her, oh hellll nah..
But in all seriousness..We are all adults and after a certain age...I know that people have been with a couple of people..I mean ,it's not as if they were waiting all their lives for me to show up! :)
If he is happy marrying her, I say "do you" but it couldn't be me. Maybe because she is so public with her exploits and made it into a career.
I have never wanted to be in a room with various people and know that each of them have had sex with my SO. That's just me.
But yes, I was a virgin when I married so once again...I am in the minority. I have never lied about my number. It is low and I have no shame in that. Inexperienced? Maybe, but I do a lot of research ;)
Would I marry someone who has had a lot of partners? Depends. I just want my SO to value his life, meaning protect himself, get tested, be responsible. We are all adults and everyone has a past.
WHOA...timeout!!!
Sidenote - Ain't she pregnant by Bow Wow? WTH!?!?!
I am so sick of the double standards!! Ugh. A dude that has slept with a bunch of women in my opinion is just as much of a ho as superhead is. It doesn't make a man more appealing because he has "sexual experience" nor does it make him a stud. A ho is a ho is a ho, and they come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and GENDERS!!
Off that soapbox, I am in agreement with Pro. More concern should be taken in if the person is protecting themselves rather than an actual number. If you meet a dude that has a bunch of children by different women running around, there is no clearer indication that homey isn't protecting himself. That being said, I have no shame in disclosing my number (and I have been asked) and I would hope that the person I am with can do the same.
I am sure the last thing that Darrius was thinking about was how many dudes she had been with, and was moreso concerned with knowing he was going to be getting some super head, on the regular, for a long time.
If I was like Superhead, no I wouldn't be honest and say how many men I've slept with...that's just gross. If he told me he has slept with many women, I would be grossed out by that as well. Just because he is a man, doesn't give him an excuse to be a ho (even though society says it's ok).
In response to Miss Mika.
You're right there is a double standard. But here's where your logic takes a turn for the worse. If you and I are talking and I call you a ho....the conversation is over and I'll be lucky if I don't get a smack before you walk away. If you call me a ho....I'll smile and wear it on my chest. Then ask you for your number. Cause not only is it acceptable for a dude to be a ho....among his boyz he's revered. Take that. LOL
I only seem to show up for the interesting topics...
Well Cuz.... I got 5 points and I'll be gone.
1.) Rules are made to be broken, but WOW you gotta choose the right ones to break... If you are comfortable in yourself and your relationship and don't mind the rumors and chuckles even the belly laughs when you walk by with you lady, be happy that you have her and pray that you are not another victim.
2.) Ladies, yes there is a double standard, but you cannot be upset that you lost this one, hell you win all the rest. Marriage, Sex, Courts (law), Compassion, Dating, favor, etc. You call us dogs, but if we call you a female dog.... wellllll let's just leave it at that!
3.) Ladies & others (PC), if knew that the man you were in love with slept with more that 50 females, would you stay with him? You may not but when you look at the averages, ya'll do!
4.) Balance- the true test is how one balances the art of the skill without multiple practice sessions. If you can develop upper level skill without making the town smile, you are good. Then you have to adjust your performance to reflect your art after you have the commitment but not until then.
5.) Cookie should be a reservation. I was a proud virgin until that woman made me jump her bones… Now, I am like a crack head… If you stop using sex as a weapon, or as a tool for manipulation, you can’t lose a guy you never had. Remember the one you thought you could keep with sex… is he still the one! WOW!
I would never tell a dude how many partners I had. Not because I'm ashamed of the number(cause I'm not) but because it could possibly cause more problems later! Shyt,I saw 3 and then it would be like daaaaaaaaaaaaaayum three dudes are you serious? LOL! The Teacher and I had this convo. He said shyt if a woman says one number you need to add at least 10-12 to that...lol!
I grew up with a girl that's two years younger than me. She got married a couple of years ago and I was surprised that the dude married here cause she had been with a lot of people! I MEAN A LOT! I asked her one day and she told me that from the age of 14-28 she got it in with 80 dudes! I was like WOW! She was like shyt I was a ho but now i'm not it's all part of growing up! I was like Okaaaaay! They're still married to this day! LOL!
i do not think that i could marry someone who i absolutely know has been around so many blocks so many times. and with the sex tape out in the open (and on my hard drive) i could not bring myself to do it.
on the other hand, if we met and i had no idea then i found out, then there is nothing i could do about that. i would just accept the fact that everyone with a million or more has banged out my wife.
i always come into a situation assuming that the girl is a freak, therefore i do not ask. i just use the special ability that you spoke of and find out myself
Its messed up that all of you men say with honor that you will never marry a ho. But not one of you said you would not sleep with a ho. If you hae unprotected sex with a ho and if you yourself have ho tendencies I'm afraid of you even if you double up on rain coats.
You want your woman to be your personal freak but if you did not teach her how to be a freak you need to wonder how did she get that way. HUMMMMM
Stop hatin on a sista cause you didn't get to hit it. As they say there is someone for everyone HO's need love too (just lots of it).
ShellyShell's friend had alot of lovers in her youth but now she is married and has changed her ways. should she be denied a good man to love her? Maybe she married a male ho and they are happy together
www.deliveringonthepromise.com/rcvmoore
Well, this is a very loaded question you've asked us here, Kyle.
The question is do you really want to know and what ranks high on your "ho-ometer."
All of you want your woman as close to a virgin as possible and if we feel like it'll drive you away, we'll give you round about figures. :)
Now, I do not now, nor will I ever have Superhead's track record. I don't know anyone who does have her track record other than other porn stars.
My answer to that question is always "do you want me to tell you the truth or tell you what I want to hear."
Then I tell the truth regardless. "More than one, less than five." :) I'm a good girl! *dusts off halo*
Hell No. I could never be with a woman who was a publicly acclaimed HO. Never, No way, Uh Uh. lol
Truth is...A HO is a HO is a HO, at any age, in any city, at any level of human endeavor. She just maintains and reinvents herself as time goes on. You cannot save a hoe, either.
Don't think just because you marry her, you will change her. Truth is, A Ho doesn't want to be saved. She is content in her ways, and lifestyle. Or, she wouldn't be a Ho with so many options at her disposal of real life opportunities and successes.
In relationships, there are certain things, I'd just rather not known. Even in going through the transition from Girlfriend to Ex, I don't want to know. Like, how many men CAME before me or even who's after. Literally. I'd rather not know.
Good,Good Blog.
LOL @ Brad's "take that".
I am still not one to willingly accept double standards like that, so "because it just is" doesn't fly with me. By accepting the double standard, we are accepting it as being acceptable, and it isn't.
Ms Moore makes an excellent point though... if you know that a particular woman is a ho, what kind of man are you for willingly sleeping with her? I don't care if you scrubbed your ding dong with Ajax, Clorox, and Lysol... I wouldn't do anything to it but say a prayer for it.
Amen.
I'ma pass on answering your question kyle, because the answer is obvious if you know anything about L, which you do. BUT, I will say that too many men don't give a damn about the man rules you listed at the beginning of your post. i absolutely HATE a man that will completely disregard the fact that I have a man and still try to holla. I can't tell you how many times I've had to cuss people out for that exact reason...UGH!!! OK, I'm done...this just happened (again!) yesterday, so I'm still a bit irritated...
:-)
1st of all, in terms of asking a woman about their past sexual history.....Jack Nicholson said it best when he said "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!". Any dude in his right mind would have his ego fuqqed up if his chick had more of a sexual history then he did (I KNOW that I would....especially with my own sexual history....lmao).
I just couldn't see myself MARRYING someone who has PUBLICLY put ALL OF HER BITNESS OUT THERE like Superhead has....even though she is very attractive. I mean, wha'cha gonna do if you marry someone like that and you come across one (of the PLETHORA) catz that have boned (or received MAJOR dome from) your 'QUEEEEEEEEEN TO BE' (sung like the cat from 'Coming To America'). You (the dude) can't KTFO (knock da fuq outta) of ALL OF 'EM....there would be too many. Plus, you (the dude) would be paranoid of what people thought of you and if she were doing da do with someone else....too much drama. I'm sure that women feel the same way if they come across the same problem with some dude who has the "Casanova" gene in him......
Basically, HELL TO THA NAW.....
Boogie
Superhead wouldn't have gotten any love from me because she's a well known ho. At my age, if I became single I wouldn't even ask the question. However, if the chick had whorish tendencies she'd catch the vapors. Sometimes you don't even have to ask to know, all you have to do is check the moves.
Ladies here is a freebie:
Most men will try as soon as he can, within reason, but that doesn't mean we are expecting to hit. If we hit sooner than expected then you just failed the ho test - even if the cookie was good we won't be around long.
I know you're grown and want to get your groove on too, but no man wants what he perceives as a ho.
The exception to that is weenie type dudes who get whipped by good head or a twist of the hips.
You also have to watch out for those cats looking to get you for your paper. They'll take you even if you show whorish tendancies if you got enough loot -- That's considered a come up.
well what are rules anyway.....all them will be broken eventually even with some exceptions
A housewife can be anyone even a ho....lol. If you got your game tight.
although I wouldnt ask I wouldnt mind if my man had been with quite a few women. As long has he is ready to settle now and he was safe, protected and didnt have loads of kids hanging around. The past is the past.
Sexing lots of women builds up experience and skills...I much prefer someone who is all confident and a master of the art than a shy hesitant virgin lol
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