Two weeks ago, my whole family traveled to Hilton Head, SC to spend a week and bond as a family. It was an incredible week. I really can't put into words what it meant to spend time with my uncle, aunts, my mom, cousins, my brother, and our families. While we were there, I could feel the spirit of my grandmother, Gladys (Granny), who passed away when I was six years old. Her love, her spirit, and undying love for her family was flowing throughout our family. Spending time with your family is priceless. I thank God for my family. I am truly blessed.
During the week, I took a gazillion pictures! LOL. I posted a few on social media but they barely scratched the surface on what happened and what we did. We hung out together, ate, drank, played together, and shared stories. We truly enjoyed the company of each other. Here's a "few" of the gazillion pictures...
There was about 30 of us so we occupied the "compound" of the all 3 houses. Each house had like 7 bedrooms and could accommodate nearly 50 people. Urchin Manor...our home away from home. We also stayed here on a family vacation in 2012.
House 1
House 2
House 3
I took a few pictures in the house where I was. It's spacious and comfortable.
The view from my second floor balcony
You look down and see the pool and jacuzzi to our house
The ocean was just 300 yards away
The view from my balcony to the house next door where my cousins were
Poolside fun
Deion and Skyler at the beach
Skyler, Brayden (my nephew), and me
Chillin and watching the NBA Finals game 5. The Warriors won the title
Skyler poses outside the Old Oyster Factory
Kameron is chillin...
I was on lifeguard duty
We also celebrated Deion's graduation...
My mom and Skyler
My mom and my Aunt Ruth
The fam...Kameron, Brandon, Sherice, Skyler, Deion, & me
my beautiful family
These four helped me make me the man that I am today. My aunts, Louise and Ruth...my uncle Don Don, and my mom. Also, my uncles Sonny & Ronnie who are no longer with us...but I carry them with me in my heart
My "little" cousin Lucky & his girlfriend Kate. My cousin Aja & her husband Andrew and their kids...Jamison & Kellen and Uncle Don Don. Not pictured...my other "little" cousin Donald who came the next day after we took these pictures. Also not pictured is my Aunt Maribel who left town the day that we took pictures.
Andrew, Aja, Jamison, and Kellen
Andrew, Aja, Jamison, Kellen, and their cousin Shawn
My Aunt Louise and her sons...Mike and Eric. Mike's girlfriend Sharon & Eric's wife, Angie
Aunt Louise and her grandkids...Mike's daughter Megan (2nd from left) and Eric's twin daughters, Kaitlyn & Laihlah and son, Arin
My brother, Damon, and his wife Johnya and their kids...Tyler, Brayden, and Taylor
The next generation...Deion is the oldest of this bunch. They will carry on our family legacy.
The second generation...Eric, Damon, Uncle Don Don, me, and Mike.
When we finished taking pictures, my uncle asked that we stand in a circle and hold hands as a family. He asked Mike to play Amazing Grace on the saxophone. He reminded us that we were standing not many miles south from where our ancestors had been brought to be slaves. He encouraged the younger ones to be the best they can be and to never forget where they came from. We are proud heritage of people. We are survivors. Greatness is within us. More importantly...WE ARE FAMILY.
It's official...
I am the parent of a high school graduate.
Damn...I feel old. (lol)
My oldest child, Deion, graduated from high school on May 26th. I'd like to thank everybody who commented on my social media pages with well wishes for him. I really do appreciate it.
I would also like to thank all of my family who came to celebrate with us. We had a lot of family that came from out of town to honor Deion. I'm very thankful for that. I was glad my parents and my in-laws, my brother and his family, my cousins as well as all of our family and friends could make it. It was a joyous occasion.
A week before graduation, I told Deion that I wanted him to "savor the moment" of graduation. I wanted him to enjoy it all. I reminded him that you only graduate from high school once...so live it up. I told him about the day that I graduated from high school. It was June 7, 1991. It was a great day. Graduation was cool. But I really didn't cherish it like I should have. I was ready to rush off to college. I appreciate it much more now. But if I could re-live that day, I'd savor everything and cherish some of the people who took that journey with me. I didn't want him to have the same regret that I had.
Deion had a lot to be proud of. Not only did he graduate from one of the best high schools in the county and metro Atlanta, but they accomplished a great deal. They graduated 99% of their senior class, 98% of the students would be headed to college, and they had been awarded over 15 million dollars in college scholarships. Honestly, that doesn't happen at most high schools...nor does it happen at an all black high school (which his was)...but it did. As a class, they have a great deal to be proud of.
I would be remiss if I didn't thank the village that helped my wife and I with Deion. Especially the grandparents. My in-laws, who live 5 minutes from our house, have always been incredible and helpful. I don't know where we would be without them. My parents live in South Carolina but they did a lot for us as well. I remember when Deion was in the 11th grade my mom made a 4 hr drive on a Sunday from South Carolina to our house...just to help Deion study for a test. I had no idea that she was coming. She just popped up at my house. I was shocked. She stayed for 2 hours...then drove back to South Carolina. I wanted her to stay but she said she had to go. While I thought it was crazy to come that far, it spoke volumes about how much she loves him. Deion is the first grandchild on both sides.
I am extremely proud of the kid. I think the some of the fussing that I did over the past 4 years have paid off. LOL.
Here are a few of the thousand pictures that were taken over the weekend...
The graduation was held at the Georgia World Congress Center
Deion with his brothers and his cousins. When I looked at this picture, I realized that we'll be going to high school graduations for the next 10 years. LOL. Deion is the oldest of his siblings and cousins. But it seems like there was a child born on both sides of his family every year after him.
Deion with my niece Taylor.
Party at the crib...we had a graduation party for Deion on Saturday (May 27th). We had about 70 friends and family attend the party. I threw some food on the grill as well
graduation cake
Chillin with my mom
The fam...Kameron (rising sophomore), Brandon (rising 5th grader), Skyler (rising 1st grader), Sherice & me
throwback videos...a few days before graduation, I pulled out some video tapes. The video tapes were labeled "Deion...the early years". I hadn't watched them in over 10 years. So, I decided to watch them. When I saw this little kid, it made me realize how much time had passed. It also reminded me of how this little boy changed my life forever. I watched videos of him when he could barely walk. Then I saw a video of us playing catch in the park. This was when it was just me, him, and Sherice. When I saw that little boy who loved playing catch...I went back to that moment. Although I was watching this video with nobody else in the house, somebody started cutting onions in the room...
you did it...this was my favorite picture that we took. I told him that I loved him and that I was proud of him. I told him that this was the first of many graduations. I hugged him and had a flashback to the day that he was born. The doctor handed him to me and asked me what his name would be. Without hesitation, I said...Deion. Life goes by so fast. But in that one moment...that one embrace...it was August 9, 1999 again.
College awaits in the fall. But right now, the high school graduate has made his father proud.
And old...but that's ok, LOL
I read this article the other day and found it to be compelling...yet truthful...and DIFFICULT. However, I think most of us can try a few of these...
What makes someone uncomfortable depends on the person, but what's universally true is the value of recognizing boundaries and continually pushing them.
As Quora user Joos Meyer explains in response to the question, "What uncomfortable things such as cold showers can improve your life?" pushing your comfort zone is the key to self-improvement.
"I think the best methodology is to every day or week set a task or find a situation that makes you slightly uncomfortable. Do that thing. This will incorporate the experience into your model of 'normality' and hence expand your 'comfort zone,'" he writes.
Here are some uncomfortable things that other Quora users say have helped them grow:
1. Question everything
"The most uncomfortable thing one can do is to question everything that is taken for granted and seek answers," writes Malli Gurram. "Try to see the other side of the norm."
2. Be 100% honest
Being the most honest you've ever been with someone in your life will be one of the most uncomfortable things you can do, Ryan Brown says, but it could also be the most valuable.
To do this, he suggests writing a list of all the people to whom you have something — good or bad — to say, writing down the honest feelings you need to convey to them in a letter, handing the person the letter, and writing down what happened and how the experience affected you and the other person.
"If you're being really honest, each letter you write should make you quite emotional as you are writing it," Brown writes. "That is how you know you have tapped into your actual emotions and feelings — that it actually means something to you."
"Don't forget what you have learned from the experience," he suggests. "Let it be with you forever."
3. Meditate
Oftentimes, slowing down and finding inner calm can be especially difficult for those of us who are constantly on the go and thinking of the next things we need to do.
But as Nathan Hershey points out, the benefits can include enhancing your cognitive capacity, emotional intelligence, and overall self-discipline.
4. Wake up extremely early
Ekin Öcalan loves to wake up before sunrise because it provides the perfect study-and-work environment. Waking at 5 a.m., while everyone else sleeps, is the perfect, albeit challenging, way to begin the day in silence, he writes.
5. Do something creative
"Many people say they want to be creative. Then they go home and binge watch TV episodes on Netflix while drinking red wine," Mark Toole writes.
While fear of rejection and failure are powerful demotivators, having a creative outlet can do wonders for our bodies and minds. What's more, "keeping your work to yourself also guarantees that nobody else will ever love it," Toole notes.
6. Watch your pennies
Keep track of every penny you spend, from auto repairs and life insurance to coffee and french fries, for several months, suggests Bruce A McIntyre.
And try paying for everything you can with cash. "If you have to reach in your wallet and pull out cash, you will often think twice about how much you need something."
You'd be surprised how much debt you can pay off when you literally watch your pennies.
7. Volunteer
Gurram suggests volunteering for a nonprofit or doing selfless deeds. Volunteering can make you feel like you're part of something big, Gurram says, using volunteer experience with TEDx as an example.
"It was such an overwhelming feeling I had on the big day, being part of the community," Gurram says.
8. Track what you eat
Keeping track of all the food you eat and all the exercise you do in a day can be challenging, but Tina Marshall says using her MyFitnessPal app helped her see the harm she was doing to her body.
"I didn't realize how little of some nutrients I was getting and how much sugar and fat I was getting daily until I started to do this regularly," she writes.
9. Eat only nutritious food
After you track your food, start eating only what is truly nutritious — Doug Whitney says this will change your life forever.
"The short answer here is to prepare your own food, eat organic as much as possible — yes, it's expensive, but it's cheaper than the medical bills and lost performance — focus on lean meats and veggies, avoid grains (they're disastrous for most of us), and when you do eat something that isn't good for you, notice the difference in how you feel. This is key!"
He says this will be uncomfortable for a number of reasons: It's hard; it's socially limiting; it can be more expensive if you are used to eating off the dollar menu; it's not as tasty when you start, and it takes more time.
But he says the outcome is 100% worth the effort. "Being a weird health nut and outperforming everyone else is so much more fun than blending in — and that's not just athletically. It's mentally as well."
10. Practice public speaking
It may be scary to think about, but you never know when you may be called upon to speak in public. Practice, while daunting, is the key to improving your communication skills.
Gurram recommends joining a nearby Toastmasters group or an improv group in your city: "It's scary as hell until you realize that everyone around you feels the same."
11. Talk to someone new
"See someone you're interested in? Go talk to them," Toole suggests. "The worst that can happen is an epically catastrophic rejection, which gives you something funny to talk about. That and increased confidence in your abilities next time."
12. Leave your phone in your pocket
"How many times have you checked your phone while reading this? The last time you were at a restaurant or bar, how many times did you pull out your phone to look something up?" Toole asks.
There's something to be said of taking a digital detox and allowing our minds to wander. Rather than reaching for our phones when we're bored, research suggests that leaning into boredom can help make us more productive, goal-oriented, and creative.
Plus, it's just good manners when you're in social settings.
13. Pick just one thing to master at a time
Your approach to self-betterment might be trying as many things as possible and seeing what works. But Rob Hanna says using the opposite tactic, though uncomfortable, is key.
"Intention is the key to mastery," Hanna writes. He explains this requires calling your shots and hitting them.
"The problem with most improvement seekers in life is that they really don't know what they're looking for, and then they keep casting about capriciously for the next new thing."
If you're constantly changing interests, he says, you're never going to discover your own internal progress. "So pick one thing and become progressively committed to mastering it. It doesn't matter what it is, anything will do, as long as you do."
14. Accomplish an almost impossible goal
The most uncomfortable thing you can do, according to Rizwan Aseem, is to set and achieve a goal that's harder than something you've ever done before.
To do that, he suggests you think about a thing you're comfortable doing every day and amplify it until you get to a point where you become really scared of doing it. If you run a mile every day, the idea of running seven might terrify you. Set this as your one-year goal.
"The hardest part is to actually go out there and take the actions steps that will help you achieve this goal," he writes.
"You will have to use all your mental and physical strength to actually get yourself to achieve this goal. But here's the thing: Something very cool happens in your mind, your physiology, your internal makeup when you actually do this. You become invincible. You will be able to set any goal for yourself and then achieve it."
15. Seek help
"I think the most uncomfortable yet healthy thing you can do is go to therapy," writes Sam Ham. "There, those defenses you've been utilizing for years, or perhaps decades, may be exposed, and it can be incredibly difficult to realize that you (and those you love or hate) are not necessarily who you thought."
As Business Insider previously reported, roughly one in every five Americans, or about 43 million people, suffers from mental illness, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. About 60% of us received no treatment in the past. With cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), people start to change their thoughts, which in turn can cause behavior changes.
"Learning that you, and those around you, are not so black and white and absolute can be, at the very least, uncomfortable and disorienting. And practicing awareness, acceptance, and forgiveness can be a rigorous and exhausting chore," Ham writes. "But damn, it's so worth it."
I rant about the things that I think we ALL should dislike about social media...
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Last week, I stopped by the set of the podcast, Is The Mic Still On, and sat in with my boys from Dead End Hip Hop (Beezy, Myke, & Ken...Feefo & Rod were not there) to talk about: the male Romper trend & other fashion trends, engagement advice, and the Bow Wow Challenge. It was pure comedy. Shoutout to Jay Burritos (Runaway Jukebox) for the production. Listen & let me know what you think.
