Tuesday, April 1, 2008

A Conversation Over Dinner

I had a dream about a week ago that I was having breakfast with my maternal grandmother. Her name was Gladys but we all called her Granny. I don't remember much from the dream. I just remember her laughing with me and she was drinking coffee. If you ask anybody who knew her, they'd say that she was one of the sweetest people to ever walk on Earth. No lie. She was a special lady. She grew up in South Carolina. Her parents and grandparents were slaves. At an early age, she picked cotton and share cropped as well. She also worked as a domestic. She did all of this on an elementary school education. She and my grandfather raised 6 kids in the segregated south. She was a very special lady. She died in 1979. I was only 6 yrs old at the time. I have fond memories of her but I know more about her now than I did at 6. If I could, I'd love to sit down with her and have a conversation. There'd be sooooo much to talk about. And so little time.

If you had the opportunity to have a conversation over dinner with someone, who would it be? A relative? Someone famous? Someone who is deceased? What would you talk about?

The floor is yours...


Brad said...

That's a pretty easy one. It would be my Dad. He passed away when I was 15 years old. My Dad was a character for real. Huge sense of humor. He wasn't a scholar but he knew a whole lot about a whole lot. LOL Everybody that knew him was very fond of him. he died way too young. The thing I'd like to do most is have a mature adult conversation with him. When he was passed I was a young semi-rebellious teenager. And since Dad was kinda strict about the rules to his house.....we clashed a lot. But I never told him I loved him or anything like that. That's what that adult conversation would be about. Dad and I never expressed emotions between each other. But he was a good father and role model.

Because of that, I tell my boys every chance I get that I love them. Just so they hear it coming from me and so they know that a man can share his heart with his children.

Eb the Celeb said...

If I could have dinner with anyone deceased it would be my grandfather JW. He died when I was 13 years old. He was my world. I love that man so much. I was his little granddaughter and he would do anything for me. spoiled me to a pulp. Him and my grandmother got separated shortly before he died. First they slept in separate rooms in the house and then finally he just moved out. They were in their 60's. Til this day I want to ask him what went wrong in their relationship. I mean after all those years, what about love wasnt there anymore for him to just give up. I know my grandmother was a mean old buzzard. Hell she still is and still going strong at 77.

I just miss him so much. Everytime something in high school or college went wrong and knew that it would have been all better if he was alive. I think I am a stronger person because he's not here because he would probably still be babying me if he was alive and I would love every minute of it.

Also he refused to retire. He was a city worker and had a heartattack in one of the trucks. I want to know what his last moments were like. He was such a sweet man, and a peaceful soul, and the doctors said he didnt suffer, but how the heck could they really know that. I just want to make sure that he went in peace.

RIP GRANDDAD JW - you will forever be missed!

Trish said...

It would be my DADDY !
He passed away in 2000.
I would just love to take a walk with him and talk about all that
has gone on in my life up to the present time.
About my lack of true relationship with my Mom and ask what his advice would be.
Then I'd want to joke and laugh with him as we used too and lastly dance with him because I never got
to dance with him at my wedding.

Tabu said...

This is a no brainer for me.

My best friend Kay. She took her life almost 5 years ago.

I want to know why. Just one question, well maybe 2. Why she did it, and why that way.

The Jaded NYer said...

my grandma of course (gone 9 years now). I'd ask for all her recipes, rest my head in her lap so she could brush my hair one last time, and let her tell me stories like when I was a kid. Just one last time.

and maybe also Trujillo (Dom. dictator), maybe even Hitler (and why not- Castro, cause you know that fool ain't alive!) and just ask them What The Hell? What crawled up your butt? Why so much blood on your hands?

Opinionated Diva said...

wow @ Tabu! I'd want to know as well.

Without a doubt the person I would love to see one more time is my favorite Grandmother - Grandma Kate.

She was the epitome of the perfect grandmother. Today's generation of grandmothers are too busy trying to preserve their youth, but my grandmother was real old school. I don't care what time you came to her house...the first thing out of her mouth was - You hungry?

She made the best EVERYTHING. There are certain things she'd cook (ribs for one), that I will not eat from anyone - not even my own momma.

You'd eat and she'd sit and talk to you in her thick Alabama backwoods and Floridian accent. I miss that woman.

Queen of My Castle said...

It would most def be both my maternal and paternal grandmothers. I didn't really know my maternal grandmother, she died when I was just a little girl.

My paternal grandmother was the bomb! She was fiesty as heck and could throw down in the kitchen. She was sweet as pie. I remember her laugh and her smile that was like a signal that everything was gonna be okay. I loved her to bits.

Wow Kyle, your granny seemed quite interesting. I would love to hear her stories. I think too many of us are slowly forgetting how much it took for us to get where we are as a people, and maybe if we were reminded we would make such asses of ourselves.

What?! You mean Rezidl hasn't been in this piece for 2 days?! Has he started his own blog yet? LOL. It's all love babes. Kisses!!

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

i would talk to my dad. he passed when i was 5. i have this love/hate thing about everyone who talks to me about their memories with him because there are so many people...and i only have a few. most of which are vague and fuzzy. only 2 are crystal clear. i am the spitting image of him which i find funny now that i'm grown (and a woman). and i wish i could see what type of relationship we'd have because EVERYONE tells me how much alike we are-things that never mattered to me as a kid...he was just super-man to me.

Sexxy Luv said...

It would have to be my father.
He passed away in 2005.
I always wonder if he knew I forgave him for his mistakes.

Jackie Edwards said...

I would have dinner with both of my grandmothers whom I never really knew. I used to visit my maternal grandmother in Jamaica every summer when I was younger but I don't remember very much and because the woman who my mother is is so outstanding, I would love to talk at length with the woman who molded here. My paternal grandmother was someone I think I met once or twice on visits to Jamaica but I definitely don't remember her other than in pictures. I would love to know who she was and what she was about.

L. Renee' said...

This is a very interesting post 12Kyle.

I would definitely have dinner with my grandmother again. This woman was a mother and a bestfriend to me. She told the funniest stories and had to act them out. I definitely got my gift of dramatic interpretation from her. I would love to show her pictures of my wedding and my children. I would love to feel her soft hands on my cheeks. Most of all, I just want to absorb her smell when she hugs me. Whenever I go to Macy's.. I always go to the Estee Lauder counter just so I can smell her scent again.

Anonymous said...

There are plenty of people I would love to have some thought-provoking, mind-rummaging conversations with. However, I would really like to sit down and have an honest 20/20 session with my paternal grandmother.

She is still alive, almost hitting 90. I want to ask her why did she lie to my father's father about him being her son? My father is the splitting image of his father and those genes...ooohwhee. I would ask her why she was the driving force of why she made him out to be the bad guy for more than 40 years.

Anonymous said...

*ooops* I meant "why did she lie to my father's father about him being HIS son?"

Don said...

Thought-provoking post.

I want to say my deceased father. I was only 9 when he died. I wonder what he was really like. Then, I want to say his mother. The only woman I have ever known to be 100% good and gentle. At least to me, she was.

But I'd have to share a conversation with Tupac Shakur. I'd have to know if he was as real as I think he was. Then I would ask him, "Why he didn't learn from his lessons?"

He had the ability to become so much more than a rapper.

Don said...

And I know what readers are thinking...Tupac Shakur?!

Yeah, Tupac Shakur.

Rezidl said...

....would like to sit with my Grandmother in Brooklyn who died from "the sugar" when I was 7yrs. She was hard and mean to everyone else but me. Probably why I migrate to stern hard nosed people now.

....Don, I feel you on Tupac. I'd like to sit with Mike Tyson. I believe Mike is way smarter than 90% of the people he meets. He's seen the world from every angle.

....Also, like to interact with some of the EARLY slaves in this country. Really witness that pain, struggle, inner strength and pride. Sure it would be powerful to witness given what I see today.

Rezidl said...

...LOL....Queen, I just read your post. Funny....no blogs for me, Lady. If I do, I'm sure you'll come through to heckle...:)

TravelDiva said...

My maternal grandfather. He died before I was born, but I've heard so much about him that I know I would love him; and it would be an opportunity to be with someone who meant the world to my mom and grandmother. I would imagine we would talk about everything, the family, the afterlife.

dejanae said...

my great grandpappy.lol
wanna ask the man why he was so damn mad all the time
he died when i was young
but from what i hear, he wasnt the easiest fellow to get along with. I'd wanna find out the root of his friggin issues
then we can go out for some KFC

swag_ambassador said...

Probably my uncle. He passed back in 05, and it was crazy how it happened. I wasnt home, so I never got a chance to see his last days at the hospital. U never forget where and what you were doing when you find out a family member has passed.. surreal... but I would wanna just spend some time with him, talk some more, experience that presence. He used to pick me up when I was in kindergarten and take me for a haircut and some mcdonalds, classic times..

!*!*!*!*!Fresh and Fab!*!*!*!*! said...

oh, my grandad, he is the only 1 ive really experienced death with. i loved him so much, he was so so laid back, some1 i wanted to be like,

rip grandad

12kyle said...

Thanks for your participation and the feedback at the 12th Planet.

Normally, I would respond to each of you but today's topic is so personal for all of us that I would rather let your comments stand alone.

The one thing that I've learned is that we should always cherish those that are close to us. They can be taken from us at any given moment. None of us is promised to see tomorrow.

I think Queen made a good point. I'm going to look into my family's history. I'll make sure that I teach it to my boys. We've come a long way...but we still have a long way to go


Still_Pocahontaz said...

Im definitely going to join the masses and say my Granny, she passed away in August of 2001.

I would have so many questions, I don’t even nowhere to start. On another note, I would just love to enjoy the time with her and ask her if she is proud of me.

Mizrepresent said...

I have those same type of dreams about my dad. WE would be laughing and talking, and then i would remember that he really isn't here, or question that fact even in the dream, but our times would be so good, and i always wake up smiling. The answer - my dad, and we would talk about how we should have spent more time together, how i let the college life, and getting married keep me away from him for such a long time, how i now cherish our memories, and love the great man that he was, and i would thank him for showing me what a real and good man is, not a perfect man mind you, but good.

Hadassah said...

I do not want to sound corny or anything but i would have a conversation with JC, The conversation would definitely b about life in general and what I am going through and stuff.

My late grandfather from my Dad's side he died way before I was born and it would be good to have conversation on the expectations he would want for his family and know more about him, what kind of person he is.