Wednesday, April 16, 2008


November 7,1991

I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was a fresh-MAN at SOUTH CAROLINA STATE UNIVERSITY. It was almost 6pm. I had just finished football practice when I made my way to the dorm. I heard somebody say "____ has AIDS".

My reply was "Man, don't say shit like that. You'll end up starting a nasty rumor."

It took a few mins to make my way to the 3rd floor to my room. When I got upstairs, a few of my teammates looked very sad. I dunno why but I headed to my room. I turned the tv on to watch the news. And it happened.


I saw Magic Johnson on tv and he was announcing that he had HIV and would be retiring from the NBA. WHAT? Are you kiddin me? Magic wasn't gay. How could this be? I'll admit that I wasn't a HUGE fan of his b/c I was a Michael Jordan fan. But I gave Magic his props b/c he was a winner...just like me. Keep in mind that in 1991, we thought that this would be the last time that we saw him on tv. HIV would kill him within 2 yrs. That's what we thought. Well, it's almost been 17yrs and Magic is healthy and living with HIV. I remember seeing some dudes CRYING when they heard the news. As the word spread throughout our campus, we all were concerned about our own vulnerability.

I remember vowing to never have unprotected sex (aka do it no matter what. Not only did I pledge it. Many of you did, too. And if you're reading this right now and HAVEN'T had unprotected tellin' a DAMN LIE!!! LMAO!!!

Sexual irresponsibility has run rampant amongst teens and young adults, a behavior that is displayed in music, movies, on TV and throughout society. Whether it's not using protection, not getting check-ups, not being tested or having lack of knowledge on STDs and how to catch them, this level of irresponsibility is on the rise.The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) provides the following staggering statistics on the rate of HIV/AIDS and STD infection: Over 19 million new sexually transmitted infections occur each year among all age groups, with the highest infection rate among young African-American Women.

Although African-Americans make up only 13% of the U.S. population, we account for more than 49% of HIV/AIDS cases. AIDS is the leading cause of death for Black women ages 25 to 34, and the second leading cause of death for Black men ages 35-44.

Of all Black women living with HIV/AIDS, the primary transmission category was high-risk heterosexual contact (74%), followed by injection drug use. Of Black men, the primary category was male-to-male sexual contact (48%).

You are becoming infected with HIV and other STDs at alarming rates. You have to think about the fact that when you are having sex, you can get little tears in the lining of your vagina, which makes the transmission of diseases and infections from a man to a woman extremely high. We've got to do a better job of cherishing our bodies.

There are several men out there who are leading dual sexual lifestyles, which can increase his chances for infections. Make that man use a condom. Better yet, keep your own stash of male and female condoms, so if he gives you a problem about wrapping it up, you can handle your own business and protect yourself.

You saw the stats above. One thing to know is that the majority of these women are catching these infections from heterosexual relationships. You are carriers of several infections that may lie dormant in your system, but are easily transmitted. And although the chances are slightly slimmer, you can catch these infections from women. Use a condom! This choice is not that difficult. If you are concerned about lack of sensation, use an ultra sensitive, ribbed, or dual pleasure Life Styles condom. There are too many choices and not enough reasons not to wrap it up!

Think about this…when you have unprotected sex with someone you are giving that person the ultimate level of trust. This is the same person that you wouldn't leave alone in your house or you wouldn't let drive your new BMW, but you are allowing them to possibly dictate how you live the rest of your life, whether it will be a life of fighting HIV, living with an incurable STD, or possibly having a child with them when you didn't even want to call them the next day. This is crazy!

There are a lot of smart people making dumb decisions about their health, decisions that are literally killing them. What has to happen for us to get smart about the situation? A few minutes of pleasure can lead to a lifetime of pain.

Protect yourself:Get Check-ups
Way too often, the only time we visit the doctor is if we are feeling sick or notice something is wrong - or we tend to skip the doctor and just diagnose ourselves. Our doctor visits need to be more proactive than reactive. Again, many infections and diseases lie dormant in our system and we do not find out about them until it's too late. Be responsible to yourself and make sure you are straight.

How responsible have YOU been? Have YOU been tested? Has your man/woman been tested? Are you STILL careless in bed? Holla bakkkk.


i.can't.complain. said...

i was terribly irresponsible in my 1st (and only) serious relationship

hence the kid.

i knew it was wrong not to use a condom, but it was just something i did

stupid, i know.

i remember the 1st time i got an hiv test.

he had made me mad about something. given me a reason not to trust him

i figured i would die from heart failure or an anxiety attack long before the results came back.

thank God the tests have always been negative.

in my other sexual relationships ive been more than careful.

sex is cool

but it certainly isn't worth dying for

or ending up on a valtrex commerical.


Mizrepresent said...

Excellent topic 12kyle...i've been wreckless in the past...but not anymore.

tests have been negative...but i'm told you should continue to i will abide

sho do miss the raw though, lol!

have a great day! On the road again!

Anonymous said...

This is a good topic, especially since I was just reading on it yesterday in Febs. Essence.

Though we know all the facts and stats, we still get caught up in the moment where we just can't seem to think straight.

I do tell people that there's not going to be any play until I see some paperwork. The sad thing takes 90 days for HIV to show up. You can do a whole lot of damage in 90 days.

The Jaded NYer said...

um, yeah, I got pregnant at 19, so you tell me if I was using a condom...

I was tested 2X (once for each pregnancy) but never actively went out and had a test- just the regular Pap smear I'm s'posed to get that checks for other STDs n stuff.

See- now I'm all shook...

*goes to make an appointment with doc*

12kyle said...

@ -1-
It's funny that you say that. One of my boys always talks about the stress that he goes through while waiting on the test results.

@ Miz
LMAO @ u "missing the raw"

@ Jewells
Can't blame u for that. It's very dangerous out here

@ Jaded NYer
Not tryna scare anybody...just inform. I remember that day when it happened to Magic. I had never seen any straight man with HIV. That REALLY scared the HELL outta me. I was 18 and thinking..."Damn, is this what life is gonna be like?"

Brad said...

HIV is real and it's here. (although I believe there is a cure). It's really a factor of 2 things education in our community and the environment in which our youth are having sex.

Education: We don't have adequate sex ed programs in our urban communities. And the parents are certainly not talking to our children nearly enough.

Environment: So many of our kids today are having sex parties or doing it with older boys in the back of 87 Buick Regals. in these situations safe sex is certainly an afterthought.

When I was young I definitely wasn't as careful as I should be. I was lucky for real. I had 1 girlfriend throughout college which may have saved my life for real.

Eb the Celeb said...

Ok... its wed... wed is suppose to be about sports... and dont say it is just because you mentioned magic... this damn post is about STD's....

I am sitting over here pouting right now because I WANT MY DAMN WED> SPORTS POST...

Ok, now I digress and will answer the stupid questions about HIV instead of smiling about the sports questions that should have been here...ugh!

How responsible have YOU been?
I think I have been extremely responsible. I have only went wrong dawg with 1 person and it was kinda hard not to at times because we lived together. Everything was so convenient. The thing is it wasnt so smart since he was dipping out on me, and wasnt always using protection when he dipped out, so my decision with the person I did decide to go there with still wasnt so smart.

Have YOU been tested?
Several times. I usually try to get it done every other year. My last time was around this time last year so spring 2009 will see me again.

Has your man/woman been tested?
I dont have a man... (sigh)

Are you STILL careless in bed?
Never have been and never will be.

You should have asked if anyone has had an STD before. I think almost everyone has but they are just afraid to admit it... but we dont need to be afraid to talk about those things. Most of them are cureable and sometimes we need to talk about what we did to attract the cureable ones to change our habits so that we dont do the same things and contract something that has no cure.

Queen of My Castle said...

Great topic, unfortunately one that too many of us care not to listen/read about. I won't've stated enough facts to get a coherent point across. I get tested twice per year, even when I have not been active and am sure to always use protection.

Blah Blah Blah said...

Dude and I went to the doc together...I had to make sure. I go get a test every 6 months...and him, well I didn't know so I had to make sure.

I'm really careful about my sunshine...I know my gyno is sick of seeing me because I am like her new BFF...always up in that chicks spot with my legs

Good post.

PRO said...

I'm calling you the "PSA Planet" from hence forth! Dang, it's just a little irritation... Not even full out yeast. I'm straight now that I've figured out the culprit. You ain't have to go put me and my post on blast like this. LMAO. Betweeen having three kids which consisted of numerous GYN visits, and keeping myself tested prior to pregnancy, I have a "decent and in order" bill of health. It's nice to be reminded though.


karrie b. said...

everyone has these slip-ups. i'll admit i did when i 1st started but i think it's quite silly this day and age to NOT protect urself. AIDS/HIV? over minutes of pleasure? not cute.


PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

preach it!

i used to volunteer with an HIV/AIDS prevention center. and even though i'm married (as if it even matters these days with all of the crazed cheaters out here), i get tested every year. i always felt like, how can i encourage others to do so if i don't...regardless of my marital status. but like i said, some married folks wake up positive due to some unknowing sneaking and creeping so, i STILL must do me regarding my health

12kyle said...

@ Brad
Education is the key. The days of telling a kid "don't have sex" are long gone. We can't afford to do that anymore.

lol @ 87 Buick

side note...Rezidl is in town. He just hit me up. We are gonna hang out tonight and party like rock starz. LOL

@ Eb the Celeb
You wanna talk sports, huh? Well...the Hawks made the playoffs! There ya go! LOL

Good post. I'm not gonna ask if anyone has an STD. If they do, I'm sure that they'll share.

@ Queen
Getting tested yearly is very responsible. That's what we all should do

@ Blah Blah Blah
Getting your man to go is HUGE...believe it or not. We tend to stay away from dr's.

"Allow me to re-introduce myself...mah name is HOV!!!" -Jigga (PSA) lol

@ karrie b
Soooo true! It's not worth it.

Trish said...

Ive only been tested 3 times some years ago.
I was careless back in the day with allowing dudes to go raw.

Haven't felt the need to be tested in the past 5 years cause Ive been married. Although that is definitely not an excuse not to get tested.

I do agree with Brad about the Education... I can remember Health class in Jr. High. which was really sex education.
My understanding is that in most schools today there is no Sex education at all.

I can even remember in elementary school the nurse would hand out little booklets to the girls that gave information about getting your period for the first time.

Theres no more of that. Along with talking to them, I had to purchase books on the internet to give to my little neices about their growing bodies and getting their periods.

PrettyBlack said...

This one hits close to home I could write a book on it right now but you have said enough. Each one teach one. I watch HIV effect my sissy's life everyday. 12 years with the shit and although you don't die from it like you used to it kills you slowly everyday.

Wear a muthafuckin' rubber people...ain't no dick, wet-n-wild, negro or chick, worth that.

PrettyBlack said...

Oh and just to let you know if you think you have been exposed to it within 48 hours they can start you on a regimen that will stop the spread of the infection.

But you MUST get to your healthcare provider before 48 hours to be protected.

12kyle said...

This is very true. Just b/c we're married we can't assume anything

@ Trish
Speaking of sex ed...I'm gonna share a lil secret with y'all.

I took the sex ed class when I was at SOUTH CAROLINA STATE.

Got a "C"

Aint that a bych???

@ PrettyBlack
Sorry to hear about your sister. I'm sure that she struggles with it.

lmao @ you
"wet and wild negro"

MsPuddin said...

Thanks for this...I think we need sex ed in every elementary, middle and high school. I'm educated and even I slip up sometimes, from learning what I should known a long time ago, now...

Brad said...

Yo CBW, you and Rezidl party up for me too. Imma play the crib bruh.

And you know the 87 Buick is the official Baby Daddy car of the ATL.

L. Renee' said...

This is a great topic 12Kyle.
Not to many people feel comfortable talking about HIV/AIDS.
I have lost three people to this disease. To see someone that you love deteriorate right before your eyes is truly unforgettable. Have you ever seen that movie "Scared Straight"? Well, that experience definitely scared me straight.

BTW..You and Rezidl keep it cool in Hotlanta. (smile)

Brown Girl Gumbo said...

So many of us are so careless when it comes to safe sex.

Those stats are sad and startling.

Great call-to-action post!

The F$%K it List said...

WHOO HOO Orangeburg! My mother is from there!

Ok on to the post I know one too many people who have woke up too late about what AIDS is doing in our community and unfortunately to them. This downlow life style is a huge part of it.

Before I was married we went regularly to be tested and when I was pregnant I was tested and made him go as well. I don't throw the dice with my life and I expect the same from my partner.

12kyle said...

@ Brad
Mannn, you aint neva lied!!! 87 Buick's are classic

Me and Rezidl will hit it hard but not too hard. I have to go to work tomorrow and he's "supposed to be here on business" lol

@ LRenee
Before its all said and done...we'll all have someone close to us die from AIDS

You know how we act when we get together. Just like 18 year olds. LOL

Thanks. I hope I've helped someone

@ The F$%K it List
Nuffin betta than da 'Burg!!!

I hear you. That's the way that its 'sposed to be!

Anonymous said...

Man the scary thing about the going raw is raw. Man I been going raw for years and pulling out in time. Never got anyone pregant yet that I know of. I get tested twice a year. I ma more responsible now but there are times where I will push the limit and if I can't I'll use Rosie palm and her 5 sisters.

Anonymous said...

Ok I know I’m late but I just read the blog and I’ll keep it short and sweet.

I must say that I agree with most of the comments that were made especially in reference to education. Education on all levels is just one the keys. I think they should start as early as 5th grade.

Marriage does not mean that you are safe. Get tested. You never know.

Eb the Celeb I am very disappointed and disturbed by your comments today …..

this damn post is about STD's....
I am sitting over here pouting right now because I WANT MY DAMN WED> SPORTS POST...

Ok, now I digress and will answer the stupid questions about HIV instead of smiling about the sports questions that should have been here...ugh!

You will answer the stupid questions about HIV. What kind of person would say that? But that just my opinion.

12kyle said...

@ Anonymous #1
Isn't it funny how sometimes we only worry about whether or not she can get pregnant but not about what we may get from going raw?

lol @ rosie palm

@ Anonymous #2
You made some great points!! Thanks for coming thru

btw...i think eb was joking. i normally devote wednesday's blog to sports. i think she was looking for a sports story. i didn't take her comments seriously. i think she said it in jest.