Thursday, March 20, 2008

Wingmen

Every great pilot needs a good wingman. Nooooo, I'm not talking about navigating an aircraft. I'm talking about being that wingman for your friend who is trying to talk to a woman/man. Your job as the wingman is to "occupy" their friend. As a wingman, you occupy that person's friend by engaging in conversation. Your job is to make sure that their friend doesn't "get in the way of your friend" getting a phone number, date, or more...

One of my favorite wingman stories was when my boy Charles called me to be his wingman one night. I told him that I'd do it. The only question that I had for him..."how does she look?" It's not that I wanted to be with her. I just wanted know if she was cute or not. He said that he didn't know. As we were on our way to see the chick (Tonya), Charles reveals to me that this will be the first time that he has seen this chick. That's problem #1. I asked him how long had he known her and he said that he knew her for a few weeks. They met on the Internet. That's problem # 2. By this time, I'm feeling really uneasy about what's about to take place. Too late to back out b/c we had arrived at Tonya's apartment. She lived with her cousin, Morgan. I was supposed to be Charles' wingman for some random chick who's cousin he's never met before??? It didn't sound good. We met Morgan at the door. She was nice but she was much bigger than what I like. And she wasn't really that attractive either. I'm thinking..."this is horrible. I'm gonna have to be the wingman for a big, unattractive chick?" I could kill Charles. After we got settled in her apartment, Tonya comes out. She looked better than Morgan but she wasn't Sanaa Lathan. I could tell that Charles liked what he saw in Tonya. They went into another room to talk. Leaving me to talk to Morgan. I made the most of it for about 45 mins (felt like 4 hrs). I could tell that Morgan was feeling me but I tried to keep my eyes focused on the NBA game that was on tv. The night ended with me getting buzz on my pager. I told Charles that we had to leave b/c...we had to leave. LOL. In the end, I didn't choke Charles for making me be the wingman for THAT chick. Me and Charles still laugh about that story every now and then.

What's your wingman story? Who's your wingman? Do you have that girl who will occupy a guy that you're trying to talk to. Or do you have a reverse wingman? The reverse wingman is your friend who INTERRUPTS some guy from talking to you. Or the friend who will pull you away from that guy who you're not feeling but he's bought you 5 drinks. Give me your wingman story...

28 comments:

Brad said...

Ahhhhh GREAT TOPIC.

I've both been the wingman and use the services of a great wingman. My boy Al B. is my best wingman. We been doing it for each other for close to 20 years.

Best story: I met this older chick at a club in Marietta. She and I talked for a couple hours and then we talked off and on the next week. Well, she decides she wants to go on a date with me.....but since she didn't know me well she wanted to bring her friend. So I ask Al B. to tag along to play wingman. He goes along with it seeing as how it was is first date in Atlanta. So we get there and my chick introduces them....his chick is well.....different. She's slim and dark and looks a little used up. But he goes along. Long story short.....he tells me later that she had a slight 'odor' while we were at the movie theater (although he kissed her). We quickly took them home. Anyway couple days later my girl wants to come over my house for some fun time...and she wants to bring "stinky". I say Fine. Much Longer story shorter.....No matter what a dudes initial impression of a woman is...mix in a 40 oz.,a woman and a bed and things will happen that you will NEVER forget. To this day he won't let me live down "stinky". But hey I just asked him to occupy her while I got with her friend. Didn't ask him to consumate the relationship.

12kyle said...

Good call, Brad

I've seen AL B run the wingman to perfection! He's a natural

Opinionated Diva said...

Another excellent and interesting topic.

I honestly have never asked a friend to be a "wingman" to get close to someone...I think women are different, but I have used a friend to get away from someone! LOL

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

lol!!! ok so its funny that this had something to do with internet hook-ups, seeing as i blogged about that very topic today...anyhoo...

i was seeing my now husband. but we were in different states at that time. on one of my visits here, he suggested we do a double date with his boy. UGH! i had never met his friend...shoot, i was still getting to know him! but i called on my faithful cousin/wingwoman. she agreed and we were pumped...well, until things were supposed to get started. we were meeting at a restaurant and friend didn't have a car (problem #1). he was stuck somewhere due to train issues and who knew when he would become available, so it became an awkward 3 person outing (problem #2). now hubby decided to call his roommate at the time to sub...never met him either (problem #3). he shows up and couldn't have been more mis-matched. he was just so glossy...and i have issue with hetero guys who are more into their looks than women. and on top of that, he could only sub for a little while because he had his own real date later....so he ended up leaving my cousin stranded with us by herself again. finally at about too-damn-late-so-who-even-cared o'clock...the busted no car-having friend shows up....AND HE WAS A DUD! (i think she was too fab for him cuz he seemed intimidated and just sat across the room watching any given sunday)

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

ooooooooh, i have to share this....cousin got me back tho (kinda).

we were out and she was digging this cutie. his friend was annoying and in the way and he just kind of migrated over to me by chance. i chatted him up to be nice because he was one of those overly-excited guys that keep hanging (literally) on their friends' arms and back, hootin' & hollerin' about the dumbest stuff at all the wrong times. well, this fool ends up talking my cell off of the table and calling himself...therefore stealing my number. he called me 3 days later and invited me over for dinner. i said hmmm, i'll call you back.

a few moments later, i called to see where he wanted to go...he said he was cooking at his place *getting weary & concerned* so i asked what he was gonna cook after i got done lauging and he said he had already cooked it and ate and i could eat once i got there. convo went like this...

PCD...you ate already?

dude: yeah, but there's more

PCD...well that was rude. how are you going to invite me to dinner and eat it befor ei get there? you couldn't have eaten some chips or something to hold you over?

dude: i was hungry!

PCD...well, what in creation did you prepare?

dude: some stew-beef

PCD...what in the bloody hell is a stew-beef? it sounds like a big hunk of meat?!

dude: yeah, it's like some beef that you can make stew out of. and i made some rice-a-roni

PCD...*laughing uncontroolably* THAT isn't even a complete meal! a hunk of meat and some crusty rice? no veggie? and i still am not keen on a STEW BEEF-whatever that is!

dude: well that's what i made...oh, and can you bring a movie when you come?

PCD...*click*

Rezidl said...

Chocolate Boy Wonder....good piece here. I've seen you act as one and used you as wingman myself. Gotta say you're up there with the best...Maverick, Goose, Iceman...all of them.

My friend of 25+ years played the perfect wingman before we both got married. We both occassionally pinch-hit as wingmen for our single friends just for fun.

THE FUNNIEST wingman moment is when he and I were seniors in high school. He'd met this cheerleader from another school one night. So, they decide to go out and he asks me to occupy her friend on a double date. So, we all go out, the friend is whack and not my type, but we make the most of it. We drop the friend home, so my buddy, his new girl and I are alone in the car heading to drop me off. So, the song "Imagination" by Miki Howard came on the radio and I'm in the back seat sitting on the passenger side. I like the song, so I started singing it, not loud, but singing nonetheless..."Imagination isss funny...."....in my zone lost in my thoughts...he peeks at me in the rearview mirror and then he turns up the volume slightly....so, not really paying attention to what his glance meant (to stop singing)I unknowingly sing louder.."...it makes a cloudy day sunny..."...he does it again...so do I. And then he slows the car to a roll, turns off the radio and turns to me and in a calm, voice says.."When you are with your girl you can sing, but when you are with my girl, shut the f*ck up". We all just burst out laughing because the shyt was rediculously funny. This dude will not let me live that down to this day.

Brad said...

@PCD...the second story was funny. But if you didn't like the dude why did you entertain dinner?

It's funny how women and men don't realize when you're only playing the wingman. They really try to get with you. It's happened to me on sevearl occasions. I still play the wingman sometimes even though I'm married. It's actually easier cause my only job is to occupy her time while my boy gets his mac on. No need to discuss much besides the club, weather, or the people around us. But I'm a funny guy so if I can keep her laughing for 20 or 30 mins then my boy can get the job done.

The Jaded NYer said...

Hmmm... I guess I'm my girl Lani's wingman, only because when we're together you can totally see our differences: she'll talk to everybody and be friendly and welcoming and just all-around nice, and I'm giving dudes the side-eye from jump. You could say I'm her Wanda Sikes LOL.

And guys would much rather talk to the nice girl who'll smile and talk to them than the one with the stank-ass attitude who isn't in the mood for anything except the Brooklyn Lager placed before her.

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

@ brad...well, it was more like, he called, i had to figure out who he was....and he was inviting me before any small talk even began. thats why i told him i'd call him back because he was rushing the convo....and being the sweet PCD i am, i WAS going to call him back to tell him thanx, but no thanx....but again, he pushed the convo in another direction before i could get it out....and once he started talking about the food, i just HAD to see what he was talking about cuz i had never heard of such....

12kyle said...

@ Opinionated Diva
If you've asked a friend to help you get away from somebody, then they are your wingman. I know that you use them well. haaa

@ PCD
Funny story! After all of that, you still ended up with your husband. Awwwww. LOL. And the other dude was rude for eating the food without you.

@ Rezidl
Thanks man. I've been a wingman a time or 2. And it's always fun b/c I'm a conversationalist.

That story had me crackin up. I can see you just looking out the window singing yo azz off. LMAO!!!

@ Brad
Its very easy to play the wing man when you're married. I agree with you.

@ Jaded NYer
You mean that you're not cool and sociable??? Say it ain't sooooo!!! LMAO

Rezidl said...

...Brad is on to a good point. The traits of a good wingman.

After two decades my buddy and I have nearly perfected the techniques which include (a la Brad)...1) Keep 'em laughin'....just be funny nukka and stop complaining; 2) Ride it out...just take one for the team just this once, dude, and shut up;
3)It's good to be me....when the friend of the friend turns out to be just as hot as the friend....just be yourself in that situation...and stop complaining, nukka, I hooked you up!

The Jaded NYer said...

I am sociable, I just don't like to get picked up. Sometimes I just want to have a drink without some loser tryna be all up in my face.

And trust me- the dive bar where we hang? L-O-S-E-R-S!! And not a brotha to be found for miles and miles... well, maybe more like blocks and blocks LOL

Rezidl said...

Jaded NYer....yeah, I think I mentioned in another post how I like to watch those dudes walk across the room to you, make the pitch and then crash-n-burn....I saw it on your face when you walked in the door..."I just want a 'tini...nothing more, nothing less."....I also saw his eyes when you walked in the door...."Oh, I'm gon' get that...ain't that right Rashidi...."...LOL

Tabu said...

Can't say I have ever had a wingwoman, but I like the idea.

There are some really interesting (funny) stories here.

12kyle said...

@ Jaded NYer
I feel you. If you've had a bad experience, i really can't blame you.

@ Rezidl
We'd make bets about how long it'd be before she shot him down, too. Classic! Hilarious.

@ Tabu
You should try it. It's a lotta fun. Haaaaa

Kieya said...

I didn't know there was official terminology for that...

I remember once, my friend and I were at this club & we were dancing and she sees this shady dude checking her so she squeezed my hand & said "don't let go no matter what." Of course dude came over & was like "lemme talk to you" and my friend said, "no." So I guess what would be his wingman aka his MUSCLE decided to come over and try to grab her hand away from mine. But what a fool he was for thinking I was just gonna let go. Homeboy really stood there trying to break us apart while his friend was pulling my friends arm. Eventually they left us alone when they realized we weren't budging & I was getting real ignant.

Jackie Edwards said...

I don't think I've ever had a a wing woman...but I've definitely had a girlfriend throw in a couple of "appropriate" or "necessary" comments into a conversation that would be better heard coming from someone else as opposed to myself, so I guess that kinda counts!!!

dejanae said...

lol
thats what u get for not getting all the info up front
no wingman stories here

12kyle said...

@ Kieya
MUSCLE!I like that term. Commonly used on The Wire

@ Jackie Edwards
That definitely counts!

Btw...check yesterday's blog. You made the Baller List (athlete's that you'd like to date)

Also, that blog you did the other day with the facial expressions was hilarious

@ dejanae
You're right. I should have known better. Especially considering that it was my boy Charles. He's had some "suspect" ones. LOL

Brad said...

I think since women get approached way more than they do the approaching they have less of a use for the wingman. They use more of a cockblocker. That girlfriend who see's ya'll vibing but won't give ya'll 3 feet. That girlfriend that is ALWAYS ready to go just as you was about to ask for that email address (who still does numbers?). or that girlfriend that starts saying that SHE'S thirsty so you'll have to buy her and her girl a drink.....all the while you KNOW you only got enough money for 2 more drinks and you MAY have bought you and shawty one. LMAO

I hate them cockblocking chicks with a passion. Get a life.

PrettyBlack said...

Funny stories...Like quagmire said on family guy Kyle, big girls need love too...they just gotta pay for it.

I guess I don't have any stories like that...If I do hell I don't remember.

Don said...

but she wasn't Sanaa Lathan.

...everytime that woman's name is mentioned my heart skips a beat. I'm getting too old for this pure obsession.



I don't think I've ever had a wingman story. I waited to post on this post, cause I tried to think of an instance but I can't. Damn...my baby mom scarred me BAD, bruh. I can no longer remember that far back.

Don said...

@ prettyblack: you neither?

12kyle said...

@ Brad

"I hate them cockblocking chicks with a passion. Get a life."

Classic


@ PrettyBlack
They might need love...just can't get it from me! LOL

@Don
LMAO @ u!!!

PrettyBlack said...

Damn Don...Baby momma must have been pure, scarface, uncut, street value, evil. Why were you with her so long? She must've known the squeeze technique...oops am I giving up my secrets? haha!

Naw I can't ever remember having a wingman...I'm my own co-pilot, if a brother ever had to bring a friend, he needs to go back to playing in the arena leagues cause his ass ain't ready for the big game.

Now since I know Kyle is anti-big girl (like my hubby) everytime he leaves a comment I'm going to think of, "Janet Jackson, more like Freddie Jackson."

Mizrepresent said...

My girls, my sisters are all like my wingman, but i have never quite used them to help me get to a man, because that's just not that hard to do if there is some interest involved...however i have on occassion used them to block somebody...oh and they can come up with all kind of stuff, like, "hey girl, we got to go, it's a emergency...sorry." Now, i got some male friends who i have used to block too. Often times though i have had to tell my male friend to go sit somewhere else if i'm interested in someone bc their presence alone keeps guys from trying to talk...and as soon as they leave...that's when ole boy strolls over and makes his move!

Jeff said...

KD this your boy Jeff Beast Dog. Hey we all been there for our boys at one time or another.
True story I was a wingman for my boy Big Mike. Let me cut through the chase. Big Mike girl wanted to holla at me after she saw how much laughter I was giving to her girl friend who I was occupying.
Anyway you do what you have to do for your boys. Just good fun we can look back and laugh about.

Blah Blah Blah said...

I've never asked any of my friends to coma along on dates... double dating to me is BS>
However, I HAVE BEEN the wing-woman...and it never fails, I get the most busted dudes! Dirty, stinky, broke, toothless, brainless, unattractive...I have ended up with alot of them.
Funny stories, I try to turn them all around and have fun times regardless but...just don't touch me dude!