Monday, June 30, 2008

close tha door pt 2

Men are smarter than women.

Men know everything about sex.

Ok. Maybe those first 2 statements were wrong. Just wanted to get your attention. Haaaaa!

Much like we did before, let's vibe for a minute.

an article from the good folks at WebMd

As men, sometimes we think that we know everything there is to know about having sex with women? The erotic encyclopedia that we carry around in our heads may contain a lot of basic errors and omissions about women's sexuality -- errors that can lead to sex mistakes.

That's because -- after learning the facts of life -- most of us are left to figure out sex for ourselves. Guys tend to take a lot of cues from adult movies, and we all know how true-to-life those are. Experience may help, but many women can be shy when talking about what they like.

To help us with some sex tips, WebMD asked two acclaimed sex
educators, Tristan Taormino and Lou Paget, to tell us what they think
are the most common sex mistakes men make with women.

Sex Mistake No.1: You Know What She Wants

Men often make assumptions about what a woman wants based upon what they've done with other women. But women aren't all the same.

"You develop a repertoire as you mature sexually, but you should never assume that what worked for the last person is going to work for this person," Taormino says.

That applies not only to sexual predilections, but also to relationships, she says. "There are women who can have no-strings-attached sex, and women who can get attached very easily, and then everyone in between."

Sex Mistake No. 2: You Have All She Needs

Some women can't have an orgasm with less than 3,000 rpm. No human tongue or fingers can generate that kind of vibration. But men typically think something is wrong if a woman needs a vibrator.

"If the only way that a woman can achieve orgasm is with a vibrator, she's not broken," Taormino says.

Think of a vibrator as your assistant, not your substitute. Many couples use vibrators together.

"While you're doing one thing, or two things, the vibrator can be doing something else," Taormino says.

Sex Mistake No. 3: Sex Feels the Same for Men and Women

Paget says there tends to be a "huge disconnect" between men and women in the ways that sex feels good.

"When a man has intercourse with a woman, and his penis goes into her body, that sensation is so off the charts for most men, they cannot imagine that it isn't feeling the same way for her," Paget says. "It couldn't be further from the truth."

The inside of the vagina is probably less sensitive than the outer parts for most women. Also, deep thrusting may not feel so nice on the receiving end. If the penis is too long, "it feels like you're getting punched in the stomach," Paget says. "It makes you feel nauseous."

Sex Mistake No. 4: You Know Your Way Around a Woman's Anatomy

Most guys know generally what a clitoris is and where to find it. That's not to say that they really understand it.

More than 30 years ago, at the start of the "sexual revolution," a best-selling book called the Joy of Sex got Americans hip to the orgasmic importance of the clitoris. But the belief that women must be able to orgasm from vaginal penetration stubbornly persists.

"I still get letters from people who say things like, my wife can't[orgasm] from intercourse unless she has clitoral stimulation -- please help," Taormino says. "I want to write back and say, 'OK, what's the problem?'"

"For the majority of women, it's not going to happen that way," Paget says.

Men also lack information about how to touch it and how sensitive it is, Taormino says.

A touch that's bliss for one woman may feel like nothing special, or may even be painful for someone else. Some prefer indirect stimulation.

How can you find out how she likes to be touched? Try asking her.

Sex Mistake No. 5: Wet = Turned On

Guys sometimes get hung up if a woman doesn't get slippery enough for easy penetration. Don't worry about it.

"I think there's a myth that if you're turned on, you're wet," Taormino says. Not necessarily.

Some women tend to get wetter than others, and how much natural lubrication a woman has can change from day to day. It varies by the phase of her menstrual cycle, and it's subject to influences like stress and medications.

Sex Mistake No. 6: Silence Is Golden

A lot of guys think they should be silent during sex, but unless you speak up, your partner has to guess what's doing it for you and what isn't.

If you're respectful about it, a woman who wants to please you will probably appreciate some directions.

"I'm not saying push her head in your lap," Taormino says. "I think that, 'this is how I like it,' is a very useful conversation to have."

More lessons to come. Next time it'll be about what the women should or shouldn't be doing.

Class dismissed.

Your thoughts. Hollatchaboi!

28 comments:

Mizrepresent said...

FIRST!

Smarty Jones said...

Well whaddaya know, I'm first! Yay!
This is very valuable information for your brethern. Some of you tend to think you're better than you are because we make noise.
Let me let you in on a secret, sometimes I make noises to entertain myself. My ex learned the difference and when he did ...
Anyway, good info, glad you're passing it on.
You're a good man, Charlie Brown!

Smarty Jones said...

Damn!

Mizrepresent said...

Now for the post...i agree with them on so many levels, but let's just start with the truth...penetration does not guarantee an orgasm for a woman...it is in fact the clitoris with all of it's sensitive nerves that can and will get that woman to a that point, so guys let's never forget about this...penetration is good, but don't forget to give special attention to the outside...believe me, that is where it is at...if you can do both, then WALAAA! You got GAME!

Mizrepresent said...

Oh, ummm, Sorry Smarty, lol!

The Pew View said...

Baby you knows I loves you but I gotta go. This here topic is sensitive as my clitoris. I'm trying to change my ways. Take care now.

Signed
Ruthie Ann

Kandi Black said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kandi Black said...

lord...it's about time somebody addressed this subject...i thought all hope was lost...

i agree with everything on this list...especially when it comes to a man thinking he automatically knows what i want...nigga, u betta ask me!

at the same time, as a woman, sometimes i don't always tell a dude if he's doing a bad job becuz i don't want to hurt his feelings (i.e. MY EX!)...that's also kinda wrong on part...i think the key to the whole deal is mutual communication and a willingness to cooperate together for the greater good

Dreamy said...

okay good topic to talk about Kyle

anywho, i agree and will just leave it at that, cause i will wind up telling all of my business,lol

anywho hope that you had a great weekend

12kyle said...

@ Smarty Jones and Miz
I'm lmao @ y'all right now. Battling for first! Haaaaaaa. And the winner is....Miz!

@ Smarty Jones
Let me let you in on a secret, sometimes I make noises to entertain myself. *side eye* you were wrong for that! But I see where you're coming from tho

@ Miz
School em, Miz! LOL.

@ Pew View
LMAO!!!

@ Kandi Black
Haaaaa! You are silly.

I think you make a great point. Communication has to be there. As a man, you don't wanna assume that you're doing it right and you're pleasing her. That's a huge turn off

Feelings or not...you should tell him. You don't wanna be miserable.

@ dreamy
Haaaaaa! I hear you

Eb the Celeb said...

#5.. hands down I have been saying that for years... just cuz I have a faucett running does not mean you are doing something for me and that's your sign to rush right in...
I should make a poster of it and hang over my headboard

The F$%K it List said...

Happy Monday to you!

I'm going to say AMEN and be like my girl Dreamy and leave it at that. HA

The Jaded NYer said...

whoa... why did I *just* have the "how does sex feel for you" convo with a friend of mine... is the Universe tryna tell me something?

Opinionated Diva said...

LMAO @ Miz & Smarty!

I'm number fifty-eleven!!! WOO WHOOO!

I think all the points were spot on...except of course the first two lines, which were obviously jokes! LOL!

Eb the Celeb said...

I forgot to tell you that you've been tagged

karrie b. said...

soft porn in the morn...loves it.

-KB

Rich said...

I'm with Karrie B. Ditto that comment.

Kieya said...

"Also, deep thrusting may not feel so nice on the receiving end. If the penis is too long, "it feels like you're getting punched in the stomach,"


--->there's an art to it. just jerkin around like u aint got no damn sense just won't do it.

and just cuz u know where certain parts are on the female anatomy doesn't mean you know them better than me lol good post.

dessex said...

All men have made mistaken during (even women)...thats why I think when you are in a relationships talking about the dos and don't can be very helpful......practice also makes perfect as well.

Sexxy Luv said...

LOL this list is on point! I think I may frame this and hang it in my bedroom! LOL

12kyle said...

@ Eb the Celeb
#5 is true. Maybe you should make your dudes read it. LOL

@ The F$%K it List
Happy Monday to you, too! The words from this article were on point

@ Jaded Santana
Yes we are talkin to you. Are you listening? haaaa

@ OD
They had me ROLLIN'

The first 2 lines were the truth. haaaaaaa

@ Eb the Celeb
Aiiight!

@ karrie b.
LMAO @ u. I've never been into the soft porn...especially the stuff that they show on Skin-in-max. Naw. Gimme the hardcore stuff

@ Rich
Haaaaaa!!! U funny bruh

@ Kieya
A man must study and KNOW his woman's body. You're never too old to learn that. No matter how long you've been with her.

@ dessex
I agree bruh! I'm all about practice!

@ Sexxy Luv
Make sure when you hang it up that they "follow the rules"

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

how accurate was that article? i hope you guys heed!

(where did this come from kyle?)

12kyle said...

@PCD
The article came from WebMd

Queen of My Castle said...

LMAO @ push her head in your lap. That is one of the worst things a man can do.

Dione said...

Ummm... I went to a slumber party...

All the ladies went for the flicker stuff meant to take care of #4 on your post...

Personally, I can't stand the light feathery stuff...

And I have no problem telling my man when he didn't finish the job...

Now, I'll bury this convo in the back of my head :-)

i.can't.complain. said...

for the most part men don't know what they're doing

what worked for one chick may not work for the next

switch it up, plz

but ladies... enough of that prude bull

its okay to be vocal about what feels good

how else is he gonna know...

nice post big brother 12

-1-

freemanpress said...

Noises work sometimes I bring a recorder into bed and play like the pied piper. Try it

Freeman P.
http://freemanpress.wordpress.com

ms.uncensored said...

i love this post. communication is key. there is no doubt about that. so many men (and just as many women) are afraid to talk about what they like and what they don't like. men think they could just do whatever and it will work for every woman. nah hunny ya signature move ((aint)) rockin. and women need to stop actin like prudes as 1 said. hip hip horray for sexual liberation! =]

ooo. btw. i gave u lil background on that love post. ;)