Thursday, January 29, 2009

it's gotta be tha shoes

Shoe models...

The 2 words are synomous. Many of you have heard me use that term before. It's what we affectionately call women instead of calling them what most people call them...strippers. We don't use the word stripper because that word sounds kinda degrading. Besides...if a woman is nekkid and she's only wearing 8 inch stilletos...then she is merely modeling the shoes and nothing else (hahahaha). I wanna take a minute to let you get a male perspective on shoe models and shoe model establishments (or strip clubs/shoe show)

It doesn't matter where you live...Miami, New York, Las Vegas, LA, Detroit, or Atlanta (the black strip club capital)...almost every man has been to at least ONE shoe model establishment in his life. If he says that he hasn't...then he's probably lying. LOL

Men going to watch ladies model shoes is usually shared by at least 2 dudes. If you're a dude and you're going there by yourself, then that's not a good look.

Straight women go to the shoe show. Some go for the vibe. Some go because it's a great place to catch a man. Some women can look at another females body and not be attracted to them.

Not all shoe models have been molested or have psychological issues. Some of them use what they have to get paid. Nothing more...nothing less.

I may go to a shoe show once or twice a year. I always seem to go when I have friends who come here from out of town and they want to go. If they didn't ask, I wouldn't go. It's not that I'd stay away because I'm married. The truth is...I'm a cheap dude. I can't see me giving up my money to a random chick.

Here in Atlanta, the shoe models get totally nekkid...but you can't touch em.

It's very common to see husbands/wives...boyfriends/girlfriends at the shoe show.

Most men think that they can pull a shoe model. You know...get the phone number...then sex. In reality, it's prolly not gonna happen.

Some women would like to model shoes but they' re either too scared, too self conscious, or too concerned with their bodies

I think most some point in time of a relationship...have done a strip tease dance for their man in the privacy of their bedroom.

Lap dances don't last as long as you'd like them to. Some times the shoe models try to start dancing half way through the song. "Nooooo sweetheart. I want you to start as soon as the next song comes on. I just paid $10. I wanna get my money's worth for these 4 minutes."

Memo to the shoe models...look at the dude that you're dancing for. He just gave you $10. It's all about the fantasy. For 4 minutes, you belong to him! LOL. The LEAST that you could do is to look at the man! Haaaa

I know dudes who swear that the shoe model establishments have the best food. Ummmm...I dunno about that. I won't eat food at the shoe show. I mean, if you're nekkid...I don't want you gyrating over my wings and fries.

Making it rain...I still don't understand that concept. You're throwing money in the air? Are you kidding me...we're in a recession!!! Who has money to throw away?

I hate it when shoe models ask you REPEATEDLY if you want them to dance for you. Don't ask me. If I want you, I'll ask you!

I've never taken a female to the shoe show. I think I'd feel awkward. I know dudes who have taken their girlfriends/wives

Memo to shoe models...tattoos look good when you're on stage. But you've gotta think long term. When you're 40, you can't walk around with the word "HONEY" tattoo'd on your forearm

The dj's at the shoe model establishments are funny. They are pushy!

Memo to the shoe models...don't ever take your shoes off.

The nude female body is beautiful. It's crafted with curves. But at the shoe show...who cares...afterall...we're not looking at bodies...we're only looking at the shoes.


eclectik said...

Now THIS is a different post lol

I dunno...seeing as though I love me some calves I would enjoy the hell out of a shoe show

A woman with some hot shoes is a turn on...but I could imagine the legs at one of them


Angel said...

Yes! The naked female body is visually stunning I have to agree.

The naked male however is like an undecorated christmas tree, that’s probably why when women go to men's shoe model establishments we just go wild, scream and laugh. Lol

Loving the shoes…I want a pair!

Anonymous said...

I've never been to a shoe show(male or female)before. I wouldn't be opposed to the idea though.

12kyle said...

@ e
I said that i was gonna do an off the dome post for each day this week. Tryna be like you. But I couldn't do it! LOL. You're the king, fam!

I've always said that good calves and good shoes are a perfect combination

@ Angel
undecorated christmas tree! haaaa! that's funny.

@ BorednTalkative
I've never been to see males strip...and I'll never go see males strip. LMAO!!!!

Anonymous said...

@Kyle - I would be concerned if you had seen males strip. LOL.

Darius said...

Wait - somehow reading this I'm not sure this is entirely about shoes. I'm just sayin...

12kyle said...

@ BorednTalkative
Haaaaa! You don't ever have to worry about that! lol

@ Darius
you're correct! lmao!!!

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

Kyle, you mean to tell I could find a mate at the shoe show...? Wow, talk about out-the-box thinking. Who knew! LOL

Keith said...

"Shoe Models"-Now there is an
interesting term.-LMAO. You're right though..The better establishments do seem to have the best food. One in particular that I've been to has a wide screen tv with some type of Football or Basketball game playing at all times. Other than the shoe models
themselves..I never see any other women ,like wives and girlfriends in this place. Maybe you guys in the ATL just roll differently. I'm like you..The few times I have been is when one of my relatives or partners from out of town is in town and they want to hang out.

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

Now Kyle, you know this post is not about shoes!!!

The ATL is the strip club capitol of the country. I went to an establishment that had both male and female and thought it was hilarious.

I have never given my money away at the shoe show. I work too hard to give my money away for doing something I could get for free :)

Rich Fitzgerald said...

Until I moved to the ATL years ago, I had never been to a shoe model establishment. Imagine my surprise when I walked into Magic City and I saw nothing but booty and shoes. I was in heaven! Had it not been for one of my boys, I'm not sure when I would have gone. He was the king of those joints. He ate there. Actually ended up picking up one of the shoe models at a club out near his crib (off Old National Hwy).

Those were the days.

The first time I heard your term for the joint, I was rolling. I've never been with a female. I don't see the use. That's like taking sand to the beach.

The Jaded NYer said...

I've been to a strip club... eh, it was aiight; they're never as cool as they are on HBO LOL

and in these here parts, we call those heifers STRIPPERS. Period!

Smarty Jones said...

@JadedNyer In these parts too. A stripper is a stripper is a stripper, unless she refers to herself as a college student. And I ain't neh-ver seen one of those chicks in any of my classes.
I did however see a male "shoe model" working in my university's library. In fact we worked together for a bit and it was hella weird at first, but after I told him I'd seen him nekkid, it somehow broke the ice.
You men are some different kinda creatures.

Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs said...

Hey Brother!

Hahahaha! If you wanna see shoes I've got several by my front door!!! (Picture is on my last post) know doggone well aint nobody checking shoes at the 'shoe show'...yall checking apple bottoms!!!!!!!! Lol

Pigskin Loving Lady said...

If I thought hubby wouldn't leave me, I'd be a shoe model for one day. lol I'm not ashamed of my body, I can really dance and I just want to see the reaction of the audience. psst..don't tell nobody, but I already got a stage name and its "SINammon"!!

*Coop* said...

This is hilarious! The rules of a shoe bar.
I'm one of those girls who's been to many "shoe shows" with the guys..and I always have a blast. While the guys are trying to pull the *ahem* model, my girls always end up chatting for hours with the girls (they're all in school somewhere). The more comfortable you are with them, the more guys notice and wanna holla. It's a damn meat market for girls and guys!

I don't eat the food either. I barely wanna sit down on the chairs.

Strokers, Body Tap and Blue Flame. Memories... LOL

The Pew View said...

Hey Baby,

How yous doing? Me and Mabels still on lock down but I was just on this here computer and I saw them pretty shoes and thought I'd read what you wrote.

Well baby if your friends like throwing away cash to see some ass (forgive me Lawd) yall come on down here to visit us. We still trying to get some money to get out of jail and Mabel got plenty of ass (forgive me Lawd) so we might as well put it to use. I knew all them damn cakes she eat would pay off one day! Take care now.

Ruthie Ann

The F$%K it List said...

HAHAHA, you always crack me up when you call them Shoe models, I have to agree with Jaded here in the NY they will forever be STRIPPERS.

This was a funny post. oh and those red shoes look sort of familiar, hahaha I kid ;)

Ra said...

This is hilarious. Loving the term "shoe models".

I've been to both men and women shows, but the women are more entertaining. The men just always seem gay.

I take a pole and floor/chair (lap dance) exercise class. Let me just say, those models who work that pole deserve every penny they

Tha L said...

aaahhh, shoe modeling. did that for about three years back in my twenties, & it was one of the most interesting times in my life. AND one of the most PAID times in my life too LMMFAO! whenever i hear people (especially women) talkin' shit about shoe models, i always snicker to myself becuz most people really have NO idea what it's really like. :-)

3rddeadline said...

"I hate it when shoe models ask you REPEATEDLY if you want them to dance for you. Don't ask me. If I want you, I'll ask you!"


Kandi Black said...

ummm....i am one of those people u mentioned that has seriously thought about being a...ahem..."shoe model"...i think pole dancing is so sexy and acrobatic if its done right. and i would love to go to a strip club. i need a stripper friend! she could be my mentor...and plus i think chicks are hot anyway...

laughing808 said...

interesting and funny post

LOL @ I can't see me giving up my money to a random chick

LMAO @ Some women would like to model shoes but they' re either too scared, too self conscious, or too concerned with their bodies

There is certainly some truth to that statement.......LOL

12kyle said...

@ CurvyGurl ♥
Yes! That is a great place to meet a dude. You know that he's there to look at women and he's prolly not taking a shoe model home. I like your chances!

@ Keith
Here in'll see lesbians who come to see other women. You'll also see straight women in there, too. Some girlfriends...some wives. Sometimes you'll see straight women who will come in groups of 3 or 4. They are just in there to have a good time.

@ Kay C, The Quiet Storm
This post isabout shoes! Well...some of it is. LOL

You will get a good laugh at the shoe show

@ Rich
Magic City is unlike anything that any man has ever seen before. I can't even put it into words. You've never been to a shoe show until you've been to Magic. If you're not careful, you'll lose your wallet in there! haaaaaa

@ Jaded Santana
Let's say shoe models. That sounds soooo much classier!

12kyle said...

@ Smarty Jones
A lot of the young ladies are college students. I know some dudes who "help pay their tuition" on a nightly basis!

@ Keisha the Kitten
I saw that post! You're funny!

@ *Coop*
Those are some good ones! I've been to Strokers, Magic City, Pin Ups, Gentlemans Club, Club Nikki, and Playboy Palace. I went to the Body Tap 2 yrs ago. Five minutes later...guess who steps in...Pacman Jones. He was cool but you know I had one I on the shoes and one eye on him! LOL

@ The Pew View
LMAO!!! I think you're shakin' days have come and go

@ The F$%K it List
I'm willing to bet that you have a pair of shoes! It's can admit it.

12kyle said...

@ Ra
I've heard about those classes. I'm tryna get Mrs12 enrolled!

@ L
You used to model shoes? Worrrrrrrrd? I never knew that. I'm sure that you made that $krilla!!!

For those of you who don't know L or have never been to her blog, in just a few months...she will be a doctor!!! That's why you should never prejudge people. You never know...

@ 3rddeadline
They will bother the hell outta you if you let em

@ Kandi Black
Stripper mentor? LMAO!!!!! I'm over here rollin!!!

@ laughing808
It's hard for me to part with money. I just can't give it to a woman who doesn't share my last name. LOL

ShellyShell said...

LOL...@"Shoe Model" I remember when I first graudated from college. I said if I didn't have a job by the end of summer I was going into the "shoe model" business! That never happened! But I've been to plenty of establishment with my boys! It's always an adventure!

I went to some raggidy azz spot when I lived in DC this chick looked like she had bullet wounds in her stomach! I almost threw up! And no it wasn't the Penthouse. Back in the day the girls at the "House" were the shyt! I haven't been to a "model" establishment in a few years!

Oh yeah I did go see men at some spot in New Orleans and it was nasty as hell! The dude was swangin his shyt all around! Just nasty! LOL!

clnmike said...

I actually havent been to one, what the name of the club in Atlanta?

clnmike said...

Oh hold on a sec I am slow with it.

You actually are talking about booty clubs.

Lol, I havent been to one in a while, I heard strokers is pretty decent.

Miss Mika said...

Shoe model establishments are a lot of fun, coming from a woman's perspective. The first time, it was a bit awkward being one of the few women there to "look at the shoes" and not model them. But the second time I went, I requested a private viewing of one of the models shoes... I was very impressed. She modeled the shoes in a handstand and everything! It was funny too because a few guys came up to me and thanked me afterward for requesting the show.

12kyle said...

@ shellyshell
Haaaaa! You took me back to a memory of a shoe show that i went to in charlotte. awwww man, these had to be the raggediest chicks i've ever seen in my life. i almost wanted to pay them to put their clothes back on!!!

@ cnlmike
strokers is nice. i've had a good time up in there

@ mika
handstand? wow! lol. i've never seen em do that! lol

Stew said...

i have NEVER been to strip club, and i am not lying.

i think call it a shoe show is the MOST creative thing i have heard in a while. HA!

Michael Caroff said...

Very funny, calling strippers "shoe models!" I'm not sure if that's what Santana had in mind when he developed his Carlos by Carlos Santana line, but "if the shoe fits . . . " Well, you get the idea! :)

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Anonymous said...

I love the shoes! I like how you defended the strip tease artists also, not many men do.
And its true we women can look at a female body without being attracted to them. I love seeing the talent of strip tease, its not easy to do!

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