1. the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs.
2. the act or process of communicating; fact of being communicated.
3. something imparted, interchanged, or transmitted.
4. a document or message imparting news, views, information, etc.
We're bad when it comes to communicating. We really are. When I say we...I mean...you and me. Men and women. Just bad. And we have to do a better job. Period. I was thinking about this after co-hosting on Jaded NYer's show on blog talk radio on Monday Night. We had a spirited conversation about some of the many differences between men and women. One of the things that was quite evident is that there is a breakdown in communication as to how members of the opposite sex relate to each other. Communication is a two way street. Let's remember the definition...the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs.
For example, I asked Jaded NYer, Eb the Celeb, Smarty Jones, and The F$%k It List if they would ever approach a man who they found attractive. They all said no. I can respect that b/c there are some real weirdos out there. However, I contend that if you're not willing to approach a man and if you are defensive/stand off-ish when a man approaches you...you've broken the lines communication before anything could have been established. And yes...I understand that some men DON'T know how to approach women correctly. I think we need to do a better job of doing that and understanding that you can't approach every woman the same way. But men do like to be approached! If you don't believe me...ask any male blogger...Eclectik, Rich, Keith, Torrance, Charles, Dessex, 3rd Deadline, Cnlmike, Rashan Jamal, Super Dave Van Buren, Darius Williams, Stew, Swag, Verbal Arteest, Second 68 (that's all the male bloggers who I know b/c it's only like 20 of us...lol). Or you can ask any man. He'll tell you
Also, I think we don't do a great job of communicating after the APPROACH has been established. For example, ladies...if you're not feeling a guy...don't give him your number! I'm always amazed at how some women who I know will complain about how some dude is blowin' their phone up. Helllooooooo, you gave him the number!!! Giving your phone number is a YES. For men, we're looking a series of confirmations (YES STATEMENTS) that will help us get closer to you.
Can I have your number?...YES
Can I call you sometime?...YES
Do you have a man (she answers no)?...YES
Do you want a man?...YES
Can we go out on a date?...YES
If the scenario plays out like this, then the female may view this totally different than a man would. In a man's mind, if he can get this from you...he's at 3rd base already! I think that's where some lines of communication are broken. These are just 2 examples. I think whether we're in a committed relationship, or marriage we have to be mindful about what we say as well as how it is being interpreted. Say what you mean...mean what you say.
Keep in mind that I'm not a relationship doctor...i just play one on tv.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009