Friday, January 9, 2009

da P iz free!!!

Have you ever read something and laughed real hard out loud? I mean, laughed so hard until your head started to hurt?

Well, that happened to me today. I was scrolling news articles on the ' Net and came across this one. The headline immediately caught my eye...

PORN INDUSTRY SEEKS $5 BILLION BAILOUT

Say whut? Bailout for the porn industry? Are you kidding me? Here is a part of the article...

LOS ANGELES — In an announcement that launched a thousand unprintable puns, adult-entertainment moguls Larry Flynt and Joe Francis said Wednesday that they are asking Washington for a $5 billion federal bailout, claiming that the porn business is suffering from the soft economy. Francis insisted in a phone interview that this is no joke or publicity stunt, though his tone suggested otherwise.

“The government’s handing out money to the auto industry,” Francis, producer of the “Girls Gone Wild” video series, said on the phone from his Santa Monica office. “Why shouldn’t it hand some to an industry the nation could not live without?”

The request, Francis said, was being made in a letter to Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass, and Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson. The $5 billion figure, he said, reflects the decline in U.S. adult-entertainment- industry revenue from $18 billion three years ago.

If porn producers are feeling the effects of what one wire service called “the sagging economy,” the pain might be felt most acutely in the San Fernando Valley. In 2007, revenue from more than 200 Valley-based adult-content companies was estimated at $1 billion.

One adult-film star from the Los Angeles area said she is feeling the pinch.The actress who performs as Jenna Presley said her Web site has seen a 20 percent decline in customers, about 1,000 of whom pay $19.99 a month to watch the 22-year-old perform online. Presley said the downturn has forced her to cut overhead.

“I said, ‘I’ve got to stop paying guys and girls to perform with, and I’ve got to find (other Web site proprietors) to do a content exchange with,’ ” Presley said matter-of-factly. Instead of paying co-stars, she is posting their videos on her site and they’re posting her content on theirs. Adult DVD sales and rentals have decreased by 22 percent in the past year.

“People are too depressed to be sexually active,” Flynt said in a news release. “This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such, but they cannot do without sex.”

LMAO!!!! C'mon man! Porn is free. There's sooooo much free porn on the internet that it ain't even funny! Nowadays, it's easier to find it online than it is to get a loan from a bank. I'm sure that we've ALL seen some form of porn at SOME point in our life. I'm not asking if you watch it now (even though I'm sure that somebody will go as far as naming their favorite stars...lol) but if they think they are gonna get a bailout...they are crazy. I'm a dude...I can appreciate a skin flick just like the next person but I'm not gonna endorse a porn bailout.

Not in this SAGGIN economy...

Times are HARD...

LMAO!!!

Memo to President Obama...when they call you about this one...tell em that you ain't home!

33 comments:

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

When I read that, I laughed too...causing my coworkers to look at me in a "wtf" kind of way.

They can't bailout the porn industry...hell to the muthaf*ckin' naw!!!

The Jaded NYer said...

maaaaannnnnn, I haven't paid for porn in EVER! Are they kidding me? I know like three sites that show full clips and NO CHARGE.

except, you know, if anything happens to you and CSI has to check your computer for clues, they gonna find virtual jizz all over that ish (plus the full discography of Yani, John Tesh and Barry Manillow that you were hiding from everyone) LMAO!!!

The Jaded NYer said...

And another thing, I SWEAR TO THE GOD I DON'T EVEN WORSHIP:

If those fools get a $5billion bailout I'm giving up my US Citizenship and moving to Europe.

I hear Italy is nice...

Opinionated Diva said...

*snickering*

of course this is a joke

lmao @ Jaded NYer "I hear Italy isn nice"

Smarty Jones said...

ROTFLMAO!!!
Man, you never cease to amaze me. Bailing out the porn industry? I wish they would.
Newspapers and other news outlets have been struggling for the entired five years of my career and if ever anyone needed a bailout, we do.
Man, if they pay those hoes, I'm going to be highly upset.
And I don't understand why people insist on paying for -ish they can make at home. That's like going to a restaurant and ordering a bologna sandwich!
-SMH

xcentricgem said...

I heard about this ... if nothing more this is hilarious !!! Hell ... where do individuals sign up for a BAILOUT !!!

My libido is attached to my checking accout and the stock market .... Do I qualify? ...

Miss Mika said...

Wow.

That is all I can say...

wow.

I've always thought that porn DVD's were too expensive anyway! $49.99 for one DVD? Are you kidding me? And when I get it, half the time I am laughing at it rather than being turned on by it because either the dude is a short-short man, or the chick is over acting.

He's got nuts to even try and request a bailout though, I will give him that.

12kyle said...

@ Beautifully.Conjured.Up
i was rollin when i read it. with all that's going on in the world, we've gotta save the porn industry? lmao!!!

larry flynt's comment about us being too depressed to have sex had me rollin? depressed? sheeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyttt!

@ jaded santana
lmao @ virtual jizz. you are soooo stoooopid

@ OD
they are dead serious. but we can't take em serious

@ Smarty Jones
i feel you. the news industry might be standing on its last leg. i dunno how you make it, homie.

we don't pay no hoes! lmao!!!

@ xcentricgem
i dunno what's next...a bailout for bums? a bailout for the zoos?

"My libido is attached to my checking accout and the stock market .... Do I qualify?

u r silly! lol

@ mika
it does take nuts to even ask with a straight face.

$49? ohhhh nooo! why pay when you can get it for free99? lol

ShellyShell said...

I hate blogger sometime! I had a whole post and it erased it somehow! Uggg!

Anyway when I saw this I was cracking the hell up! Shyt I ain't mad at them! Can I get a bailout too? LOL!

$49.99 for porn? GTFOH!! Go to YouPorn or Pornhub...lol! Don't ask how I know this!

Eb the Celeb said...

people are too depressed to be sexually active but what does that have to do with porn... I swear if the porn industry gets bailed out... all my student loan balances should automatically just go to zero...

dessex said...

There are so many places to get porn it's not funny. And I never would pay damn near 50 bucks for a porn DVD. My barber sells that shit for $5.

But i will be damn if the Government gives money to the porn industry when our public school system is failing our kids.

TravelDiva said...

I heard that on the radio yesterday. They're funny. They didn't even want to bail out the auto dealers and they actually think they'll bailout Dirk Diggler? Wasn't that the guy's name in Boogie Nights? LOL.

Mista Jaycee said...

Leave it to Larry Effin Flynt to point out that America's getting a stiffie from congress and should be duly compensated for it!
Jaycee

Keith said...
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Keith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
L. Renee' said...

This is a PR stunt!
Come on...I don't care how broke you are, you are never too broke to get a buzz or to get laid.
Therefore, the liquor stores and the porn industry should be safe.

Sexxy Luv said...

So...she's charging people $19.99 a month to watch her perform sexual acts and she has about a 1000 viewer but since the recession she is down to about 800. hmmmm the wheels are starting to turn.

wish me luck! lol

Keith said...

It's HARD out here to even be a pimp. I swear I seen a few at unemployment yesterday..

Sign of a SAGGING economy!!

Queen of My Castle said...

Was this title of yours meant to be a pun, Mr.? LOL

LMAO @ the soft economy and these comments.

Um, Ol' girl is charging $19.99? Are you serious?! I bet she can't even make her arse clap. C'mon now. LOL

12kyle said...

@ ShellyShell
You heard about those websites, right?? wink..wink

@ eb
Yes! I'm with that! Student loan bailout

@ dessex
Your barber is the reason why they need the bailout!! LOL

$5 aint bad! haaaaa

@ TravelDiva
I think that was him! LOL

@ Mista Jaycee
Larry has a lotta nerve to even be asking for some loot! I guess there's nuffin wrong with asking. Just because he asked doesn't mean that he's gonna get it.

12kyle said...

@ LRenee
Never too broke to get a buzz or get laid! LOL!!! That was funny. Very true!

@ Sexxy Luv
LMAO @ you!!!

@ Keith
Times are DOWN but surely they will RISE. Haaaaaaa

@ Queen
Of course it was! haaaaa

She prolly don't have no azz to clap!!!!

Mizrepresent said...

You are so right about the availability of porn on the internet...it is everywhere! I believe this is just another joke, but funny anyway! Happy New Years 12K!

Oyin said...

LMAO.....they will neva see my funds!!

clnmike said...

LMAO I needed to read that.

~Ms. Moore~ said...

LMMFAO---this is WAAAAAAY TOOOOOO much. This is so funny that it must be a publicity stunt.Boo Hoo the porn industry only made $15 billion even with the availability of free porn. GREED is one of the 7 DEADLY SINS. At least he didn't say that he needed the bailout so he could push his porn as sex education in school...got to be more careful before this society goes to HELL in a hand basket.
I don't know anything about free porn or what a fair price is for porn or even where to find it. I like to look at AI(and others)then let my mind take care of the rest. That way CSI (and big brother) won't be that far in my head.
Jaded NYer I hear Italy is nice and the Italian men love Black women and if you miss a day shaving your legs they'll love you even more---LOL
www.deliveringonthepromise.com/rcvmoore

MsPuddin said...

oh no! the economy is so bad we don't even have porn! whatever shall we do???

hmmm...have sex like normal people lol

Darius T. Williams said...

Yea, this is hilarious. But I've never thought about it though. I think it's more of a cultural thing too because a lot of whites subscribe to this stuff. If they're the majority of this multi-billion dollar industry and a percentage of Americans are now feeling the pinch in a big way, I think we as a country should examine that.

I know it sounds weird, trust me - it does. BUT, in the reality of it - it's a huge industry that has now had a down turn based on the negative effects of the economy. I think this may be a time to put our personal feelings and beliefs aside and just hear this thing all the way through. Just a thought...

Angel said...

Hilarious as usual Kyle. I dont think it can be a real article...hope you are doing well :)

Stew said...

5 billion is alot of money. what the hell they need all that money for. all the have to do is cut the production cost.

i got a video camera they can use. they do not need an ultra high def camera.

i can wack off to low resolution video, and i am sure the rest of america can too.

Online Porn Business said...

lol... it actually seems like a ploy to jump onto the bandwagon and get some government funds whilst they are handing out money they don't have... and what a story in would make over a few quiet beers at the pub... "yeah we managed to score $5 billion from the government... all for porn!!!"

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