Thursday, February 26, 2009

too old or too young???

Age ain't nuttin but a number...

Well...that's what they've always told us. But is it just a number or does it really matter?

I was having a discussion with a blog crew member who asked about how we handle the age difference between us and our mates. Society tells you that you should be involved with someone who is close to you in age. But sometimes that just doesn't happen that way.

For example, one of my childhood friends is 35, single, no kids, and college educated. He is not interested in being married right now. He's too focused on his career. I always tell him that he's gonna be that dude who gets married at 45 but his wife will probably be 25! LOL. I know that he's gonna marry a woman younger than him. There's nothing wrong with that. Personally, I couldn't do it but what do I know.

If the roles were reversed and a 45yr old woman married a 25 yr old man, society would call her a "cradle robbin cougar." Is that fair? No...but that's a double standard that we live with.

Personally, I've never dated a woman more than 6 yrs younger than me. Never dated a woman more than 3 yrs older than me. I guess it just kinda worked out that way. What about you? What is the biggest age difference that you've had?

Would you date/marry somebody more than 10 yrs older or 10 yrs younger than you?



Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs said...

Hey Brother!

I just wanted to let it be known I'm first...the eyelid tap dancers have arrived and I'm getting sleepy SOOOOOOO I'm back in a few hours to comment!

eclectik said...

Doesn't matter to long as we can relate and enjoy each other, I'm down.

People get caught up on Age too much (i.e. Well Im at the age where it's time to settle down...Im too old to not have children)

Do what feels right...public opinion in overrated.


I've officially given up on getting you to the board...with your facebook and blog and twitter...feh.

Anonymous said...

I always seem to attract older men. They are usually 2-3 years older than me. My daughter's father is 15 years older than me though. I'm not really bothered on age, as long as he's not my dad's age.

Anonymous said...

I must say that every society is different. Here in America I dont think many people think of ages so much as they do in Africa. I know that it is a taboo for a young man to fall in love with an older woman. But for me because I look so much younger than what I am...I tend to attract all mens in there 20's. Hey my son is 18 and I know it seems funny but they seem to be rocking far more than the 40 year old guys. hahahaha, soooooooo for the first time in my life, Im gonna try something new (looking around) one

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

I use to have an age hang up but I realized that men around my age were a little young for me (mentally, I mean. I've always been an "old soul")

Lately, since I have come into my own I attract older men. The oldest was 12 years older. Right now there is someone 10 years older. Most of the men I attract are around 5-8 years older.

It's not about age though, because the one who was 12 years older was still too young acting!

I also think age matters less the older you are. In my 20s I would not have dated someone in their 30s. In my 30s it doesn't matter as much.

Eb the Celeb said...

I always had parameters are how much older the dude was because I felt if he was too much older that he could date my mom... since she had me at 17. I used to only go 5 years older... but since I'm 27, I've been playing the field between 25-35 and that's my limit... no younger or older.

Keith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Keith said...

I go back and forth..I dated someone eight years my junior once..and someone about six years older than me another time. Both of those types of relationships have their challenges..(People being at different points in their lives and all)

My wife and I are the same age.

Ra said...

I've gone out on a date with a guy who was 7 years older and it was the worse. Not because of his age, but because of the difference in our level of life experience @ that time. He was newly divorce with 2 or 3 kids. I was young and single with no kids. I couldn't relate to the ex-wife, family talk he kept wanting to go into.

I've also had a physical relationship with a person with the same age difference. That was much better because we were able to relate on a different level. I felt I was able to learn from him, because it wasn't about anything more than what it was.

I could not go lower than about a year though. I have a brother who is 4 years younger, and anyone in his age range would just feel wrong.

MzInspiredMind81 said...

I generally date men who are either right at my age (28yrs young) or a couple of years older(2-3yrs). There is currently someone who is 10yrs older than me(but I swear doesn't look it at all) that's interested in me and I can't lie, the feelings kinda mutual...and I'm in a relationship..SIGH SMH!

The Jaded NYer said...

I never thought I'd date someone younger until I did, and I've always found older men sexy, so while I have some parameters in my mind, I'll make exceptions here and there.

The only things that MUST be true of my date is he must be taller than me and if it gets serious he MUST NOT want children, 'cause guess who's baby factory is CLOSED and OUT OF BUSINESS? Yeah, man, the recession got to it... we had to shut the doors n sh*

B said...

Funny that you mention this as I am just embarking on "something new" with a man that is 14 years older than me. Yep...I'm 24 and he's 38. It was strange at first but he truly is the BEST man I have ever dated. I never thought I'd be datin' someone this much older than me. But oh well. I highly doubt I would date someone younger. Young 20's? I don't think so.

The F$%K it List said...

My hubby is 1 year older than I. Now if I had not been him since the womb I don't think I could date anyone less than a year younger than me, its the maturity level.

ok so I made that up on twitter. I always have something to say.

Smarty Jones said...

Interesting post man. I am the product of a relationship that has an 11-year-gap. My father is 61, moms just cracked 50 on Tuesday.
I can see how they both related to each other and I can see how their relationship failed.
If we were to go on personalities alone, one could swear that my mother is older, she's more mature and all that.
My dad on the other hand still acts like a teenager. Don't get me wrong, he's a mature dude, but he loves to hang out and have a good time. He's chasing women, playing pranks on people and he just stopped wrestling with my brother in the last few years.
Personally, I think I'm going to end up with an older man anyway. I am the "dirty old man" magnet in my group of friends. If there is a man old enough to be my father prowling for young chicks, best believe he will find me.
Problem is, I am not usually attracted to them. They're nice enough but I already have a father and a step-father, I don't need or want another.
Ten years older is my limit. I don't recall ever dating a guy younger than me for any extended period of time. Sure they're nice to look at but it never goes beyond that.
I went out with a 23-year-old late last year and I had a headache at the end of the night. It was like hanging out with a little cousin, if my little cousin couldn't keep his hands off my ass!

ShellyShell said...

I tend to date younger dudes. I have NO idea how that keeps happening. My ex was 3 years younger than me,the next dude was 3 years younger and now the Teacher is 5.5 years younger but sometimes he acts like a damn old man! LOL! I dated a dude 6 years older than me about 5 years ago and he acted like he was 65! A Mess!

12kyle said...

@ Keisha the Kitten
Yes! You are first

@ e
Do what feels right...public opinion in overrated. Amen, bruh! No need in worrying about what other people think

@ BorednTalkative
15 years? Wow! That tells me that you're very mature for your age, too!

@ Oyin
LOL!!!! Wait a've got an 18 yr old? You don't look old enuf to have an 18 yr old!

@ Kay C the Quiet Storm
I agree. Most of us don't worry about that once we hit our 30s

12kyle said...

@ Eb the Celeb
I think that is a good range.

@ Keith
Do you think their ages had anything to do with it?

@ Ra
Good stuff. What is the difference in the age between you and your hubby?

@ MzInspiredMind81
Good for you!!! Told you that age aint nuffin but a number!

@ Jaded Santana
LMAO @ U!!!! Shut down!

12kyle said...

@ B
Is that the guy that you told us about on Twitter? Congrats, B!

@ The F$%K it List
Thank you! LOL

@ Smarty Jones
How have you fared with guys your age?

@ ShellyShell
The Teacher is younger than you? I didn't know that. I hope you don't try to boss him around! LOL

~Ms. Moore~ said...

I have dated men 10 years my junior and my senior. It is funny that the youngest man I ever dated was more mature than the men who were closer to my age and the men that were older than me. I agree with e to a certain extent. I do not ever want to date a man that is younger than my daughters. That’s like being the 80 year old man in the club trying to party with the 25 years old. Otherwise it is good to find someone to vibe with and kick it in whatever way works for the two of you that doesn’t hurt anyone.

ShellyShell said...

Kyle,he tells me that I try to boss him around and that I'm spoiled and like to have shyt my way! But I will say when I do drop knowledge on him that will benefit him he listens! He let me change his entire investment portfolio around! Hehehe! I think he thinks I'm pretty dayum!

Rashan Jamal said...

I got 7 and 3/4 years on my girl now. (7 and 3/4 sounds better than 8 LOL)I used to have a 5 year rule. 5 years older or 5 years younger, but that didn't really work out.

I've actually never dated anyone older than me. No particular reason, it just worked out that way. Most of them have been either the same age or 3 years younger.

Keith said...

Yes, their ages and my age at the time had a lot to do with everything.

Smarty Jones said...

Well Kyle, I haven't "dated" a dude my age since high school, unless you count the guy I've been messing around with since high school.
Maybe I should try that and see how it works out.

Ra said...

My husband is 20 days older than

Mizrepresent said...

For a while i seem to attract the younger man...the youngest being 26...which was too young for me to really get serious. The one i'm seeing now is 10 years younger than me...and so far, so good, just as long as he's not looking for mama, and not wanting kids.

Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs said...

Great questions and great comments!!!

I can't imagine myself dating a man younger than me but I do understand you can never say never...

I really see myself with a more seasoned man who can teach me some things about life. I work with teenagers everyday and I'd rather not be in a relationship where I DO NOT have to school him because he's too young and lacking life lessons...But to each is own....

Anonymous said...

(looking around)....shhh, yea I do. Im well I will send you my age on FB