Tuesday, February 17, 2009

make em smile

When your woman is happy...the house is happy.

I used to hear that all the time when I was growing up. I understood what they were trying to say...gotta make sure that YOU make your woman happy. I dig that. But what about us men? What is the woman gonna do to make US happy. It's a 2 way street. Now...before I get all of this hate from the females, I'm sure all 20 of the male bloggers have my back! LOL.

I got this email the other day and decided to share it with the class. Hollatchaboi!

13 Ways to Keep Your Man Happy

1. After washing your beautiful locks, don't forget to pick up your hair from the shower drain. It may not bother you but he doesn't like untangling your hair from his big toe.

2. Be understanding of his work schedule. An occasional afternoon call to see when he will be home is fine but when you begin to stalk him daily at 5:01, his boss starts waiting for your call.

3. Let him play with his friends. As long as they are not 5'9, single, intelligent, beautiful and looking for a husband. Seriously, guys need guy friends to hang out with and do boy stuff. Your man will be happier and won't be so impatient when your girlfriends call you during dinner, breakfast, lunch and sex.

4. Speaking of..., don't let yourself go.
That doesn't mean you must maintain a certain weight or length of hair for the sake of your relationship, but it is a gesture of love to take pride in your appearance. You may expect the same from him and you both deserve a mate that is clean, showered, shaved and cares about their health. Remember all those sexy ladies you see as competition? He sees them as potential mates. Step your game up.

5. Buy your own razor. Quit sneaking his razor out of his bathroom to shave your legs and underarms then attempt to conceal the offense by drying it off with his face towel so it doesn't get yours dirty and put it back as if you never used it. He always knows!!!)

6. Compliment him, genuinely and often. Let him know how much you appreciate the little and the big things he does for you and the family. Taking out the trash may be part of his "routine," but acknowledging his efforts will keep him motivated to continue.

7. Don't hide the credit card bills. Be honest with him, even if it hurts. It's better to hear the truth from you than your creditors.

8. Take the initiative to practice random acts of kindness. Don't wait for Valentine's Day or his birthday to buy him a little "love gift" or write him a love letter. Hug him going out the door in the morning and coming back in the door at night. He's going to wonder what you are up to!

9. Don't talk bad about his parents or his siblings. It's difficult for him to kiss someone that just20called his mother a Bitch and his father an Dead Beat. Remember that he is an offspring of that union, which would make him a Son of a Bitch and Dead Beat.

10. Treat him like you did when you first started dating.
Keep your sex life spicy and don't forget simple words such as "please," "thank you" and "excuse me."

11. Remember all those bodily functions you tried to keep discreet while you were in the throws of wooing him? Just because you have been together for a while and are very comfortable around your beloved doesn't mean you can now fart, blow, snort and pick to your heart's content.

12. Plan a date night to do something he loves, even if you don't. Instead of seeing the latest chick flick, compromise and see an action movie and go to dinner at a place you mutually enjoy. Have a couple of glasses of wine so you can sleep through the car chases.

13. Never go to bed angry. Cliché, yes, but true. A well-rested man is a happy man. It's much better to go to bed next to someone that you can curl up next to, rather than someone you must put pillows in between.


eclectik said...

Women aren't worried or concerned with making men happy.

Relationships revolve around women and how they feel...what they want.

Horrible precedent and double standard.

Everything men do is for women, attention from women, to obtain the interest of a woman.

SOME of the things women do is for men, and if we dont pick up on those things...they dont care lol

But Im single so what the hell do I know?

That's a mean list though...I can think a woman might do 2 of em tops lol


clnmike said...

Man #1 is really underrateded.

That mess annoys me the most though when they use the sink.

Angel said...

It’s a great list and I do them all to keep my man happy (sticks her tongue out at eclectik)

In fact many females have told me how I spoil my man too much but I believe that the home can be a really relaxed and wonderful place when both parties are feeling loved and appreciated. I also think that although men and women have different needs the more you give him his kind of love the more he will give you your kind of love then everyone is cool..

Unless he aint into you, then he will lie back and lap up all your efforts and do nothing for you in return.

12kyle said...

@ e
"Relationships revolve around women and how they feel...what they want."

Soooo true! You wanna know why???

It's because the P iz undefeated! Never lost! Its a gazillion and 0!!!

@ clnmike
That's so true! Hair will clog up the sink alllllll the time.

@ Angel
Good points!!!

Ra said...

Very good points. Things tend to fall off when you've been together for a long period of time. Even moreso if you're married with children.

I think I'm pretty good with most of these. My biggest offense is #6. I live a simple lifestyle, don't really need the grand gestures to show me love. It's the little things that make my daily life easier to maintain, but I don't show my appreciation as often as I should.

Now #11, I'm sorry. But we've been together too long for that to matter anymore...lol. I will give some warning though. If I say "you might want to give that bathroom about 20 minutes" or you see me fanning my butt and I say "you might want to stay from behind me for a bit" he might want to heed that warning...lol

The Jaded NYer said...

BOOOOOO to this entire article!!!

I only do #1 on the list to keep my landlord from giving me the side eye every time he has to unstop my shower drain. But seriously- have you seen my hair? There's A LOT OF IT! I can't help that it clogs the drain!

That is all. Carry on.

Eb the Celeb said...

What you know bout a 5'9 woman with yo 5'6 self...

LMAO... you know I had to get you for this post... always trying to tell us women what to do. Men were put on the earth to serve us. If we wash out hair and there's hair in the drain... clean it up dammit!

ha... I'm just joking... these are some good points and every women should be secure in herself enough to not have a problem with any of these... although I might have to get started on a list of my own for the men out there.

And ewe... who the hell shares a razor with their man... married or not... that's just nasty.

Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs said...

Hey Brother!

Sounds fair to me....

12kyle said...

@ Ra
You are so right! Things definitely change over a period of time. That's where we have to be creative and keep the sparks going. Who's more creative than women????

@ Jaded
You DO have a lotta hair! Are you saying that you can't keep it off the floor or out of the drain? Hmmmmm

@ Eb the Celeb
5-7...get it right

Men are put on the earth to serve women???


Sharing razors is a no-no!!!

btw...pay close attention to #2 and #3

@ Keisha the Kitten
Glad that you like it!

The Jaded NYer said...

my hair is NOT falling out, if that's what you're thinking... when you have this much it sheds a lot. Can't explain it... we just have a lot of hair in my family!

(PS- I guess the list isn't that unreasonable, but still... BOOOO! I have a rep to maintain LOL)

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

er, first of all....women are not the only ones who are able to distribute hairs into the sink/shower...JUST KNOW THIS!!!

furthermore, the razor thing is not hygenic...bleh!

for married folks...who hides bills?

and about the parents/siblings...PCD calls a duck a damn duck. no matter who you are! the one real rule in my house is that i will NOT allow any outsiders to cause confusion up in here. so if your momma is a fool, your daddy is a drunk and your sisters are hos....oh well! just know how to keep them in check, know how to steer clear of their unacceptable behavior and and all will be fine.

otherwise, i guess your list makes sense...altho i really don't care enough to apply them. JUST KIDDING!!! but the saying about women being happy is because traditionally, women bear the brunt of most things. so because women are usually the ones, nurturing, kissing, hugging, cleaning, cooking, working, picking up the toys, getting clothes ready, planning the weekend fun, etc...we get worn out! and most of our efforts go unnoticed because they just aren't things that rank high on men's lists. unlike men, who usually go to work, do the yardwork and obvious stuff like that. how many men actually notice that their women scrubbed the walls or cleaned the baseboards today? how about dusted behind the file cabinets and around the door frames? yeah....

The Jaded NYer said...

*gives PCD a standing ovation*


12kyle said...

@ Jaded Santana
I feel you. You've gotta lotta hair and so do the girls. SOMEBODY has to pick up the shedded hair. That's all I'm sayin'. Haaaaaa

I have very little hair to leave around in my sink. Wifey has a ton of hair. I can only imagine how much hair would be on the floor if I had a daughter. LoL

I feel you. We don't hide no damn bills at my crib!

Aiight...here's where we differ. I think you put the man in a tough spot when you call out his family. If his pops is a bum...he knows that he's a bum. Your man doesn't need you to repeat the obvious. What you are doing is creating a divide. I'm not saying that you can't voice your opinion but you should try to be diplomatic.

@ Jaded Santana

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

I agree with the article and I also agree with Jaded on having a lot of hair. My man will have to compromise with me on that one, I will clean it the best I can :)

I am a woman who will cater to my man if he appreciates it. I appreciate the little things and will return them with no problem. It's called give and take...working on the relationship. No relationship will prosper and grow if it is not nourished by both parties along the way.

Anonymous said...

Ok, now that I have read the blog you have made some interesting points I must admit.

Keith said...

Great Post and very good points.

I have a daughter- The Hair in the
sink thing is always an issue.lolol

It's a good rule not to talk about anybody's parents negatively..especially Mama!!

Bill hiding is a no-no...My daughter is the only one who does that in our house.-lolol.

I'm still trying to talk Mrs. Keith into letting me install that poll in the bedroom to spice things up a bit...Still talking..
the poll is in the garage, gathering dust...

Rich Fitzgerald said...

Y'all holding court up in here.

Smarty Jones said...

I read this last night and I figured I'd let the 21 of you male bloggers hang yourselves before I intervened.
In reading the article and the reactions, I must say that they all have very valid points. But let me shed a lil' light for you on the situation Big Brother.
If you keep Mama happy, then Mama keeps everybody else happy, if she's a real woman, anyway.
Women give so much of themselves in all situations. They have to work twice as hard at work then come home to an ungrateful supporting cast at home where they do the cooking, the cleaning, the mending, the scolding and everything else that is either too hard or folks flat out don't want to do.
Because ya'll don't talk, women are forced to figure out what makes you happy and we determine what makes you happy based on the responses we get from the crap we do.
So, if you smile hella big because we cook and give you free reign of the damn TV, we think that's all you need because it gives the biggest reaction.
The moral of the story kids, talk to your girl, woman or wife about what makes you happy and watch her go out of her way to do that for you.
Damn! All that cause you won't open ya damn mouths and say what you feel!
We CAN NOT read your minds!
Excuse me, that's a little residue, I had to wipe that off my chest.

12kyle said...

@ Kay C
I think you made some great points. I think that most men will appreciate the little things that a good woman does for him.

@ Anonymous
Thank you! And thanks for reading and commenting

@ Keith
I'm with you 100%!!! You can't say nuffin bad about mama and expect us not to get mad!!!

LMAO!!!! I think MrsKeith is gonna let that pole stay where it is! It's not coming in the house.

@ Rich

@ Smarty Jones
You know what...I have to agree with you. Excellent points.

ShellyShell said...

I learned this at a very young age. My dad would always say your mom sets the tone of this house! My mom is a fiery person..she ould go the hell off! LOL!

I don't have the hair to worry about. Although I have lots of thick azz hair. The dominicans see it EVERY week! I clog up their drains....lol! Work schedule and friends I can deal with that! When I worked in M&A I worked looooooong hours so I can't complain. My ex fiance was a consultant...100% travel! So, if you gotta work shyt by all means work!

I had a convo last week with my girl about letting herself go! This chick is pretty as hell. She was always a biscuit away from being a chub but now...dayum she's the entire pack of biscuits! She has NO kids she just cooks and eats her azz off! I finally told her that she needs to do something about it because her dude didn't sign up for that shyt! He still is maintaining. He has told her in a nice way but she's not listening! So, I told her azz she needs to hit the gym and put the damn smothered chicken down! Maybe it's because I like to work out and I can't imagine letting myself go. My sister has two kids and is still the same size she was when she got married 19 years ago! Sorry for the rant that shyt just sets me off!

I don't do well at the complimenting thing! The teacher reminds me of that ALL the day time! I told him he should just know since I always want him to walk around with no shirt on! LOL! Yeah I gotta work on that!

I have a few issues with not saying anything about sorry azz family members. I think there's a way to say it. The past couple of weeks I've just been quiet about the Teacher's crazy azz family cause it's soooo fricken nuts that I know nothing nice would come out of my mouth! I just say shyt like "ohh that's interesting!" or "you're better than me" LOL!

The Teacher and I went to Mexico last year and he asked me to go to the pool so he could poop...lol! I cracked the hell up!

I really try to not get off the phone late at night angry at him but good lawd it's hard somedays...lol! We got into an argument Friday and he was getting on a plane and I felt bad so I called him like a crazy person!

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

ok kyle, let's be clear on this. i don't just go around calling people's family members names. BUT if they step out of bounds, i will call it like i see it-PERIOD!

for instance, if your mama is a big-mouth and has run off speaking on something she shouldn't have, i will address it as such. you don't get a pass just because you are related to my spouse. but i won't wake up one day just like-YOUR MAMA IS A NOSY BUSY-BODY!!!

until they cross me, out of sight...out of mind!

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

Taking notes, Kyle.

There's a new book out about the reasons men cheat (the author was on Oprah last week). Most of the guys he interviewed said their wife's lack of compliments and acknowledging the little things led them to stray. I believe it, so many married men I run into are starving for compliments and attention.

The F$%K it List said...

Hmmm.. now lets see...
As for#1 you can keep that mess, I haven't washed my own hair in years thats what my stylist is for.

I agree with some of the list but I think PCD and Smarty Jones made the best points. Keep Mama happy and the world is a happy place.

In my house no matter the situation how I feel will rub off on everyone, and for the most part I am happy but if I'm not the energy is pretty powerful and can fill a room, especially if its fueled by something The Mr did.

Sharing Razors, toothbrushes, deodorant, anything that is mine in the bathroom is just that or its going in the garbage.

My hubby and I have talked about his parents and mine. But never any bad mouthing, his siblings however are a hot ghetto mess and I tell him each time they piss him off and he knows its true.