a letter to my 18 year old self

You're 18 yrs old. You're standing in bathroom preparing yourself for another day of school. You stare at the reflection in the mirror. You crack a smile...as you've done several times...then you say to the mirror..."You are great". This wasn't a daily affirmation. You were just reminding yourself of something that you had been taught and believed since you were about 6 yrs old.

You're a high school senior. You are surrounded by a great family. You have the best friends in the world. You're playing high school football at Wilson High in Florence, SC. You're enjoying every day of high school. Life is great. You feel like you know it all.

You don't know ANYTHING.

You'll be headed off to college soon. You have no idea how your life is about to change. You are about to leave your family behind. You'll only be 90 miles away at South Carolina State University. Little do you know...this will be the last time you'll live under the same roof as your mom, aunt, cousin, and your brother. Family is everything to you at 18. They are all that you know. They are a phone call away. So, is your father and your little sister. Your family is all that you have. You'll miss them and they'll miss you. Everything happens for a reason. Don't worry...your brother, Damon...will join you and your cousin at SC State in the fall of 1994. Before you leave Florence, savor it. Take it in. You won't realize how much this town means you until you're gone. It's home. Always will be. Do me a favor, Kyle...stop by the school to see Coach Wells. He was not only your head coach but a mentor. You never got a chance to thank him for all that he did for you. You'll be stunned by the phone call that you'll get 3 yrs later and the realization that he had passed away.

Somebody will soon ask you about your biggest fear and your response will be "losing touch with my crew". You have a ton of friends. But only a few that you can call crew. Nobody comes above the crew! Never has...never will. You're at a crossroad because everybody in the crew will soon be going in different directions as college looms. A few will head into the military. There was no such thing as email or cell phones. Hell...you won't even be able to call them because you don't have the money to pay for a long distance call. You will stay in touch via letters. It sounds strange. But it will work. You can't deny the bonds that you established with the dudes and girls in your crew. There's something to be said about the people who knew you from day 1. The ones who will watch you grow into the person that you will become.

At this time of your life, you have a few things that you love. Hip hop is one of them. You're engulfed in the music and the culture. It has become a major part of you and your life. The truth is...hip hop has always been there. That will never change. Your love for hip hop will never die. As for the girls, love has escaped you. Actually, you ran away from love. You had girlfriends and others that you liked but you couldn't love them. Why? The fallout from your parents divorce had an effect on how you viewed relationships. You secretly vowed to never let anyone get that close to you so you'd never experience the pain that you felt from the divorce. You don't realize how this changed your relationships. It made you unwilling to love, cautious, but not jaded. Here's the good news...you will soon find love, learn to open your heart, and you will learn to love. And that will change the way that you look at a lot of things.

Your first love is football. I could write you a dissertation on what football means to you and what you'll actually get from the game. Maybe I'll save that for the next letter. The game gave you so much. You will give back some of what you got later in life. Just know that your love for football will only grow. You're 18 now. You only have a few more years to play the game. Once you've stopped playing, walking away will be hard but you'll adjust.

Lastly...your world will change. In time, you will become a husband and a father. I can't put into words what that will do to you but you'll be a better man as a result of it. There is a lot more that I can say but I'll save that for the next letter. Continue to live each day to the fullest. Find something to laugh at each day. Never take anything too serious. I'll leave you with this word of wisdom that you heard at the age of 6 that has become your life's motto...

Think positive. Act positive. And you will become a positive person.


Love,
43 yr old Kyle

ask 12kyle

Check out the 12 RADIO SHOW. The 12 RADIO SHOW is the most innovative and interactive show on Blog Talk Radio. Tune in tonight at 9pm EST as the host, 12kyle, informs and entertains! Don't just listen to the show...be a part of the show and participate in the interactive chat room...or call in to speak with 12kyle and his co-hosts.

TOPIC - ask 12kyle. On this episode, we're going to do things a little different. A few weeks ago, we asked if any of our listeners wanted to get advice from us...on ANY subject. Our listeners have sent us the questions...and now you get to hear our advice on life, love, dating, sex, work, and much more. The show will be co-hosted by Kai Love from The Pisces Life Podcast. You don't want to miss this!!!

You can listen online (www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle) or via phone (347)215-7162. Press #1 if you want to speak to the host. You can also send tweets if you want to have your questions answered or comments to @12kyle

Follow the show on twitter: @12RadioShow. Also follow the host 12kyle on twitter: @12kyle

7 Ways To Start The Day Right

good piece from business insider...

Some people find mornings filled with optimism, while others would just as soon stay in bed until the clock passes the noon hour.

For most, however, the workday beckons and the morning is a mad rush to get everyone ready and out the door. By the time you reach the office, you've probably already dealt with the stress of family, weather, traffic and other distractions. Unless everything goes perfectly, you'll carry all that stress into your office and share it throughout the day with your employees and colleagues.

Fear not, it is possible to get the day started right, no matter what comes your way. Try one of these tips each day of the week or combine them. Either way, you'll start out on your terms and be prepared to make it a great day.

1. Plan the night before.
Why start your day unorganized? If you organize your to-do-list, breakfast menu and your clothes the night before, you'll wake up feeling in control and relaxed. Taking 20 minutes to lay out everything can save you a 30-minute fashion crisis or search for the car keys. With a little efficiency, you'll save the frustration and scrambling, leaving you ready to tackle more important issues.

2. Try 15 minutes of meditation. 

Some might be afraid that a meditation session early in the morning could just put you back to sleep. But genuine meditation actually stimulates the brain in a deep and thoughtful way. It allows you to clear distractions from your mind and purge negative energy. Center yourself with thoughtful introspection or prayer and be open to the positive energy the world brings your way.

3. Begin with inspirational reading. 

Part of my morning ritual easily allows for reading first thing. Many read the news, which can be a sad way to start the day. Buy a few books that are uplifting, inspiring, or even humorous for your first brain stimulus. This will give you positive, fun thoughts to keep you energized throughout the day.

4. Open your eyes to fresh flowers. 

If the first thing you see when you wake up is a dingy wall or barren winter yard, you can certainly improve those critical few minutes with a pleasing splash of color. Research suggests that exposure to bright colors in the early morning raises your spirits and energy. So pick up a pleasant bouquet every few days and set it right in your view.

5. Trade coffee for green tea. 

Coffee is a great stimulant, but sometimes it can over-stimulate and the acid can make your stomach uncomfortable. Try a soothing cup of green tea to start instead. You'll still get the caffeine you crave (just a bit less), plus healthy antioxidants. It's cheaper and healthier than a double caramel mochaccino, too. You can still get the java mid-morning if you want it, but you may find you don't even need it since the crash won't be as severe.

6. Do some yoga. 

Exercise is a great stimulant to wake you up, and make you feel good. It's good for the body and pumping those endorphins makes your mind happy and alert. Cardio is great, but for the whole body approach, add a little yoga into your routine. You'll control your breath, stretch your muscles and generate energy. Your body and mind will be one and ready to conquer the world.

7. Schedule a hopeful appointment. 

I never feel more energized getting out of bed than when I have an important meeting about an exciting opportunity. The prospect of a fun and productive encounter

in the blink of an eye

In the blink of an eye...your WHOLE life can change.

I know that.

You do too!

Sometimes things happen in life and you stop in your tracks.

On Sunday night...June 3...something terrible happened. A Chrysler Pacifica traveling eastbound on Hwy 78 near Stone Mountain (Ga) Park went off the highway and crashed into a wooded area. The driver had lost control of the vehicle. The driver was not alone in the car. The driver's kids...two girls (15 & 11) and two boys (9 &8) were also in the car with him. After the crash, only the boys were able to get out of the car. When the driver could not find his cellphone to call for help, he decided to walk to a nearby restaurant to get help. While it is unclear why he left his daughters (I think it was because either he couldn't get them or he thought they were dead), he and his sons walked a mile to get help. When they got to the restaurant, they called the police. While in the restaurant, the driver and his sons were captured by the restaurant's surveillance camera. The driver was clearly distraught on the camera. The video, which would later be played on the local news in Atlanta, shows a man who appeared to be off balance at time. The paramedics arrived and treated the boys who appeared to suffer minor scratches. The police arrived at the restaurant within minutes. Then, they visited the site where the vehicle had been crashed. The 11 yr old girl was still alive. She had suffered fractures and an injury to the head. The 15 yr old was dead. The police say that the driver, Anthony Johnson, caused the accident. They surmised that he had been drinking. The police arrested him and charged him with DUI, vehicular homicide and failure to maintain a lane.

I know Anthony Johnson. Not personally...but I know him. He is the father of a kid on the football team that I coach.

The kid, Nehemiah, was one of the best kids that was on our team 2 yrs ago. Although he didn't play on our team last year, he was back on our team this year. He is a good kid. He's kinda quiet but a good athlete and one of the best kids who we lined up at cornerback that year. And he has a big smile that could light up a room. He was back with our team just 2 weeks ago when we started doing our summer conditioning program on Sunday afternoons. I saw Mr Johnson and gave him a pound and hug when I saw him. I thanked him for letting me coach his son again this year. As a coach, you feel like each kid is yours because of the bonds that are shared on and off the field. This story hits close to home because I think Mr.Johnson...from what I could see...is a great father.

I feel for Nehemiah. I wish I could see the kid and give him a hug. I don't know what he went through during that accident. I don't know how he'll move on at the age of 9 as he has lost his oldest sister and his father is facing jail time. I don't know what Mr. Johnson was thinking when he got behind the wheel. Was he drunk? The police seem to think so. Johnson is now out on bail and will be awaiting trial. But how do you console him when he knows...whether he was drunk or not...he has lost his child. As a parent, you NEVER want to out live your child. The mere thought of being on this earth without my children can bring tears to my eyes. None of us know Mr. Johnson's pain. I feel for him. I don't know if I'll coach Nehemiah this year. At this point, it doesn't matter. I just hope he and his family will be okay. Time will tell

All I can do is pray for them.

we're getting a divorce

This will be the first and the last time that I address this personal issue...

But it is official...

We are gettin a divorce!

Am I mad? No. It's been a great run. We've had some great times. We've been together for years. I cannot...and will not say anything bad about her. We've spent countless hours together. And you just can't put a price tag on that.

To say that she meant a lot to me is an understatement.

If you ask ANY of my friends, they'll tell you that we were inseparable.

Remember when she held it down on the trip back from Destin, Florida?

Or remember how she hooked everything up at the WHS Homecoming a few years ago?

You'll never hear me bash her. I didn't want it to end. But don't all good things come to an end? Well...that's what they say. It's funny...I starting writing this blogpost about a month ago but I didn't think I'd ever publish it. Didn't think we'd go our separate ways. Some people would say bad things about her because they didn't want to see us together. But I wouldn't listen to them. Never thought we'd be HERE!

But we are...and it's sad. It wasn't 'sposed to end like this. So...where did we go wrong? When did we drift apart? I'm not even sure

Maybe it was the days when she would "reset" for no reason?

Maybe it was the days when I kept getting that "hourglass"? And that led me to having to do a battery pull

Maybe it was when she couldn't hold a charge? Then last Wednesday...I would "open" her up and the screen just went black. Well...that was the final straw. I had to divorce her that day!

I miss the BBMs and the emails and all of the great times. But I always said we'd be together until she could no longer do the stuff that I needed for her to do. And that day came last Wednesday.

And while I have moved on to the biggest TEAM in the world...I know that I could have never become the social media mogul without you.

Love you, BlackBerry

lessons learned...

With age...comes maturity.

With maturity...comes wisdom

Over a period of time...you learn things. I think you should continue to learn no matter HOW old you are. Here are some things that I've learned...

surround yourself with friends who will tell you what you NEED to hear...not what you WANT to hear.

make your plan then work your plan

life is short. cherish each day

find something...or someone...or something to laugh at each day

never settle and never be content

every relationship and friendship requires work

learn from mistakes...don't repeat them

love hard

if you treat people nice then they will return the favor

sometimes goals are easier to be obtained when they are written down

hard work always pays off

you're superman or superwoman in your kids eyes

never be afraid to ask for help

say I love you to those who you love

stay focused

never forget the simple things in life

take time to reflect on how blessed you are

thank the people who helped you become who you are

breathe air. take it. embrace it. and know that you cannot live without air

the dash

There's an old saying in life.

"There are two dates that matter. The date of birth and the date of death."

I think this is true. We have no control over these dates. We didn't know when we'd be born. And we don't know when we will die. Death is a certainty of life. I've always joked that I will live until I am 135. I believe that. Nevertheless, I do believe that we all serve our purpose on this earth. I think we're here until God feels like we should no longer be here. It doesn't matter if you're here for 9 days or 99 yrs.

If you see someones timeline, it looks like this 1950 - 1999.

The number's are there and we can't control them. The thing that we can influence is the DASH.

The DASH represents what you have done on this earth. The dash represents your infinite possibilities on the is earth.

Remember that you control your dash.

u name it

A month from now, my family will welcome it's newest member...

It's a boy...

Anutha boy...

We're excited...

I can't wait for the lil fella to get here.

I hope he's healthy.

I'm excited about having my second nephew...

Oh...don't get it twisted. I'm sure that the first lines may have made you think that I was having another child! LOL! Nah, we're done and very content with our 3 soldiers. Trust me!

The newest edition will be named Braydon. He'll have an older sister (Taylor) and an older brother (Tyler). I asked my brother why he and my sister in law chose that name. I can't remember the answer but he liked it. I do, too. We named our sons...Deion, Kameron, and Brandon. As you can see, both me and my brother have given our children very common names. I've never been a fan of exotic names. I don't knock those who have exotic names because they can't help it. However, I do scratch my head when I hear some names that today's parents have given to their kids...like JaMarkwon for example.

I guess in '72 you could say that the name Kyle was exotic. I guess? It was rare. My mom named me that because she had a co-worker, who happened to be white, and she liked the name. I found the name to be very rare growing up. I had only met 5 people named Kyle through my school years. And they were all white. When I got to college, I met 2 black people named Kyle (a dude and a chick). Nevertheless, I like name. Always have.

kyle- a narrow channel of water between two islands or between an island and the mainland; a strait or sound. (Scotish/Gaelic)

What about you?

Does your name have a meaning? (*first names only...some of you may be on a WANTED list...lol*)

If you have kids...what are their names? Do they have a meaning? If you DON'T have kids, what would you name the kids that you plan to have?

Hollatchaboi

whutwouldudo

I am loyal person...

Extremely loyal...

Especially when it comes to my crew.

You don't get a stronger bond. The crew always sticks together...no matter what. The way that we roll...if you disrespect/mistreat/break up with one of us...we all will cut you off.

Which leads me to this question, if somebody mistreats your best friend but then makes an attempt to be friends (or establish a business relationship) with you...what do you do?

Hollatchaboi!

laces

Sports can teach you life's lessons

I learned that early and I'm still learning it.

I remember my high school football coach, Virgil Wells, telling me...

"Son, your job is to catch the ball. You have the ability. When the ball is the air, you treat it like it's yours. You focus on it. No distractions! You don't wait for the ball to come to you. You go and get it! Your focus on the ball should be such that you see the laces on the ball the moment that it's in the air."

Coach Wells' words have always stuck with me.

When I was younger, I used to wonder if he was talking about football or life's opportunities?

Now that I've gotten older, I realized that he was talking about both. Opportunity is just like that ball. Focus.

Even though Coach Wells is no longer here, I'm glad that he told me.

And I'm glad that I listened. Thanks Coach

igottastory2tell

It was coming and you could see it

Hell...Stevie Wonder could have seen it.

Vulnerability can easily be sniffed out. Especially by a member of the opposite sex.

On the surface, it appears that Rachel had it all. She was a successful rising attorney. She was a wife (12yrs) and a mother of 4. Her career was blossoming. She had plenty of money in the bank. She was in good health. And she was a pleasure to look at. To say that she was an "eye catcher", it would be an understatement. She was a stunna. But there was something missing. Rachel and Jalen's 12 year marriage was falling apart.

She had grown tired of being treated like a second class citizen by Jalen. Over the past few years, he had become verbally abusive to her. Their loving relationship had turned to a relationship that she could no longer recognize. She wasn't sure when things had gone wrong. Was it the time that Jalen punched her in the face...despite her being 8 months pregnant with their 4th child? Was it the time she found out that he was secretly talking to another woman behind her back? She could never confirm if he was cheating but her heart was broken. Nonetheless, things were different between them.

One day while at work, Rachel was asked to serve on a new government program. She felt honored to do it. The only drawback to being involved with the project is that she'd have to leave New York City and work in Washington, DC for 3 weeks. She didn't think it'd be a problem. She didn't want to be away from her kids but she knew that she needed to be away from Jalen. Her older sister lives in DC and she hadn't seen her in about a year so she looked forward to the trip. When she got to work, she met another team of attorneys. Everybody seemed to be cool. Except one guy. His name was Amir. She didn't know what it was but there was something about him that she DIDN'T like. After a day of working with Amir, she found him to be arrogant and self centered. Amir thought Rachel was cute but he wasn't feeling her at first. He knew that she was married. He wasn't...but he wasn't going to pay her any attention.

One day after work, Amir asked Rachel if she wanted to grab a bite to eat after work. She wanted to say no because they had worked for 15 hrs that day. She just wanted to go back to her hotel and go to sleep. But she needed to eat so she said yes. They went to dinner and saw a different side of Amir. He was charming, caring, and very intelligent. She liked how he hung onto her every word. She liked how he opened the door for her and pulled her chair out for her before they sat down. They had a great conversation over dinner. After dinner, Amir asked Rachel if she would go to a salsa club with him. She immediately said yes because she didn't want the night to end. They danced the night away. She didn't return to her hotel until 3 am. She had a ball. For the next week, she spent every night with Amir. They were really enjoying each other's company. She felt a connection. Amir was so different from her husband. He treated her like a queen. She was feeling him. And he was feeling her. Then...it happened.

They slept together.

It happened just before their work on the new program was over. While they both knew that they were wrong, neither could deny the passion that they shared. They were inseparable after that. Amir, who was already in a relationship, was really into Rachel. They were always together. Even when she left and went back to New York, he would come to New York to see her. And she would come to DC to see him. Their sexual relationship continued. It continued for the next 9 months. Amir had a girlfriend. Rachel knew that. However, he neglected to tell her that she was pregnant. When she found out, she was disappointed but she kept seeing him. They would spend hours on the phone. They would spend weekends together because she would tell her husband that her sister was sick and she needed to go to DC for the weekend. In a way, both Amir and Rachel were committed to each other despite being in committed relationships.

Rachel and Jalen's marriage was falling apart. She decided to come clean and tell him about the affair. When she broke the news, Jalen was devastated. He could not believe that his wife of 12 years was cheating. He was furious. He grabbed her Blackberry and found Amir's phone number. He also found text messages and emails. He called Amir and told him to stay away from his wife. He didn't stop there. He found the name of Amir's girlfriend and eventually found her cell phone number. He called her and told her EVERYTHING that happened. She was devastated. She was 8 months pregnant at the time. She couldn't deal with the stress. She wanted to kick Amir out of their apartment but she couldn't. Amir confessed his love for Rachel to her. Amir had told Rachel that he loved her and wanted to be with her...but he didn't tell his girlfriend that.

Rachel called Amir's girlfriend, Valerie. Valerie told her that she also found that Amir was seeing some other female who lived in Richmond, Va. In a strange twist, Rachel felt betrayed. She had planned to dissolve her marriage and move forward with a future with Amir. She couldn't. She said that Amir wasn't honest with her and she could never trust him. Amir tried hard to show Rachel that he loved her despite the fact that he had a child on the way with Valerie. In Rachel's mind, it was too late. She tried to reconcile with her husband, Jalen. She asked for his forgiveness and tried to show him that his actions led to her infidelity. Too late...

Rachel found out that she was PREGNANT with Amir's baby! She knew that it was Amir's child because she had not slept with Jalen for months. She had to tell Jalen. She could not keep the secret from him. Jalen was furious. He grabbed his 9mm handgun and locked himself in the bathroom. She thought that he was gonna kill himself. The news didn't go over well with Amir when she told him. He asked her to get an abortion. She said that she couldn't. She wouldn't. She was determined to reconcile (if she could) with her husband.

Her husband is not in favor of reconciliation. He has not asked her to terminate the pregnancy nor does he support her efforts in the pregnancy. Amir's girlfriend gave birth to a son. They are still together but she doesn't trust him. Meanwhile, Rachel STILL doesn't know what she wants. She loves her husband and she loves Amir. She's 9 weeks pregnant and she's confused as to what she should do.

She asked me what I thought. All I could do was shake my head and reply..."Maybe you could make this a movie b/c if I didn't know you, I wouldn't believe this story.

this is a true story...the names have been changed to protect the innocent

8-24-09

8-24-09

I remember that day like it was yesterday

It started with an upset stomach. That rarely happens. Nevertheless, I went on to work despite feelin like shit. Once I got to work, I was immediately met with some drama about something that I had done wrong. Now, I was pissed off AND I didn't feel well. I pressed on...

As the day progressed, my supervisor continued to annoy me about petty stuff. I was completely out of my zone. I called my wife and told her that I was tired of the micromanaging and I was about to cuss this chick out. I left the building for lunch to catch some fresh air. When I came back to the office, I tried to get back into my zone but I couldn't. I felt strange. I didn't know why. For some reason, my stomach was killing me again. I thought to myself...This has been a shitty day. What else could go wrong???

Then it happened. I got a text message at 2:45 from my friend Stacy. It read...

By the time u read this it will be to late. I love all of u.you have been great friends and family. I just cant do this anymore my life is done

Huh? What is Stacy talkin about? That's what I was thinking. I read the text again. Scratched my head for a second. The text message sounded suicidal. I had talked to Stacy 2 weeks prior to getting this text message. Stacy was going through some hard times. Stacy was about to be unemployed. Got fired because of some bs. Not only did Stacy lose the job but Stacy had a several relationships that had gone bad. With huge financial/personal issues, Stacy had decided to send this text message as a last goodbye to family and friends. I couldn't believe it. I have been tight with Stacy since high school. I sat at my desk for a minute...dazed. I stepped away from my desk and called Stacy. No answer. I tried again...no answer. Then I tried again...no answer. I called my wife and told her about the text message. She advised me to call one of my boys who lived near Stacy. At this point, I'm freaking out because I can't reach Stacy.

Hours go by. Still no answer. I finally get Stacy's brother's phone number. My worse fear had been confirmed.

Stacy had attempted suicide.

The news hit me like a ton of bricks. I was numb. Why would Stacy want to leave this earth? Times are hard and I know that. I think that no matter how bad things are you still have to do what you have to do to make things better. Jobs, friends, girlfriends/boyfriends/spouses will all come and go. As long as you have air in your lungs, you're ok. That's the way that I feel.

I spoke with Stacy later that day. I really didn't know what to say. I was hurt. I was pissed off. I was mad. I was confused. Not only did Stacy send that text message to me but to Stacy's siblings and parents. I really didn't say that much to Stacy that day. There was so much that I wanted to say but I couldn't. There are so many issues. Depression is one. Too often (especially in the black community), we never address the issue of depression. We ignore it. Did I ignore it in Stacy? I don't think so. Nevertheless, Stacy is getting help and counseling. I spoke with Stacy last week and it was almost like old times. Lots of laughs and jokes.

I'll be honest. I wasn't even gonna write this post. This happened nearly 2 months ago and I finally had the mindset to put it out there. I try to keep things positive. I've read blogs about stuff and become sad after reading it. That's not the intent here. Far too many times, we ignore the little things in people. The small cries for help. Sometimes we never know until it's too late. It's ok to tell somebody and show somebody that you care. More importantly, it's good to show them that they mean something to somebody. Far too many times we're left with unanswered questions.

I'm just glad that my friend has a second chance...

competition...

Because I'm number one, competition is none

I'm measured with the heat that's made by sun

Whether playin ball or bobbin in the hall

I'm just writin my name in graffiti on the wall

You shouldn't have told me you said you control me

So now a contest is what you owe me

Rakim "My Melody"

I was listening to this song and this verse was on "repeat" in my head. Competition is none...

None!

Rakim meant that!

The more that I thought about it...i had to ask myself..."is there any competition for you?"

You'd be surprised with the answer that I came up with. No! There is no competition. Some may think that it's an egotistical, arrogant, and bold statement. Actually, it is. The way that I see things...I'm not in competition with anybody in all facets of life. I am an extremely competitive person. I've always been. But there is no competition.

I remember being in competition with my crew when we were in high school. Back then, the competition was to get the best grades. It was subtle but we tried to outdo each other at times. Positive peer pressure...that's what i call it. After those years, the competition flowed inward. Even athletically when i was in college, it wasn't about being better than the next dude. It was about how well I could be and how far I could push myself.

As life as evolved, I've realized that people will try to box you into what they THINK you should be. You know...you should have this kinda job...this kind car...this kinda house...this kinda spouse...this number of kids...blah, blah, blah. If you realize where the real competition is, then you can't be boxed in. By most people's standards, I'm doing well in life with what I've accomplished thus far. But I don't get into all of that. I ain't Jay Z or Lebron James. I'm not in competition with them either. I'm not in competition to live their lifestyle nor to own their worldly possessions. I'm not in competition with anybody...about anything. Not even this blog...because there is no competition to this blog (lol)...truth be told.

The competition lies within. It's about the drive to be who you are. It's about being better than you were yesterday. It's about trying to be better the next day. It's all about forward progression. But the drive, desire, motivation, hustle, ambition, energy, and positive thinking...comes from within.

And there is nobody that can compete with what YOU have within YOU.

growing pains...

recent convo...

ME: Man, these boys are growing up so fast. Never thought I'd have sons that are 10, 7, and 2. Time really does fly. I can remember the day that we bought Deion home from the hospital. Kinda hard to believe that it was 10 years ago.

Mrs12: Time really does fly

ME: Won't be long before the girls and stuff start.

Mrs12: What do you mean?

ME: I mean, it won't be long before he'll really start to like girls and things will really take off.

Mrs12: Take off? I don't understand.

ME: He'll like girls and then they'll be calling the house all the time.

Mrs12: Oh no! Those lil fast girls won't be calling MY house!

ME: Excuse me (laughs)

Mrs12: You heard me. Some of these lil girls are fast. Too damn fast. They won't call my house.

ME: At one point in time, YOU were a fast lil girl that called somebody's house! LMAO!!!

Mrs12: Yeah. Whateva.



The truth is...as parents you can't imagine your child being interested and falling in love with another child. You tend to look at your child through innocent eyes. In reality, when they become teenagers...sex will become an issue. You can try to hide it from em. But you have to remember that kids are exposed to so many things that we weren't exposed to. Back in my day, it was cool if you could get your hands on a copy of Playboy or Black Tail (some of y'all know about that). Nowadays, you can find any nudity you want (including porn) on the 'Net (some of y'all know bout that, too! LOL)

I always laugh when I hear dudes talk about how they are gonna protect their daughters from horny lil teenage boys. They talk about "getting their shotguns" to let these lil dudes know what time it is. Can't say that I blame em. If some young punk showed up at my door with 2 earrings, gold fronts, and with his pants falling off his ass coming to see my daughter (if i had one)...I'd wanna shoot his ass, too. Nothing wrong with being overprotected but we need to be honest with ourselves. You can't hide sex from teens. You could walk into any high school and I'm sure that you'd find very few virgins. Some of us got started earlier than others. LOL. But it's a sign of the time. There will be girls that will come along a make my boys THINK they are in love. And they'll get their little hearts broken. You don't wanna see it happen but it's a part of life.

I went on to explain to my wife that I'll be sitting down with Deion one day and explaining to him the birds and the bees. I won't tell him "DON'T BRING ME NO GRAND KIDS" (like my mom did). I'll talk to him about girls. Tell him the pros/cons to sex. I would never advocate that he has sex but I'd be unrealistic to think that he's gonna wait until he got married. I would prefer that he's ready. I think you know when you're ready. I'd tell him about HIV/AIDS, STDs, and pregnancies. I'd also tell him what Dad told me.

Before you do anything with a woman...ask yourself if you would want to deal with this woman for the rest of your life. If she gets pregnant, that's what you'll be facing.

Treat a girl/woman the same way that you would want another man to treat your sister.

I never forgot those words.

At the end of the day, you can only inform them and hope that they do the right thing. Some kids will wait. I didn't. But I did the right thing. Some women will say that they should have waited. Who knows what my sons will do? I just hope that they listen.

tha drive

Friday nights...high school football games

We've all experienced it.

It doesn't matter if you were in the band...if you were a cheerleader...even if you were a nerd...we have all experienced a high school football game. One game stands out in my memories of high school football.

It was a cool October night. It was one of the biggest games of the year for me and my football team. We were playing against a conference foe, Cheraw Braves. We needed to win this game to solidify our run to the playoffs. On a personal note, I needed to play well to impress the college coaches and recruiters who had come to the game.

It was late in the fourth quarter. We were down by five points. We were about to receive the ball. It would be our final drive in an attempt to score the winning touchdown. Until these final moments, I had played very well. It may have been one of my best games that season. I had caught 5 passes for more than 100 yards. We were losing by 5 points and there was 3 minutes left in the game.

Cheraw was about to punt the ball to us. I went back to receive the punt from the kicker. Earlier in the week, Cheraw's head coach had said that they were not "going to punt the ball to me because I was too dangerous in the open field." Such praise from an opposing head coach made me happy that he respected my game but he had held true to his word. They didn't kick the ball to me all night...except this last time.

I caught the punt...made a quick move to make 2 guys miss me...ran straight...dodged another 2 guys...then I raced toward the sidelines. I ran past a couple of dudes before somebody pushed me out of bounds. It was a 25 yard punt return and I had put us in good field position for our last drive. We only had one timeout left and time was not on our sides. We knew that this would be our last shot of winning the game. Cheraw was a tough team. Very well coached and disciplined. We were playing in their stadium and their crowd was going crazy. I remember standing in our huddle on offense and telling my teammates that we were gonna win the game. In my mind, I really believed it. I also believed that I would be the one who would score the winning touchdown.

The final drive started off well. Completed pass...1st down. Completed pass...1st down. Run...1st down. We were moving our way down the field. I was getting open but I didn't get the ball. Not a problem for me. I wanted to win. That's it. That's all that I cared about was winning. The individual accolades will come later but I was always focused on winning. I've always said that football (all sports) teach you lessons about life.

We're on our final play of the drive. There are only 22 seconds left in the game. We've got no time outs left. We're about 20 yards from scoring a touchdown. As I get to the line of scrimmage, I noticed that the pattern that I'm gonna run should be open. The ball is snapped to the quarterback. As I'm running my route, I bump into the defender and he falls down. Now...I'm wide open as I race toward the end zone. There is not another Cheraw player near me. I'm thinking...I'm wide open!!! I'm gonna score the game winning touchdown just as I had envisioned.

The quarterback sees me heading on my post route towards the end zone. He throws the ball to me...

The only thing I see is the brown football floating through the air.

I can't believe that this is gonna happen. The game winning touch down! Don't drop the ball Kyle!

As the ball approaches me, I prepare my hands to catch the ball and cradle it into my body...then...

Everything goes black...

Not only did I NOT catch the ball for the game winning touchdown...the pass was intercepted by Cheraw. It ended our comeback. It ended our shot at a conference title. And it hurt. I remember just laying on the ground in the end zone for what seemed like an eternity. We lost that game. I'll never forget it.

For the first time in my life, I was in tears after a football game. I cried. And I mean I cried like a baby. I never saw that dude from Cheraw. I was focused on that football and scoring the touchdown.

Lesson learned...even when you do your best...it isn't good enough for a win. Sometimes life will blindside you with something unforeseen. When that happens...you pick yourself up...and try even harder the next time.

keep it real???

Come on ya'll now, let's be real
Some jokers got a rough time keepin' it concealed
I wonder what it mean, it's probably self-esteem
They fiendin to be seen, get hemmed like Gaberdeens
Cats think it can't happen until the gats start clappin
They comin' down the wire spittin fire like a dragon
Cause while the goods glisten, certain eyes take position
To observe your trick, and then catch that ass slippin'
Like, come on now ock, what you expect?
Got a month's paycheck danglin' off your neck
And while you Cristal sippin', they rubbin' up they mittens
With heat in mint condition to start the getti-gettin'
They clique starts creepin' like Sandinistin guerrillas
You screamin' playa haters, these niggas is playa killers
Mr. Fash-ion, that style never last long
The harder you flash, the harder you get flashed on
There's hunger in the street that is hard to defeat
Many steal for sport, but more steal to eat
Cat's heavy at the weigh-in, and he's playin' for keeps
Don't sleep, they'll roll up in your passengers seat
There is universal law, whether rich or poor
Some say life's a game, to more, life is war
So put them egos to the side and get off them head-trips
'Fore some cats pull out them heaters and make you head-less...


Mos Def (Got)

KEEP IT REAL

We've all heard that term before. Honestly, we've probably heard it too much. On the heels of this Plaxico Burress case, I'd like to take a second to jump into it.

Prior to poppin a cap in his own leg, most people outside of football fans had never heard of the guy. Burress is the latest athlete to have a run in with the law. He's not the first and he certainly won't be the last. From OJ Simpson to Michael Vick to Pacman Jones, the laundry list continues. It is very disappointing to see that alot of the athletes are black. I'm not saying that all athletes are bad...not saying that all black athletes get into trouble. I'm just saying that it's disappointing. It's disappointing b/c I grew up in an era where the athlete was somebody that you looked up to and could identify with. Y'all know that I'm a HUGE sports fan but these athletes aren't like those in the past. But keep in mind that they are human...just like you and me. They make mistakes...just like you and me. They live in the same society that we do. If there is crime, drugs, sex, corruption in society...you'll have athletes that will fall under those categories. It is what it is.

In speaking on Burress, I want to look at the mind set of him as well as others. All of us. This dude knowingly took a loaded gun into a club and accidentally shot himself. Why would you need to take a gun in a club? If you don't feel safe in the club...don't go. I don't begrudge him for wanting to go in a club. Who hasn't been a club before??? All of us have. And we could have been in that club when his gun went off. I could have been on the dance floor...minding my own business...sweating somebodies perm out...and then POW...I'm shot! That makes no sense to me. I don't begrudge any athlete for wanting to be in public and not be bothered. If that's the case, then you can hire a security guard. You can afford it. Why wouldn't you do that? Do you think we'd think that you're a chump because you need a bodyguard? Or are you willing to keep it real?

Burress is a married man with children. I'm not gonna say "he should have been at home with his family". I can't say that because I go out with my friends. Mrs12 is cool with it because she trusts me and she trusts my friends. And she also knows that I'm not gonna put myself in a situation that I shouldn't be in. When I was 25, I would go to any party around ATL. Now at the age of 35, I don't. Why? Because SHIT HAPPENS...that's why. If I got shot at some hole-in-the-wall club, how would I explain that? Married father of three catches a bullet in club! That doesn't make sense. I'm gonna hang out where there are people like me. People who have the same stuff as me and don't wanna rob me. Burress feared that somebody would jack him for his cash and jewelry. Well...take off the jewelry and get rid of the cash! We're in a recession, bruh! If I saw you with 100k worth of jewelry on...I MIGHT ROB YOU!! LOL. Times are hard. Why bring attention to yourself? I don't begrudge you for enjoying your wealth with jewelry and cars but that stuff brings attention to you. And sometimes you don't need that attention. The "harder you flash...the harder you get flashed on." Unless you're willing to keep it real.

This ain't just about some athlete who made a stupid mistake. It's about us as a people. Personally, I'm not going to a place where I need to be "patted down" as I enter. I'm too old for that. If I were a miliionaire, I'd hang with other millionaires. Or I'd hang with people who wouldn't do any harm to me. Decisions. Reasoning. One of the things that separates humans from other animals is our ability to reason and think logically. Be smart about what you do. We all make mistakes. But let's stop keeping it real. I just heard a song on the radio (never listen to the radio) about some chick who bragged about "busting out the windows on a dudes car". Huh? Are you kidding me? Is this the type of stuff that we promote? Let's call that what it is...BATTERY! Or is that keeping it so real that we'll be ignorant?

Like I said earlier, this just ain't about some athlete. It's about us. We control our thoughts, words, and actions. Every action has a reaction. In every action, there are consequences and repercussions.

*stepping off soapbox*

hollatchaboi!!!!

rip X...z motion...81 scissors...4 flat...

We learn new things every day. It's a part of our growth process.

Vibe with me on this one...

As you know, I have a deep love and passion for the game of football. I played it from the age of 8...all the way through college. To say that I took some things from it would be a huge understatement. I learned a lot. I learned things that you can apply to every day life. For example...

1. Game Plan
In football, you must have a game plan. Your game plan is your strategy for how you will play the game.

In life, having a game plan is essential. You can't wander though life aimlessly without having a plan...or a goal. If you fail to plan...then you need to plan to fail.

2. 4 quarters
A football game is divided into 4 quarters. It is a grueling sport. The 4 quarters are a test of your endurance.

In life, there are many games that you play within the big game of life. Your objective in life is to win more than you loose. For example, you want to win with your personal relationships but you'll lose (heart break) from time to time. You have to endure the trials and tribulations that come your way. But you can't quit. You won't quit. You just do it. Period!

3. Halftime
Halftime is the midpoint of the game in football. It is the time where you review the plans and make any adjustments

In life, you must constantly make your adjustments. As we all know, life will deal you the unexpected. You can try to plan for things but life is constantly changing. And thus...we have to make our adjustments and strategies for our lives.

4. Injuries
If you play the game of football long enough, you're gonna be injured. It's almost like being in a car crash every play

In life, your feelings will be bruised and battered...especially at the hands of those that you love. Just like in football, you don't complain about your injuries. You deal with it and move on. You can't dwell on it too much. Nobody will feel sorry for you. We all get injured. The story is not about how you got injured but it's about how you overcame the injury and moved on.

5. Fans
In the game of football, the fans enter stadiums to watch you play. They will sit and watch no matter if it's 100 degrees or if it's -4 below. They are there to cheer you on.

In life, we all have fans. No matter who you are and what you do. There is SOMEBODY out there who is rooting for you to succeed. They want to see your success just like you do. And that's important.

6. Hard Work
In life, hard work pays off. Suffering + sacrifice= success. To be successful doesn't mean that you have to be a CEO of a Fortune 500 company. It just means that you do what you're supposed to do and get some satisfaction from it.

Football is no different. It is a game that will teach you discipline. It will teach you how to push yourself...when you don't know if you can push yourself any more than you have been.



So...in essence...football is just like the game of life.

Who said that you couldn't learn something from a simple little game???

You just did!

Holla!

lights...camera...akshun!!!!

I like going to the movies. I like watching a good movie that will hold my attention span. Because it costs an arm and a leg to go nowadays...i wanna get my monies worth. Sometimes i can imagine myself on the big screen.

That leads me to today's post. I'm jackin' this one from LRenee (c'mon back, gurl). She did this a few months ago.

1. If you wrote a movie about your current love story and had to use a song as a title. What song would you choose and why?

Gotta go with Sade as well...Kiss of Life. My ole lady (lol) is my best friend. We've been through thick and thin and we're still together

2. If you could reenact your favorite love scene from a movie, what movie would you choose and what scene?

Eddie Murphy and Robin Givens in Boommerang. He went from having is "toes curled up" to sucking his thumb. That's me. haaaaa

3. In your love story movie....what celebrity would you cast to play the role of your significant other? Why?

Sanaa Lathan. Why ask why? LOL

What about you???

Hollatchaboiiii!!!!