you've got the answers

Kameron walked into the room the other day. He looked at me and asked...

"Dad, when was Pearl Harbor?"

I paused. Then answered

"December 7, 1941. Why do you ask?"

He responded.

"I just wanted to see if you knew."

Then he walked out of the room.

I found the question to be weird. I wasn't talking about Pearl Harbor with him or anything. It was just a random question that seemed to come from left field. He knows that I'm a history buff. But I'm an even bigger fan of geography. That was my favorite subject when I was in high school. Even though the question was a surprise, it wasn't abnormal.

One of the things that we do from time to time in my house is...we watch Jeopardy together. We watch and try to guess the answers. When we watch, I try my best to answer the questions as quickly as I can. I try to answer before the kids do. I'll admit...I get a few right. The kids almost always seem to be impressed with me getting the answers correct. For some reason, they think I know all of the answers.

The truth is...I don't.

But history has a way of repeating itself.

When I was a kid, I'd watch Jeopardy and my dad would get a LOT of the answers correct. It was amazing. Away from the show, I could ask him any question...and he knew the answer. It didn't matter if it was about history or just about life. He had all the answers. I remember I'd ask him what a word meant...or how to spell a word. His response would always be the same... "Look it up." There was no internet in the 80s so when I had to look something up, it meant that I had to look it up in the dictionary. The reason why both he and my mother would encourage me to "look it up" was because if you take the time to search for something...when you find what it is...you're not likely to forget it. That always stuck with me. As much as I'd hate to "look" for stuff, it made a difference. And it also answered a lot of questions.

I've adopted that same theory with my kids. Sometimes I will answer their questions. Then there are times where I will tell them to "look it up". They don't need the dictionary. They have Google. I'm sure in my kids eyes...I have all of the answers. They probably view me the same way that I view my parents. Even to this day, it seems like they have all of the answers.

In reality, I don't have all of the answers. But I'm glad that they think that I do.

Childhood Memories 850

Check out the 12 RADIO SHOW. The 12 RADIO SHOW is the most innovative and interactive show on Blog Talk Radio. Tune in tonight at 9pm EST as the host, 12kyle, informs and entertains! Don't just listen to the show...be a part of the show and participate in the interactive chat room...or call in to speak with 12kyle and his co-hosts.

TOPIC - Childhood Memories 850 co-hosted by Dluvhall & VA Eazy. Join us for an entertaining and comical look childhood as we stroll down memory lane. You don't want to miss this show!

You can listen online (http://bit.ly/1GrIZTc) or via phone (347)215-7162. Press #1 if you want to speak to the host. You can also send tweets if you want to have your questions answered or comments to @12kyle

Follow the show on twitter: @12RadioShow. Also follow the host 12kyle on twitter: @12kyle

Childhood Memories 800

Check out the 12 RADIO SHOW. The 12 RADIO SHOW is the most innovative and interactive show on Blog Talk Radio. Tune in tonight at 9pm EST as the host, 12kyle, informs and entertains! Don't just listen to the show...be a part of the show and participate in the interactive chat room...or call in to speak with 12kyle and his co-hosts.

On this week's episode, we take a stroll down memory.

We ask questions like...

What was the first car that you had?

What was the best gift that you ever received at Christmas?

Where was your first job?

Join me & co-host ShellyShell as we reminisce! Don't miss it

You can listen online (www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle) or via phone (347)215-7162. Press #1 if you want to speak to the host.

Follow the show on twitter: @12RadioShow. Also follow the host 12kyle on twitter: @12kyle

5 Ways to Save Your Kids from Alzheimer’s Now…

5 Ways to Save Your Kids from Alzheimer’s Now...

Alzheimer’s isn’t just a disease that starts in old age. What happens to your child’s brain seems to have a dramatic impact on his or her likelihood of Alzheimer’s many decades later.

Here are five things you can do now to help save your child from Alzheimer’s and memory loss later in life, according to the latest research.

1. Prevent head blows: Insist your child wear a helmet during biking, skating, skiing, baseball, football, hockey, and all contact sports. A major blow as well as tiny repetitive unnoticed concussions can cause damage, leading to memory loss and Alzheimer’s years later.

2. Encourage language skills: A teenage girl who is a superior writer is eight times more likely to escape Alzheimer’s in late life than a teen with poor linguistic skills. Teaching young children to be fluent in two or more languages makes them less vulnerable to Alzheimer’s.

3. Insist your child go to college: Education is a powerful Alzheimer’s deterrent. The more years of formal schooling, the lower the odds. Most Alzheimer’s prone: teenage drop outs. For each year of education, your risk of dementia drops 11%, says a recent University of Cambridge study.

4. Provide stimulation: Keep your child’s brain busy with physical, mental and social activities and novel experiences. All these contribute to a bigger, better functioning brain with more so-called cognitive reserve.’ High cognitive reserve protects against memory decline and Alzheimer’s.

5. Spare the junk food: Lab animals raised on berries, spinach and high omega-3 fish have great memories in old age. Those overfed sugar, especially high fructose in soft drinks, saturated fat and trans fats become overweight and diabetic, with smaller brains and impaired memories as they age, a prelude to Alzheimer’s.

kids are watching / 12 RADIO SHOW

Kids watch EVERYTHING that you do. 

Having my own kids, I know this already.

But I've come to realize that they are watching when you least expect it.

Just the other day my daughter, Skyler, snuck into my office at home. She's 17 months old and very active. I turned my back and before I knew it, she had the mouse from my computer in her hand. Not only did she have the mouse but she was clicking on icons on my desktop. My first reaction was to take it from her. But since she didn't see me standing behind her, I let her proceed to click away. I called her name...she turned...and flashed a smile that said "Daddy, I know what I'm doing...leave me alone!" All I could do was laugh. 

Good thing she doesn't see me doing anything crazy!

Programming note. Be sure to tune in to the 12 RADIO SHOW tonight at 9pm. 

TOPIC - College Dayz with ShellyShell. Tune in as we wax poetic about

some of the best time in a person's life...their college dayz. You

will be entertained! Don't miss it!!!

(347)215-7162

www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle

ShellyShell

My Momma Don't Like You

Have you ever had to sit in front of someones parents as they asked you questions about yourself or the relationship that you have with their son or daughter?

Were you nervous? Did you leave a good impression on them?

Back in the day, I had no problem sitting in front of any of my girlfriends or homegirls parents. Nervous? Never. They all liked me. I don't think I tried to do or say anything special. I was just Kyle. And that's all that matters. I'm sure that they still like me. What's there NOT to like?

When I was dating my girlfriend in college (now my wife), I spoke to my future in-laws over the phone before I met them. They lived in Los Angeles at the time. I didn't meet them until I flew out there for Christmas in 1996. I remember my future mother-in-law greeting me at the airport with a huge bear hug and a kiss on the cheek. They liked me. Still do.

At some point, my kids will all sit in front of somebody's parents and they'll have to impress them. Long before that day comes, I will impart some wisdom on them.

1. Look people in the eye when you talk to them - this is very important. People won't believe you or what you have to say if you can't look them in their eyes

2. Keep good posture - never slump in your seat or bend over. Good posture is a non verbal factor that shows that you are confident

3. Make people comfortable - people are always comfortable when they talk about their favorite subject...THEMSELVES. Be inquisitive but maintain a dialog

4. Use good manners - self explanatory.

5. Be yourself - you can't be anybody else

I laugh when I think about Deion, Kameron, or Brandon talking to their date's parents. As for Skyler, I'll teach her these things too! Be a lady...at all times.

I would want people to say the same thing about them as people said about me..."that kid is a good kid...I like him/her."

daddy no show

How can a man not have a relationship with his child and be completely okay with it???


This question was posed to me a few weeks ago by good friend of mine. My first thought... in answering the question... was to state the obvious...I don't know.

I honestly don't know. But it is deeper than that answer. For those of you who know me and those who read this blog, you know how I feel about fatherhood. To me, fatherhood is the most important job that I will ever have. I love it. I cherish it. I embrace it. I think I embody everything that I father should be for their child. That's not bragging... that's the truth. But this is what I've gotten from my father and what I've seen from my uncles. I'm simply trying to carry on tradition.

To a man that has kids, fatherhood should be their EVERYTHING. These are the people who are totally dependent upon you. And I don't mean monetarily. As a man, you have to set the example for your child. No excuses. So when you choose not to take an active role in your child's life, what kind of messages are you sending? Do you want to be one of those fathers who wakes up one day and doesn't even know who their child is? Conversely, are you okay with your child not knowing who YOU are?

Relationships and marriages sometimes fail... and we all know that. Kids never asked to come here but they are created by two consenting adults. And as adults, we all should take an active participation in their growth and development for their entire life.

So what if she was just your baby's mama...

Who cares if the marriage didn't work?

Don't be mad because you fell out of love?

If you have a child from her... step up and be a man. Your child needs more than a few dollars and a couple of sneakers. They need you!!! There's nothing worse in life than seeing an old father who has missed many years of their child's life that they could never reclaim. And they want to reestablish a relationship.

Lastly, I am always amazed at the women who find these men and create MORE children with them. If you didn't take care of his kids before he met you, what makes you think that he will take care of the kids that you create? That makes no sense.

Never uphold a man who shuns his responsibilities because when you do you are a part of the problem

the definition

I've never been a firm believer in following the crowd.

I think you should always be your own man...or woman.



What is the definition of a man? What is the definition of a woman? For some reason, society has adapted the the theory that if you've reached the age of 30 and don't have a husband/wife and kids, then you're somewhat "behind where you should be." That makes no sense to me. Since when did having a spouse and kids make you a man or a woman. While I am grateful to have a spouse and kids, they don't define me. I define me. And YOU define who YOU are...not society.

I've got 5 close homies who are...good dudes, over the age of 30, college educated, have good jobs, attractive and they aren't married and don't have any kids. Should they be "settled down"? I don't think so. That's their choice.

Maybe they aren't ready for it?

Maybe they aren't at that stage in their life?

Maybe that's NOT what they want?

Some people in society will lead you to believe that "something is wrong with them" if they weren't married or have kids. The truth is...marriage ain't for everybody. Some people don't wanna be married. Some people have NO desire to have kids. I respect those who feel that way. Truth be told, there are a ton of parents who have NO business being parents. Those are the ones who should have never had kids. But I digress...

It's even worse for women. I know several women who are great woman...over 30, college educated with multiple degrees, good jobs, attractive, and they are without a husband and kids. Does that mean that they've failed? Does that mean that they are CRAZY? Everybody goes to different things at different times in life. People lose sight of that. There's a time and a place for EVERYTHING. No matter if you're male or female...when you desire a spouse and kids...and you're ready...it'll happen for you.

Don't let society tell you otherwise.

u name it

A month from now, my family will welcome it's newest member...

It's a boy...

Anutha boy...

We're excited...

I can't wait for the lil fella to get here.

I hope he's healthy.

I'm excited about having my second nephew...

Oh...don't get it twisted. I'm sure that the first lines may have made you think that I was having another child! LOL! Nah, we're done and very content with our 3 soldiers. Trust me!

The newest edition will be named Braydon. He'll have an older sister (Taylor) and an older brother (Tyler). I asked my brother why he and my sister in law chose that name. I can't remember the answer but he liked it. I do, too. We named our sons...Deion, Kameron, and Brandon. As you can see, both me and my brother have given our children very common names. I've never been a fan of exotic names. I don't knock those who have exotic names because they can't help it. However, I do scratch my head when I hear some names that today's parents have given to their kids...like JaMarkwon for example.

I guess in '72 you could say that the name Kyle was exotic. I guess? It was rare. My mom named me that because she had a co-worker, who happened to be white, and she liked the name. I found the name to be very rare growing up. I had only met 5 people named Kyle through my school years. And they were all white. When I got to college, I met 2 black people named Kyle (a dude and a chick). Nevertheless, I like name. Always have.

kyle- a narrow channel of water between two islands or between an island and the mainland; a strait or sound. (Scotish/Gaelic)

What about you?

Does your name have a meaning? (*first names only...some of you may be on a WANTED list...lol*)

If you have kids...what are their names? Do they have a meaning? If you DON'T have kids, what would you name the kids that you plan to have?

Hollatchaboi

birdznthabeez

I think it might be that time...

Time to have that talk...

Time to talk about the birds and the bees...

Or is it too early?

All of you who know me and those of you know who me through this medium, you know that there is nothing that I enjoy more that being a father. Being a father is the most rewarding and challenging jobs that I'll ever have. It's the most important job that I'll ever have. I'll always be a father to my 3 sons. My oldest son, Deion, is 10 yrs old. He's a very unassuming kid. He's very outgoing, the kinda kid that everybody likes, very smart, very perceptive, very witty... (a chip off da ole block). He's not far from puberty. He's at the stage of his life where he doesn't say "ewww" when you talk to him about girls. He doesn't have a girlfriend yet and I think he's a few yrs away from that.

I think at some point in time this year...he and I will discuss the birds and the bees. I will talk to him about sex.

At the age of 10 or 11...is it too early to talk to him about sex? I don't think so. I was having this discussion with a close friend of mine the other day. She told me that she has already talked to her daughter about sex and she's 10. She also told me that she is STILL waiting on her parents to talk to her about sex. LOL. That was a conversation that never happened. Well, it won't go down like that in my house. It's up to me to talk to Deion, Kameron, and Brandon about this. It's not something that I can expect my wife to talk to them about. No...this a conversation that must go down between us. The men.

I will tell Deion many of the same things that my Dad told me. Besides the act of sex, "you treat a woman like you would want a man to treat your sister, cousin, or mother." He also said not to "sleep with just any chick...make sure that she's special." I would like for him to wait until he's mentally and emotionally ready. Sex changes things. We, as grown ups, can have a hard time dealing with sex! It's even more complicated when you're younger. I'll talk about and show him how to put on a condom. And I will make sure that I answer any questions.

I want to make sure that he knows that he can talk to me about sex. He's not gonna talk to my wife about it. I want to may sure that I leave that door open so that he knows that I'm here for him. I don't want him to find out about sex in the streets or on the Internet.

What do you remember about your conversation about the birds and the bees?

How have (will) you handle it with your child?

Hollatchaboi

teach and learn

When it comes to school, I don't play.

I demand that my sons do well in school.

Mediocrity is not an option.

A few weeks ago, my oldest son, Deion came home with a "C". He's 10yrs old and is in the 5th grade. He's an A student. So, I was NOT happy to see a "C" on his progress report. I realized that he had gotten a C because he had 3 homework assignments that he did not turn in. The strange thing is that he DID the homework. He just didn't turn it in!!!

Huh?

That left me scratching my head. How can you do it but not turn it in?

I happened to be out of town when my wife called me and told me about the grade. I was furious. I told her to put Deion on the phone. My wife tried to tell me to take it easy on him but I wasn't trying to hear her. When Deion got on the phone, I went off! I didn't curse (my sons have never heard me curse) but I let him have it. When he tried to explain, I told him that I didn't want to hear it and I didn't want to talk to him.

Should I have said that? Probably not.

My wife called me the next day and she said that after we got off the phone he cried as if he had gotten the worst spanking in the world. He was hollering! She said that he woke up the next morning and he was crying uncontrollably. She tried to cheer him up but he wouldn't snap out of it. He was hurt. I had no idea. After she told me what happened, I knew that I had to say something. I asked her to give him the phone. She tried but he didn't want to talk. What? He doesn't want to talk?

I told my wife to put the phone in his hand and to FORCE him to talk if she had to. After a few moments, he finally took the phone from her. I began the conversation by apologizing. Apparently, when I told him that I didn't want to talk to him...he thought that meant that his Dad didn't like him anymore...didn't love him like I love his 2 younger brothers.

I quickly reminded him that I DID love him. I reminded him that he was still my "main man". However, I was disappointed in what he had done. There was no excuse for not turning in his work. I reminded him of the many hours that he spends doing his homework and he should have turned the work in as soon as he walked in class. I reminded him that I needed him to be the leader for his brothers. You can't lead if you aren't doing the right things. He said he understood. I told him that I loved him and he said "I love you too, Daddy."

Lesson learned...sometimes words can hit harder than a fist. Always be mindful of what you say and how you say it.

Always remember that kids don't come with instructions. Parenting is a constant work in progress.

Even when you come down on a child, you should always end the conversation with a positive thought or a word of encouragement. It's usually the last thing that they hear...


Holla!!





Also check out a post that I wrote on Sista Sports...http://bit.ly/5PiM7L

3 Times Dope

Just wanted to take a second to give you a visual of the 3 most important people in the world to me. I can't begin to describe the love that I have for them and the way that I light up when I talk about them. They are the reasons why I do what I do, why I bust my azz errrrryday at work, why I strive to be the man and the example that they need me to be.

Deion...age 8
Kameron...age 5
Brandon...age 1

Deion is the happy-go-lucky peace maker in our house. Kameron is the jokester. He's very witty and funny (see our convo )
And then there's Brandon. He runs the house...he just doesn't pay any bills.