Magic...25 years later

November 7, 1991

I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was a freshman at SOUTH CAROLINA STATE UNIVERSITY. It was almost 6pm. I had just finished football practice when I made my way to the dorm. I heard somebody say "____ has AIDS".

My reply was "Man, don't say shit like that. You'll end up starting a nasty rumor."

It took a few mins to make my way to the 3rd floor to my room. When I got upstairs, a few of my teammates looked real sad. I didn't know why. I didn't ask. I proceeded to head to my room. I turned the tv on to watch the news. And it happened.

BOOM!!!

I saw Magic Johnson on tv and he was announcing that he had HIV and would be retiring from the NBA.

WHAT????

Are you kiddin me?

Magic wasn't gay. How could this be? I'll admit that I wasn't a HUGE fan of his because I was a Michael Jordan fan. But I gave Magic his props because he was a winner...just like me. Keep in mind that in 1991, we thought that this would be the last time that we saw him on tv. HIV would kill him within 2 yrs. That's what we thought. Well, it's been 25 years and Magic is healthy and living with HIV. I remember seeing some dudes CRYING when they heard the news. As the word spread throughout our campus, we all were concerned about our own vulnerability. At that time, I knew very little about HIV/AIDS. I just knew...you didn't want to be around people who had it so you wouldn't "catch it", it was a gay disease, and you would die from it. That's all that I knew. Honestly, Magic was the only person that I "knew" who had it. I really thought the next time that I saw Magic he'd be frail and look like death. But a funny thing happened after Magic's announcement...


I think his announcement made me become more knowledgeable about HIV/AIDS. I learned as much as I could. I also tried to educate those around me. In my research, I learned how homophobic I had become. It wasn't something that I was totally aware of...but I was doing it. I wasn't raised to be prejudiced towards anybody. But I realized that I had to look at myself and my thought process. I had to become tolerable of ALL people. It was at that point where I began to let go and not be homophobic. I saw people for who they were. It didn't matter who they loved or slept with. I became even more sympathetic to those who suffered from this disease. I learned that it wasn't something you could "catch". Magic's announcement helped me do all of this.


In 2007, I got a chance to meet Magic. It was on the set of TNT's "Inside the NBA" where Magic worked along side host Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith, and Charles Barkley. I got a chance to speak to him and talk a little basketball with him. We sat in the green room...just my wife, 2 other people, Ernie, Charles, Kenny, Magic, and me...and we watched NBA games until they went on the air. I found Magic to be just as cool and as engaging as I thought he'd be. While we didn't talk long, I enjoyed it. I really wanted to thank him for all that he had done for the HIV/AIDS movement. I wanted to tell him how much I respected him as a player but hated the Lakers. I wanted to also tell him about how we thought his announcement would be his death sentence but he made it. I didn't want to be to deep but I wanted to tell him how I became a fan of his that day...and I've been a fan ever since...but I wasn't a fan before (if that makes sense). I just wanted to say thanks for all that he had done. Unlike that day 25 years ago, he was the only person that I knew who had HIV. Over the years, I would lose family members and people who I knew to the deadly disease. While there is no cure and Magic will live with HIV for the rest of his life, I wanted to thank him for opening my eyes as well as the eyes of millions of people around the world.


In parting...all I could say was...


"Take care of yourself, Magic."


"I DEFINITELY will do that!"


Thanks Magic

PODCAST: thank you, Prince

As the world mourns the death of Prince, I took a moment to reflect on Prince and what he meant to me and millions of others. I also shared a funny groupie story about me and Prince.

Rest in Peace...Prince Rogers Nelson.

Gone too soon

June 7, 1958 – April 21, 2016

LISTEN and SUBSCRIBE to the 12kyle Podcast

iTunes (https://itun.es/us/RZVM_.c)

Stitcher (http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/12radio/the-12kyle-podcast)

Soundcloud (www.soundcloud.com/twelve-kyle)

Overcast FM (https://overcast.fm/itunes1067121899/the-12kyle-podcast)

Pocket Casts (http://pca.st/wmVA)

Facebook (www.facebook.com/twelvekyle)

Instagram (instagram.com/12kylepodcast)

Twitter (@12kyle)

Twitter (@12kylepodcast)

Blogger (http://the12planet.blogspot.com)


CLICK BELOW...

Freddie Gray and Baltimore...through our eyes (show preview)

WHO: 12 Radio Show - host 12kyle & co-host, Krishna

WHAT: Freddie Gray and Baltimore...through our eyes

WHERE: www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle or (347)215-7162

WHEN: Tonight from 9pm-11pm est

WHY: You know why!!!!

throw ya gunz in the air

"Throw ya gunz in the air!!! And buck-buck like ya just don't care!!!" - Onyx

I don't think I've ever heard more screams for gun control in my life. People want assault weapons banned. Some want ALL guns banned. The discussion about guns have divided this country more than ever. I have no problem with people wanting to own guns. It's your right.

"Like short sleeves, I bear arms." - Jay Z

People have been calling to get these high magazine assault weapons off the street for years. But the calls have become screams ever since that idiot decided to murder innocent 6 & 7 yr old kids in a school in Newtown, CT. Hearing that news bothered me. But that scene, is being played out on street corners all across this nation in cities like Chicago, Philly, Atlanta, LA, Detroit, and New Orleans. Over the last month, Chicago has as violent as the Gaza Strip. Many of those killed look JUST like me. And let's be real, if kids were getting killed like this in the suburbs...the National Guard would be called in. I'm not making it a black or white issue. Just calling it like I see it.

"AK-47 is the tool. Don't make me act a mutherf*%kin fool."- Ice Cube

If owned an AK, I'm using it to KILL somebody. I don't need an AK to hunt Bambi. I'm all for protecting yourself. And I'm ALL for protecting me and my family. Believe me, if I felt threatened, I would pull the trigger as easy as it is to breathe. But I don't need an AK-47 to protect me or my family. I respect anybody's desire to own one but they don't need one. A handgun? Sure. Shotgun? Cool. AK-47? Nah man. You don't need it. I can understand why people don't want the government to tell them what they can or can't own. But let's use some common sense.

"I never pulled my gun on nobody who didn't deserve it."- Omar from The Wire

I always find it comical to listen to these gun rights advocates and the clowns at the NRA. They want these guns but they have no idea. If you're in your big house in the hills, you are oblivious to how things are out here. Let me interview them. I'd ask...

"Have you ever heard bullets ring out and you had to hit the ground because you didn't know where they were coming from?"

"Have you ever been shot? Ever been shot at?" It ain't a good feeling

"Have you ever seen a bullet riddled body? Have you ever lost anybody in your family to gun violence?"

They don't understand. They never will

As soon as somebody can convince me why we SHOULD have these guns on the street, I'll go get me an arsenal like TI.

in the blink of an eye

In the blink of an eye...your WHOLE life can change.

I know that.

You do too!

Sometimes things happen in life and you stop in your tracks.

On Sunday night...June 3...something terrible happened. A Chrysler Pacifica traveling eastbound on Hwy 78 near Stone Mountain (Ga) Park went off the highway and crashed into a wooded area. The driver had lost control of the vehicle. The driver was not alone in the car. The driver's kids...two girls (15 & 11) and two boys (9 &8) were also in the car with him. After the crash, only the boys were able to get out of the car. When the driver could not find his cellphone to call for help, he decided to walk to a nearby restaurant to get help. While it is unclear why he left his daughters (I think it was because either he couldn't get them or he thought they were dead), he and his sons walked a mile to get help. When they got to the restaurant, they called the police. While in the restaurant, the driver and his sons were captured by the restaurant's surveillance camera. The driver was clearly distraught on the camera. The video, which would later be played on the local news in Atlanta, shows a man who appeared to be off balance at time. The paramedics arrived and treated the boys who appeared to suffer minor scratches. The police arrived at the restaurant within minutes. Then, they visited the site where the vehicle had been crashed. The 11 yr old girl was still alive. She had suffered fractures and an injury to the head. The 15 yr old was dead. The police say that the driver, Anthony Johnson, caused the accident. They surmised that he had been drinking. The police arrested him and charged him with DUI, vehicular homicide and failure to maintain a lane.

I know Anthony Johnson. Not personally...but I know him. He is the father of a kid on the football team that I coach.

The kid, Nehemiah, was one of the best kids that was on our team 2 yrs ago. Although he didn't play on our team last year, he was back on our team this year. He is a good kid. He's kinda quiet but a good athlete and one of the best kids who we lined up at cornerback that year. And he has a big smile that could light up a room. He was back with our team just 2 weeks ago when we started doing our summer conditioning program on Sunday afternoons. I saw Mr Johnson and gave him a pound and hug when I saw him. I thanked him for letting me coach his son again this year. As a coach, you feel like each kid is yours because of the bonds that are shared on and off the field. This story hits close to home because I think Mr.Johnson...from what I could see...is a great father.

I feel for Nehemiah. I wish I could see the kid and give him a hug. I don't know what he went through during that accident. I don't know how he'll move on at the age of 9 as he has lost his oldest sister and his father is facing jail time. I don't know what Mr. Johnson was thinking when he got behind the wheel. Was he drunk? The police seem to think so. Johnson is now out on bail and will be awaiting trial. But how do you console him when he knows...whether he was drunk or not...he has lost his child. As a parent, you NEVER want to out live your child. The mere thought of being on this earth without my children can bring tears to my eyes. None of us know Mr. Johnson's pain. I feel for him. I don't know if I'll coach Nehemiah this year. At this point, it doesn't matter. I just hope he and his family will be okay. Time will tell

All I can do is pray for them.

let's get physical

Kool Moe Dee once wrote a song about it going to see the doctor.


I'm a firm believer in it.


I also believe that as men...we are the LAST ones to go to the doctor.


Last month, I had my annual physical check up. I'll be the first to admit that I wasn't looking forward to it. Not sure why. I guess it was the fear of the unknown. I knew I was in good health. I work out regularly (not as much as I should)...I eat good (still addicted to McDonalds fries)...and I don't drink much (I visit Margaritaville every now and then). Yet, I was still concerned. Nevertheless, the visit came out fine. I'm in good health. The doctor and I discussed among other things...testing for prostate cancer beginning next year, my desire to live to the age of 125 (no lie), and my successful vasectomy last May (4 kids is enough, yo)


One thing that I took from the conversation is that we don't go see the doctor enough. Most women go all the time. And while they may not jump for joy to get that pap smear, they have doctor visits. We have to go. And go often. We're getting older. I've always been serious about my health. But it hits home when you see people your age leave this earth. I lost a teammate (http://the12planet.blogspot.com/2011/09/gentle-giant.html) a few months ago and that really opened my eyes.


I'm committed to my health. That's not a New Years Resolution. That's a fact. You may not find me on the track like my homegirl Latrice (@Rungirl_) or my boy Tee Reese (http://offtrackthinking.blogspot.com/ )but I am committed. More importantly, I'm all for getting my checkups. I need more men to join me. Ladies, send your men to the doctor. He can't be in your life if he's no longer here on earth.

Gentle Giant

GIANT

To say that Orlando "Zeus" Brown was a giant is an understatement. The man stood tall at 6 foot and 8 inches. He weighed about 325 pounds when I met him in the fall of 1991. We were on the campus of South Carolina State University. He was my teammate. He was the biggest human being that I had ever seen. My first thoughts when I saw him..."Damn, I hope this guy plays offense like me." Fortunately, he did.

His mother nicknamed him Zeus because of her love for Greek Mythology.

On September 23, 2011...Zeus left this earth. He was only 40 years young. The news of his death shocked me. I'm still in shock. And while the cause of his death has not been determined, we mourn. Many of you reading this know what the media has reported about him...he played 11 seasons in the NFL for the Cleveland Browns & the Baltimore Ravens...he was once hit in the eye by an errant flag thrown by a referee that left his eye swollen, bloody and it caused him to push the referee and be suspended by the NFL...he sued the NFL for 200 million dollars (settled for 25 million)...he was one of the best to play his position when he played in the NFL...

I won't bore you with stuff that the media will tell you about the man. I'll tell you what I KNOW about the man.

Zeus was a GREAT player...but an even greater teammate. Zeus was one of the guys. He was a star but he always wanted to be one of the guys and not be treated like a star. One of my first memories of Zeus was during my freshman year. I had only been at school for a few weeks. I was getting homesick and I was down about not playing. Zeus stopped me in the dorm. He said "Aye young'n...where are you from? I saw you at practice today. Keep workin hard man. You're gonna play here." Those words stuck with me. I was surprised that an upperclassman would take the time to even speak to a lonely freshman! Two days later, he stopped by my room and said..."I'm going to get something to eat. Roll with me." I did. During that ride, I learned alot about my mammoth teammate. He was from DC (HD Woodson High School)...loved go-go music (which he blasted all the way to Burger King but I wasn't gonna tell him to turn it down)...how he earned his nickname, etc. I remember when we walked in...his 6 foot 8 inch frame dwarfed me at 5 foot 7 (150 pounds with rocks in pocket). I remember the looks and stares that we got when we walked in. Even though he weighed more than 300 pounds, Zeus wasn't fat. He was mostly muscle. Unlike most big people, he seemed very comfortable in his skin. He stood tall. Zeus was always smiling, laughing, and joking.

One of the other things that I remember about Zeus is that he was extremely competitive! He hated to lose! I remember being in the dorm one night and beating Zeus 3 consecutive times in Madden on Sega Genesis. I was talking trash. He said "Let's play again." I said "Man, I'm not playing you any more tonight, Zeus. It's almost 2am and I have a class at 8am." But he insisted...and I wasn't gonna tell the Big Fella 'no'. So we played and I won. The next day after we had both finished our classes...can you guess who was waiting for me in my dorm room to play again??? Big Zeus! He was determined to beat me! The ultimate competitor.

It came as no surprise to me that Zeus would be a success in the NFL. When you have the talent and the competitive nature that he had, he was destined for it. It wasn't a surprise that Zeus would go on to open a successful Fatburger restaurant in the DC area. I wasn't surprised to hear about his charitable donations to HD Woodson, SC State, and to the DC community. Zeus had it in him.

The last time that I spoke with him was a few years ago. Same ole Zeus. Crackin jokes and being who he was. You could hear the excitement in his voice when he spoke of his 3 sons. He was a proud father. I could only laugh because I remember him from school and I could see the growth in him. He was the SAME dude that he was the day that he stopped me in the dorm. No matter how much money he had. He was still one of the guys. He never changed. I never got a chance to hear him tell this STORY ABOUT HIS SCARY 9/11 EXPERIENCE in NYC (please click link and read). But I can only imagine hearing him tell it.

Zeus was a giant. A gentle giant off the field. He was almost like a big bear but you always wanted to be around a dude like that. I remember when he was in the NFL and he'd be on tv, I'd tell people..."That's my dude right there!" Since his death, I've gotten a few phone calls from former teammates who I hadn't heard from in years. I've been able to re-connect with some people on Facebook as well. Everybody had a story or a great memory of Zeus.

Guess you could say that this is mine.

Father, Brother, Son, Friend, Businessman, Teammate

Big Zeus...we're gonna miss you man! Rest in peace

the dash

There's an old saying in life.

"There are two dates that matter. The date of birth and the date of death."

I think this is true. We have no control over these dates. We didn't know when we'd be born. And we don't know when we will die. Death is a certainty of life. I've always joked that I will live until I am 135. I believe that. Nevertheless, I do believe that we all serve our purpose on this earth. I think we're here until God feels like we should no longer be here. It doesn't matter if you're here for 9 days or 99 yrs.

If you see someones timeline, it looks like this 1950 - 1999.

The number's are there and we can't control them. The thing that we can influence is the DASH.

The DASH represents what you have done on this earth. The dash represents your infinite possibilities on the is earth.

Remember that you control your dash.

8-24-09

8-24-09

I remember that day like it was yesterday

It started with an upset stomach. That rarely happens. Nevertheless, I went on to work despite feelin like shit. Once I got to work, I was immediately met with some drama about something that I had done wrong. Now, I was pissed off AND I didn't feel well. I pressed on...

As the day progressed, my supervisor continued to annoy me about petty stuff. I was completely out of my zone. I called my wife and told her that I was tired of the micromanaging and I was about to cuss this chick out. I left the building for lunch to catch some fresh air. When I came back to the office, I tried to get back into my zone but I couldn't. I felt strange. I didn't know why. For some reason, my stomach was killing me again. I thought to myself...This has been a shitty day. What else could go wrong???

Then it happened. I got a text message at 2:45 from my friend Stacy. It read...

By the time u read this it will be to late. I love all of u.you have been great friends and family. I just cant do this anymore my life is done

Huh? What is Stacy talkin about? That's what I was thinking. I read the text again. Scratched my head for a second. The text message sounded suicidal. I had talked to Stacy 2 weeks prior to getting this text message. Stacy was going through some hard times. Stacy was about to be unemployed. Got fired because of some bs. Not only did Stacy lose the job but Stacy had a several relationships that had gone bad. With huge financial/personal issues, Stacy had decided to send this text message as a last goodbye to family and friends. I couldn't believe it. I have been tight with Stacy since high school. I sat at my desk for a minute...dazed. I stepped away from my desk and called Stacy. No answer. I tried again...no answer. Then I tried again...no answer. I called my wife and told her about the text message. She advised me to call one of my boys who lived near Stacy. At this point, I'm freaking out because I can't reach Stacy.

Hours go by. Still no answer. I finally get Stacy's brother's phone number. My worse fear had been confirmed.

Stacy had attempted suicide.

The news hit me like a ton of bricks. I was numb. Why would Stacy want to leave this earth? Times are hard and I know that. I think that no matter how bad things are you still have to do what you have to do to make things better. Jobs, friends, girlfriends/boyfriends/spouses will all come and go. As long as you have air in your lungs, you're ok. That's the way that I feel.

I spoke with Stacy later that day. I really didn't know what to say. I was hurt. I was pissed off. I was mad. I was confused. Not only did Stacy send that text message to me but to Stacy's siblings and parents. I really didn't say that much to Stacy that day. There was so much that I wanted to say but I couldn't. There are so many issues. Depression is one. Too often (especially in the black community), we never address the issue of depression. We ignore it. Did I ignore it in Stacy? I don't think so. Nevertheless, Stacy is getting help and counseling. I spoke with Stacy last week and it was almost like old times. Lots of laughs and jokes.

I'll be honest. I wasn't even gonna write this post. This happened nearly 2 months ago and I finally had the mindset to put it out there. I try to keep things positive. I've read blogs about stuff and become sad after reading it. That's not the intent here. Far too many times, we ignore the little things in people. The small cries for help. Sometimes we never know until it's too late. It's ok to tell somebody and show somebody that you care. More importantly, it's good to show them that they mean something to somebody. Far too many times we're left with unanswered questions.

I'm just glad that my friend has a second chance...

a trail of Indigo

As many of you know, on sunday we lost someone who was near and dear to us. Nikki Harris aka Nikki Indigo, who was the author of the blog Indigo Trail of My Thoughts, passed away due to complications from a rare autoimmune disease called dermatomyositis. The disease attacted her lungs and ultimately took her from us. Nikki was known and loved by many for her great sense of humor and charm.

I met Nikki through this blog. I had only known her for about a year. She would always come here to the 12th Planet and bless me with some funny commentary. If there was something debatable, Nikki never held her tongue. She was not going to agree with me "just because this is my blog." I liked Nikki. Her warm spirit always made you feel better. She always had something to say. We both shared a love for music, blogging, Facebook, Twitter, and sports!

The funny thing is...I never met Nikki.

We told each other that we were gonna hang out and catch a game but we never did.

I knew that she had been in and out of the hospital but was never sure why. I spoke with Nikki 3 days before she left us. I asked her why was she back in the hospital. She told me that they were running more tests and that she may need a lung transplant. She never mentioned the disease nor the severity of it. I know that lung transplants are serious but the way she spoke...she made it sound as innocent as getting a tooth pulled. I told her that I'd pray for her and I know that she'd be out of the hospital soon. I believed that. I also asked her if she wanted me to sneak some wings and beer into the hospital. And of course, Nikki said something funny that made me laugh. That said a lot about who she was. She was in the hospital and she was saying things that made others laugh or smile. For those of you who were friends with on Facebook like me, you know that she would say something that would make you laugh...or shake your head at her charm.

Little did I know that it was the last time that we'd share another laugh.

I think we would still want her here with us but that is for selfish reasons. She is in a much better place.

Here is the last status update that she posted on Facebook...

"Nikki Harris is watching the sun rise with a child's ability to hope, a teen's stubborness to fight, and an adult's recognition of faith, wearing the smile of a fighter."

God Bless you Nikki. May you forever rest in peace.

Rare Air

I'm gonna offer a different perspective of Steve McNair. I want to tell you some things that you may or may not know about the man. I never had the opportunity to meet the man but I knew of him quite well. My former college teammate, Anthony Cook, was drafted in the same year as McNair by the Houston Oilers. They were teammates for several years. Another good friend, Eddie Robinson, Jr, played several years with McNair and was on the team that McNair led to the Super Bowl. McNair and I also graduated the same year. His school, Alcorn State, never played my school, South Carolina State but I followed his career. I felt like I knew him. In the game of football, there's a brotherhood. You don't have to be on the same team but we all share a bond. Nevertheless, I knew Steve McNair.

I knew Steve McNair as Air McNair

I knew Steve McNair was a helluva quarterback

I knew Steve McNair gained more than 6000 yds rushing and passing and threw for 53 touchdowns during his senior year.

I knew Steve McNair was the highest draft pick to come from a HBCU.

I knew Steve McNair led the way for the current crop of black quarterbacks in the NFL. When he entered the NFL, some media referred to him as a "black quarterback". When was the last time you've heard somebody refer to Donovan McNabb's skin color.

I knew that Steve McNair played the violent game of football in pain. He played hurt...a lot.

I knew that Steve McNair ALMOST won a Super Bowl on a great last drive.


I don't know Steve McNair.

I don't know about why Steve McNair was "dating" this 20 yr old woman.

I don't know what kinda marital problems Steve McNair was having.

I don't know what kinda husband or father Steve McNair was.

I don't know why Steve McNair was cheating.

One thing I do know...it ain't my none of my damn business! And it ain't yours, either! For the past few days, I've listened to this man's name be degraded, judged and dragged through the mud by many people who have done the same thing. Even if you've never cheated, no one should pass judgement on the man. Steve McNair didn't kill himself. He was murdered in cold blood. He was the VICTIM.

Infidelity does not normally lead to death. Over the past few days, I've listened to people say things that have really pissed me off. Steve didn't ask to be murdered. Steve's infidelity should not have taken him off this earth. You could say that the infidelity was a by-product that led to his death but McNair didn't deserve this. McNair's legacy will be what he did on the field and his charitable contributions off the field. His legacy will not be about some young, crazy woman who didn't think much about her life nor his. Keep this in mind, Steve McNair was MURDERED by somebody who he trusted. And there have been some to suggest that he "brought this on himself." That's bullshit. It does't matter what you think about his decisions to date a 20 year old waitress despite being a married man with 4 sons. He's dead and there ain't no coming back from that.

I don't think this will serve as a lesson to men (or women) who cheat. Magic Johnson got HIV in '91 and yet there are STILL people have babies by 3 or 4 different baby mammas. The lesson here is that you must be careful of the company that you keep...male or female.

Shame on those of you who are throwing stones. Steve McNair was somebody's father, son, brother, uncle, cousin, friend, teammate, frat brother, and yes...husband. They will mourn him forever when this story is no longer a headline.

I may have pissed some of you off with this post. If i did...good! Put the stone down. You don't know Steve McNair

I do.