high school dayz

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TOPIC - High School Dayz...

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On this episode, we're going to take a trip down memory lane! Join us as we discuss our memorable moments from high school. We'll discuss our likes/dislikes, different subjects, high school best friends, popularity, activites, teachers, good/bad memories from high school. You don't want to miss this!!! Join us! Share your experiences!


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a friend

I could never be like her, him, or you. I learned that I could only be

Never tried to be like anybody else once I found me.

When I was created, God shaped and formed my mold

I was given earthly talents and touched with a spiritual soul

I've extending my hand of friendship to many

For I was created to be a friend...not someone you'd envy

Strong, stern...yet poised and direct

Far from the type of friend who you could be bought with a check

I was injected with love and life to share to all

You know that if you need me, all it takes is a call

Flushed with the desires and aspirations to be great

Your friendship should always be on time and never should be late

Loyalty means everything to me

A true friendship is on display for the world to see

It can be about a look...a laugh...or a tear

Your words put their minds at ease and relax their fears

People always as what they would do for their friends

The answer should be "Everything." Because we are friends until the end

What kind of friend are you? Are you the friend that I see in me

Friends last forever...through love...because it's their destiny.

Back in Tha Day Vol 5 (Childhood Memories) 12 RADIO SHOW

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lost ones

Some of my fondest memories of playing football came when I was 8 yrs old. 

I would always play sandlot football with all of my friends. 

I made sure that I was always on the same team with my buddy, EJ. He was one of my best friends. We were the same age and we always played together every day. EJ lived in the same apartment complex that I did. EJ and I always were on the same team when we played football because he could play quarterback and I could catch any ball that he threw to me. We were always tight but we formed a special bond when we played football. We both loved the game and loved school. We had similarities but we were different. While I lived with both of my parents, EJ lived with his aunt, her 4 kids, and her boyfriend. I don't ever remember meeting EJ's parents. He always said they were living in NYC and they were coming to get him for the summer. 

I lived in the building in the background of this picture. The area of grass behind the building was our "football field". We treated it like it was the Rose Bowl. That's where I honed my skills and where I learned the game. EJ and I would meet some days on the field just to play catch. We would spend hours every day outside. This was the early 80s! This was the era before video games and MTV. We knew how to have fun. We didn't realize that we didn't have much because everybody in the "projects" were just like us...black people living in low income housing. While you could never confuse our neighborhood with Cabrini Green or Bed Stuy, we didn't live in the nicest section of Florence, SC. I never felt unsafe, though. By the time I was 10, my parents bought a house and we moved away. I was still attending the same elementary school so I would still see my buddy, EJ at school. We'd play football at recess and have a good time. We never missed a beat. Friends forever.

"But like the old saying goes / Time goes on, and everybody grows." - Tupac Shakur

By the time I was 14, my parents divorced and I moved to another side of town. I was no longer going to school with EJ. I didn't have his phone number so we lost contact for a few yrs. On day during my junior of high school, I was hanging at the mall and I ran into EJ. We both were excited to see each other. We spent about an hour catching up. Much to my surprise, EJ was going to West Florence High (one of my high school's rivals). He was supposed to be going to South Florence but he got into some trouble and left. He told me that he knew I was at Wilson High and doing well on the football field. We exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch.

The following year was our senior year. The first game of the season was against West Florence. Whenever you play a rival, you want to win but I had more incentive because I knew EJ would be at the game. I couldn't let my homie down. I had a great game...5 catches for 125 yards, 1 touchdown. More importantly, we won. It's ALWAYS great when you beat West Florence. After the game, I looked for EJ. I didn't see him. I called him the next day but the number that I had was disconnected. Later that day, I drove past his aunt's house (they eventually moved from the apartment complex) but the house was empty. Not only was it empty but it was abandoned. EJ had moved but I didn't know where he was. I was disappointed that he had disappeared without even telling me where he was heading. It would be another year before our paths crossed again.

During the fall of my freshman year at South Carolina State University, I decided to come home one weekend. I was being red shirted on the football field so I wasn't playing. I was homesick so a trip to Florence was necessary. During the weekend, I decided to drive past my old neighborhood. I parked my car and decided to walk on the old "football field". Nothing looked the same. The buildings looked different. There were no kids playing outside. It looked gloomy. But it felt good to be back. I stood and thought about the days of playing football with EJ and my friends. All of a sudden, I heard someone call my name. It was EJ! I was shocked to see him. We greeted each other with a pound and a hug. I was happy to see him. He told me that he heard I was a "star football player" at SC State. I laughed and told him that I was just a lowly freshman trying to find my way. I asked him about where he had been for the past year and what happened to him. That's when the complexity of the conversation changed. EJ stumbled through a few lies before he admitted that he dropped out of school. He and his cousins had moved out of his aunts house back into the apartments. When I asked him what he was doing with his life, he quickly changed the subject. After EJ's cousin walked over to inform him that "somebody was waiting for him around the corner"...I realized that EJ was selling drugs. I didn't want to believe it at first. I gave EJ my number and told him to call me. I told him when I'd be home again and I suggested that we hang out. I even offered him to come to SC State to hang out with me. He looked at the ground...then he looked away and said..."Nah, Kyle. You've changed. Things have changed. And it ain't like how it used to be." Those words felt cold but that was his reality. I gave him a hug and a pound and told him to take it easy. I watched him walk away and around the corner.

I pondered those words for awhile. Had I really changed? Did I make him feel like we weren't cool anymore? I never tried to make him feel like I was successful and he wasn't. Maybe he saw that the two kids who were once the best of friends were headed in opposite directions. We were headed in different directions. That was the last day that I saw EJ. He'd spend the next few years selling drugs. He eventually got caught and went to jail. I heard that he eventually started using drugs. The past 5 yrs of EJ's life have consisted of him being in and out of jail and drug rehab. Sometimes when I go back to my hometown, I secretly hope I bump into him. There's a part of me that would like to see him. There's a part of me that doesn't want to see him. He's lost. I can't help him because he doesn't want to help himself. Rather than dwell on what we lost, I prefer to remember us as kids. And I'm cool with that.

not like my momma

Last week I got a phone call from one of my homies.

It was good to hear from my childhood friend. I hadn't talked to him in about 6 months. The last time that we spoke, he and his girlfriend had just move in together.

I asked him how things were going. He said the relationship was having issues. My boy is single, college educated, no kids, and has a great job. By society's definition, he's a "good catch".

He said..."Things are ok but there are times when I feel like we are just roommates. I didn't sign up for this. A relationship is supposed to be progressive. Sometimes i feel like we are spinning our wheels. It's mad frustrating."

I pressed him to be more specific.

He said..."She don't cook! It's rare that she cooks! I don't mind eating out but I can't do that shit EVERY DAY! I've talked to her about it and all she does is talk. No action. You feel me?"

I told him that I understood. I asked him "Are your hands broke? LOL. There's nothing wrong with YOU cooking. Because I work from home, it's easier for me to cook dinner and have it ready by the time everybody gets home. I can't say that I cook EVERY day but I cook several times a week. I grew up in a house where I saw my pops cook. So, I just assumed that it was something that I was supposed to do. I enjoy it."

He said..."Well, that's good for you man. I ain't going for all of that. I'm telling you man...they don't make em like our grandmothers or our moms. She don't do it like my momma."

12 RADIO SHOW

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Tonight's topic...FRIENDSHIPS - RELATIONSHIPS 212

co-hosted by Mrs. Inspiredmind

show link http://tobtr.com/s/3448923

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can you break the friend zone?

I found this article on Men's Health.com that I wanted to share with you.


I can't say that I agree with this because I think ONCE you're in that zone...there is NO WAY that you get out! But you tell me what YOU think!!

Want to make your girl friend your girlfriend? Of course you do. In a study where 88 opposite-sex pairs of friends filled out questionnaires about their relationship, guys were more likely to be attracted to their female pals than the other way around, the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found.

Men were also more likely to overestimate their female friends’ attraction to them. So if you find yourself wanting to jump from the Friend Ship to the Relation Ship—see what we did there?—abide by these four strategies to make the tricky transition go as smooth as possible. (But believe us: There are still plenty of Good Reasons Not to Sleep with Her.)

1. Assess the Situation

First, is she available? “If she has a boyfriend, is just getting over someone, or is confused about what she wants, it’s a red light,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., sexuality counselor and author of She Comes First. “Otherwise you’ll look like you’re trying to seize an opportunity, which could leave her feeling betrayed.” If, however, you spend lots of one-on-one time together, your interactions often feel like dates, or they have a romantic energy about them, those are good signs that you could become something more than friends.

2. Test the Waters

“In conversation mention, ‘Gee, if I were dating you, I would do x, y, z,’ and see her reaction to it,” suggests Amy Laurent, relationship expert and star of Bravo’s upcoming series Miss Advised. “If it makes her uncomfortable or she laughs and says, ‘Oh stop!’ with an awkward smile, you may be crossing the boundary and need to respect that she may simply just want to be friends with you.” But if she seems genuinely interested in how you would treat her—for instance, she asks follow-up questions to your hypothetical scenario—she may already be thinking you’re boyfriend material. (Learn how to Talk to Her about Anything.

3. Make a Pact

You have to know going in that there’s a risk of ruining your friendship if a relationship ultimately doesn’t work out, Laurent says. “Make a pact to not let that happen,” she adds. “If you’re going to risk a great friendship, make sure two elements—respect and communication—are always there. Because hopefully they’ll still be there and you can go back to being friends.”

4. Find the Right Moment

Telling her you want to date her while drunk and standing in the middle of a crowded bar surrounded by a group of friends: Bad idea, buddy. “Women are often very sensitive to context, so even if she feels the same way about you, she may not feel comfortable telling you in that moment,” Kerner says. Your game plan: Confess your feelings when the two of you are alone. “Make sure you’re in a fun, romantic context such as out to dinner, on a walk, or shopping together to help set the tone,” Kerner adds. “Then, depending on the situation, put your arm around her, hold her hand, or say, ‘I’m just going to do something here,’ and lean in for a kiss,” he adds. “These actions give her the opportunity to reciprocate if she feels the same way.”

i want a girl...when i want a girl

Sometimes I think I'm from another world
When I'm trynna tell a woman just exactly where I stand that
I want a girl, when I want a girl
And when I don't want a girl, I want a girl who understands that
And that's some hard shit to explain
To a woman that's in love with you, it's a pitiful thing
Until I had to figure
That I don't wanna play around, but I don't wanna settle down
And that's a man's dilemma, 'cause every man remembers
How his daddy and his uncles did it
'Cause more than likely that's the way they're gonna do it
I know it sound fucked up and most wont admit it - Phonte from Little Brother (Slow It Down)


Even though Phonte spit this verse when he was a member of the rap trio from North Carolina, Little Brother, the words still hold true. I can't speak for women but I can speak for most men when I say that we can all identify with this verse. It has applied to MOST of us at some point in our lives. We all get to that point when we WANT a woman. Then we get to that point when we DON'T want a woman. Sometimes committing ain't easy for us.


Two months ago I got a call from one of my boys. He told me that he was settling down. He said that he had met "the One". I was floored. In the 8 years that I've known him, I'd never seen him have a girlfriend...period. He always had women...but never one chick. He was the ultimate bachelor...college educated, smart, women thought he was good looking, no kids, good sense of humor, etc. Those kinda guys, at the age of 38, just don't fall out of the sky. Especially here in the city of Atlanta, a place where good lookin'/successful women outnumber men 20-1. He was the LAST one of my friends who I thought would ever settle down. An engagement will be coming soon and I think he'll be married within a year. But it made me think...

What makes a man settle down and get married? Men have been conditioned since their pre-teens to get as many women as they can. We were raised to be HUNTERS. Once you capture your "ultimate prey" you are supposed to put "your spear away." Makes sense, right? It doesn't make any sense but you get my point. Ladies...as your man...or any man for that matter if he envisioned himself being with ONE woman for 50,60, 70 years. Don't be mad at his answer. Most men will tell you that they grew up knowing that one day they'd be a father. Husband??? Not so much. And that's not to say that we grew up thinking we'd be somebody's "baby daddy". So what makes us settle down???

Finding a woman that will give YOU as much as YOU give them...unconditionally.

one or more???

Were we meant to be in one relationship?

Were we meant to date EVERYBODY and never commit?

Funny how these things come to my head. I heard this being discussed on talk radio the other day. I caught the end of it but what I heard made me think. I remember discussions that I've had with male and female friends. The perspectives from the males were vastly different from the females. Personally, I think there is SOMEBODY out there for everybody. Actually, there is more than one person for everybody. But does everybody want a girlfriend/wife or boyfriend/husband? I don't think so. As a man, we experience the ultimate journey. We go from being pimple faced teens who try to get as many girls as we can. Then, there's the girl that comes along who wants you all to herself. That transformation is a funny thing to see from a distance. The dude who used to run with the crew all the time gets transformed to a dude who is under his girlfriend all the time. And things change even more once we go from teens to men. Women have the same journey but I think they are more inclined to be in relationships and committed to one dude before men do.

I reached out to my partner in crime, JFresh, to get his perspective on it. J's a single dude with no kids and no serious relationship (*wink, wink). LOL. He offered this perspective...


Separate from all of our social conditioning is the base of our nature, desire. Desire doesn't necessarily have to refer to sexual desire, but the most primary desire to survive and satisfy cravings. Babies do this so effortlessly and we think it's cute. Babies eat, shit, sleep and cry when they don't any of those things exactly when they want it. Babies also masturbate when they want. These desires don't mature into social rules, rather we tend to curb these desires based on our training, upbringing. There is a never ending conflict between nature and nurture.

Being with ONE person is something existing between both nature and nurture. If you meet a person that makes you feel good, whether sexually or psychology caters to you, you want those feelings to continue, and logically so, you want to harness that source, own it. In my opinion, derived from studies, this is the birth of 'marriage', man's desire to own that which he likes. Still, this does not mean there is only one fruit that pleases our taste buds. It's not just man, but women have the same desires, hence, women are susceptible to the same weaknesses as a man. However, our societal construct has placed women in a position where they are the ones who have to behave in such manners as a "princess".

Now, as we know, no opinion or research findings are complete, but it would very difficult to argue that our true nature isn't to be free and satisfy our desires at will. Being with ONE person isn't being free, it's restricting and would imply that humans do not change. Heck, we barely want to eat the same foods everyday, but there is no turmoil concerning food because we can go to the grocery store and get what we want when we want it. A mate on the other hand can roam and hence becomes scarce, creating a demand which we then tend to pursue ownership of.

I could go on and on, and maybe I will expand on this further a little later. I came to this conclusion, or rather, understanding after reading several ideas from philosophy and psychology. I use to have similar discussions with my Human Sexuality professor in college and he agreed with my deductions, rather, he probably already had the same understanding.


Interesting...your thoughts?

juss friendz

Are we products of our environment?

Are we victims of circumstance?

Maybe we're somewhere in between?


Relationships are a funny thing when you think about it. Especially when it comes to marriage. You have a man. You have a woman. These two people grew up separately and have lived vastly different lives. They find some commonalities within each other that brings them together. They grow close. Love ensues. Then they decide to spend the rest of their ENTIRE lives together and expect it to work. Sounds perfect, right?

Right!

LOL!

I'm being funny but you get my point. I was having a conversation with a good female friend of mine and we were discussing marriage. During the conversation, I realized how "different" some of my views were on marriage. These views were shaped by the marriage that I saw crumble right before my eyes. My parents divorced when I was 14. It came as a total shock. One day we were a happy family. The next day, they sat me and my younger brother down to tell us that they were getting a divorce. It hit me like a ton of bricks. They never ARGUED and yet they were splitting up? You don't understand how things are when you're that young. You learn as you get older. I've done a 10 yr bid in this marriage thing. LOL. I've learned some valuable lessons over the years. Marriage is hard. It's work. It's work...even when you don't wanna work. Just like love. Love is the ultimate verb. It's something you DO. Marriage is rewarding, tho. I hear people talk all the time about wanting to get married. There's nothing wrong with that. The question is...do you want to PUT IN THE WORK?? It's like saying..."I want to be in the NFL". But if you're not willing to get your body in shape, then it's all pointless.

My parents had a messy divorce. Dad got married again. Mom is still single. I don't think they were ever the friends that you need to be when they got married. Did they rush into it? I dunno...I wasn't here. I can't say that they hated each other when it was over but there was some extreme dislike. But a funny thing happened some 13 yrs later...they became grandparents. It was then that they had something in common. They went from being distant strangers to grandparents who marveled with pride about their new grandson. I laugh at them now. They talk all of time. Safe to say they are friends now. Last year, they came to my house to celebrate Deion's 5th grade graduation. They actually stayed under the same roof...for the first time in more than 25 yrs.

Friendships should come before marriage. A strong friendship is the foundation. Always keep that in mind.

As for my parents, it came after marriage. And I'm cool with that.

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8-24-09

8-24-09

I remember that day like it was yesterday

It started with an upset stomach. That rarely happens. Nevertheless, I went on to work despite feelin like shit. Once I got to work, I was immediately met with some drama about something that I had done wrong. Now, I was pissed off AND I didn't feel well. I pressed on...

As the day progressed, my supervisor continued to annoy me about petty stuff. I was completely out of my zone. I called my wife and told her that I was tired of the micromanaging and I was about to cuss this chick out. I left the building for lunch to catch some fresh air. When I came back to the office, I tried to get back into my zone but I couldn't. I felt strange. I didn't know why. For some reason, my stomach was killing me again. I thought to myself...This has been a shitty day. What else could go wrong???

Then it happened. I got a text message at 2:45 from my friend Stacy. It read...

By the time u read this it will be to late. I love all of u.you have been great friends and family. I just cant do this anymore my life is done

Huh? What is Stacy talkin about? That's what I was thinking. I read the text again. Scratched my head for a second. The text message sounded suicidal. I had talked to Stacy 2 weeks prior to getting this text message. Stacy was going through some hard times. Stacy was about to be unemployed. Got fired because of some bs. Not only did Stacy lose the job but Stacy had a several relationships that had gone bad. With huge financial/personal issues, Stacy had decided to send this text message as a last goodbye to family and friends. I couldn't believe it. I have been tight with Stacy since high school. I sat at my desk for a minute...dazed. I stepped away from my desk and called Stacy. No answer. I tried again...no answer. Then I tried again...no answer. I called my wife and told her about the text message. She advised me to call one of my boys who lived near Stacy. At this point, I'm freaking out because I can't reach Stacy.

Hours go by. Still no answer. I finally get Stacy's brother's phone number. My worse fear had been confirmed.

Stacy had attempted suicide.

The news hit me like a ton of bricks. I was numb. Why would Stacy want to leave this earth? Times are hard and I know that. I think that no matter how bad things are you still have to do what you have to do to make things better. Jobs, friends, girlfriends/boyfriends/spouses will all come and go. As long as you have air in your lungs, you're ok. That's the way that I feel.

I spoke with Stacy later that day. I really didn't know what to say. I was hurt. I was pissed off. I was mad. I was confused. Not only did Stacy send that text message to me but to Stacy's siblings and parents. I really didn't say that much to Stacy that day. There was so much that I wanted to say but I couldn't. There are so many issues. Depression is one. Too often (especially in the black community), we never address the issue of depression. We ignore it. Did I ignore it in Stacy? I don't think so. Nevertheless, Stacy is getting help and counseling. I spoke with Stacy last week and it was almost like old times. Lots of laughs and jokes.

I'll be honest. I wasn't even gonna write this post. This happened nearly 2 months ago and I finally had the mindset to put it out there. I try to keep things positive. I've read blogs about stuff and become sad after reading it. That's not the intent here. Far too many times, we ignore the little things in people. The small cries for help. Sometimes we never know until it's too late. It's ok to tell somebody and show somebody that you care. More importantly, it's good to show them that they mean something to somebody. Far too many times we're left with unanswered questions.

I'm just glad that my friend has a second chance...

time2mend

I remember getting a phone call from my Dad a few years ago.

It went something like this...

Dad: "Hey...I've got some sad news...your grandfather passed away."

Me: "Really. Wow. Sorry to hear that."

And that was about it. If it sounds strange to you, that's because it was strange. It was strange to me because I didn't know him. I had only spoken with him over the phone once. I knew that he lived in Los Angeles for almost 20 yrs after leaving New Jersey. I didn't have a relationship with him because he didn't have one with my father. When my Dad gave me the news, it was almost like hearing that the old guy who lived down the street from you had passed away. I felt nothing. The fact that my grandfather's death didn't move me...bothered me. I mean, I was nearly in tears when Biggie died and I only knew him through his music. But I wasn't emotional upon learning about the death of the man who created the man who created me. Very strange...

Dad and granddad's relationship went sour when he and my grandmother split when my dad was a teenager. Granddad drank a lot and he wasn't "nice to be around" once he had that "oil" in his body. They had a bad relationship. When he died, dad wasn't mad at him. He seemed to be content with knowing that he loved his father and his father loved him. But I missed out on having a grandfather. Missed out on his wisdom. The fence was never mended. He and dad never connected again like a father/son should be. The one positive thing about their relationship is that dad vowed that if he ever had a son...he'd make sure that he'd be close to his son and be a better father than he had. And he did that for me and my brother.

Life is long...but it's also short. Tommorrow is not promised to any of us. Almost all of us have someone...parent, spouse, sibling, friend...that we should mend our fences with. We all assume that we'll be here forever but we know better. Sometimes people get relationships/friendships go awry and we don't even remember what happened. Life is too short to go around being mad at someone.

Maybe this post will move you to mend a fence with someone in your life.

Maybe...

iz she too close???

This is not a relationship blog.

However, I think that I know people pretty well and I know a lil bit about relationships. Over the last few weeks, there have been some discussions here about different topics about relationships. I like that. Today will be no different.

After watching the movie Brown Sugar for the 925th time, I had to ask the question...

Can a woman be too close to YOUR man?

What happens when he has a close female friend before you meet? I think men and women can have plutonic relationships. You know...FRIEND ZONE relationships. However, what do you do when she knows everything about YOUR man?

Should YOU try to be close to her so that YOU can keep an eye on her?

Hmmm....

Hollatchaboi!!!

in the zone

In the zone...

Most of us have heard that term before.

In basketball, you've heard players talk about being in the zone when they can't miss a shot.

In football, you've heard players talk about finding the holes in the zone of the defense.

But there is ONE zone that most men fear...the FRIEND ZONE.

The FRIEND ZONE is that place that no man wants to be. It is when he is physically or emotionally attracted to a woman but she does not feel the same way. She only wants to be "just friends". Most men dread the FRIEND ZONE because once you're in that zone...you can't get out of it. You're there forever. It doesn't matter how much he's attracted to her, he can't break that zone. So...what is a man to do?

Most of you who read this blog are 25+. And most of us want the same things when it comes to a member of the opposite sex. Single men generally get to a point where they "have enough female friends." Adding another friend...one who he's attracted to... is not gonna happen. Most men are aggressive in their pursuit of women. So, this leaves him in a dilemma. Should he continue to try to break out of the FRIEND ZONE and win her heart and risk playing himself? Or should he just tell her that he can't be her friend?

Ladies...how do you handle your dudes in your FRIEND ZONE? You can't say that you don't have em b/c every woman has at least one male friend that they know that likes them. Well...maybe not you married women but the single ladies do.

Fellaz...how do you handle it? Lemme know.

Hollatchabooi!!!

igottastory2tell

People are interesting.

Well...I think so. I can't speak for everybody.

Maybe I should have been a psychologist. I'm always intrigued about how/why people think the way that they do.

Peep this a tell me whut you think...


I was talking to my boy Demarcus the other day. He was perplexed by a situation that he found himself in. Demarcus dated Kaylin for 3 years when they were in college. Not long after he graduated, they broke off their relationship. They agreed to go their separate ways. The relationship didn't end on a sour note. They had just simply grown apart. But they remained friends even after they called it quits. They would still talk from time to time as the years passed.

One of Kaylin's good friends in college was a chick named Tattina. Tattina was good friends with Demarcus, too. Tattina and Kaylin hung out a lot. They took classes together b/c they had the same major. One day when they were in college, Tattina told Kaylin that she slept with Demarcus. Kaylin and Demarcus were still dating. Tattina was more than apologetic. She said that they had gotten drunk one night and one thing led to another. Kaylin was shocked to hear the news. She couldn't believe that her friend had slept with her man. Kaylin was determined to be an adult about the situation. She never even mentioned it to Demarcus. She forgave them and moved on.

FAST FORWARD TO 2009

One day, Demarcus was on the phone with Kaylin. She had called him to wish him a happy new year. Somewhere during the phone call, the conversation changed.

Demarcus: "Hey, have you talked to Tattina lately?"

Kaylin: "I talked to her 2 weeks ago. Why do you ask?"

Demarcus: "I was just asking b/c I know that you are tight with her."

Kaylin: "Yeah, we're still cool. I have to give myself props for that b/c I could have really killed her for what she did. What Y'ALL did!"

Demarcus: (sounding surprised) "Y'all? What did I do?"

Kaylin: "Aw c'mon. You know that you slept with her. Don't play dumb. She told me about that night that y'all got drunk and had sex. I can't tell you how much I wanted to kick both of your asses. But I was grown...I let it go. It hurt, tho. I cried many nights b/c of it. You and I are still friends so we can talk about it now. But it hurt back then. I forgave y'all."

Demarcus: "She told you that? Are you serious?

Kaylin: "Yeah. She told me the whole story. Let's just drop it. I don't wanna fly down there to kick your ass."

Demarcus: "Aight"


Here's the kicker...he really DID NOT sleep with Tattina. He was in a state of shock. He's not sure why Tattina would tell Kaylin that they slept together. Did she do it to break them up? He really wanted to defend himself and tell Kaylin the truth but he didn't want to make her upset. He told me that Tattina will be coming to Miami (where Demarcus lives) next month to visit her mother. He said that he always found Tattina attractive but he never tried to push up on her. But now he's asking me...

1. Should he confront her about lying about them sleeping together?

2. Should he try to sleep with her now...you know...make the lie a reality?

3. Should he tell Kaylin the truth even though he knows that they'll never be together again?


Like I said...interesting.

(true story...the names have been changed to protect the innocent)

Your thoughts...hollatchaboi!!!

ain't got no gun...but i got my crew

*Friends
How many of us have them?
Friends
Ones we can depend on
Friends
How many of us have them?
Friends
Before we go any further, lets be
Friends*

Is a word we use everyday
Most the time we use it in the wrong way
Now you can look the word up, again and again
But the dictionary doesn't know the meaning of friends

And if you ask me, you know, I couldn't be much help
Because A friend is somebody you judge for yourself
Some are ok, and they treat you real cool
But some mistake kindness for bein' a fool

We like to be with some, because they're funny
Others come around when they need some money
Some you grew up with, around the way
And you're still real close too this very day

Homeboys through the Summer, Winter, Spring and Fall
And then there's some we wish we never knew at all
And this list goes on, again and again
But these are the people that we call friends

Whodini (Friends)

"Ain't got no gun...but i got my crew."

T Mo from the Goodie Mob (Soul Food)

Friend. That word is often thrown around alot. Many of us don't know what that term means. Here's the definition...

1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.

3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.

4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.

I am a man who has many associates...even more friends. My associates are people who I'm cool with but they just aren't friends. For example, I may share some personal experiences with an associate but it wouldn't be anything that I wouldn't broadcast on the 6 o'clock evening news.

Friends are different. My friends fall in line with the definition that is above. There is a connection with your friends.

Then, for me , there is the next level. That's my crew. If you're in my crew, then you're in my inner circle. You are like family to me. Everybody ain't crew. Period. It's not meant for it to be that way. If you're crew...then you are in the crew for life. There's a much deeper connection of shared thoughts and experiences that cannot be defined. Crew is crew. I hope that makes sense. It does to me.

Much like your friends, the crew operates under the same premise...loyalty, dedication, trustworthy, accountable, flexible, and there's unity. Nobody comes before the crew. Period. In my world, if you have to ask if you're in my crew...you probably ain't in it!

What about you? What defines friendship? How does your hierarchy break down? Do you have alotta friends?

Hollatchaboi!!!!

da art of storytellin' pt 2

Some things need to be kept a secret. Can you keep a secret? You say that you can...but you can't. You've shared a secret. Some things are better left unsaid.

Jennifer and Trina were the best of friends. They had been friends since they were in middle school. They're both 25 now. They do everything together. They shop, hang out, drink, smoke cheebah, and party together. Jennifer has been dating her man, James, for the past 6 months. Unlike Jennifer, Trina was "too busy" to have a man.

Because they were friends, Jennifer felt like she could tell Trina anything. That included stories about her man. Specifically...about what they did sexually. And she never held back. She didn't have to b/c Trina was like the sister that she never had.

She told her about all of their "sexcapades". You know...the time that she gave him brains in a CROWDED movie theatre...or the time that they banged at her job just b/c they were horny. She told her how big he was and how nice his head game was. She also told her that is favorite position was doggstyle.

One day, Trina called Jennifer...

Trina: "Hey girl! Whussup?"

Jennifer: "Nothing much."

Trina: "I just picked our tickets for the basketball game. I've got 4 tickets. I just need to find somebody to go with me. Maybe I'll call Kevin."

Jennifer: "Cool. We need to get the tickets from you before the game. I know that James will want to be there early and you are KNOWN for showing up late so we'll take separate cars. Can you bring the tickets?"

Trina: "I can't. I'm doing my hair right now. Where's James?"

Jennifer: "He's on his way home from work."

Trina: "Why don't you have him stop by here to pick up the tickets? I mean, its on the way."

Jennifer: "Ok. I'll call him right now."

They end their conversation. She calls James and tells him to stop by Trina's house to get the tickets. And he does. When he gets there, Trina invites him in. Trina tells him that the tickets are upstairs and she advises him to come upstairs to get the tickets. When he does, he opens her bedroom door and finds her naked laying across the bed.

And we KNOW what happens next!!!

Who is REALLY at fault here? What should James do? Was Trina wrong? Was Jennifer wrong for "braggin" about her man to her girl?

Hollatchaboi!

da art of storytellin'

What about your friends
Will they stand their ground
Will they let you down again
What about your friends are they gonna be low down
Will they ever be around
Or will they turn their backs on you

TLC (What About Your Friends)

Best friends forever. That's what they would say to each other before departing from one another. They have been friends since 3rd grade. These two girls, Rena and Vicky, had a lot in common. First, their parents were best friends from high school. Rena's mom and Vicky's mom were pregnant at the same time. In fact, they had the same due date. Rena was born 3 days before Vicky. Oddly enough, Rena was born at 8:05 am and Vicky was born at 8:05 pm. In high school, Rena and Vicky did everything together. The sang on the church choir, played in the band, and volunteered at the homeless shelter together. They chased boys together and double dated quite often. To say that they were sisters would be an understatement. They both were the only child to their parents but they treated each other as if they were sisters.

After high school, they both planned to leave their hometown, Lumberton, NC and attend college. Vicky earned a track scholarship to Johnson C Smith Univ in Charlotte and Rena received an academic scholarship to Univ of North Carolina. Despite the distance, the 2 best friends stayed in touch. They visited each other regularly. They both graduated in 4 years and they attended each other's graduation. During their senior year of college, Rena fell in love with an attorney whom she had met in Durham. They dated for 3 years before they were married. Vicky, on the other hand, wasn't as lucky with men. Like Rena, Vicky was very attractive but never seemed to keep a man beyond 4 months. She'd meet a guy, date him for a few weeks, sleep with him, and then she'd loose interest. That was...until she met Tron. Tron was a waiter by day but musician by night. Tron swept her off her feet. Tron was charming. And she fell for him. They dated for 6 months before she had a chance to introduce him to Rena.

To Vicky, Rena was gonna have to give her "approval" of Tron. It wasn't that she needed it. She had already moved in with Tron. After she moved in, he stopped waiting tables and he focused on music. Rena wasn't happy that she had moved in with Tron and that he was "sponging off her". But this was her best friend. She knew that Vicky would be ok. Or would she?

When Rena met Tron, she did NOT like him at all. Too much of a player...that's what she thought. She didn't think that he was good enough for Vicky. And she told Vicky what she thought. Well, Tron didn't care for Rena either and he let it be known to Vicky. He immediately drew a line in the sand. He advised her that if they were going to be together that she couldn't be friends with Rena because she was a "bitch and a trouble maker". He came to this conclusion after being around Rena on 3 separate occasions. He didn't like her. He didn't want her "bad ways" to rub off on Vicky. This caused a huge problem for Vicky b/c she knew that Tron was on the verge of proposing to her. So, she had to make a choice...she could side with her best friend and let this man go...or she could take the man that she loved and kick her best friend to the curb. She opted for the latter.

She slowly cut her ties to Rena. Rena didn't understand it but she was determined to let Vicky see who Tron really was. A few months passed and Rena didn't hear from Vicky. One day, Rena rec'd a phone call from a mutual friend to let her know that Vicky and Tron were married. Married?? And Rena wasn't even invited. That was a low blow to Rena. Vicky was in Rena's wedding when she married Raynard. How could she get married and not even invite her?

Two years passed since the last time that they spoke. Rena had made a few attempts to call Vicky but all of her information had changed. Rena was worried about her. She had heard that Tron was not only sleeping around on Vicky but he had fathered 2 kids from 2 different women. She heard that Vicky was in denial about everything. They had no kids together. One day, Rena's cell phone rang from a private number. She decided not to answer it. She figured that if the call was important, then the person would leave a message. And they did. When Rena listened to the message, she quickly realized that it was Vicky. She hadn't heard from Vicky in 2 years but she decided to call. The message said...

"Hey girl. It's me...Vicky. I know that it's been a minute. I just wanted to call and let you know that you were right about Tron. We're getting a divorce. He got 2 women pregnant. He cheated on me the whole time that we were married. I heard the rumors but I didn't want to believe them. The last straw was when I confronted him about one of the baby mommas...(voice trailing off) and he slapped me. That did it. Well, I need to talk to you. I miss my best friend. I need you. Call me, girl. Take care. Bye."

What should Rena do? Should she forgive her? Can she go back to being close like they used to be?

What would you have done if you were Vicky...would you have kicked your friend to the curb for your man?

hollatchaboi!!!