20 year Atlien...

July 24, 1997

I remember that day like it was yesterday.

It was the day that I loaded up all of my stuff on a moving truck and moved to Atlanta.

Twenty years have gone by fast. If you would have told me that I would be here for 20 years, I would have told you that you were crazy. I didn't plan to be here this long. Maybe I did...I just never thought about it.

I moved here 20 years ago today and didn't know one person in this city. I only knew my boy, JFresh, who rented a townhouse with me. JFresh and I have been friends since we were 6 years old. He had finished college and moved back to our hometown...Florence, SC. I had just graduated from South Carolina State University and I decided to move to Atlanta. At the time, I was young, energetic, ambitious, and ready to conquer the world. In this city, I found many people like me...young, gifted, and unapologetically black. I was a young bachelor with a pocket full of money. Life was beginning to start.

Life took off! I've had a successful career and I've grown as a person. More importantly, I've grown as a man. Little did I know that I would get married, buy a house, and have 3 incredible sons and 1 incredible daughter. I planted seeds here. Atlanta became home.

While I've grown up over these 20 years, I still appreciate the simple things that I love about this city...cruising down Peachtree Street with the windows down listening to hip hop (I do this at least once a week), stop by Fellini's pizza for a slice or 2, checking out the Hawks or Falcons games, a stroll through Lenox Mall to "people watch", a quiet dinner at Oceanaire, drinks at a few bars in Midtown and Atlantic Station, mad fun at Top Golf, or a solo visit to the Georgia Aquarium to check in on the animals (I love this place more than the kids do). This place has offered me alot. I've watched the city grow. I got here the summer after the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta. So much has changed. Then again...so have I.

I've realized that I've lived here longer than I have lived anywhere else in my life. It's weird...when I think about that...but it's true. I've flirted with the idea of living somewhere else...but I don't plan to leave. Atlanta is NOT the "home of the Atlanta Housewives". It is not the "home for Love & Hip Hop Atlanta". It's not the home for ratchet reality tv shows. It's the home of thousands of hard working people (like me) who make a living here and feel good about their city. It's funny to see this city have a firm grip on the hip hop industry. Twenty years ago, the hip hop scene was just starting to bubble with OutKast, Goodie MoB, and Ludacris.

When I moved here 20 years ago...

gas was 99 cents

I had a pager

nobody used this new thing called "the internet"

i had a kitchen table, a bed, and my tv sat on top of a box

Time flies. I've grown...as this city has grown. I have always felt at home here. This feels as much like home as does Florence or the campus of South Carolina State University.

This is home.

a letter to my 18 year old self

You're 18 yrs old. You're standing in bathroom preparing yourself for another day of school. You stare at the reflection in the mirror. You crack a smile...as you've done several times...then you say to the mirror..."You are great". This wasn't a daily affirmation. You were just reminding yourself of something that you had been taught and believed since you were about 6 yrs old.

You're a high school senior. You are surrounded by a great family. You have the best friends in the world. You're playing high school football at Wilson High in Florence, SC. You're enjoying every day of high school. Life is great. You feel like you know it all.

You don't know ANYTHING.

You'll be headed off to college soon. You have no idea how your life is about to change. You are about to leave your family behind. You'll only be 90 miles away at South Carolina State University. Little do you know...this will be the last time you'll live under the same roof as your mom, aunt, cousin, and your brother. Family is everything to you at 18. They are all that you know. They are a phone call away. So, is your father and your little sister. Your family is all that you have. You'll miss them and they'll miss you. Everything happens for a reason. Don't worry...your brother, Damon...will join you and your cousin at SC State in the fall of 1994. Before you leave Florence, savor it. Take it in. You won't realize how much this town means you until you're gone. It's home. Always will be. Do me a favor, Kyle...stop by the school to see Coach Wells. He was not only your head coach but a mentor. You never got a chance to thank him for all that he did for you. You'll be stunned by the phone call that you'll get 3 yrs later and the realization that he had passed away.

Somebody will soon ask you about your biggest fear and your response will be "losing touch with my crew". You have a ton of friends. But only a few that you can call crew. Nobody comes above the crew! Never has...never will. You're at a crossroad because everybody in the crew will soon be going in different directions as college looms. A few will head into the military. There was no such thing as email or cell phones. Hell...you won't even be able to call them because you don't have the money to pay for a long distance call. You will stay in touch via letters. It sounds strange. But it will work. You can't deny the bonds that you established with the dudes and girls in your crew. There's something to be said about the people who knew you from day 1. The ones who will watch you grow into the person that you will become.

At this time of your life, you have a few things that you love. Hip hop is one of them. You're engulfed in the music and the culture. It has become a major part of you and your life. The truth is...hip hop has always been there. That will never change. Your love for hip hop will never die. As for the girls, love has escaped you. Actually, you ran away from love. You had girlfriends and others that you liked but you couldn't love them. Why? The fallout from your parents divorce had an effect on how you viewed relationships. You secretly vowed to never let anyone get that close to you so you'd never experience the pain that you felt from the divorce. You don't realize how this changed your relationships. It made you unwilling to love, cautious, but not jaded. Here's the good news...you will soon find love, learn to open your heart, and you will learn to love. And that will change the way that you look at a lot of things.

Your first love is football. I could write you a dissertation on what football means to you and what you'll actually get from the game. Maybe I'll save that for the next letter. The game gave you so much. You will give back some of what you got later in life. Just know that your love for football will only grow. You're 18 now. You only have a few more years to play the game. Once you've stopped playing, walking away will be hard but you'll adjust.

Lastly...your world will change. In time, you will become a husband and a father. I can't put into words what that will do to you but you'll be a better man as a result of it. There is a lot more that I can say but I'll save that for the next letter. Continue to live each day to the fullest. Find something to laugh at each day. Never take anything too serious. I'll leave you with this word of wisdom that you heard at the age of 6 that has become your life's motto...

Think positive. Act positive. And you will become a positive person.


Love,
43 yr old Kyle

for the record...

I miss record stores.

I mean...I REALLY miss record stores.

Back in the day when I was a kid, I would spend countless hours in record stores. Especially once I became a teenager and I could go to the store on my own. Music is one of the few mediums that brings people from different backgrounds together. I grew up on everything from R&B, soul, and pop. By the time I became a teenager, it was all about hip hop. I came up during hip hop's Golden Era. I feel blessed because I was exposed to so much great music. I was turned 16 in December in 1988. That year these albums dropped...

Biz Markie - Goin' Off
DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince - He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper
Public Enemy - It Takes A Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back
Boogie Down Productions - By All Means Necessary
Big Daddy Kane - Long Live the Kane
Eric B & Rakim - Follow the Leader
NWA - Straight Outta Compton
EPMD - Strictly Business
Marley Marl - In Control Volume 1
Eazy E - Eazy Duz It
MC Lyte - Lyte As A Rock
Slick Rick - The Great Adventures of Slick Rick


Just to name a few.

Back then, you could go in a record store and actually LISTEN to the ENTIRE album before you bought. And you didn't have to buy it...but more than likely...you would buy it because the music was so dope.

Fast forward to 2014...

Where are the record stores? It's hard to have a record store when you don't have records anymore. Technology has been the gift and the curse. Everything is digital. I used to buy cds. I have hundreds of them. I probably should have converted them to mp3 files (i have done it for my favorites). But now, you buy the cd on iTunes and it's on your phone. No cd. No album. No liner notes. The game has changed. And the music has gotten worse.

Maybe there is a correlation here.

It feels go back to my hometown, Florence, SC, and see the same record store that I went to as a kid, Rays. It's still open. I wish I could say the same for Tower Records and some of my other favorite spots. Shoutout to Electric Fetus in Minneapolis. I love that place.

Call me old skool...or call me old. I miss the record stores.

woman...

This is a picture of a photo.

The photo hangs on the wall at my mother's house in the house where I grew up in Florence, SC

It's been on the wall since I was about 5 yrs old.

After a recent trip to my hometown, I actually stopped and read it...then I really got the true meaning of it.

Every man should strive to have a woman...

Every female should strive to become a woman...

the genesis...

August 4, 1991

I had waited for this day for a long time! I couldn't believe it was finally here. I remember it like it was yesterday. Two months prior to this day, I had graduated from high school. But this day had come...the day that I was to leave to go off to college. 

Some people would be nervous or anxious about leaving home. Not me. I had mentally prepared myself for this day for a long time. My school, South Carolina State University, was located just an hour and a half away. Not too far away from home...but not too close either. Graduating from high school wasn't a big deal for me. As much I loved my days at Wilson High School, I wasn't sad to be leaving. College was the place that I had dreamed of being. When I watched "A Different World" on tv, I envisioned my college experience being just like that. It wasn't far from it. LOL. Nevertheless, I was eagerly anticipating college. I had my concerns about leaving my mom and my brother, who was entering his sophomore year at Wilson. I knew he'd be fine. I knew mom would be fine. She had prepared me and we both knew it. My only other concern was my crew. We had become so close over the years. We all were headed to different colleges. Two of my other boys were headed to the military. I had my cousin, Eric, with me at South Carolina State and my boy JFresh was next door at Claflin University. I wanted the crew to remain as close as we had always been. I wasn't sure how it was gonna happen. There was no such thing as email nor free long distance calls. I also had football. I knew that it would keep me more than busy. 

Back to that day, I remember going to church then coming home and eating dinner. I remember the mood in the house was very weird. We didn't say much at dinner. I packed the van and my mom was going to drive me to school. My brother, Damon, didn't come. I remember walking out of my room and down the hall to his room. I was going to tell him goodbye. Deep down, I was dreading that walk. It seemed like it took me forever just to take those few steps. I walked in his room and he had his head down. This would be the first time that we would be apart. We had endured our parents messy divorce together. He lifted his head and I could see tears in his eyes. My eyes welled up. I gave him a huge and I gave him a quick pep talk that any big brother would. I told him he'd be ok. I reassured him that I was just a phone call away. I walked down the stairs and jumped in the van with my mom. That was the last day that I lived in my mom's house...last time that I lived in my hometown, Florence, SC...last time in the nest. It was time for me to go.

Although Eric was going to be a freshman like me, he didn't have to come to school for another 3 wks. I was on campus early because of football camp as we were preparing for the upcoming season. When I got on campus, I didn't know anybody. There were no other students on campus...just the football team. There is a HUGE difference between high school football and college football. I found that out very quick. For the first time, there were players REALLY better than me. Doubtful thoughts crept in. I was beginning to feel a little homesick. I remember wondering out loud if I was cut out for college football. I called my parents. Two phone calls...one common theme...you can do anything that you want but you have to work at it. And they were right. By the time school started, the homesick feelings left. I learned that I would be red-shirted (meaning I could practice but couldn't play in the games until the next year). It gave me a chance to get stronger and better. I needed that.

They say you learn more between birth and the age of 6 than you learn for the rest of your life. Well, I think I learned more during my freshman year of college than you could learn in two lifetimes. I learned...how to have productive days on very little sleep...how to party...about people and their ways...about the game that I fell in love with...about family...about women...about love...and so much more. I thought I knew it all before August 4th...but I knew very little.

More importantly, I found me and I was slowly becoming the man that I was raised and groomed to be. 

youcanfindmeinthaA

July 24, 1997

I remember that day like it was yesterday.

It was the day that I loaded up all of my stuff on a moving truck and moved to Atlanta. 

I had just graduated from South Carolina State in December of 1996. I was still living in Orangeburg, SC. I had a few job offers in South Carolina but nothing that I really wanted. I was working as an assistant manager at a video store. It was cool but I knew that I couldn't put my marketing degree to use at that spot. I was contemplating my next move. I knew that I wasn't going to move back to my hometown, Florence, SC. I loved my hometown but I knew that the day that I left for college that I would never live there any more. It was time for the young bird to leave the nest and fly. And I did. I had my sights set on Atlanta. 

In the spring of 1997, I wasn't sure how I was going to get to Atlanta. I had put off going to grad school. One day I called up one of my partners in crime, JFresh. Me and JFresh have been friends since we were 6. We went to high school together but different colleges. He too had just graduated and moved back to Florence. I mentioned to him that I wanted to move to Atlanta. He said he wanted to live there too. He suggested that we move there together and get an apartment together. I thought about it for a second. Fresh is my boy but he is by far the weirdest cat that I know...but that's my boy. So, I told him that we should do it. As July moved closer and closer, I thought that JFresh would back out at the last minute. He didn't. 

I had no long term plans about being in Atlanta. I had fallen in love with the city when I was in college. It was a place that represented upward mobility for young black people like me. The hip hop scene was bubbling at the time. While acts like Outkast and Goodie MoB were on the scene...others like Ludacris (a radio personality on Hot 97) and T.I (I saw him perform at an underground club but didn't catch his name but he ripped it)...had yet to blow. I came to FreakNik in 1994 and I told my friends that I would move here after college. Growing up, the only place that I had envisioned myself living was New York City (Manhattan). I love New York. I couldn't imagine wanting to live anywhere. But Atlanta just felt comfortable. It didn't take long for me to feel at home. In a city with 5 million people in the metropolitan area, the only person that I knew was JFresh. We didn't know our way around but we both had a great sense of direction so we knew we wouldn't get lost. We rented a townhouse in a north Atlanta suburb. It was the typical bachelor pad...TVs and electronics...but very little furniture. LOL. We figured that the best way to get familiar with the city...was to party! And we partied! Sometimes we would hit parties on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday nights! And we soaked up all Atlanta had to offer.  We lived together for a year before I moved to the east side of the city but we still hung out almost every weekend.

Years passed. I would eventually would settle down. I got married and started a family. Fresh moved to LA. But this place had become home. I felt as comfortable in Atlanta as I did Florence. I adopted the Atlanta Falcons and the Atlanta Hawks as my teams that I would support (not the Braves, though). I had my oldest son in 1999, got married in 2000, and then bought my house in 2001. Little did I know, I had planted roots here. The foundation was set. The thought of raising kids in city like this is challenging. Growing up in Florence, I could go around the corner and nothing would happen. That's not the same when you live in a place like Atlanta. Anything can happen. That's a scary thought as a parent. But this is where I wanted to be. Over the years, I have thought about leaving. But there's always something that convinces me to stay. Sometimes, I think about how life would be in Manhattan. But the cost of living in NYC is unreal! Unless, somebody wants to pay me a LOT more money...I'm not going anywhere. You can find me in tha A!  

F#%k tha police

F#%k the police comin straight from the underground
A young brutha got it bad cause I'm brown
And not the other color so police think
they have the authority to kill a minority - Ice Cube (F#%k tha Police)

I don't like the police.

Never have. Never will.

I know that they are here to serve and protect. I know that they have a thankless job. I know that 99% of cops are good people. I guess I'm just a magnet for the 1% of cops that are racist assholes. Let me take you back to the summer of 1998 when a young Kyle got pulled over THREE times in ONE week for the same offense...DWB (driving while black)

SUNDAY

I was riding in the car with my boy, JFresh. We had just come from downtown Atlanta and were headed to our townhouse in nearby Marietta. We were waiting at a traffic light when we saw a cop get behind his car. As soon as we made a right turn, the blue lights came on. JFresh, who was driving a sleek black Acura Integra, was calm. He showed the officer his papers and license. The police officer NEVER said why he pulled us over. He just asked if he lived in the area because J's drivers license and license plate were both from the state of South Carolina. He told him the officer that he was a student at Georgia Tech (which was a lie). The officer let us go. All we could do was shake our heads. There was so much crime in Cobb County at the time but WE get pulled over?

WEDNESDAY

I was driving alone. I was on my way back to my apartment after leaving the movies. I was on the same street that I was on just a few days earlier. I made a right turn at the same light. Same results...blue lights! The cop was nice but never said WHY I was pulled over. I didn't ask. Didn't have to. Wrong color.

If I was old, they'd probably be a friend of me
Since I'm young, they consider me the enemy - Ice Cube (Tales from the Darkside)

FRIDAY

I left Atlanta that day and was headed to my hometown, Florence, South Carolina, for the weekend. I'm cruising down Interstate 20 with the windows down. I'm driving through Madison County (about an hour outside of Atlanta) when I see a cop "hiding" in the bushes in the median. I look at my speedometer and it's reading at "60 mph" and the speed limit is 65. I drive past the cop. He sees me and pulls out onto the highway immediately. I saw him pull onto the highway but I didn't know he was coming after me. The next thing I know...I see the blue lights...AGAIN!!! The officer asks me for my information and I give it to him. After a few minutes, he comes back and here's what he says...

Cop: "Sir, where are you headed?"

Me: "I'm headed to Florence, SC"

Cop: "Where are you coming from?"

Me: "I'm coming from Atlanta." (Why do you wanna know asshole?)

Cop: "Can you step out of the car? I'd like to search the car...if that's okay with you, sir."

Me: "Sure. If you want to search it...go ahead." (What the hell you think you gonna find fatboy?"

I step out of the car and stand in the grass as this dude looks around my Nissan Sentra (not a Bentley but a Sentra). At this point, I'm sure that SEVERAL of my civil rights have been violated.

Cop: "Can I look in your trunk?"

Me: "Yeah." (I hope you don't see the dead body back there)

I open the trunk. Nothing back there but my bag

Cop: "Sir, can I open up the bag? I have to ask first...do you have any drugs or guns in this bag"

Me: I chuckled. "No, l left them at home."

Cop: "I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you. It's just that we have lot of drug trafficking between here and Texas. We have been cracking down on it."

Me: "I would never sell drugs." 

Cop: "You are free to leave, sir. Have a good day."

I wonder what was the dead giveaway that day. Was it my hooptie? Was it the Yankees fitted hat that I had on backwards? I know what it was. And so do you. How else would somebody explain getting pulled over by cops 3 times in a week? I did what my parents always told me...1) be calm & cordial 2) always let them see your hands 3) never ride with more than 3 other black kids in a car because you WILL get pulled over.

I have 3 sons. What will I tell them about the police? I'll tell them this story as well as my other run-ins with the cops. I would like to think things will be different for them.

I doubt it.

liner notes

Long before people had their music downloaded digitally, they had the music compressed onto a thing called a compact disc.

The compact disc was usually packaged with some information about the music that you had purchased.

I was always interested in reading the liner notes inside the packaging.

The liner notes gave you the general information about the music. You could also find out who wrote and produced the music. I was mostly interested in reading the liner notes where the artist gave their "thank you's" or "shoutouts". It let you know who they were down with and it also gave the people that they named some props. Sometimes if you read the liner notes and somebody's name DIDN'T appear in the notes...you could only assume that they were no longer down with that person. (long before the innanet)

The thought of liner notes gave me the idea to come up with my own...*imagine you've just opened up a cd from me...LOL*

Sorry for anybody who I forgot but my PR people gave me a short period of time to come up with this list.

THANK YOU...my family, wife, and kids...All of my love! I do what I do for you. My parents - you are simply the best and I hope to be half as good as a parent as you both were for me. My brother & sister - Love you both. Continue to shoot for greatness. Blaze your own trail. My cousins - we are brothers and sisters...not cousins. I love you all. Let's keep the family tight and raise all of our kids together just like we were. My aunts and uncles - Your love and guidance has made me grow into the man that I am. Florence, SC - thank you for allowing me to grow. You will always be home! Wilson High - Is there a better high school? Of course not. Thank you for the support and love. Shoutout to the Class of ' 91. I got nothing but love for you. Orangeburg, SC - the hottest place in the world in the summer time. Haa. My second home. You will always be home! South Carolina State University - The best 5 1/2 years of my life! Period. I bleed Garnet & Blue. It was an honor to play football there. Bulldog for Life! Atlanta, Ga - I can't imagine living anywhere else. I didn't know anybody here when I got here. I am thankful for it all.

Special Shoutouts...The Oceans Crew - World's Most Dangerous Crew. You know how it goes. Crew love, everybody on Norwood Lane & Spaulding Heights, JFresh, Shaft, Jimmell, Fred, JayH3, Dluvhall, Zeek, Zo, Ryan, RC, TQ, Denise, TuTu, Nyesha, Joey, Erv, Marie, all of my teammates at Wilson High (i can't name all of you but you know who you are! LOL)...Coach Wells (RIP) I still hear you, Coach..."Time waits for no man. You must have a respect for time" ....Everybody at SC State University, all of my classmates, professors, and all proud alumni (RIP Alan Robinson). Most importantly, love and respect to all of my teammates who wore that Garnet and Blue. Thanks to those who played before us and those who carried on the tradition after we left...Bulldog Pride...my teammates and partners in crime...Moe, Russ, Clark, Big Mel, Pizzo, Big Shot, Naylon, Q, Bruce, Hemby, Early, Tez, Spann, Bush, Frankie Sanders, Barr, Shorty, Trez, and everybody from that Class of ' 91. Shoutout to the old heads who paved the way...Zeus (RIP), Big Larry, Carnell, Big Rodney, Colson, Faulk, Joe, Top, Quincy, Houston, Big Ty, Greer...the crew...Juan, Steve, TurkNice, DG, Mal, Toine, Zae,  Shawn, Dia, Avis, Tan, Wilson, Scmoove Capone, Larry, Boogie, Rich, Shaun, AL B, Naz T, Brad, RobMa$e, Hov, Nicole, Sean I, Crystal, Will, Kimmie, ERob, Charles, DK, Hakeem, Kim, Sherry, and B. My favorite spots in Orangeburg...Foxy 44, Club Ritz, The Silver Spur, Fairgrounds, Dukes Gym, SHM, Bethea Hall, Mitchell Hall, all of the female dorms on campus (haaa). And last but not least...Kick Booty ; ATL spots...Club Esso, The Underground, Kaya, Shark Bar, Visions, DragonFly, Whiskey Peach, Northview High (best Sunday hoops in the city), Atlantic Station, Lenox Mall, the old Buckhead, Strokers, Magic City, Club Nikki, Gentleman's Club, Kamal's 21 (we still gotta go, you owe me!), Los' crib, GA Dome, Phillips Arena, Peachtree Street, Piedmont, Candler Road, Panola Rd, Earwax, Electric Fetus...Much love the kids who I coach and the coaching staff at Central Dekalb...my blogger crew - thank you! we all share a bond. Long before Twitter and Facebook...there was Blogger. LOL. Much love to you all. Special shoutout to those of you who read this blog but NEVER comment. It's all good. Thanks for reading...12 Radio Show - it would never exist if I never had this blog. Thanks to all who have co-hosted and those that listen. Shoutout to all of my peeps on twitter and facebook! Major shoutout to my homegirl LRenee who gave me the idea of starting a blog. You helped create the 12 Brand. I owe you five dollaz. Haaaa.

My PR guy is really rushing me to finish this list.

Thank you for WATER AND AIR!!! I need it to survive. Thank you. I love water and air.

Last but not least...Thank you God. I am who I am because I am your creation. I'm thankful each day for the opportunity at life to be a little better than I was the day before. Grateful. Blessed. Eternally

12kyle aka Kyle aka KD aka Kid Chocolate aka KDot aka Randy Floss aka Lunchmeat Mumford aka Rollo Lawson

if I forgot anybody...charge it to my head and not to my heart. Peace