Friday, February 19, 2010

tales of a 7th grade nothing

Social media works

Well...most of the time it does.

I am a self proclaimed "social media mogul." From blogger to twitter to facebook to blackberry messenger...I enjoy it all. I love connecting with people. It has become a big part of what I do. As a married, father of 3...I understand my limitations. I keep it friendly with everybody. However, I understand that everybody doesn't have the same intentions.

That said...

Peep this Facebook conversation that I recently had with a woman who I went to elementary school with. The woman sent me a friend request. I accepted it. I posted on her wall something brief like... "Hello ____ ! How are you doing? It's been a minute. Hope all is well. Take care."

Instead of posting on my wall, she sent me a message in my inbox. Here is the convo...

Her: How are you?

Me : I'm gooooood! I can't complain. How have you been?

Her : I been Bless by God Just Waiting on That new Husband and you

Me : Waiting on a new husband? Nothing wrong with that! I hope it happens for you sooner than later :)

All is well. I'm grown now. LOL. I married (9yrs) my college sweetheart and we have 3 sons (10, 7, 3) and we live in Atlanta. I've been here about 14 yrs. Life is good. I can't complain. I still get home from time to time. My parents are there and I love going home

*** I felt the need to put this out there at this point b/c I could see where this was going. LOL ***

Her : Thats Of blessing to know that you is still holding on no matter what.My husband got 25 years up the road for drugs .so he told me to go on with my like.I did wanted to wait on him but he said no don't do that.

Me : Wow! Sorry to hear that. At least he told you not to wait for him. It says alot about you the fact that you wanted to wait for him.

Her : Yes it does but the problem is i dont want to move on its been about 2years now

Me : Wow. I can dig that. That's true love and dedication. But at some point in have to live your life

Her : Yes i will one day.When god seen him looking for me i will

Me : That's true

Her : So i see that you is tired up a little.You is a good person to talk to .If it not a problem can we talk on the phone sometime because you can't talk to everybody about things no more.

Me : Sorry bout that. I was writing and got side tracked. Thank you. Some people say that I'm easy to talk to so I appreciate the compliment

*** peep how I avoided the question...I'm such a nice guy. I really could have told her to kick rocks at this point. ***

Her : Ok so is it ok for us to chat over the phone

Me : Nah. You can email me. That's easier for me

*** Obviously this is a lie. I'll give anybody my number. Hell, most of you who are reading this have my number! LOL ***

Her : Ok if you say so and i am not good with texting

Me : Cool!

Her : I wish that i could here your voice just ones

*** I don't respond. By this time I'm too busy laughing ***

Then, she emails me again 10 mins later...

Her : You make me smile.Why I can't get the number

Me : It's nothing personal. I don't give my number out. I just don't. I'm a happily married man and I choose not to do that. It cuts down on confusion. Sometimes words...phrases...can be easily misconstrued. I don't need that in my life. Everybody doesn't have your best interest at heart. Why give my number out...would I want my wife doing the same? Nope. You're a woman, so I know that you can appreciate that. Like I said, it's nothing personal. Emails is how I communicate with most people. I know you understand that

Her : Yes i do Its all good sweetie

*** By this time, I'm dying laughing and telling my friends on twitter about it. I can't figure out why this woman is going in like this. I had not seen her since we were 12. And she was 8 months PREGNANT at the time from a 23 yr old man! I shouldn't be laughing at this time...but I'm rollin ***

Then she emails me 5 mins later

Her : your or going to come to Florence SC and let me see you and make you laugh and go out for lunch or something like that

*** I'm in tears on the floor laughing. I don't even respond ***

I guess she got the picture. I think SHE deleted ME as her Facebook friend. LOL

The next time I have a stalker, please let her be able to spell.

Oh yeah...and can I get a fine stalker and not one that looks like somebody's grandmother??? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


Smarty P. Jones said...

I died a thousand deaths reading that! Bwahahahahahahaha! She must have thought she was e-mailing Shaq and needed to write like that so he'd understand.
Wow Kyle, I don't know what to say except, 'Watch cho' back!' That heffa might try to get medieval on you and the fam the next time you're in South Cack!
LMAO!!! You'd better call some of your cousins to handle her.
Her dude got 25 years?! Hot dayum! *smh*

12kyle said...

@ Smarty
The LAST thing that I'm worried about is her bothering me. She ain't that type. TRUST ME.

I wonder if she missed a few English classes. LOL

Chelita said...

Um, wow! Are you sure she continued her education since you last saw her in elementary school? LOL

Beautifully Complex said...

It is just amazing that folks don't know how to stay in their lane ! LOL
You really are a nice guy, I guess she thinks you are naive too.

rashida said...

Ok. Wait. So that was verbatim? And did you say that she was 12 & pregnant by a 23 yr old the last time you saw her? That's just sad. You'd better watch yourself next time you go home. She probably has surveillance on your folks house, just waiting on you.

rashida said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rashida said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rashida said...

I'm actually looking at your FB page for the first time (I really only check FB for pics). Your number is on the page. "...with just one more brain what a half wit she'd be" #Chicago

12kyle said...

@ Chelita
LMAO!!!!! *dead*

That is the funniest thing I've heard all day!

@ Beautifully Complex
As you can see, I tried to be nice.

@ Rashida
Yes...she was 12 when she got pregnant. She had the baby at 13. I dunno why nobody pressed charges on the dude for statutory rape back then.

I'm not worried about her trippin. She's not that bright. And I'm kinda like a BIG deal back at the crib. LOL. You don't wanna do something stupid for fear of what might happen. My phone number has always been on my facebook page for my friends and old classmates to keep in touch with me. She ain't gonna call me. Hahahahahaha!

Kingsmomma said...

LMFAo first off I couldn;t get past the fact that her Grammer was very very wrong. "when God seen him looking for me I will" WTF was that. I had to reread about fo' times before I skipped past it.

LMAO @ Chelita... I thought the same thing. Homegirl needs to enroll in some GED or adult literacy class instead of thinking about hearing your voice...or maybe you and your boys could make that trip so yuor youngest can tutor her. I know she has nick jr. they cover the basics...tell her to tune in.
What a joke

Nikki Ni said...

What trips me out is that people think because they "inbox" you it's so much more private... people it is 2010... wake up. You can still be put on blast.

I can only SMH at her grammar. Like others, I had to read it numerous times.

But what really gets me is how she flipped from “I don’t want to move on” to “can I call you…. why not”... what?!

E.M.H. said...

WOW!!! She was really trying to be persistent and get your number even after you told her u were married with kids :-/. She just didn't get it. I'm surprised you didn't cut off the conversation sooner. I could barely finish reading her part of the convo . . . hot mess SMH!!!!!!!!!!

BrokN_RecorD said...

Cuzzo, what did you do this girl back in the day for her to be tryna get at you like that after all this time?

Oh yeah and when you get a min DM your PIN so I can add you to my BBM my "social media mogul"

LadyLee said...

Man... that was TOO funny.

Yeah, uh. You need to let that go. Really. Crazy written all over that. Glad you didn't give out your number. She'd come looking for you, and I'd hate to see your wife whoop her a**....

And we exposed her motive when she deleted you as a friend...

Reina said...

Daamn, Kyle. Who knew you had it like that? What could you have possibly been doing in elementary school?


I thought the same damn thing! "You is" was killing me!

Tha L said...

Oh God Damn. Kyle, please forgive my language, but this is a crazy bitch. And one who seriously needs to go read an english language book...

Anonymous said...

What is this? "so he told me to go on with my like.I did wanted to wait on him"

But I flatlined after reading this line: "I wish that i could here your voice just ones" LOL

Super Dave Van Buren said...

lmao.. damn homie. I keep telling people Facebook is evil!

You handled that very well though.

The Jaded NYer said...


That heffa just shat all kinds of ways allllllllll over the written word!

I think I'm more offended at her lack of grammatical & spelling prowess than I am that she tried to move in on Mrs. 12's territory.

PS tell that heathen to stay away because you know people in BK w/machetes...LOL!!

Pigskin Loving Lady said...

If I didn't know you were from Florence, SC, I'd assume chick was a foreigner. She butchered simple words, my goodness.
Pregnant @ 12, hubby in jail for 25 years...that tells the story.

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

Wow...not only is she a stalker, but also a stalker that can't spell. It was hard to read that :/

12kyle said...

@ Kingsmomma
Maybe I should ask somebody if she got her GED? LOL

@ Nikki Ni
I had to put her on blast! If she had gotten "ignant" I would have put her name out there. LOL

Yes! A true hot mess!

@ BrokN_RecorD
Cuz...I didn't do anything. We just went to elementary school together. That's it.

@ Lady Lee
Yeah, she don't wanna see my wife. She's from Compton and she don't play. Hahahahaha

@ Reina
I spit game! LOL. Juss kiddin.

@ L
If you look in the dictionary under the word "CRAZY", you'll find a picture of her

@ Thoughts of a Southern gal
Yeah...that one had me dyin laughing.

@ Super Dave
Thanks fam!

@ Jaded Santana
I know Brooklyn got mah back!

@ Pigskin Loving Lady
Trust me...people in Florence don't talk like that. LOL

@ Beautifully.Conjured.Up
I think that's the thing that had me cracking up. I just couldn't believe that anybody could butcher the English language like that.

CurvyGurl ♥ said...



Angel said...

did she miss the 'married' part of your email, wow some women are so desperate

Rashan Jamal said...

OH MY GOD!!!! This sounds like something that would happen to me. I actually stop responding after the first email. We ain't really gonna catch up. And then with the begging for the phone number??? Are you serious?!? Why can't the stalkers ever spell????

Sitting at work cracking up... I'm glad nobody is around right now!!!

12kyle said...

@ CurvyGurl ♥
Pure comedy! LMAO!!!

@ Angel
I only put it out there just b/c i thought she might be "a little off"

@ Rashan
This is my first stalker. I had no idea that they could not spell. Haaaa

SimoneSweets said...

OMG!!! Im dying!!! She is nutz!!! She needs an english class and she needs to catch a clue!!! Damn she giving women a bad rep!!! smh!!!

I dont remember you tweeting about this!! Too funny!!!

Tyrone said...

Desperation is a helluva drug.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Redbonegirl97 said...

OK right now I am dying laughing because we have all had those moments where you are WTH, where is this coming from. I am also laughing because you said FLORENCE, SC and that is where my family is from, this too funny. You probably know my people.