Tuesday, January 12, 2010

manlaws



We all live by laws.


Most laws are meant to be broken.


Except manlaws...


What are manlaws? Manlaws are the laws that we as men live for. They are the laws that bond us as men. These laws have their own interpretation. Since 90% of the people who will read this are women, I don't expect you to understand or agree. LOL


I would be violating a major manlaw if I posted each manlaw so I'll give you a few...


#35) No man should ever condemn another man for doing something like having "transgressions." (ie...Tiger)


#87) When using a public restroom, there should always be one empty urinal between two men at all times unless the restroom is crowded.


#233) No man should ever call another man...nor refer to any of his possessions or gear as being "cute".


#328) A man should never date one of his boys' ex girlfriends


#573) If man A slept with a woman...his friend...man B...can only sleep with the woman if it's actually propositioned by man A


#980) A man should never watch shows American Idol or ANY movie on the Lifetime network


#1129) A man should never sit on the same side of the table as a woman while just the two of them are dining. You must be seated across the table from your date.


#1212) A man should never turn down free alcohol


#1329) If a man breaks up with his girlfriend, his best friends must "break up" with her as well


#1578) You can never utter the words..."I don't like sports."


#2000) If your best friend gets caught in a lie (ie cheating) and he says that he was at your house...you repeat the lie to your best friend's girlfriend...verbatim.


#2109) You never comment on how pretty your boy's girlfriend is. And you can only ask him questions about sex with the jumpoffs...never about sex with his girlfriend.


#2328) If you're riding shotgun in a car, you are NOT allowed to yell out the window at females who are walking or at the bus stop. *Rule was implemented after TLC made the song Scrubs


#3278) You can never complain about being the wing man to run some interference...unless she's not cute.



As I said before, these are just some of the rules that we live by.


If you don't understand...you're not supposed to.


Haaaaaa


18 comments:

Tyrone said...

Addendum to rule #1212: One must not turn down free alcohol unless prohibited by medication.

rashida said...

Does #573 include threesomes? Just asking?

wynsters the tigress said...

LOL men

Super Dave Van Buren said...

I'd actually add any reality/talent show to the american idol rule. unless said reality show involves a grill and food or a family member.

Rashan Jamal said...

Cracking up at this post. But it's so true. #87 is serious, but dudes be violating that one all the time.

BorednTalkative said...

Oh wow. That's a lot laws to remember.

Smarty Jones said...

@rashida, two men + one chick does not equal a threesome. That's a train.

@kyle, ya'll have the weirdest laws about the randomest shit. *smh* LoL!

Tyrone said...

Ladies, ladies - don't get confused. It's not a lot of laws to remember, you learn them as you grow up.

Kinda like all the rules about where to shop and what shoes go with what purses, all of that stuff that guys don't pay attention to.

E.M.H. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
E.M.H. said...

LOL . . . MAN LAW!!! And you guys are so serious. It's amazing that all guys know MAN LAWS despite being from different states, schools, religions, etc . . . What do you guys do when a man breaks a "LAW"? Just curious

ShellyShell said...

I think some of these laws apply to women.#328 that DEFINITELY applies to women!
#1578 I hate when women say that! Uhh!
#1212 Yet another rule applying to us as well!
#2328 Men NOR women should holla out of a car!

Trish said...

#1129) A man should never sit on the same side of the table as a woman while just the two of them are dining. You must be seated across the table from your date.

Why because the man across from her might be playing footsies with your woman??LOL.

Or you want her foot on your "thang" under the table?? lol

Rich Fitzgerald said...

I love your women commentors, they are funny as hell. (ie. "a train", a threesome, and a foot on his thang.) SMH

Another good manlaw is #2237 - Never try to date your boy's sister unless he is absolutely cool with it. Even if she is coming on to you.

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

I live for #1212 too! I'm not turning down free alcohol.

Mizrepresent said...

These laws are so funny, but from experience i know alot of men live by them, smh, but as the ladies already pointed out, we too live by the following laws:

#328
#1212 (esp wine) lol
#2000
#2109
#3278

Now i do take exception to:

#1129 - why not, i like being close! hmph!

#1329 - smh

funny post!

Tyrone said...

E.M.H asked what happens to guys who break these rules: They usually get ostracized. There are times to break rules, but for those who consistently break rules - they isolate themselves.

Angel said...

No wonder men cant concentrate on the important stuff in life (shopping, hair salon etc) they can only think about these rules, earning money and sex I guess there is no space for much else?

laughing808 said...

um, what's up with: #1129) A man should never sit on the same side of the table as a woman while just the two of them are dining. You must be seated across the table from your date.

I'm not understanding why a man can't sit beside his woman instead of across......