Tuesday, September 29, 2009

sex drive

Sex Drive

Is your sex drive in park?

Are you not getting enough but not sure why? Well, Men's Health and ole 12kyle will give you some reasons why...


You may be the kind of person who does many things well when under stress. But feeling sexy isn't likely to be one of them. Job stress, money troubles, caring for a sick family member, and other stressors can decrease libido. To keep your stress levels in check, learn helpful stress management techniques or seek the advice of a counselor or doctor.


Unresolved relationship problems are one of the most common killers of sex drive. For women in particular, emotional closeness is a major ingredient in sexual desire. Simmering arguments, poor communication, betrayal of trust, and other barriers to intimacy can steer your sex drive off the road.


It's hard to feel sexy if your self-esteem suffers from poor body image. For example, feeling ashamed of being too heavy (even if you’re not) will douse your love light. If your partner has these feelings, it can really help to reassure him or her that you still find him/her sexy. And there's a flip side to the equation: Working out not only enhances your self-esteem, but also ups your sex drive.

If your sexual get-up-and-go is gone, maybe you're getting up too early or getting to bed too late. Or maybe you have insomnia or sleep apnea. Whatever it is that's interfering with your sleep, it's also interfering with your sex drive. Too little sleep creates fatigue. Fatigue saps sex drive.


Parenting itself doesn't kill sex drive. But it can be hard to find time to be intimate when the kids are under foot. Hire a baby sitter for some time to nurture your relationship. New baby in the home? Try scheduling sex during the baby's nap time.


Drugs commonly linked to libido loss include:
Blood pressure medications
Oral contraceptives (some studies show a link; others don't)
Anti-HIV drugs
Synthetic progesterone-medroxyprogesterone

Changing to a different medication or different dosage may solve the problem. Other drugs may affect sex drive, too. If your sex drive shifted into park soon after beginning a new medication, talk with your doctor. Never stop taking a medication without consulting your doctor.


A drink or two doesn't always put you in the mood. Alcohol famously makes you feel less inhibited about sex. But it can also numb your sex drive. And even if it doesn't numb your sex drive, inebriation can be a turn-off for your partner. All of this goes for recreational drugs, too.

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a different kind of sexual disorder than loss of libido (a medical term for loss of sex drive). But men with ED worry about how they will be able to perform sexually. And that worry can drain their sex drive.


Testosterone increases sex drive. As men age, their testosterone levels may decline slightly. Not all men lose the desire for sex when their testosterone levels drop -- but many do. Testosterone is linked to sex drive in women, too. But a woman's hormonal balance is more complex than a man's and many factors are at play. It's not at all clear whether testosterone therapy is as safe and effective in boosting sex drive for women as it is for men.


It doesn't seem fair. Many antidepressants can lower your sex drive -- and so does depression. But if your sex drive has drooped, is might be a sign that you're depressed. Clinical depression is a serious, but treatable condition.


About half of women report reduced sex drive around the time of menopause, even though they believe it important to maintain an active sex life. Menopausal symptoms, such as vaginal dryness and pain during sex, may make sex less comfortable. But the hormonal changes of menopause are only part of the picture. An aging woman concerned about her sex drive should also consider the quality of her relationship, her body image and self esteem, medications she is taking, and her physical health.


Being overweight or obese is linked to a lack of sexual enjoyment, desire, and difficulties with sexual performance. The reason isn't clear, but may be linked to self-esteem, unsatisfactory relationships, social stigma, and other psychological issues.


Sex without intimacy is a sex-drive killer. Intimacy isn't just a code word for sex. If your sex life is in neutral, try spending more non-sexual intimate time together – alone. Talk, snuggle, trade massages. Learn to express affection without having to have sex. As intimacy builds, so does sex drive.


The Jaded NYer said...

you've pretty much covered all the basics here. I won't bother saying which one I fall under b/c I'm sure we're all SICK n TIRED of my Jaded assd complaints LOL

Smarty Jones said...

Well Kyle, I think you've just about covered it. For the ladies though, it's about 90 percent mental. If you could learn to tell the voices in your head to shut the eff up, maybe you'd get your mojo back.
My voices keep telling me to get laid. Go figure!

Tyrone said...

Nice article - can you print it on a 5x7 card and send it to my house? I mean, er, my *friend's* house?

Anonymous said...

Alright Dr. 12Kyle. Good article.

The NFL Chick said...

Great post, I think a lot of people can learn from this. So many factpors go into play with lack of sex drive. I agree with Smarty Jones, about women being 90% mental though

Pigskin Loving Lady said...

You said it all my brotha. Now I need you to talk about getting back on track!! Tomorrow is HUMP DAY!!

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

Look at you getting into the thick of things, Kyle :-)

Keith said...

Excellent Post...That phot of the girl in the pink pants sure raised my sex drive up...Thanks! -:)

12kyle said...

@ Jaded Santana
LoL @ u! I think we know...

@ Smarty Jones
Yes! Listen to the voices in ya head. Go get laid. It's as easy as 1-2-3

@ Tyrone
Hahahahah! No problem, bruh

@ BorednTalkative

@ The NFL Chick
Good point. Prior to reading this, I hadn't given it much thought but it is true.

@ Pigskin Loving Lady
LoL! No doubt. On hump day...get ya hump on.

Put that hump...in yo baaaaaaaack!

@ Kay C
U know how I do! LoL

@ Keith
Lmao @ u! Man, u are crazy!

I do NOT know that woman in the pink jeans. This picture was found on the net. She aint my wife nor an ex. LMAO

Just in case y'all wuz wonderin'

The F$%K it List said...

Well done 12K. I however have had none of these issues. I stay in the mood even when I'm not in the mood.

*grabs lucite heels and walks out door*

Queen of My Castle said...

So...you were right. I did enjoy this post. I second The F$%K it List...always in the mood or can get there in 4.5 seconds. LOL

cdngirl said...

Well Mr. Kyle this is a very interesting post. I will have to remember this when this "Topic" affects me. :).

12kyle said...

@ The F$%K it List
LOL @ being in the mood when you are not in the mood

@ Queen
Told ya! LOL. 4.5? Word?

@ Cdngirl
Hahahah! I hear ya

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

Mine isn't in the park...it's doing 80 on 85 North with not a cop in sight...lol!

12kyle said...

@ Beautifully.Conjured.Up
I see! LOL

The Dreamy One said...

i dont have a sex life so i aint even gonna even try to comment,lol

great post though, ill keep those in mind when i start back up,lmao

Reina said...

Lack of a sex drive? People suffer from this? I'm sooo sorry. That's just...horrible. Woo, woo, woo!


Informative post, man.

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