What does SHE bring to this relationship?
Sometimes we are consumed with this thought when thinking about the other person. It doesn't matter if it's a friendship, relationship, or marriage. More often, we don't take the time to address the ISSUES that WE bring to the relationship. And we all have issues. Some are big. Some are small. But we all have our own issues.
I remember when I was in high school I vowed to never deal with a chick who already had a kid. I was young and single and didn't want to deal with that whole element. Was that fair? No. But that's how I felt. I never stopped to think of what or who I may pass up in the process. It's the same way now. If a dude says that he won't date a woman with kids, then he's limited his options.
Kids aren't the only issues. Almost everybody brings something from their previous relationships. We'd like to think that we don't but we do. Those issues aren't always bad. They help mold our current relationship. There are things that you did in a previous relationship that you won't do in your current one/next one.
Some of us have family issues. Broken homes. Broken relationships with parents/sibling. There is always some dynamic to ones family that will affect their personal relationships. It could be positive or negative. Family issues can be a huge burden on a relationship because you have to deal with family. You can't avoid em.
Like I said...we all have our own issues. I like to refer to the issues as bags. When you board an airplane, you've gotta bring your bags with you. We all have bags. Some bags are big and some are small. You can't ignore the bags as you watch them on the coveyor belt at baggage claim. You have to do what everybody will have to do...identify your baggage...pick it up...and take it with you.