Thursday, April 30, 2009



rebound...every basketball fan is familiar with the term.

But I aint talkin hoops today.

I used to say..."If you date somebody for a year and then you break up, you should be single for a year." Now that theory can't be applied if you've been with somebody for 6 yrs...but you get my point. The thing that you're avoiding is jumping into another relationship too soon.

For example, if you date somebody for a year (seriously) but you break up...then you're in another relationship in 3 months...THAT'S a rebound relationship.

I'll be the first to admit that I did this...ONCE. I didn't get into another relationship b/c I wanted to have a girlfriend. I did it to get OVER a girlfriend. I wasn't a dog or anything. Just did it for the wrong reasons. She stepped to me and the rest was history.

Is it so there something in us that wants to be in relationships when we KNOW that we aint ready?

Have you ever been in a rebound relationship?



Kingsmomma said...

I've never been in a rebound relationship.

I don't think we're gluttons for punishment or that we are "playing" the other person (except of course in your case)
I think we want a distraction from the pain caused by the heartache and while the relationship starts off as casual, somewhere teh lines start to blend and feelings grow deeper. You still carry the baggage from the previous relationship which prohibits yuor feelings from growing into something more substantial and you wind up hurting the other person. I agree once you've broken up you should take the time to heal and analyze the mistakes made so that you don't repeat them and you don't wind up getting into a relationship and compromising yourself because you want this relationship to work and you blamed the failed relationship on yourself.

I think people generally just have a problem with being alone.
Blame it on the hormones

Mr.Socialight said...

I think we've all been in this situation. Either as the rebound or rebounding someone else. I agree with regrouping and not jumping into another relationship too soon it's careless and immature. One should always take time to work on improving from the last relationship, as we know relationships are a two-way street. You cannot expect success when you jump from relationship to relationship.

Mr.Socialight said...

@kingsmomma you usually aren't informed if you're a rebound. Lol

Kingsmomma said...

you're right. let me rephrase that. I never entered a relationship shortly after I've ended one.

now that I think about it I was a rebound girl once.

Pigskin Loving Lady said...

Considering I've been married to my high school sweetheart for 21 years, I don't think I have. Well.. not unless my relationship with New Edition for 4 years prior counts? LoL

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

I have used guys as rebound guys, and I think I was used as a rebound girl once...asshole (yet, it wasn't wrong when I did it *smile*).

The Jaded NYer said...

man ALL THE TIME! lol

I have no shame... smdh!

MzInspiredMind81 said...

I have been in a rebound relationship. Like you, I used him to get over someone else. It of course did not work(as most rebound relationships don't) I'm glad that the older(and wiser) I've gotten I realize that when a breakup happens(like what just happened a month an a half ago for me) I need to take that time to re-find myself and what truly makes me happy.

Rich Fitzgerald said...

I was the king of using a girl to get over another one. I didn't make the next chick my girlfriend, but I got the goods to bury my emotional pain.

It's hard to not be involved when chicks are feeling you, kinda like the chick who stepped to you.

Muze said...

i have been the rebound, and i've rebounded. i knew it was a rebound though, and somehow it developed into a 3 year relationship, that i knew from the first week i wasn't ready for. not a healthy nor positive situation.

never doing that again.

but, we live and we learn.

Keith said...

Yeah I've been in a rebound relationship and I did it for the same reason you did...To get over a girl.

The Dreamy One said...

I've been the rebound chick before.

I totally agree with u on this. I find that men do these things more than women!

~Ms. Moore~ said...

I have never been on the rebound. I don't know if someone used me when they were on the rebound. If he did I didn't know about it and whatever was going on worked for both of us. Oddly enough most of my break ups have been friendly. I usually transition the break up and become a friend with benefits. That way I can date without the stress of wanting sex making me move too fast. Then when I am ready to start a new relationship I let go and move on.

Solomon said...

I've never done the rebound, I usually would just take a long relationship vacation and remain bitter, and not really work on myself. hahahaha.

I had a bad breakup almost a year ago, and this time I've worked on healing, I feel great, and I am ready to find someone else.

It was a very long and painful healing process, but looking back on it I know I did the right thing, and it was worth it.

dessex said...

Rebound is not really my thing. I would talk to women but I would neva jump right back into a relationship after I just got out of one. We all need that moment to ourselves.

What's up big bro lol

Anonymous said...

wow..I guess you have a point. I seem to do that alot.

Right at this moment...I could use one of those now...haha

Angel said...

Im with The Jaded NYer, I have done this more than once!

However I always explain to the man that I have just come out of a relationship and I need time before jumping back into another one.

They never listen, I blame them lol

Stew said...

never did it, but i can see how and why people do. if you get used to having that body there, then you need to put something in its place.

but on the other hand, i do not understand why someone would want to go from being held down for a year, to being held down all over again. it does not make sense to me. after all that time why would you not want to get it in for a little while.

maybe its just me