Friday, July 23, 2010

wedding bells

I've been watching her.

I keep a close eye on her each day

I wonder how she handles it.

My co-worker who sits next to me is planning her own wedding. I watch her each day as she scrolls from website to website trying to find something. I never stopped her to ask her about the process. Is she stressed? Probably. Her wedding is next week. Planning a wedding is hard work.

I guess

I didn't plan mine so I really don't know. I DO know that people spend a great deal of time planning for this BIG DAY. I'm sure that she (like a lot of women) has always dreamed about what this day would bring. She's probably envisioned it all of her life. Unlike her fiance, she has planned for this day...this moment. This is it...the wedding day! Maybe I should let her in on a HUGE secret...

The wedding is only 23 minutes long!

Months, days, hours, and minutes of preparation for 23 minutes!

She may spend 10k, 15k, or 20k on this wedding that will only last 23 minutes.

Does she realize that these 23 minutes will come and go so fast? It'll be a blur to her.

My late, high school football coach used to always say "We must prepare for war in a time of peace." Translation...we must be prepare ourselves for the battle BEFORE we go to battle. So if that's the case...

Shouldn't she be spending most of her time at pre-marital counseling??? I'm just sayin'


Kingsmomma said...

how do you know she isn't doing pre-marital counseling?

Just understand that some women have dreamed about this day FOREVER. let her have her joy and stress.
Just like a man to trivialize the "small things"
and according to the theory of relativity, 23 minutes is a long time...SHoot took me about 8 hours to deliver my son and it seemed like 5 minutes.
let her have her wedding planning and all that. hope she saved some money though

swtstiletto said...

You are so right! One thing I have to correct you on though, is the ceremony is short, but there is about 4 hours of reception that over 50% of that budget goes to (former wedding planner over Nonetheless, the time, money and energy spent is out of control. Trust me, I know from experience. I didn't want a wedding, my hubby did, and boy did we spend lots of $$ on it.

I agree that more time should be spent on understanding what the committment of marriage actually means. People get lost in the "show" and forget the real purpose of the event. When will they learn?

Great post!

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

I get what your saying Kyle. Often people (women mainly) are so focused on the wedding and 'her day' of being the center of attention that they forget there is an actual marriage that comes after everything is over.

I think women should stop focusing on their day. Weddings should be private and small. Why invite your second cousin from your father's family that you haven't seen since you were 5? Concentrate instead on being a good mate and partner...for life. That should take up a lot of time anyway.

Tha L said...

Kyle, I think weddings are stupid. Simple as that. Kingsmomma, don't put it on Kyle's manhood for calling women out on their "dream wedding" idiocy, I'm a woman and I completely agree. And yes, I've been married, and I still think that weddings are stupid.
Good post, Kyle!

Keith said...

You're Absolutely right...I can't tell you how many people are divorced right now and still paying bills from their wedding.

ali said...

I hope her marriage is filled with love and happy memories from her wedding day. And if it isn't and dissolves, I hope she doesn't have one regret for doing it "her way."

SincerelyGo said...

[waves hello] My first wedding was small yet traditional. IF I get married again I would like it to be on a beach with the Honeymoon in mind nothing huge. She's probably a ball of emotions happy, excited, nervous (nah women don't get nervous they actually want to do Is she a bridezilla? Twitpics bro?



Don said...

The wedding is only 23 minutes long!

Too funny.

I have never married so I really don't know what to add, except co-sign your sentiments that winning the battle isn't the same as winning the war.

Good luck to your co-worker and the man she has decided upon.

Kingsmomma said...

@ tha L

I believe the wedding is trivial and the true issue is lost amongst planning this epic show for friends and family but i get and understand that some women have planned the day in their minds for years. Who am I to say that their dream is stupid or idiotic. It's not solely on Kyle's manhood. For the most part, most men don't give a crap about the wedding, they just show up. The day itself is more important to the woman and that's speaking generally, not just examples of some woman, like myself and you who could care less.

Redbonegirl97 said...

That's exactly what I was thinking. If people spent that money and time into counseling and preparing themselves for marriage we probably would not have the divorce rate that we have.

Peace, Love and Chocolate