Friday, July 31, 2009




Where do I start?

I'm sure that almost everyone reading this have either cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, right? If not, it's safe to say that you KNOW somebody who has cheated.

I did. Wayyyyyyy back in the day in college with an old girlfriend. I told y'all that. It happened and I learned from it. Didn't get caught, tho (haaaaa)

As I've gotten older, I learned that shit happens. What I mean by that...i don't get mad when i hear about how "so and so cheated with so and so."

Cheating means different things to men and women. I can't tell you why women cheat. Can't really tell you why men cheat. And I can't speak from experience. However, I will give you some distinct perspectives.

SOME women cheat because they feel neglected. As a man, the last thing that you wanna do is to neglect your woman. If a women feels like she's giving 100% and she's being taken for granted...she may stray.

SOME men cheat because they can't help themselves. LMAO! Just kiddin. Seriously, I won't say that it's in our DNA. However, men are selfish by nature. We have been chasing women since the age of 12. We've always been told to "get as much azz as we can." We took those words to heart. LOL. Some of us are just downright greedy. For a man, I think you must have an appetite to cheat. It's just like eating. It's habit forming. Just like you have the urge to eat. If you cheat, it becomes a part of your ritual.

Honestly, I really don't know if ANY of us can say that we'd never cheat. I'm married...never cheated. I think that fair to say that I could never say never. There's an old saying..."A man is as faithful as his options." If that were true, I'd have a ton of chicks...but not as many as somebody like Kobe Bryant. I think cheating is more about situations. If you keep yourself out of certain situations, you won't cheat.

Here's the scenario...a woman will not cheat even after the man has her alone at his house. She could easily walk away.

Now...if you put a man in the same'll get a different result. If you put a nekkid woman in front of a man that he's attracted to...he's gonna splack (lmao)...i mean have sex. The only nekkid woman that should be in front of a man to keep him faithful should be a shoe model (aka stripper) haaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Cheating...your thoughts



Anonymous said...

I can honestly say that I would NEVER cheat. The idea of having sex completely grosses me out these days so I couldn't do it with some strange dude. Yuck=O!

However, I don't think cheating has to be an automatic end of a relationship. Personally, I feel it depends on how the cheating occurred. I have never cheated nor have I been cheated on so I can't talk from experience either. Yet, I feel that sometimes cheating can be forgiven.

Kingsmomma said...

Good Post. I think cheating is about weakness. In all situations when one cheats its the person making the decision to disregard the sanctity of thier relationship. Sure one can have a million and one reasons to cheat but that doesn't excuse or justify the actions.

Pigskin Loving Lady said...

There's a price tag on my ass....and love ain't got nothing to do with it. LMAOOO It's Freaky Friday!!!

Grown Woman said...

LOL. I think you're right. You can never say never. I've been with my husband for 12 years and never cheated. But, I'd be lying if I said I never thought about it in the past. When problems arise and things aren't going well or like you said feeling taken for granted/neglected, it's easy to stray. But, I think the difference between most women and men is that a woman will evaluate and assess the ramifications of cheating. I'm not going to ruin a 12 year relationship and family for some dude that means nothing to me. But, so many men would cheat under the same circumstances believing he won't be caught. I think that the best thing to do is to keep yourself out of certain situations and have open communication with your partner and be honest with yourself. I mean, me and Idris Elba couldn't be just friends so I wouldn't even put myself in that situation.

Miss Mika said...

No you did not say splack... lol! A friend of mine who was born and raised in the ATL put me on to that term and recent sent me the video to the horrible song "Splackavellie". And Shermar Moore was in it too, being as freaky as he wanted to be.

Ole bootleg song.

Anyway, like Irene, I can say that I will never cheat on a person that I am serious about. While sex is a big part of a relationship, I have a good sense of self control in that regard. There will never be a "it was an accident! I sliped an fell on his...." excuse coming from me. For a lot of women (won't say all because there are some ho-bags out there), sex is an emotional connection with someone. Like I've heard said once "women need a reason a cheat, all men need is a location." and I think more often than not, that is the truth.

I've loved your post this week mister! Good stuff.

MzInspiredMind81 said...

Kyle, I have to agree with you.

Cheating means different things to different people. You can cheat emotionally or physically or an ill combo of the two.

I agree that I think the reason most women cheat is either a)they feel negelected or b)they think their man is cheating so it's one of those "I don't get mad, I get even" things. I think most men cheat strictly for the thrill of the chase.

Another side of the coin though is when some people cheat, it's because someone in their past has seriously hurt them which has changed their perspective on relationships.

Tha L said...

"a woman will not cheat even after the man has her alone at his house. She could easily walk away."

I beg to differ on that statement Kyle. If a woman is dumb enough to put herself in a situation like that, I really doubt that she'd be smart or strong enough to walk away from it. I think it's the same with both men and women, keep yourself out of precarious situations and the cheating won't happen.

Solomon said...

I cheated one time 24 years ago on a girlfriend that I knew was running around and cheating on me for real. The only reason I cheated was because she was cheating on me. Then when I did it, it wasn't even all that good. It didn't do it for me.

My last girlfriend cheated on me. She told me she thought I wasn't feeling her anymore, which was ridiculious. I think she really have some past relationship issues that she needed to sort out.

We are still friends today. I forgave her too. I never could really figure out why she thought I wasn't feeling her. But she did always seem like she was trying to push me away, and she was always trying to test me to see of I was still in the relationship.

When we talked about it she said she thought I didn't really care about her anymore. I think she just didn't have a very high self esteem at the time, and her perception of what I was thinking was a bit off.

I forgave her, and we are still good friends today. I think she has really grown as a person since she admitted these things to me and I told her everything would still be OK between us.

Cheating is one thing, and in this case she came clean. That's why I was cool with in. It's when people lie, and then lie to cover up lies, and never ever come clean. It's the kind of girl that if you caught her in the sack riding some guy, and she runs out of the bedroom and will never admit to what she was straight up caught at, that's the BS that I just won't put up with.

People make mistakes, and that means people need to be forgiven as far as I'm concerned.

Sexxy Luv said...

Heyy Kyle!

Very interesting post. I am a woman cheater, I feel like I had a valid reason to cheat, I was not getting taken care of @ home so I cheated. I expressed my concerns to the man I was in a relationship with he didn't do anything about it so i went out and got my needs met!

12kyle said...

@ everybody
Great comments (as usual). I think everybody has made some valid points. We all have different perspectives. I hope that this post has given you some perspective of a man. You have definitely given me some perspective

Angel said...

Yeah you were right, everyone had different views.
I have never cheated on a man that made me feel loved and secure and happy
The moment that goes my eyes start wandering…sorry…all confessions are coming out lately lol