off tha dome

random thoughts...

People really don't work on Fridays.

Pedro Martinez is still rocking a jheri curl in '09. Maybe he's tryna bring it back?

Gas is back at $2.50. C'mon Prez O!

Speaking of President Obama, if you had to rate his performance on a scale of 1-10...where would you rate him?

If I catch a cold or swine flu within the next 10 days...blame THIS dude! He was coughing all over the place on the train. Peep the pleather (plastic/fake leather) jacket

Guess this is supposed to be hot?

Shout out to my high school, Wilson High in Florence, SC! We celebrated 140 yrs last weekend at our homecoming. It was off the chain. Good seeing old friends.

I even ran into a couple of ex-girlfriends. Haaaaaa

I skipped the BET Hip Hop Awards. I can't give them 2 hrs of my life.

We're at the midway point of the NFL season and my fantasy football team is officially done!

I am befuddled by these teachers who "fall in love" and have relationships with their students. They are kids. Don't you see that?

Where were these teachers when I was in school? LOL

Should the first date end with a kiss?

How many times is SportsCenter gonna remind us that they broadcast from Los Angeles? Who cares?

Speaking of SportsCenter...Memo to Stuart Scott...let it go, man. Stop tryin' to rep for us. You know damn well that black folks don't use words like "crazyfreakynice"! WTH?

THIS dude is too damn big to have a freakin mohawk!

Ladies...how soon can you tell if a guy is runnin' game on you or if he really likes you? A day? Week? Month(s)?

Law Abiding Citizen starring Jamie Foxx is a must see!

How are you gonna say that you don't want your son yelled at when he's on a football field? Everybody will get yelled at on the field? I'm an assitant coach for Kameron's 6 and under team. I don't yell at anybody but Kameron because he's mine. However, if the head coach yells at him...I don't care. It's a part of the game. Are we raising men or chumps?

I actually had a parent ask me...during a game...why her son wasn't playing? Well, he'd probably play if your brought him to practice...

The first time that I heard Busta Rhymes on Scenario...I knew his days with Leaders of the New School was done.

This week's winner of the Lamont Sanford award (BIG DUMMY) is former ESPN analyst Steve Phillips. Steve had an affair with a 22 yr old production assitant at ESPN. She turned crazy when he tried to cut her off. She sent letters to his wife and even befriended one of his son's on Facebook. When the story hit the newspaper, Steve lost his job...his wife...his 4 sons...his house...and probably the shirt off his back.

There is as such thing as TOO much cologne or perfume...trust me.

Word on the street is that Steve is in sex rehab. Do you really need to go to rehab for sleeping with a chick that looks like a linebacker?

Yankees will win in 6. You heard it here first

Riding through my hometown...I ran across this place in East Florence. LMAO!!!

Shout out to my alma mater...South Carolina State University. We have Homecoming this weekend. I won't be there but I'll be there in spirit. Let's get it

One of my favorite female MCs...

Jean Grae...Jean Grae...Jean Grae

ucanfindmeindaclub?

Sometimes it'd be a particular song.

Sometimes it'd be a certain beat.

Sometimes it'd just be the vibe.

There was a time when The Club was where it was at. There was a time for me when the club scene was just electric.

Every city or town has that one club that did it for you. There was a time when I looked forward to going to the club. I remember when I first moved to Atlanta. The vibe was crazy because the hip hop scene here was just beginning to grow. The only person who I knew when I moved here was my roommate/partner in crime, JFresh. We figured that we needed to venture out into the city to see what it was all about. And we did...on a NIGHTLY basis. Two young bachelors with a pocket full of money...that's what we were. And we thourougly enjoyed ourselves.

Even after I got married, I would still hang out at some clubs. I never went there to pick up women. I just enjoyed the scene. The blaring music. Watching dudes spending loot on drinks for women who they couldn't snag. Watching scantly clad women walk around and wonder why they weren't considered "marriage material." There would be times when I would hit the dance floor (yes...I can dance!) and dance by myself. It didn't matter who was around me. I would kinda be in that zone.

My clubbin' was never an issue for my wife. She always knew where I was and I never came home "late." She understood. If you give me some good music and a good DJ...I'm straight! She knew I wasn't out tryna pick up chicks. She knew I was always with JFresh, Clark, or Steve. And I always encouraged her to go out with her friends, too.

Over a period of time, the club stopped giving me that adreanline rush that it used to. Some of my favorite spots in Atlanta closed down. Then, it seemed like the vibe changed.

-Too many corny dudes started showing up. You know...the corny dude that would strategically place his BMW car keys on the bar so that chicks would KNOW what he was driving.

-Too many thugs walkin' round the club with their pants fallin of their ass.

-Too many chicks fighting to get to the VIP section so that they could say that they were up there with Dominique Wilkins or Mike Vick.

-Too many drunk chicks.

-Too many horrible rap songs.

-Too much "snap music."

-Too much mean muggin.

The club scene got real old...really fast. I could never be the dude that spent $20 to get in a joint and stand on the wall. Nope. That's not me. I'm gonna get my money's worth! The club scene aint what it used to be. It changed. Or maybe it was me? Maybe I got grown. Now, I prefer a nice lounge with good music. I don't need the big crowds. I still dance. Now it's just a nice, smooth two step. But I can still break it down when I need to.

Me and the club are separated but we have good memories. Maybe I'm too old (LoL) now. You won't catch me hot and drenched in sweat at a club. That chapter has been closed.
Whut about u? U still clubbin?

8-24-09

8-24-09

I remember that day like it was yesterday

It started with an upset stomach. That rarely happens. Nevertheless, I went on to work despite feelin like shit. Once I got to work, I was immediately met with some drama about something that I had done wrong. Now, I was pissed off AND I didn't feel well. I pressed on...

As the day progressed, my supervisor continued to annoy me about petty stuff. I was completely out of my zone. I called my wife and told her that I was tired of the micromanaging and I was about to cuss this chick out. I left the building for lunch to catch some fresh air. When I came back to the office, I tried to get back into my zone but I couldn't. I felt strange. I didn't know why. For some reason, my stomach was killing me again. I thought to myself...This has been a shitty day. What else could go wrong???

Then it happened. I got a text message at 2:45 from my friend Stacy. It read...

By the time u read this it will be to late. I love all of u.you have been great friends and family. I just cant do this anymore my life is done

Huh? What is Stacy talkin about? That's what I was thinking. I read the text again. Scratched my head for a second. The text message sounded suicidal. I had talked to Stacy 2 weeks prior to getting this text message. Stacy was going through some hard times. Stacy was about to be unemployed. Got fired because of some bs. Not only did Stacy lose the job but Stacy had a several relationships that had gone bad. With huge financial/personal issues, Stacy had decided to send this text message as a last goodbye to family and friends. I couldn't believe it. I have been tight with Stacy since high school. I sat at my desk for a minute...dazed. I stepped away from my desk and called Stacy. No answer. I tried again...no answer. Then I tried again...no answer. I called my wife and told her about the text message. She advised me to call one of my boys who lived near Stacy. At this point, I'm freaking out because I can't reach Stacy.

Hours go by. Still no answer. I finally get Stacy's brother's phone number. My worse fear had been confirmed.

Stacy had attempted suicide.

The news hit me like a ton of bricks. I was numb. Why would Stacy want to leave this earth? Times are hard and I know that. I think that no matter how bad things are you still have to do what you have to do to make things better. Jobs, friends, girlfriends/boyfriends/spouses will all come and go. As long as you have air in your lungs, you're ok. That's the way that I feel.

I spoke with Stacy later that day. I really didn't know what to say. I was hurt. I was pissed off. I was mad. I was confused. Not only did Stacy send that text message to me but to Stacy's siblings and parents. I really didn't say that much to Stacy that day. There was so much that I wanted to say but I couldn't. There are so many issues. Depression is one. Too often (especially in the black community), we never address the issue of depression. We ignore it. Did I ignore it in Stacy? I don't think so. Nevertheless, Stacy is getting help and counseling. I spoke with Stacy last week and it was almost like old times. Lots of laughs and jokes.

I'll be honest. I wasn't even gonna write this post. This happened nearly 2 months ago and I finally had the mindset to put it out there. I try to keep things positive. I've read blogs about stuff and become sad after reading it. That's not the intent here. Far too many times, we ignore the little things in people. The small cries for help. Sometimes we never know until it's too late. It's ok to tell somebody and show somebody that you care. More importantly, it's good to show them that they mean something to somebody. Far too many times we're left with unanswered questions.

I'm just glad that my friend has a second chance...

off tha dome

random thoughts...

Michael Jackson is dead? That's still hard for me to believe...

No parent wants to ever learn that their child is missing. I can't imagine what "ballon boy" parents were thinking. Once they found out that he was ok...they should have whupped his ass!

Brett Favre...I see you. Five and 0, huh? We'll see what happens when you HAVE to throw the ball.

I live in Atlanta and I don't know who the hell Gucci Mane is. I know he's a rapper but I can't name 2 songs that he's made

Sunday nights ain't the same without Entourage

I like Facebook. I love Twitter, tho

If you're on Facebook and you have more than 5 status updates a day...you prolly should be on Twitter.

Shout out to those of you who read this blog...dig it...but never comment. 'Preciate the love. As long as you're reading and feeling the vibe, I'm cool

Separated at birth?

If I could only get him to act like me...*sigh*. LOL

The NBA season is just around the corner...*yawn*

Something doesn't add up about this ballon boy story...

Rush Limbaugh...kick rocks. Do you really think the "image weary NFL" is gonna deal with you. Money talks. Yours doesn't speak loud enough. Beat it clown. Gositchoazzdown

Never get into a relationship with somebody who's "trying to find themselves."

I have no respect for a man who hits a woman. A dude that will hit a woman...won't hit a man.

I'm tired of seeing kids headed to school or coming from school...with NO BOOKS!!!!

Some parents are just sorry. You know that you're sorry. And you're raising a bunch of sorry kids.

Reading is not only fundamental but necessary!

Never go grocery shopping when you're hungry. You'll buy a bunch of stuff that you don't need

I really enjoyed the VH1 Hip Hop Honors. They really know how to put on a show.

I hope the suits at BET watched and took notes...

Speaking of BET, they are giving Mike Vick a reality tv show. I dunno how I feel about that. I hate BET but I guess I'll tune in.

Been a minute since I called somebody a jive turkey. That was big when I was growing up in the 70s. Think I'ma bring it back.

We had a new addition to our family! No...not me and my wife but my cousin gave birth to a son on Monday. Kellen Andrew was 7 pounds, 7 oz. Welcome to the family young fella. Can't wait to see you next week.

I haven't touched my Xbox 360 in months. What is wrong with meeeeeee???

Foxxy Brown? WTH?

Morehouse College has instituted a dress code for its students. No do rags, baseball caps, saggin pants. Shirts and blazers. *standing ovation*

What happened to the DJ in hip hop?

I hate when the time changes. It throws my body clock off

Funny how some of these rappers talk about the money they have but they ain't sellin no records. "We don't believe you...you need more people."

Laila Ali...Laila Ali...Laila Ali

closure

A few days ago, I was on the phone with one of my boyz.

In the middle of our conversation, he paused and yelled..."Heyyyyyyyy!"

I didn't know who he was talking to but he quickly got off the phone with me. He called me back 30 minutes later. When I answered the phone, there was a different tone in his voice. He sounded different.

He had just seen his ex girlfriend.

This was the ex that he had dated for a few years. The woman who he had talked about marrying. For all of the years that we've been close, I've never known him to be THAT serious about a woman. And she was a great woman for him. Unfortunately, their relationship didn't work. I think it was bad timing. Nevertheless, he sounded much happier when he called me back. He told me that he was sitting at a stop light and his ex girlfriend pulls up next to him in her car. They went to a nearby parking lot and chatted briefly before they both headed to work. He found out that she was married now.

I asked him why he sounded so happy. He told me that he finally had closure to the relationship. I had never thought about it. I know that he got over her. But he said that there was never any closure to the relationship. The fact that he was able to have closure put him in a better place.

I've only had one relationship that needed closure. I got that closure years ago and we've been friends for a long time. What about you? How important is closure to you? Is there any relationships boyfriend/girlfriend, (spouses), parents, or family members that needed closure?

hollatchaboi

on tour

I was talking to my brother the other day and I was tellling him how tired I was. Not mentally tired but physically tired. I needed a nap that day.



Then it dawned on me. More than any other year, this body has logged some miles on it. I'm not really one that travels a lot but I do like to travel. I began to think of where I've been over these last 9 months...


Minneapolis

I was back and forth between Minneapolis and Atlanta for 6 months for work.

South Carolina

Me and the fam drove to South Carolina to visit my homegirl, Jimmell to celebrate her 35th birthday during the Memorial Day weekend

Kameron on the Slip N Slide

Washington, DC

Me and the fam went to DC to visit Russ and Lisa for a few days. It was Brandon's first flight. Surprisingly, he did very well on the plane. We had a ball in DC.

Washington Monument

BRANDON is chillin with Russ and Lisa's lil angels Allison and Dylan

Me and the younginz at the Washington Monument

Disney World

Me and the fam drove to Orlando to visit Mickey Mouse for the Labor Day weekend. We also attended the MEAC/SWAC Challenge football game as my alma mater, South Carolina State University defeated Grambling

Magic Kingdom

Indianapolis, IN

Mrs12 and I went to Indianapolis to check out the Circle City Classic.

Lucas Oil Stadium

In a sense...I have been on tour. LOL. Nevertheless, I feel blessed to be able to travel...especially in this economy.

The tour is NOT over. There are upcoming trips to my hometown (Florence, SC...can't wait), NYC, and LA for my 37th bday celebration. Who knows...the tour might end up in YOUR town. If you see me in the streets, buy me a drink! LMAO!!!

hollatchaboi

droppin lines

droppin lines

stole this from XXL magazine. check it out, tho.

1. My favorite thing about ATLANTA (fill in your city) is the proud culture and heritage of black people here

2. If I wasn't in my current field of profession, I would be in sports and entertainment

3. The person I would like most to meet is Barack Obama

4. If I had a reality show, it would be called The 12th Planet! Duh!

5. One of my favorite things to do is to play with my sons

6. My idea of a good time is dinner and a movie with the wife. Drinks and laughs with the crew

7. My least favorite food is liver

8. The sexiest thing about a women is her eyes

9. The one word that describes me best is unique

10. If I could bring back any musician not alive right now, it would be Biggie! Nuff said!

11. I never leave home without my blackberry

12. My season is spring...minus the pollen. Spring time in Atlanta is downright beautiful

13. When I drink, I laugh a lot and act silly

14. The best show on tv is Entourage

15. My favorite city to travel to is New York City...the city never sleeps

16. One thing people don't know about me is that I am extremely loyal

17. What I'm scared of the most is losing a loved one

18. One DVD everyone should have in their collection is Scarface

19. Ten years from now, I'll be on top...right where I belong!

20. One of the most important thing that I've learned is to always think postitvely. Your actions begin with your thoughts.

hey coach!

Hey Coach!
Hey Coach!
Hey Coach!

I can't tell you how many times I hear this a day at football practice.

When you're coaching a team of 6 and 7 yr olds, it's to be expected. It's almost like a kid who follows his mother in a store and won't stop calling her name...(Mommie, Mommie, Mommie). Nevertheless, their chants have become music to to my ears. I'm used to it now.

As many of you know, I played football from the age of 8 through college at South Carolina State University. What you don't know is that I had NO ambitions in being a coach on Kameron's team. I wanted no parts of coaching. Can't really explain why. I guess I felt it'd be difficult to convey my thoughts, passion, and desire to another individual. Especially a kid.

Little did I know how rewarding coaching would be. We're 4-0 right now. More than the wins, I've enjoyed being out there with Kameron and his teammates. I remember when the head coach asked me if I would be a part of his staff. I wanted to say no but I'm glad that I did. Not only has it re-united me with my first love (football) but it has given me a chance to give back. I remember years ago when my Dad told me that I needed to find away to give back to my community and be an influence on the youth. That's easier said than done when you're working all the time and you have your OWN kids to raise. I knew what Dad meant, though. When you grow up, you take something from your neighborhood/community. It's your obligation to give something back. That's not an option for me. It's a must.

Through coaching these little boys, I'm able to communicate and be a living example for kids like Peanut...who's mother is on drugs; or Javante...who's a little slower than the other kids socially...or Dylan...who is very shy away from football but lights up when we're on the field. In me, these kids see something that they may not see every day...a strong black male role model. Everyday I make sure that I interact with every kid on the team. I ask them about school and I tease them. I just try to let them know that I care. For some of these kids, the odds are against them. I know that. I try to give them another perspective...even at the age of 6 or 7.

I remember when I played football as a kid how my teammates loved my Dad. He was my coach for my little league years. As I grew up, those guys would always ask about my Dad. If they saw him around town, they'd great him with a handshake or a hug. He had that kind of influence on them. Much like me, he interacted with them and teased them. More importantly, he let them know that he cared. To this day...when I see the guys now...they still ask about me about my Dad.

Years later, history is repeating itself.

Hey Coach don't sound bad at all!

sex drive

Sex Drive

Is your sex drive in park?

Are you not getting enough but not sure why? Well, Men's Health and ole 12kyle will give you some reasons why...

STRESS

You may be the kind of person who does many things well when under stress. But feeling sexy isn't likely to be one of them. Job stress, money troubles, caring for a sick family member, and other stressors can decrease libido. To keep your stress levels in check, learn helpful stress management techniques or seek the advice of a counselor or doctor.

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

Unresolved relationship problems are one of the most common killers of sex drive. For women in particular, emotional closeness is a major ingredient in sexual desire. Simmering arguments, poor communication, betrayal of trust, and other barriers to intimacy can steer your sex drive off the road.

BODY IMAGE

It's hard to feel sexy if your self-esteem suffers from poor body image. For example, feeling ashamed of being too heavy (even if you’re not) will douse your love light. If your partner has these feelings, it can really help to reassure him or her that you still find him/her sexy. And there's a flip side to the equation: Working out not only enhances your self-esteem, but also ups your sex drive.

TOO LITTLE SLEEP

If your sexual get-up-and-go is gone, maybe you're getting up too early or getting to bed too late. Or maybe you have insomnia or sleep apnea. Whatever it is that's interfering with your sleep, it's also interfering with your sex drive. Too little sleep creates fatigue. Fatigue saps sex drive.

PARENTING

Parenting itself doesn't kill sex drive. But it can be hard to find time to be intimate when the kids are under foot. Hire a baby sitter for some time to nurture your relationship. New baby in the home? Try scheduling sex during the baby's nap time.

MEDICATION

Drugs commonly linked to libido loss include:
Antidepressants
Blood pressure medications
Antihistamines
Oral contraceptives (some studies show a link; others don't)
Chemotherapy
Anti-HIV drugs
Finasteride
Synthetic progesterone-medroxyprogesterone

Changing to a different medication or different dosage may solve the problem. Other drugs may affect sex drive, too. If your sex drive shifted into park soon after beginning a new medication, talk with your doctor. Never stop taking a medication without consulting your doctor.

ALCOHOL

A drink or two doesn't always put you in the mood. Alcohol famously makes you feel less inhibited about sex. But it can also numb your sex drive. And even if it doesn't numb your sex drive, inebriation can be a turn-off for your partner. All of this goes for recreational drugs, too.

ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a different kind of sexual disorder than loss of libido (a medical term for loss of sex drive). But men with ED worry about how they will be able to perform sexually. And that worry can drain their sex drive.

LOW T

Testosterone increases sex drive. As men age, their testosterone levels may decline slightly. Not all men lose the desire for sex when their testosterone levels drop -- but many do. Testosterone is linked to sex drive in women, too. But a woman's hormonal balance is more complex than a man's and many factors are at play. It's not at all clear whether testosterone therapy is as safe and effective in boosting sex drive for women as it is for men.

DEPRESSION

It doesn't seem fair. Many antidepressants can lower your sex drive -- and so does depression. But if your sex drive has drooped, is might be a sign that you're depressed. Clinical depression is a serious, but treatable condition.

MENOPAUSE

About half of women report reduced sex drive around the time of menopause, even though they believe it important to maintain an active sex life. Menopausal symptoms, such as vaginal dryness and pain during sex, may make sex less comfortable. But the hormonal changes of menopause are only part of the picture. An aging woman concerned about her sex drive should also consider the quality of her relationship, her body image and self esteem, medications she is taking, and her physical health.

OBESITY

Being overweight or obese is linked to a lack of sexual enjoyment, desire, and difficulties with sexual performance. The reason isn't clear, but may be linked to self-esteem, unsatisfactory relationships, social stigma, and other psychological issues.

TOO LITTLE INTIMACY

Sex without intimacy is a sex-drive killer. Intimacy isn't just a code word for sex. If your sex life is in neutral, try spending more non-sexual intimate time together – alone. Talk, snuggle, trade massages. Learn to express affection without having to have sex. As intimacy builds, so does sex drive.

competition...

Because I'm number one, competition is none

I'm measured with the heat that's made by sun

Whether playin ball or bobbin in the hall

I'm just writin my name in graffiti on the wall

You shouldn't have told me you said you control me

So now a contest is what you owe me

Rakim "My Melody"

I was listening to this song and this verse was on "repeat" in my head. Competition is none...

None!

Rakim meant that!

The more that I thought about it...i had to ask myself..."is there any competition for you?"

You'd be surprised with the answer that I came up with. No! There is no competition. Some may think that it's an egotistical, arrogant, and bold statement. Actually, it is. The way that I see things...I'm not in competition with anybody in all facets of life. I am an extremely competitive person. I've always been. But there is no competition.

I remember being in competition with my crew when we were in high school. Back then, the competition was to get the best grades. It was subtle but we tried to outdo each other at times. Positive peer pressure...that's what i call it. After those years, the competition flowed inward. Even athletically when i was in college, it wasn't about being better than the next dude. It was about how well I could be and how far I could push myself.

As life as evolved, I've realized that people will try to box you into what they THINK you should be. You know...you should have this kinda job...this kind car...this kinda house...this kinda spouse...this number of kids...blah, blah, blah. If you realize where the real competition is, then you can't be boxed in. By most people's standards, I'm doing well in life with what I've accomplished thus far. But I don't get into all of that. I ain't Jay Z or Lebron James. I'm not in competition with them either. I'm not in competition to live their lifestyle nor to own their worldly possessions. I'm not in competition with anybody...about anything. Not even this blog...because there is no competition to this blog (lol)...truth be told.

The competition lies within. It's about the drive to be who you are. It's about being better than you were yesterday. It's about trying to be better the next day. It's all about forward progression. But the drive, desire, motivation, hustle, ambition, energy, and positive thinking...comes from within.

And there is nobody that can compete with what YOU have within YOU.

9yrs in tha game...

September 23, 2000

Nine years ago

I stepped into it.

Tied the knot that day. And now I'm here reflecting. A few things that stand out from that day.

#1. When I woke up that morning, the skies opened up and it was raining hard. It was raining so hard that I couldn't see past the hood of my car as I drove around. I thought to myself...I wonder if this is a sign that I ain't supposed to get married. The wedding didn't start until 5pm. It's funny because the weather went from a monsoon and it immediately cleared up. By the time the wedding started, there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Much like that day, in marriage you'll endure storms. No storms...no matter how bad they seem...last for ever. You've gotta marry somebody who is willing to weather the storm with you.

#2. My brother was my best man. I wasn't sure if he was even gonna make it to my wedding. My neice, Taylor, was born the day prior to our wedding. My brother was at the hospital with her and he was about 2.5 hours away. He kept asking me if I wanted him to come that day but I told him that he needed to be there with his daughter. Well, on his way to my wedding he got lost. I had to direct him there. He showed up...fifteen minutes before the wedding was set to start. I was glad to see him. I dunno if I would have let the wedding start without him.

#3. Cru Love. I felt extremely blessed to have my cousins (Eric, Mike, Marc) and my new brother-in-law (Michael) as my groomsmen. I was just as happy to have my crew (JFresh, Moe, D, Russ, Zell) as my groomsmen as well. There is something to be said for having the dudes who were down since day 1, stand at the altar with you. For much of my life, it was all about the crew. These dudes watched me grow from a boy to a man. For them to be there to share in the moment was special

#4. My Wife. When she walked into the back of the church, my mouth dropped. I had never seen her that radiant. All I could do was smile. The wedding went well (except for the preacher messing up once or 4 times). I married my best friend. She has helped make me a better man. I have to tip my hat to her b/c I'm not the easiest dude to deal with. LOL. But she's hung in there and we've made it this far.

People often ask me how do you make marriage work?

My response...day by day. That's it. Marriage is work. Hard work. Constant work. It's work when you don't wanna feel like working. If anybody tells you that they have a perfect marriage, they are lying. There's no such thing b/c people aren't perfect. If you don't have perfect people, you can't have a perfect marriage. Marriage is what you make it. It truly is. These last 9 yrs have been the best. I wouldn't trade it for anything. There have been bumps in the road...but there will never be a smooth ride. When times got tough, you want to look and make sure that she has your back as you prepare to fight the world. And she has done that. No matter what. I've done that for her. Like in any relationship, there are moments where I piss her off (i know that's hard to believe) but we've made a committment to each other. We're down for each other. Forever.

I remember several female friends in high school telling me...You're gonna make some young lady very happy one day.

I think i have.

Happy Anniversary, baby

I love you.

baggage claim

What does HE bring to this relationship?

What does SHE bring to this relationship?

Sometimes we are consumed with this thought when thinking about the other person. It doesn't matter if it's a friendship, relationship, or marriage. More often, we don't take the time to address the ISSUES that WE bring to the relationship. And we all have issues. Some are big. Some are small. But we all have our own issues.

I remember when I was in high school I vowed to never deal with a chick who already had a kid. I was young and single and didn't want to deal with that whole element. Was that fair? No. But that's how I felt. I never stopped to think of what or who I may pass up in the process. It's the same way now. If a dude says that he won't date a woman with kids, then he's limited his options.

Kids aren't the only issues. Almost everybody brings something from their previous relationships. We'd like to think that we don't but we do. Those issues aren't always bad. They help mold our current relationship. There are things that you did in a previous relationship that you won't do in your current one/next one.

Some of us have family issues. Broken homes. Broken relationships with parents/sibling. There is always some dynamic to ones family that will affect their personal relationships. It could be positive or negative. Family issues can be a huge burden on a relationship because you have to deal with family. You can't avoid em.

Like I said...we all have our own issues. I like to refer to the issues as bags. When you board an airplane, you've gotta bring your bags with you. We all have bags. Some bags are big and some are small. You can't ignore the bags as you watch them on the coveyor belt at baggage claim. You have to do what everybody will have to do...identify your baggage...pick it up...and take it with you.

off tha dome

random thoughts...

how can MTV show the VMAs (video music awards) when they don't show videos?

i still don't know who taylor swift is or what she sings

football is back! i love it!

if Prez Obama called Kanye a jackass...what do you think Dubya called him?

it's been a minute since i've read a book. i prolly should read one

can you believe that i HAVE NOT purchased Madden 10 yet?

ever wonder what happened to the kid in your high school class that was voted most likely to succeed? what are they doing now?

speaking of high school, i remember a dude in my class named george. he was the best dancer at my high school. he was white and i went to a predominantly black high school. don't tell me that all white people don't have rhythm.

george idolized michael jackson. he studied all his moves. he even dressed like mike. no lie!

i don't go out for drinks with co-workers. i just don't. when people drink, the truth comes out.

that's when you find out who in the company is sleepin' with each other. nah...i'll pass.

i know a dude who swears that he has a girlfriend...but she lives out of town. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite

was ernie and bert gay? i mean...2 dudes who lived together but never had any chicks over at their crib?

please get your cousin. tell her that this is not how we do it in 2009.

one of my favorite cereals is frosted flakes. i love captain crunch but it leaves the roof of my mouth battered.

first car....86 sentra. i drove it like it was a benz. your first car?

sleeping in for me is being able to sleep uninterupted until 8am

i missed the whitney interview on oprah. glad that i did.

if a dude tells me that he watches oprah with his old lady...i'm revoking his man card! you can't do that!

9/11...we'll never forget!

as you travel, keep a close eye on airport security. the security is always tight here in atlanta but i can't say that for other airports. i flew to dallas and i remember seeing screeners just standing around...joking and not paying attention to what they need to be doing.

got my permission slip signed! la for my burfday! i can't wait.

ladies...there is a such thing as too much cleavage at the workplace. just in case you forgot

fellas...women outnumber us on this planet. there are plenty for everybody! don't handcuff em. if she don't want you, move to the next woman. don't be a stalker.

ladies...when naming a daughter...please do not give her a stripper (shoe model) name...cynamon, peaches, lexus, etc

took the fam to disney for labor day weekend. we had a ball. i wonder how much the dude in the mickey suit makes a year?

still not feelin the mohawk look on little boys. i just don't like it

i found some old skool pics of me. if i can learn how to scan em...i'll post em to the blog

the more and more that i watch TVOne...the more i hate bet.

christmas is just around the corner. wow

my anniversary is right around the corner, too. i'm puzzled. what do you give the woman who has had the extreme pleasure of being married to ole 12kyle for 9 yrs? i mean...what more could you ask for?

jay z's blueprint 3 & raekwon's only built for cuban linx 2...cold

zoe saldana...zoe saldana...zoe saldana

growing pains...

recent convo...

ME: Man, these boys are growing up so fast. Never thought I'd have sons that are 10, 7, and 2. Time really does fly. I can remember the day that we bought Deion home from the hospital. Kinda hard to believe that it was 10 years ago.

Mrs12: Time really does fly

ME: Won't be long before the girls and stuff start.

Mrs12: What do you mean?

ME: I mean, it won't be long before he'll really start to like girls and things will really take off.

Mrs12: Take off? I don't understand.

ME: He'll like girls and then they'll be calling the house all the time.

Mrs12: Oh no! Those lil fast girls won't be calling MY house!

ME: Excuse me (laughs)

Mrs12: You heard me. Some of these lil girls are fast. Too damn fast. They won't call my house.

ME: At one point in time, YOU were a fast lil girl that called somebody's house! LMAO!!!

Mrs12: Yeah. Whateva.



The truth is...as parents you can't imagine your child being interested and falling in love with another child. You tend to look at your child through innocent eyes. In reality, when they become teenagers...sex will become an issue. You can try to hide it from em. But you have to remember that kids are exposed to so many things that we weren't exposed to. Back in my day, it was cool if you could get your hands on a copy of Playboy or Black Tail (some of y'all know about that). Nowadays, you can find any nudity you want (including porn) on the 'Net (some of y'all know bout that, too! LOL)

I always laugh when I hear dudes talk about how they are gonna protect their daughters from horny lil teenage boys. They talk about "getting their shotguns" to let these lil dudes know what time it is. Can't say that I blame em. If some young punk showed up at my door with 2 earrings, gold fronts, and with his pants falling off his ass coming to see my daughter (if i had one)...I'd wanna shoot his ass, too. Nothing wrong with being overprotected but we need to be honest with ourselves. You can't hide sex from teens. You could walk into any high school and I'm sure that you'd find very few virgins. Some of us got started earlier than others. LOL. But it's a sign of the time. There will be girls that will come along a make my boys THINK they are in love. And they'll get their little hearts broken. You don't wanna see it happen but it's a part of life.

I went on to explain to my wife that I'll be sitting down with Deion one day and explaining to him the birds and the bees. I won't tell him "DON'T BRING ME NO GRAND KIDS" (like my mom did). I'll talk to him about girls. Tell him the pros/cons to sex. I would never advocate that he has sex but I'd be unrealistic to think that he's gonna wait until he got married. I would prefer that he's ready. I think you know when you're ready. I'd tell him about HIV/AIDS, STDs, and pregnancies. I'd also tell him what Dad told me.

Before you do anything with a woman...ask yourself if you would want to deal with this woman for the rest of your life. If she gets pregnant, that's what you'll be facing.

Treat a girl/woman the same way that you would want another man to treat your sister.

I never forgot those words.

At the end of the day, you can only inform them and hope that they do the right thing. Some kids will wait. I didn't. But I did the right thing. Some women will say that they should have waited. Who knows what my sons will do? I just hope that they listen.

tha vent

This goes out to you...

This goes out to you...

And especially you...

From me to you...I'd like to tell you how I feel.

In my personal opinion... YOU AINT SHIT!

Yeah, I said it. If you don't like it, come see me. I ain't hard to find. This post is dedicated to all of those dead beat dads out there. Be a man.

For those of you who know me, I rarely call people out but you know that I'll tell you how I feel without holding my tongue. For those of you who know me, you know that fatherhood is something that I take very seriously. It is the most important job that I'll ever have. Having 3 sons, makes me want to work even harder at fatherhood because I know that they'll learn how to be a man from me. If I fail, I've failed those 3 little boys.

I don't understand how a man (and I use that term loosely for you bums) could help create a life but have nothing to do with it. You dead beat dads/baby daddies/sperm donars kill me. You would never seen an animal in the wild leave their young until they were able to fend for themselves. I don't understand your way of thinking. I won't attempt to. Some will say that they aren't in their child's life because of the strained relationship with the child's mother. That's bullshit. You can do anything that you want to do when it concerns your child.

Deadbeats are all around us. Take a look. You might be sitting next to one. You might be sleeping with one. If a man doesn't take care of his children...that are of his flesh and blood...he will do even LESS for you.

I can only shake my head at you fools. For example, I have a friend who hasn't seen her father in nearly 30 years. Thirty years? Are you serious? I have another friend who would chop his right arm off just to have a conversation with his daddy. He knows where he is but the father has denied for 36 years that my friend is his son. And then there's my niece's daddy. He's seen her twice in her 3 and a half years on this earth. Maybe he's spending time with the other kids that he had after she was born? Did i mention that he's only 23? Deadbeats. That's what y'all are.

Do me a favor...step up to the plate as a man and handle your business. For as great as children are...they didn't ask to come here. Just sending money isn't always the solution either. Spend time with your child. Bond with them. Children are smart. It won't take them long to realize what the rest of the world already knows...


YOU AINT SHIT!

time4acap

There comes a time for CHANGE

And I ain't talking about Prez O...

I think it's time for a change in the laws.

I would like to institute a salary cap...kinda like the NBA...on child support.

There should be a cap on the maximum amount that one can receive for child support despite of their parents earnings. Let me preface my comments by saying that this post ain't about those dead beat dads (baby daddy's) who pay little or nothing towards child support.

This post is for those "high priced babies." You know...the ones who costs more than my kids and your kids. The kids who are born to these celebs who need "special treatment" as a result of a divorce settlement or paternity test. In July, a judge ruled that the hip hop star NaS would have to pay his ex-wife, singer Kelis, nearly 40k/month in "support" (30k in spousal support and 9k in child support). Are you kiddin me? 40k per month? That's 480,000 a year. During their divorce proceedings, Kelis told the judge that she had not received any money from NaS during her pregnancy and she "only made nearly 21k per month." Kelis, who recently gave birth to the couples first child, asked the judge to make sure that she nor the child would not have to have a change in their lifestyle.

The judge ruled in her favor and granted that NaS pay her 9k a month for their child.

I have a HUGE problem with this. Kelis is not the first celebrity to cash in the child support dollars. Kim Porter, former model and the mother of 3 children to mogul Puff Daddy, cashed in for nearly 40k/month per child a few years ago. Porter and Puffy were never married. Fashion mogul Kimora Lee Simmons receives more than 100k/month from her ex husband hip hip mogul, Russell Simmons for their 2 daughters.

I think these amounts are insane. I understand that the "child support" numbers are determined by how much their fathers earn. I don't think any judge would ask NaS, Puffy, or Russell Simmons to pay "child support" that they couldn't afford to pay. I also understand that 40k per month for a multi-millionaire is like us paying 40 bux a month for a credit card. Do you really think that money is being used to "support the child?" Do the kids need Cristal in their Captain Crunch? Do the kids need platinum pampers? Do the kids need to be driven to school in a Bentley? What happens when these dudes don't earn this kinda money any more? Will these women still have the money that they should have set aside for the kids? Hell no

I'll be the first to admit that I don't know Kim Porter personally. However, I have run in the same circle as Ms Porter and we've been in some spots here in Atlanta. I don't know what she does with her money but I find it every time I've seen her...she and her girlfriends are pissy-drunk. I wouldn't call buying out the bar at a club a sound investment. But hey...that's just me.

I hereby propose salary cap on "child support." The new cap number is 7k per month. That is the max no matter how much the parent earns.

I think the cap is necessary because...quite frankly...if you can't raise a child on 84,000 per year...you prolly shouldn't have kids. If you can't raise a child on 84k, send em to me...I'll take care of em and you send ME the 84k.