Monday, August 20, 2012
How can a man not have a relationship with his child and be completely okay with it???
This question was posed to me a few weeks ago by good friend of mine. My first thought... in answering the question... was to state the obvious...I don't know.
I honestly don't know. But it is deeper than that answer. For those of you who know me and those who read this blog, you know how I feel about fatherhood. To me, fatherhood is the most important job that I will ever have. I love it. I cherish it. I embrace it. I think I embody everything that I father should be for their child. That's not bragging... that's the truth. But this is what I've gotten from my father and what I've seen from my uncles. I'm simply trying to carry on tradition.
To a man that has kids, fatherhood should be their EVERYTHING. These are the people who are totally dependent upon you. And I don't mean monetarily. As a man, you have to set the example for your child. No excuses. So when you choose not to take an active role in your child's life, what kind of messages are you sending? Do you want to be one of those fathers who wakes up one day and doesn't even know who their child is? Conversely, are you okay with your child not knowing who YOU are?
Relationships and marriages sometimes fail... and we all know that. Kids never asked to come here but they are created by two consenting adults. And as adults, we all should take an active participation in their growth and development for their entire life.
So what if she was just your baby's mama...
Who cares if the marriage didn't work?
Don't be mad because you fell out of love?
If you have a child from her... step up and be a man. Your child needs more than a few dollars and a couple of sneakers. They need you!!! There's nothing worse in life than seeing an old father who has missed many years of their child's life that they could never reclaim. And they want to reestablish a relationship.
Lastly, I am always amazed at the women who find these men and create MORE children with them. If you didn't take care of his kids before he met you, what makes you think that he will take care of the kids that you create? That makes no sense.
Never uphold a man who shuns his responsibilities because when you do you are a part of the problem