Tuesday, June 21, 2011
It's safe to say that my clubbin' days are long gone. It's rare that you'll find me in a club
This past Friday I made a rare appearance in the club. My boy, Travis, came to town and he wanted to hit a club. No problem. This is my dude. We've been tight since we were kids. I had a good time at the club. It was good hanging with Travis.
I realized something while i was there. There are 10 reasons why I DON'T GO TO CLUBS
1. Too old - Man, I'm 38 yrs old. Married. Father of 3...baby on the way. Despite my boyish good looks, I ain't giving you my phone number...and you can't have mine. As much as I like to dance, I don't wanna wake up with sore knees and hamstrings. I can still "scrrrrruuuuuuub the ground" but I chose to use my mean 2 step.
2. Smoke - I hate smokey clubs. I don't want my good clothes smelling like cigars or weed
3. Steppin on my Timbs - For some reason people always wanna walk past me...especially in a close space near the dance floor. And people are always stepping on my Timbs. Sometimes I just move out of the way before they get close to me
4. Deejays - the deejay can make or break a night at the club. If the DJ is wack, it will make for a long night
5. Sunglasses in the club - Most clubs aren't bright...yet you see dudes walking around with shades on in the club. I don't understand that concept. Can somebody explain it to me?
6. VIP - Never understood why dudes strive to get into an even more crammed area
7. The Circle Dance - groups of women (usually 3 or more) dancing in a circle TOGETHER and not dancing with the men in the club. That's corny.
8. Stay thirsty my friends - drinks cost wayyyyyy too much. $8 for a small glass of Henny. $4 for a bottle of water? C'mon son!
9. Bleeding ears - that ringing sensation in your ears from listening to loud music for 3 hrs
10. No clothes...no man - scantly clad dressed women who are trying to find a man. I watch them closely. They strike out every time. Even when they get attention...it's unwanted.