Thursday, October 15, 2009

closure


A few days ago, I was on the phone with one of my boyz.

In the middle of our conversation, he paused and yelled..."Heyyyyyyyy!"

I didn't know who he was talking to but he quickly got off the phone with me. He called me back 30 minutes later. When I answered the phone, there was a different tone in his voice. He sounded different.

He had just seen his ex girlfriend.

This was the ex that he had dated for a few years. The woman who he had talked about marrying. For all of the years that we've been close, I've never known him to be THAT serious about a woman. And she was a great woman for him. Unfortunately, their relationship didn't work. I think it was bad timing. Nevertheless, he sounded much happier when he called me back. He told me that he was sitting at a stop light and his ex girlfriend pulls up next to him in her car. They went to a nearby parking lot and chatted briefly before they both headed to work. He found out that she was married now.

I asked him why he sounded so happy. He told me that he finally had closure to the relationship. I had never thought about it. I know that he got over her. But he said that there was never any closure to the relationship. The fact that he was able to have closure put him in a better place.

I've only had one relationship that needed closure. I got that closure years ago and we've been friends for a long time. What about you? How important is closure to you? Is there any relationships boyfriend/girlfriend, (spouses), parents, or family members that needed closure?

hollatchaboi

8 comments:

MzInspiredMind81 said...

Closure is very important to me. Especially when it comes to romantic relationships. I don't think a person can truly move on and be ready for a relationship unless they have closure from their past. Without closure they are bringing unnecessary baggage into the new relationship, even if they don't realize they have baggage.(JMO). There was a relationship that I needed closure from. Everyone swore we would get married and live happily ever after. We didn't. We've been broke up for 3years now and I just got the closure I needed about 6months ago.

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

Closure is extremely important to me, and I usually try to seek the closure, but life has taught me that closure will come when it wants to.

I recently had closure from a horrible breakup I had two years ago, and the guy has came back into my life. Although he wants us to get back together, I'm content with us just being friends. Even though I have closure, I will never be able to trust him again...that's a different story.

Super Dave Van Buren said...

I'm usually pretty good with closure. When things are done I can accept it a move forward.

Tha L said...

Closure is only semi-important for me, I think. It really depends on how important that person is/was to me. For instance, I definitely needed closure with my ex-husband, and we are now really good friends again, like we were before we got married. Any other relationship I've had has not been that important, even if I thought it was when we were together LOL!

I could still use some closure with my father and my mother, for different reasons, but that probably won't happen until one of us is on our death bed.

ShellyShell said...

In a serious relationship closure is important to me. I know I will need closure with The Teacher but now is not the time. I'm sure it will happen in a few months because everything is fresh(6wks). In a friendship it depends on how cool we were. I had a girl that was my ace but she started dating my cousin and shyt went to pieces. We call each other on bdays but noting else. The last time I saw her was my bday in 08. It's sad because she was MY GIRL. I don't know exactly what happened but I know we don't talk anymore.

*sidenote*
I still owe you an email on what happened.

Trish said...

Ive gotten closure with all relationships, there is is one that took a while but I think we all need closure at some point or else you tend to keep wondering what happened, exactly why it happened, hows their life now, etc.

Rashan Jamal said...

I only needed it once, the rest of the times I was pretty secure in the reasons it ended. That one time took a long time to get closure though.

♫Hershey's Kiss♫ said...

closure is important to me. I don't want my life weighted down by excess baggage because Shaniqua broke my heart by cheating with my boy. Closure can help you grow and move on.