PODCAST : the office boo

Have you ever dated or been intimately involved with someone that you’ve worked with? Have you ever considered doing it? There are positives and negatives to getting involved with someone that you work with.

Listen to the latest podcast as I give you the “do’s and don’ts” when it comes to getting an OFFICE BOO.

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a letter to my 18 year old self

You're 18 yrs old. You're standing in bathroom preparing yourself for another day of school. You stare at the reflection in the mirror. You crack a smile...as you've done several times...then you say to the mirror..."You are great". This wasn't a daily affirmation. You were just reminding yourself of something that you had been taught and believed since you were about 6 yrs old.

You're a high school senior. You are surrounded by a great family. You have the best friends in the world. You're playing high school football at Wilson High in Florence, SC. You're enjoying every day of high school. Life is great. You feel like you know it all.

You don't know ANYTHING.

You'll be headed off to college soon. You have no idea how your life is about to change. You are about to leave your family behind. You'll only be 90 miles away at South Carolina State University. Little do you know...this will be the last time you'll live under the same roof as your mom, aunt, cousin, and your brother. Family is everything to you at 18. They are all that you know. They are a phone call away. So, is your father and your little sister. Your family is all that you have. You'll miss them and they'll miss you. Everything happens for a reason. Don't worry...your brother, Damon...will join you and your cousin at SC State in the fall of 1994. Before you leave Florence, savor it. Take it in. You won't realize how much this town means you until you're gone. It's home. Always will be. Do me a favor, Kyle...stop by the school to see Coach Wells. He was not only your head coach but a mentor. You never got a chance to thank him for all that he did for you. You'll be stunned by the phone call that you'll get 3 yrs later and the realization that he had passed away.

Somebody will soon ask you about your biggest fear and your response will be "losing touch with my crew". You have a ton of friends. But only a few that you can call crew. Nobody comes above the crew! Never has...never will. You're at a crossroad because everybody in the crew will soon be going in different directions as college looms. A few will head into the military. There was no such thing as email or cell phones. Hell...you won't even be able to call them because you don't have the money to pay for a long distance call. You will stay in touch via letters. It sounds strange. But it will work. You can't deny the bonds that you established with the dudes and girls in your crew. There's something to be said about the people who knew you from day 1. The ones who will watch you grow into the person that you will become.

At this time of your life, you have a few things that you love. Hip hop is one of them. You're engulfed in the music and the culture. It has become a major part of you and your life. The truth is...hip hop has always been there. That will never change. Your love for hip hop will never die. As for the girls, love has escaped you. Actually, you ran away from love. You had girlfriends and others that you liked but you couldn't love them. Why? The fallout from your parents divorce had an effect on how you viewed relationships. You secretly vowed to never let anyone get that close to you so you'd never experience the pain that you felt from the divorce. You don't realize how this changed your relationships. It made you unwilling to love, cautious, but not jaded. Here's the good news...you will soon find love, learn to open your heart, and you will learn to love. And that will change the way that you look at a lot of things.

Your first love is football. I could write you a dissertation on what football means to you and what you'll actually get from the game. Maybe I'll save that for the next letter. The game gave you so much. You will give back some of what you got later in life. Just know that your love for football will only grow. You're 18 now. You only have a few more years to play the game. Once you've stopped playing, walking away will be hard but you'll adjust.

Lastly...your world will change. In time, you will become a husband and a father. I can't put into words what that will do to you but you'll be a better man as a result of it. There is a lot more that I can say but I'll save that for the next letter. Continue to live each day to the fullest. Find something to laugh at each day. Never take anything too serious. I'll leave you with this word of wisdom that you heard at the age of 6 that has become your life's motto...

Think positive. Act positive. And you will become a positive person.


Love,
43 yr old Kyle

The Score...20 Years Later

1996 was an incredible year for hip hop. On February 13, 1996, the Fugess dropped their sophomore album, The Score. The album was a collection of an amazing blend of hip hop…infused with reggae, soul, and a Caribbean vibe. The album was a smash hit. The Fugees crew consisted of Pras, Wyclef, and Lauryn Hill. The NJ trio gave us one of the best albums of 1996 and an album that was considered by many to be a hip hop classic.

On The 12kyle Podcast, I will discuss the significance of The Score and give the album review. I will also breakdown the tracks and offer my perspective on the 3 member crew. Listen to the podcast and share your thoughts!

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PODCAST : All Eyez On Me...20 Years Later

1996 was an incredible year in hip hop. For this podcast, we take a look at one of the albums that set the standard for that year.

On February 13, 1996, Tupac Shakur released one of the best albums of that year, All Eyez On Me. The album came just after Tupac had served 11 months in jail. He was bailed out of jail by Death Row CEO Suge Knight. Pac jumped into the studio and began crafting what would be the last album to be released during his lifetime.

On this podcast, I take a look at the man, the music, the imprint it left in 1996, and it’s significance. Let me know your thoughts!

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PODCAST : Stop Hating

The word “hate” gets thrown around a lot these days. If someone doesn’t like something, they are immediately labeled a “hater”. But are they really hating??? The Urban Dictionary defines a “hater” as…

“A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person. Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. The hater doesn’t really want to be the person he or she hates, rather the hater wants to knock someone else down a notch.”

But can you dislike something/someone and NOT be a hater? We examine the phenomenon of “hating” and if we should stop using the word “hate”.

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off tha dome

random thoughts...

you know what's annoying...watching people walk around with their bluetooth earpiece in their ear when they are NOT on the phone.

one month down already for 2016. did it go by fast or what?

Mitt Romney has to be looking at Donald Trump and thinking "this is what it takes to win? Damn, I should have done this too"

my girlfriend is about to leave and I'm not happy about that at all

we're a month into 2016 and some of you are doing the same dumb stuff that you did last year. "new year...new me"! what happened to that???

i'm already ready for spring

i'm not sure about you...but i pray for my friends. why? that's what i'm supposed to do. that's just how i get down

gas prices are down to $1.50. that's cool with me.

some of the same folks who petitioned to have the show, Sorority Sisters, taken off the air...still faithfully watch Real Housewives of Atlanta

last year we got two surprise albums from D'Angelo and Dr Dre. maybe we can get a surprise album from LBoogie. i miss Lauryn Hill

New Edition to my generation is like what the Temptations were to the older generation

have you ever been riding beside a raggedy car that was making a lot of noise? you were so disturbed by the noise that you thought it was your car that was making the noise.

I miss watching Saturday morning cartoons

while I miss the concept of having a live show, The 12kyle Podcast is less time-consuming and more fun. I'm loving it.

Skyler is four years old and she is reading better than her brothers did at this age. I'm very impressed.

when somebody begins a sentence with the phrase..."I don't mean any harm but..." or "No disrespect..." it's usually means something that's not good will follow it

i think it's deplorable that the Oscars didn't nominate any person of color for their top awards. that said...to hell with the Oscars. i never watch it anyway

speaking of deplorable, the water crisis in Flint, Michigan is beyond deplorable.

i think i have too many passwords for my computers. the other day when i was at work, i tried to put my home login password into my work computer

thanks for the inspiration. it means a lot

"when I'm writing I'm trapped in between the lines, I escape when I finish the rhyme..." i think i'm starting to understand that feeling

i miss the old days of Blogger. it was like the neighborhood where everybody hung out. i miss y'all. no lie

do people still make REAL love songs anymore?

i don't like cats. never have.

i'm seriously thinking about getting a fish. just one. i'm gonna call him Abraham

are you intrigued??? Si, Si!! i love Papi. he's the funniest dude on tv

if you ever want to follow some of the worst crimes that are committed each day...follow the money trail.

i'm from the "go together era". back in the day, i wouldn't just say you are my girlfriend but we "go together". not sure what we meant or where we were going but it sounded fly

hip hop lives in me. i'll probably speaking in hip hop slang as an old man

the lady who lives around the corner from me STILL has not taken down her Christmas lights. c'mon son!!!

has there ever been a day when you didn't listen to any music? i can't say that it's ever happened to me

remember the kid in your 3rd grade art class who could never "color inside the lines"...yeah...that's me to this day

i took home economics when i was in the 8th grade just because all of the cute girls were in that class

willie washington! lmao! still funny to this day

i learned how to sew in that home economics class but i've forgotten how

my favorite network on tv right now...the Food Network...hands down

the best hour on tv...The Blacklist

i wonder what my elementary school teachers would think if they read this

writing in cursive...it's a lost art

let love reside IN YOU. that way, when you tell somebody that you love them...they not only see it but they FEEL it

yeah...i'm gonna get a black fish

love resides in me

there is a video of me as a teen singing in the church choir. if you ever saw that video, i'd have to erase the person who showed it to you. they'd get erased from the face of the earth. hahahah

Yo MTV Raps gets the slight edge over BET's Rap City

POCAST: Cliff Huxtable vs Bill Cosby

For decades, Bill Cosby entertained millions of people and was once considered to be “America’s Dad”. He brought joy to many as “Dr. Cliff Huxtable” on the smash 80s sitcom “The Cosby Show”. In recent years, allegations and lawsuits that accused him of sexual assault has tarnished Cosby’s “squeaky clean” image.

On this edition of The 12kyle Podcast, I take a look at Cliff Huxtable and Bill Cosby. I reflect on my memories and thoughts on both. Take a listen to the podcast and let me know your thoughts!

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PODCAST: shout outs

On January 22, 2010...I launched The 12 Radio Show.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

I was working in Minneapolis at the time. I would work in Minneapolis during the week and fly home back to Atlanta on the weekends.

It was a Friday.

I flew home and got ready to do my first show. I was nervous. I didn't really know what I was doing. The "red light" came on to start the show and I proceeded to start a venture that I would grow to love. It took me about 30 mins to figure out how to take live calls on the air. I had no idea that I'd be here writing and reflecting on that show.

Over the years, there were a lot of people who would go to lend me their time, talent, and support for this show. Since the end of The 12 Radio Show in December 2015, I didn't get a chance to officially thank those who helped and co-hosted on my shows over the years.

In keeping with the 80s style, this podcast is the Shout Outs podcast...me giving shout outs to everybody who contributed to The 12 Radio Show.

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5 Career Mistakes You Can't Afford to Make in 2016

In my reading, I came across this article that I found on Inc (dot) com. I think you may find it useful.

Ever wonder why school teaches us everything except how to get the job? Do you ever feel like managing your career is really hard? You're not alone. Millions of people are struggling to build careers that are satisfying. Professional happiness eludes the majority of the working population. According to Gallup, only 13 percent of the work force is highly engaged, a.k.a. happy at work. It's not for lack of effort. Everyone is trying to figure out the path to greater career success on his or her own terms. Why then, aren't more people succeeding? Answer: They're going about it all wrong.

Want a Better Career? Start Unlearning Everything You Know About Building One.

Everything we've ever been taught or thought would help us in our career is outdated. For example, studies now prove a college degree does not guarantee you a better career. And, seeking full-time, long-term employment is a pipe dream. Why? Because every job today is temporary. We live in the gig economy now. The entire way we work has shifted. Yet people still try to approach their careers thinking if they can just find a job that makes them happy, they'll live happily ever after. It doesn't work that way. More important, some major shifts in business and the economy are going to make it even more important that you no longer keep approaching your career the wrong way. If you do, you could find yourself at the bottom of the talent spectrum, under-employed, and struggling to find any job to pay the bills. With that in mind, here are five career mistakes you don't want to make in 2016.

1. Assuming your job is secure.

Companies are now forced to change their business models very quickly. Your skills could be in-demand at the office one day, only to be useless the next. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong. It's just business. But, when it happens, you need to be ready to find a new employer fast.


2. Not having your career tools ready.

Besides an updated resume, you also need an optimized LinkedIn profile. It helps even more if you have a full-fledged personal brand too (i.e., blog posts you've written showcasing your expertise. Twitter account where you share timely industry info, etc.). You just never, ever know when you'll need to throw your job search into high-gear. Wasting days and weeks building your career tools when you could have had them ready to go is poor planning.

3. Not building an interview bucket list.

There are two types of people: those who look for work on a job board and try to fit themselves into a job opening they aren't really excited about, and those who create a list of companies they'd like to work for and keep an eye on them online in the event the right opportunity presents itself. Guess which one usually lands a job worth being excited about? Today, it's up to you to create a list of viable employers and start to networking with their employees. It's not only more effective (studies show 80 percent of all jobs today are gotten via referral); it's also more fun. Who doesn't like choosing whom they want to work for?

4. Failing to know your workplace persona.

Nobody is a superhero at work. There are eight key workplace strengths (I call them personas and you can learn about them by taking this quiz). At best, you have two or three top workplace strengths. You need to know what they are and how they add value to the company. If you know how you save or make a company enough money to justify its paying your salary, then you know how to market that value to other companies if you need to.

5. Not investing in serving your network.

I can't stress this enough: Today, your network is your net worth. Your professional contacts are crucial to your getting the job opportunities you want and deserve. The best way to build a strong network is to serve it. Understanding how to help those you are connected to is vital. People remember when you help them. That social currency will come in handy. Someday, you may need their help. By building up trust and respect within your network, you'll be able to tap into their knowledge, expertise, and contacts when you need to. Waiting until you are out of a job and desperate for the help of your network is not the time to start thinking about what you've done to earn their assistance.

We Aren't Employees, We're Businesses-of-One.

If you really want a better career, you have to stop acting like a helpless employee held hostage by the golden handcuffs of employers. Instead, you need to take full ownership of your career and become a business-of-one who wants to partner with employers to serve them. Building a win-win situation between you and an employer is your job, not theirs. Why? You're the service provider and they're the customer. If you want their business, you need to build a brand that is in-demand. Something they will pay good money for. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can get the professional respect you want and deserve. If you're ready to be in control, you can start by mastering these career moves. 

It's Not Rocket Science, But It Does Take This.

Don't let outdated approaches to your career set you back next year. Avoid the mistakes above and focus on building your career strength. There are plenty of resources out there to help you close your gap in knowledge so you can get the upper hand. But, it's up to you to take action. Nobody's going to do it for you. Failing to do so could lead to some serious professional regret in the future.

PODCAST : In our day (hip hop)

I recently joined my homie, ecelctik, on his podcast (Encyclopedia Hip Hop) to discuss the things we miss about Hip Hop from the 80s and 90s.

This is an open forum conversation

Take a listen and let us know what you think

If you agree or disagree...let us know in the comment section.

CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO LISTEN

https://soundcloud.com/eclectik-931707759/in-our-day-hip-hop

PODCAST: head games

The game of football is not just a contact sport but a “collision sport”. Those who play the game are often regarded as modern day gladiators. Football is a game of strength. Man verses man…until the end. It’s the most popular sport in this country. Fame and glory is often associated with football. But football also has a darker side.

Because the sport is so violent, its participants feel the after effects of playing the game long after they are done playing.

Football is violent…but is it deadly?

The recent movie, Concussion, exposes the downfall from playing the game. In the movie, Will Smith plays Dr Bennet Omalu, a Nigerian forensic pathologist who fought against efforts by the National Football League to suppress his research on the brain damage suffered by professional football players. The movie is deep, entertaining…yet disturbing.

On this podcast, I briefly discuss the movie along with my story of playing football from the age of 8 through college. Can football cause long term cognitive damage? Are today’s current players susceptible to dementia, Alzheimer’s, and the brain disease chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE).

Listen, share, and let me know your thoughts

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7 Things a Daughter Needs from Her Father

This is a great article that I found on All Pro Dad (dot com). After reading the article, it made me reflect on the blossoming relationship that I have with my 4 yr old daughter, Skyler. She is my heart. We have a great relationship and I truly love being around her. I know that the relationship that we have will help mold many of her decisions later in life. It's a huge responsibility that I don't take lightly. This article hits home. Read below...

7 Things a Daughter Needs from Her Father

As a girl grows up, men will come in and out of her life, but the one man who will always be there is her father. A father plays a vital role in his daughter’s journey to adulthood, and below are seven things what a daughter needs from her dad. 

1. She needs you to be involved.

A daughter needs her father to be actively interested in her life. “Actively interested” does not refer to the second-long conversation that sometimes happens between a father and daughter when he asks how her day went and she replies with one word. A father should participate in his daughter’s hobbies and activities by displaying interest. For example, if she is interested in collecting coins, take her to coin shows. Use the Internet to learn about rare coins and talk about them. Is your daughter talented in the any sports, such as volleyball? Whether she wants to play or just enjoys watching the games, become an enthusiastic fan and supporter! Show your daughter that you are interested in her life by learning more about it and trying to become a part of it.

2. She needs you to demonstrate a healthy marriage.
The first relationship a daughter experiences is the one between her mother and father. If her father disrespects his wife with physical or emotional abuse, a daughter might come to believe that is the expected relationship with a husband. However, a father that displays physical affection, respect, and a true partnership with his wife provides an incredible example that his daughter will want to mirror in her own life.

3. She needs you to support her.

Even though a father may not always agree with his daughter, she needs to know you will support her. When a father fully and wholeheartedly supports his daughter, she will develop strong self-esteem and a positive self-image. This doesn’t mean that you always have to agree with her, but show her that while you might not agree with a choice she is making, you will always believe in her as a person and have confidence in her abilities.

4. She needs to trust you as a confidante.

When your daughter does come to you and discusses personal issues and problems, she needs to know that you will treat them with respect and confidence. They shouldn’t become dinner-table conversation with the rest of the family.

5. She needs your unconditional love.

Just as our Father in Heaven demonstrates unconditional love, fathers on earth need to display this as well. Unconditional love requires that a daughter knows no matter how badly she messes up, her father will be there, not to ridicule and demean but to forgive.

6. She needs a strong spiritual leader.

A father should be the spiritual head of a household and should take charge of his children’s religious education. Pray with your daughter! Don’t be shy about bringing the Lord into your conversations with her.

7. She needs a positive role model.

Many daughters today lack a positive male role model in their life. A father is the first man in a girl’s life that she will intimately know. Her father sets the standard for all other men in her life, and a positive role model will help her choose a good husband in the future. Take a moment for some self-reflection. Are there any habits you need to break? Are there some areas of your own life that could use a “spiritual overhaul” and prayer? When your daughter sees that you are willing to examine your own life and make changes when necessary, you provide the best example she could ever have of accepting responsibility for her actions.

PODCAST : not Top 5

When it comes to making a “Top 5 list” for any category, it can be extremely subjective. Quite often, our personal preferences get in the way of us making a sound case for someone/something being worthy of a “Top 5” status. It can be tricky. But Top 5 lists are fun…and if nothing else…good for conversations and debates

On this podcast, I will discuss hip hop and some of its most beloved and respected MCs. However, instead of naming a Top 5 of the greatest MCs, I will examine the MCs who are quite often placed in many people’s Top 5…but I don’t think their lyrical prowess should be considered for the honor. Listen closely. I may drop some names that may surprise you. Am I right? Or am I wrong. Listen and tell me what you think!


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2015 Year in Review Pictures

My year in review (sorta)...in pictures

January 

January was cold. That is all. LOL

February

My first "little man"..my godson, LaKell turned 18. He's a freshman at Clemson now. Where did the time go?

On the set for a Dead End Sports shoot. Dead End Sports got BIGGER in 2015. I'm proud of that!

March

Drinks! Why not?

Sherice got a little older. hehehe

April

Cold chillin after the comedy show. I laughed SO hard that night! Great times with our friends

May

Skyler playing the piano at Grandpa's house

Crushing it at the Sundresses and Searsuckers event here in Atlanta with my partner in crime, Moe. Incredible weekend

Skyler's first dance recital. She's joined by her brothers...Kameron, Deion, and Brandon

June

My Atlanta Hawks make it to the Eastern Conference Finals in the NBA Playoffs

July

It's the 4th and Skyler is helping me with the hamburgers and hot dogs

It was sooooooo hot that day. Damn! Just thinking about it makes me sweat!

The annual crew golf outing. It had to be at least 105. My game sucked. But we had a ball

August

Deion turns 16 and Kameron turns 13. We had their birthday parties at our house...at separate times that day. I loved it

Kameron

Deion

August

First day of school for the kids!

September

Although my SC State crew came together for the homegoing service for my boy Bobby's dad...we had a great time together. Even in the most somber moments...you can still laugh

Skyler said "let's take some silly pictures." So...we did

Skyler turned 4! Can't believe my princess is growing up

October

Deion made the marching band at his school. He took a second to break away to pose with his baby sister

November

SC State's Homecoming! We had the chance to take Deion with us so that he could see what our school was like. Phenomenal weekend

Sherice, Deion, and me

Big smiles from Deion, me, and my college coach...Willie Jeffries

December

I turned 43...and became the coolest and illest 43 year old that you know

Brandon turned 9 the day after me

Skyler enjoyed the 80 degree weather on Christmas Day

2015 was a year that had it's ups and downs...highs and lows. Ultimately, it was a great year...because we ALL got to see it. And that is more than enough to be thankful for!!!

May 2016 be filled with blessings and prosperity for you and yours!!!

PODCAST : the last time that I got drunk

Do you remember the LAST time that you got drunk? 

Did you do something crazy or stupid? 

Did you get sick? 

Did you embarrass yourself? 

Do you even REMEMBER what happened???

Do you know what happens when you mix lifelong friends, liquor, a bachelor party, strippers, food, and a wedding together??? Shenanigans!!! Listen to this podcast and get my comical version about the last time that I got drunk! Let me know what you think. Also, share your story about the last time that you got drunk.


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12kyle does Proust...

I came across this questionnaire from my homegirl, The Skinny Black Girl.  I decided to steal borrow it.

The Proust Questionnaire is a questionnaire about one’s personality. Its name and modern popularity as a form of interview is owed to the responses given by the French writer Marcel Proust.


1. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Standing on a grass field and tossing a football with my sons. The simplistic aspect of playing catch with your sons is priceless. 

2. What is your greatest fear? My biggest fear is for something to happen to one of my kids. I would never want to see them hurt or in any danger. 

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? I'm a perfectionist at times. I'm extremely hard on myself so I want things to be perfect when I know that most things CAN'T be perfect. It's the gift and the curse

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others? Liars. I really can't stand to be around people who can't tell the truth

5. Which living person do you most admire? My parents

6. What is your greatest extravagance? None

7. What is your current state of mind? Progressive. I'm always thinking ahead. Sometimes I'm so focused on what's ahead that I don't enjoy the moment

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Beauty. They weren't lying when they said it was only skin deep. I know a lot of people who are beautiful on the outside but ugly on the inside.

9. On what occasion do you lie? Anytime I start a sentence with..."Back in my day..." Nah...just kidding. I don't lie

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance? Those pesky little gray hairs. It seems like I will get rid of one of them and then 3 more will show up. *sigh*

11. Which living person do you most despise? There's no one person that I despise. I don't put that much effort into people...especially ones that I don't like. 

12. What is the quality you most like in a man? Loyalty is a character trait that must be present in a man. I can respect a man that is loyal to his fellow man. Men tend to bond based on levels of loyalty. 

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman? A woman with drive. There's nothing more sexier and impressive. Who wants a lazy woman? 

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse? "Are you kidding me??" -- I use this too much but it's only when I'm watching sports and trying NOT to cuss in front of the kids

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life? My kids. They are my heartbeat

16. When and where were you happiest? Freshman year in college. I don't think you could be THAT broke and have THAT much fun! They say that you learn more between birth and the age of 6 than you learn your life. Well, I think I learned more that year...being on my own and away from home...than I've learned at any other time in my life. 

17. Which talent would you most like to have? I wish that I could play the piano. I'd be dope. What's cooler than a dude playing the piano? Nothing.

The entire questionnaire is thirty-five questions. I’ll post 18 – 35 later this week.

PODCAST : ask 12kyle...

Sometimes when you have a burning question…you need to ask someone who will tell you what you NEED to hear…not what you WANT to hear. It’s good to seek the advice of someone who knows what they are talking about and will be impartial in their response.

That’s what host 12kyle does on this edition of The 12kyle Podcast. A few months ago, we gave our readers a chance to open up to us about any problems or issues that they were having and we would address them on the podcast. On this edition, 12kyle fields a wide range of questions from choosing a major in college, dating and relationship problems, giving money to a church…and MUCH MORE! Listen to the podcast and let us know what you think. 

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