7 Annoying Things You Should Stop Doing On Facebook

I found this article on hellobeautiful.com after it was posted on Facebook by my boy OJ last week. Very interesting...

Where the heck are the “Dislike” and “Eye-roll” buttons on Facebook? The creators of the social media giant are slipping because these days, Facebook is being heavily abused by most users! Annoying is the word that comes to mind when I log onto my Facebook account. From statuses bragging about amazing jobs or vacations to the statuses that subliminally chastise a cheating lover, I am beyond annoyed with Facebook

Out of the 1000 friends you have connected to you on your Facebook, about 20 percent of those people (and sometimes less) are actually your friends who care about you and your day to day life filled with bragging, enlightened messages and relationship woes.

In order to start the new year off right, I wanted to make sure that you understood that there are indeed several annoying habits that play out on Facebook and you should stop them…now. Want to know what they are so you can stop? Check them out below:

1. The Brag

You know those statuses. “Life is so awesome. I just snagged a new promotion, bought a new car and signed the lease for my new mansion. It’s hard work, but somebody’s got to be amazing. LOL! #LovingLife”

A post making your life sound great, either you got your dream job, got your degree, love your new apartment you’re taking off on an amazing trip, just met your favorite singer, heading out on a fun night with friends or just had an amazing day–no matter how you look at it, is a brag!

Either you are honestly really that excited about your life, you want people to see you in a specific light or you’re trying to make the people in your life feel worse about their own lackluster lives because yours is so great. No matter your excitement, there are less public ways to share your good fortune. You could call, email, text or just tell your loved ones that things are going great for you. And when someone asks you how you day is, instead of simply stating, “Fine,” why not detail how awesome your day truly is?

The Bottom Line: Your moment of self-satisfaction is brutally annoying to people you’re not that close with, and those are the people who make up the vast majority of your Facebook audience.

2. The Humble Brag

What’s worse than bragging? Doing it with the intention of appearing humble. Many people disguise these brags as rants–something like, “OMG, can’t I just go to work in the morning. Three men stopped me to tell me I was beautiful and asked for my number, a man gave me his seat on the subway, telling me, ‘You’re way too gorgeous to have to stand,’ then I get to work, just to be honked at and winked at twice before I walked in the door. Grrrr #MenSuck!”

We get it, you’re beautiful, so the world can’t help but notice and obviously, it’s exhausting. SMH. Don’t tell the world that, via Facebook because honestly, we don’t care. If we know you, then we know you’re exceptionally gorgeous. We’re only friends with you in the first place to look at your photos in the middle of the night, while eating Ben & Jerry’s.

Oh and there’s others like, “Packing for Maui. Ugh anyone know a device that will help me pack my cutest summer gear in a flash?” We get it, you’re going on a trip. Great for you. The bragging for trips should really start once you’re actually on the trip, you’re going to flood our timeless with jealousy-inducing tweets anyway.

The Bottom Line: Wrapping your bragging in a pretty and humble package doesn’t make it anymore tolerable. Stop it and stop it right now. Oh and it also doesn’t make you humble.

3. Detailing Your Amazing Or Awful Relationship

What are you trying to prove by telling everyone on Facebook that you love the love of your life? That’s understood. And on the opposite side of the same coin, we have the many women and men scorned, who take to Facebook to vent their hatred toward their significant other.

Maybe the folks who share way too much about their loving or not-so-loving relationships are trying to strengthen the relationship or show that they’re so much better than their good-for-nothing ex by publicly showing their feelings, rather than saying it in private.

Really?! You’re gonna drag 800 of your “closest friends” into your crap because you couldn’t find a more creative way to go over-the-top in expressing yourself?

The Bottom Line: There’s no excuse for it! Just because you feel the need to plaster your relationship all over Facebook, doesn’t make it the only way to express your love. There are plenty of socially acceptable ways to do so–in fact, go nuts with couple profile photos and enjoy the plethora of incoming “Likes,” and comments when you change your status to “in a relationship,” “engaged” and/or “married.” But sharing every little nuance in your relationship is just unacceptable. We don’t care.

4. Updating Your Status, Literally

Often times, out days are mundane. We wake up, get dressed, go to work or about our days, go home and do it all over again. So when you hop on Facebook first thing in the morning and say, “Just woke up. #IWokeUpLikeThis #Flawless,” no one cares.

“Hitting the shower. That was a HARD workout.” What do you want? A bunch of “Likes” and virtual high fives? People are honestly not that invested into your everyday life. Narcissism is the name of the game and honestly, so is loneliness. Facebook has given lonely folks a venue to express themselves without shame or discretion. I’m pretty sure the world could care less about what should really be IM away messages. Remember those? We used to take those little messages seriously!

The Bottom Line: This is severe narcissism at its worst. It’s as if somehow, because you’re you, even the smallest details of your life are interesting to others. A weird part of the life of a major celebrity is that people are obsessed with everything about them. If you’re not a celebrity, this is not a problem you have, promise.

5. Spouting Enlightened Messages

While I appreciated being inspired and reading messages of positivity on my Facebook feed, I grow very weary of those who think they their words of wisdom mirror Deepak Chopra’s. What’s worse than that are the folks who use various Bible quotes or deep quotes they looked up on Google, “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” -Aristotle Onassis

There’s nothing honorable or inspiring about you Googling quotes. You know what inspires people? When you achieve something incredible and let that serve as an example and inspiration to others. While I can appreciate your heightened sense of self-esteem, your Facebook update is not going to change the world. It just won’t.

The Bottom Line: When you post something inspirational or “deep on Facebook, it seems you are trying to explain to the world that are you indeed profound and that your words alone can spark a revolution. That can’t and won’t happen. By all means, keep spreading positivity, but let me make it plain for you–You’re not as profound as you think.

6. Subliminal Messages

Every time I see one of those specific messages with no name, I think, “Who hurt you?” Do you know the 800 plus people are are following you? If you did, you’d know that the one or two people who would even think the message is about them would never say anything in your comments, so what’s the point of even putting it out there? Is there any satisfaction on your part once you’ve shared this cryptic status with the world?

“Something, you can be really annoying, but I’ll never stop loving you. You know who you are you.” Do they? If this message was so important, why not make the grand gesture of going to the person specifically and telling them?

The Bottom Line: You are clearly still stuck in high school, wanting the world to know that something you are socially involved in is something they need to know about, but not all the way know–just know enough to be jealous. Please stop. Grow up.

7. Stupid Invites To Play Stupid Games

I love my sister dearly, but every time I log onto Facebook, I am slammed with invites from her to play Candy Crush or some other pointless game created to steal away all of my time and attention. I don’t want to play and if I did, I am pretty sure I’d seek you out.

Here’s a suggestion–befriend people who update their statuses like, “I love dumplings,” or “I’m so sleepy,” and ask them to play. They’re bored and will likely say yes and then proceed to tell the world about it in status updates.

The Bottom Line: Ain’t nobody got time for that! I am not on Facebook to play games with you. And if I was, I know where to go. Stop inviting me. Also–if I never said yes from the first invite, why would you continue to invite me. This means you have no common sense and we probably shouldn’t be friends.

With all that said, are you guilty of being annoying on Facebook?

Dating & Relationships 900...12 Radio Show

Check out the 12 RADIO SHOW. The 12 RADIO SHOW is the most innovative and interactive show on Blog Talk Radio. Tune in tonight at 9pm EST as the host, 12kyle, informs and entertains! Don't just listen to the show...be a part of the show and participate in the interactive chat room...or call in to speak with 12kyle and his co-hosts.

On this week's episode, we'll talk about dating & relationships with Keli from (boissuq.com). 

You will learn a lot about yourself and your relationships. Don't miss this show!

You can listen online (www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle) or via phone (347)215-7162. Press #1 if you want to speak to the host.

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Can You Answer These 4 Trick Interview Questions?

I found the following article on careermeh.com. I found it to be very interesting. While I can't say that I've been tripped up in any interviews, this is could happen to anybody. The question is...how would YOU handle it???

1. About the Company:
What Is the Worst Thing You’ve Heard About This Company?

This interview question is used to shock the applicant, testing their composure and ability to think on their feet. You shouldn’t say anything too negative, because this may offend the interviewer and they could question why you would be applying to the company if you’ve heard such negative reports about it.

In a similar manner to how you would answer questions about any of your own shortcomings, frame your reply in positive terms. This is a chance to show that you’ve done your research. Pick out a recent problem that has been in the news and advertise yourself and your qualities as part of the solution:

The most negative news I have heard regarding JPMorgan Chase was the charge of misleading investors during the housing crisis — selling low-quality mortgage-backed securities to investors who were unaware that the securities often contained faulty mortgage products. However, what followed wasn’t negative at all; in fact, it was good and encouraging to see how the problem was faced head-on, even with a record $13 billion settlement with U.S. authorities.

After acknowledging that serious misrepresentations were made to the public, now many investors seem to think the bank will emerge relatively unscathed from the fines, with the share price bumping up against a 10-year high. I think shareholders have responded positively to the resolution of some of the uncertainty around the company.

2. About You:
What Can You Do for Us That Someone Else Can’t Do?

This can be tricky, because you don’t know what other candidates have applied for the job. The key here is to really sell yourself and give an account of the attributes/experiences that make you stand out:

I can offer unbeatable enthusiasm, an excellent knowledge of criminal law as well as recent issues that have come up in the press, and I have great communication skills, demonstrated by my role as Communications Editor for the student newspaper. On top of this, what really sets me apart from other candidates is my strong ethical code and my desire to help others.

Throughout my time at college, I volunteered at local charities and also helped to set up a social enterprise society that now advises and helps struggling local businesses. My tireless devotion both to my work and to those around me tends to make me a more useful team player than my peers; it is this that can set me apart from the other candidates you have and will interview.

3. About Your Work:
Have You Already Done the Best You Are Capable Of?

This can be a double-edged sword and shows why one-word answers are a definite no!

If you say no, they might ask why you don’t think you’ve been doing your best work. Have you been lazy? Complacent? If so, why should they hire you? On the contrary, to say yes would be to admit your best work is behind. Why would a company hire someone who believes they have already peaked?

The trick is to say yes and no, while also saying neither. This sounds like a confused oxymoron, but it can make sense. You need to show confidence in regards to any past work, but believe that your best work is ahead of you. You need to be modest but confident and see the position you’re applying for — and the coworkers — as a positive way achieve more:

I would say that I always do the best work I can at any given time. In my past work, it’s true to say that I did the best I was capable of, running the business team of a social enterprise society during my final year of college while also working on group projects and my personal dissertation. It meant a few sleepless nights approaching deadline week, but it resulted in the society turning a profit for the first time in several years, as well as receiving top honors for my dissertation.

However, I believe that I can achieve even better work in the future, especially in this position. With the opportunity to learn from the other team members, as well as the on-the-job training I believe you provide, I expect to excel to new heights while working in these surroundings.

4. About the Interview:
How Would You React if I Told You Your Interview So Far Was Terrible?

This is a test to see how well the candidate can maintain their composure. The interviewer is looking for the candidate’s ability to think on their feet and whether they can respond articulately under pressure. In this situation, you should be diplomatic and notice that the interviewer used the word “if”:

I have to admit, I would be somewhat disappointed, especially as I believe that I’ve answered your questions rather well and have shown why I would excel in the position. However, I would take this as a challenge. I would try to establish in what ways I had failed to meet your expectations, before spending the remainder of the interview proving to you that I am indeed the perfect candidate.

I have every confidence that I suit the role perfectly and I believe that I can show you why, if you could tell me how I have let myself down so far.

last day of school

(Deion, Kameron, Brandon & Skyler (photobombed it at the bottom)

Where did the school year go?

It feels like the school year just started a few weeks ago.

Today is the last day of the school year!!!

It was an interesting year in my house. The kids were all in their milestone grades. Brandon (7) has completed the 1st grade. He was on the Honor Roll and was named Student of the Month for the month of April for his school. Kameron (11) has completed the 6th grade. It was his first year of middle school. He made the Honor Roll for most of the year and balanced playing football last fall. Honestly, I didn't know how he'd handle the workload from his classes and practice but he got it done. Deion (14) completed his freshman year in high school. While he didn't make the Honor Roll, he adjusted to high school quicker than I thought he would. I need to re-direct his focus from girls to working harder in the classroom. He will do better next year!

The last day of school brings back many memories for me. But things are so different for these kids. We would leave school for the summer and you wouldn't see most of your friends until school started again. Nowadays with technology, these kids will keep in touch with their friends on a daily basis.

Remember when you went to camp for the summer back in the days??? You did that for a week or two and it was dope. My kids will go to summer camp every day this summer. It's fun for them but it doesn't sound like as much fun as we had.

Then...we always explored that sacred place back in our day...it was called OUTSIDE. There was nothing like being outside for HOURS at a time. Sometimes I'll send my kids outside to play in the yard only for them to come back inside 15 mins later for water or a popsicle.

There was always a big FIGHT at school on the last day of school. You could fight and get away with it because you probably wasn't going to get suspended...unless you got caught. The fight always started with somebody saying something like "I don't like _____. I've been wanting to beat her up all year. Tell her that I'm gonna get her on the last day of school." Somebody would relay the message and it'd go from there. There was always somebody trying to be Don King and they'd hype the fight up. I remember 2 girls who fought on the last day of 8th grade. I told myself that I had to see that fight because they were fighting over a boy. Well, they fought after school on the last day. Fists and hair was flying. Next thing that I know...a bra comes off and we get a glimpse of one girl's breasts!!! She was one of the finest girls in the school. And when I saw her breasts, I felt like I had just witnessed one of the best things ever!!!

Thankfully, there will be no fights at their schools tomorrow. And that's a good thing!

Sex Show 900...12 Radio Show

Check out the 12 RADIO SHOW. The 12 RADIO SHOW is the most innovative and interactive show on Blog Talk Radio. Tune in tonight at 9pm EST as the host, 12kyle, informs and entertains! Don't just listen to the show...be a part of the show and participate in the interactive chat room...or call in to speak with 12kyle and his co-hosts.

On this week's show, we are going to talk about sex with ShellyShell and Diggame. 

We'll have an entertaining and funny look at sex. The show will be hot and sensual. 

WARNING...if you have not had several years or if you're easily aroused...you may want to skip this show.

You can listen online (www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle) or via phone (347)215-7162. Press #1 if you want to speak to the host.

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muzikmonday vol 2

MuzikMonday...

here are a few joints that I heard this week while listening to Pandora


Fool for You - Cee Lo Green featuring Melanie Fiona


I was very late on finding out how dope Melanie Fiona was. She can SING. I've been rocking with Cee Lo since he and Goodie Mob broke on the music scene in the mid 90s. Very deep song that most people can relate to. We've all been a fool for someone. I know I have. And that's not always a bad thing






Don't You Have A Man - Drake featuring Little Brother & Dwele


I'm not a fan of Drake. Never been. But this is my favorite joint from here. This dropped in like 2007. Little Brother, Phonte and Pooh, was still a group at the time. All 3 of the fellas provide dope bars as well as a nice hook from Dwele.






What Are We Doing - Robert Glasper Experiment featuring Brandy


This joint bangs. Period. I was pleasantly surprised to hear Brandy sound this good






Slippin - DMX


I miss THIS DMX







Can You Stand the Rain - New Edition


Classic!!!!

8 things women just don't do anymore (that they should!)

I found the following article the other day on my boy OJ's Facebook page. It was written by Tara Carr. I think she did a remarkable job conveying the the issues of today. If you read this and say "what about the things that men don't do...then you've missed the point."

There was a time when a woman's greatest duty and achievement was taking care of her man. The women of the 2003 movie Mona Lisa Smile were a great example of what women were essentially breed to do. They went to college, but they didn't really plan on using their degrees (or even graduating in some cases). The plan was to get married as soon as possible and put those Home Ec skills to good use!

But today's breed of women is certainly a different one. Many historical events have lead to the evolution of the female role and Suzy Homemaker is now Ms. Independent. But just because certain "old-fashioned" ways have been phased out, doesn't mean they should be completely retired. You can still have your career and your own mind and what not, but maybe there are a few things that women just don't do anymore, that they should!

So what do you think? What is something women just don't do anymore that they should?

Cook

Some women these days don't cook! Back in the day, every woman had to take home economics. It was mandatory. It pretty much taught you how to be a wife. You learned how to cook, clean, sew, polish silver, host a dinner party, and help your man get a promotion! Nowadays, women only know how to cook if someone took the time to teach them how to cook. But if you're 20-something (or older) and still don't know how to cook, you better get started on some Pinterest meals! Start with the easy stuff and work your way up. You at least need to know how to make two or three meals for your man that he will love.

Clean

Some people are slobs and some are neat freaks and some are somewhere in between. But a lot of women don't really know how to "keep house". A lot of people nowadays didn't even have chores growing up. But even the ones who did have chores growing up feel like they're "grown" now and don't have to do that anymore. Well you do! And while your husband/boyfriend should be able to pick up after himself, as the woman of the house, you should be able to maintain a clean house.

Fix his plate

Women across the country at cookouts and family reunions and holidays can now be heard saying "He can fix his own plate... Ain't nothin' wrong with his legs..." (with an eye roll). That is not right ladies! You should honor your man by fixing his plate. You don't necessarily have to do it every single time he eats (because seriously, there's nothing wrong with his legs), but at least do it when you are in public as a sign of respect. And no, it's not demeaning. Have a servant's heart. Respect and honor him and he should return the favor.

Watch your mouth

Women these days curse way too much! It used to be illegal to curse in public (it technically still may be in some places). And "a lady" didn't curse. Nowadays, we're all just calling each other b*****s and h**s like it's no big deal - like it's a compliment! And some women curse like a sailor. That is just not attractive. Try to refrain from cursing, especially in certain situations - like maybe church, class, in front of his new boss, etc. Have some class!

Dish out compliments

Women of the 1950s TV sitcoms were quick to compliment their man. But nowadays women just want to soak up all the compliments. But the truth is, it should go both ways. If anything, men should receive way more compliments than women because they are way more sensitive and insecure than they let on. Try to increase the number of compliments you dish out each day. Whatever you're doing now, it's probably not enough.

Keep yourself up

Women used to really focus on "keeping themselves up" and always "looking presentable". Always. At all times. There was no walking out in public with your hair wrapped or in curlers. And there definitely was no being seen in public in sweats (or the 1950s equivalent). Nowadays, women are so comfortable and lax that they'll just go out looking any kind of way and don't really invest effort in maintaining their bodies in general. Work out. Eat healthy. Look presentable. Take care of yourself. You are a reflection of your man. Make him look good!

Dress up for dates

Just because you've been in a relationship for awhile now doesn't mean you don't have to take the time to look nice when you go out together. Date night should be just as exciting as a first date! Women used to put forth just as much effort regardless of if it was a new suitor or her husband of twenty years. Keep doing what you did to get him to keep him! He will definitely notice and appreciate the extra effort.

Anticipate his needs

You should be so in tune with your man that you know what he's thinking before he thinks it. You should know what he wants and needs before he even asks. Women used to be on point when it came to this one! They would have a cold beer waiting, a cigar, and dinner on the table. She would take his hat and coat before he could even get in the door good! But now, women tend to ignore the signs and just wait on him to ask (and then complain about it!). Don't do that. Try to anticipate his wants and needs. Be that help meet that he needs. As his woman, you should make him better.

Dating & Relationships 850...12 Radio Show

Check out the 12 RADIO SHOW. The 12 RADIO SHOW is the most innovative and interactive show on Blog Talk Radio. Tune in tonight at 9pm EST as the host, 12kyle, informs and entertains! Don't just listen to the show...be a part of the show and participate in the interactive chat room...or call in to speak with 12kyle and his co-hosts.

TOPIC - Dating & Relationships 850 with Mz InspiredMind! We'll cover the good and bad that comes with dating and relationships. You don't want to miss this!!!

You can listen online (www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle) or via phone (347)215-7162. Press #1 if you want to speak to the host. You can also send tweets if you want to have your questions answered or comments to @12kyle

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throwback thursday (allergic2crazy)

*re-post from 2010*

I don't have any allergies...

Well...I do have one

I'm allergic to crazy people. Crazy women in particular. I had an allergic reaction to one. Wanna hear about it?? Of course you do!

Back in '98, I was a young bachelor who had just moved to Atlanta. Since I was new to the city, I felt the need to branch out and meet new people because I didn't know anybody. I was working for a finance company at the time. I liked the environment and I liked the potential growth.

One day at work, my supervisor advised me that we would be having lunch with some clients. I really didn't feel like going to lunch with the clients that day because I figured that I'd be meeting with a bunch of old stiffs who wanted to talk about the stock market all day. I wasn't interested but I had to go. To my surprise, there was a young lady at the lunch meeting. Her name was Toni. I was surprised to see her because the lunch meetings usually consisted of men. Toni was cute, too. We sat next to each other during the meeting. She told me that she had graduated from Spelman College. She was enrolled in the Masters program at Georgia Tech. When she saw my championship ring, she asked where I played football. She told me that she was a big football fan. Over the lunch, I realized that we had a lot in common. After the meeting, we exchanged phone numbers.

I took her number because I wanted to get to know as many people as I could. I wasn't looking for a girlfriend. I had just broken up with my girlfriend (now wife). So, I was a free agent, right (lol)???

Toni called me a few days. We talked on the phone for 2 hours. The conversation started out on a professional tip. She changed it quickly made it personal. I was ok with that. We discussed our likes/dislikes and previous relationships. We talked the next day for 2 hours. I learned a lot about her. And I'm sure that she learned a lot about me. A few days passed...I didn't hear from her and I didn't call her. That was cool with me. I was busy with work. Then, one day at work...I got 2 voicemails while I was at lunch. The voicemails were from Toni. I'm not sure why she was calling. I was swamped at work that day so I didn't get a chance to return her calls.

I worked late that day. It was a Friday. As much as I wanted to kick it with my boy JFresh, I was tired from work and I wasn't going out. I got home at 7:30. When I checked my caller ID box (ole skool), I noticed that Toni had called me 5 times. She didn't leave a message though! I found that to be weird. I sat down on my couch to watch tv. All of a sudden, I heard a knock at my door. That was strange. Nobody knocks at my door because nobody knew where I lived except JFresh. I lived in an a gated apartment complex. I dunno who it was. I opened the door...and it was Toni. I was shocked!

Me : Toni!?? What are you doing here?

Toni : You told me that you lived on Candler Road. I was in the area so I figured that I would stop by to see you.

Me: How did you get into the gate?

Toni : Oh...the gate was broken. I drove around and I saw your car. I saw an old man outside and he told me where you lived

Me : Yeah, that was my dude, Amos. So...why are you here???

Toni : Do you want to hang out with me tonight? Do you want to go to dinner or something?

Me : Um...

Toni : You don't wanna hang with me? Is there somebody HERE? *she starts to look around my apartment as if she was my momma*

Me : Nah. It's not that. I'm 'sposed to be hanging with JFresh. He just broke up with his girl and he's gonna need somebody to talk to. Tonight is not a good time. I'll call you later

I proceeded to PUSH Toni out of the door to my apartment. I couldn't believe that she tried to blow up my spot like that. Keep in mind that I had only known Toni for a total of 6 days and 4 hours of telephone conversations. Ten minutes later, my phone is ringing. It's Toni. I don't answer the phone. She leaves me a nasty voicemail...

"Kyle...this is Toni! I don't know what your problem is. I thought you were different but you're just like the rest of these men around here. You didn't even have enough manners to walk me out to my car! You aint shit! You're just like the rest of them! *CLICK*

Wow! Maybe I should have walked her to her car because Candler Road in Decatur, Ga is STRAIGHT hood! However, I don't know how I got to that point with her. I guess she was right...I'm like the rest of them.

Allergic 2 crazy people!

Off tha Dome...12 Radio Show

Check out the 12 RADIO SHOW. The 12 RADIO SHOW is the most innovative and interactive show on Blog Talk Radio. Tune in tonight at 9pm EST as the host, 12kyle, informs and entertains! Don't just listen to the show...be a part of the show and participate in the interactive chat room...or call in to speak with 12kyle and his co-hosts.

TOPIC - Off tha Dome 950 (random topics) co-hosted by ShellyShell. You don't want to miss this!!!


You can listen online (www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle) or via phone (347)215-7162. Press #1 if you want to speak to the host. You can also send tweets if you want to have your questions answered or comments to @12kyle

Follow the show on twitter: @12RadioShow. Also follow the host 12kyle on twitter: @12kyle

10 signs that he's into you...

*re-post*
Some women say that men aren't good at expressing themselves...

Some women say that if you watch a man closely, he'll tell you EVERYTHING that you need to know!

I think there's truth to both statements. Nevertheless, I came across this article and I decided to share it with you. Hopefully, it'll shed some light to the ladies who try to "figure us out." LOL

10 Signs that you can tell a man is serious about you...

1. He doesn't play mind games with you

If he says he will drop in to see you, he does. When he makes plans with you for the weekend, he sticks to them. He doesn't torment you by saying one thing and doing something else. He’s not cold one instant and warm and affectionate the other. If his ex-girlfriend calls him, he tells you about it for the sake of honesty and not in a way that makes you uncomfortable. When a man plays mind games, it’s typically because he doesn't really care, or because the relationship is casual for him. If your man makes a special effort to be honest and open, that’s a sign of his commitment to the relationship.

2. He wants to know things about you

And it’s not just the regular stuff like “What are your hopes and dreams?” or, “What inspires you to paint?” or “What’s your favorite r&b band?” He asks you questions about your childhood, your job, parents, etc. He wants to know what it was like to be the elder sister or, he always asks you how you cope with your long stressful work hours. He is genuinely concerned about your career and asks you about your plans. Even the best actor cannot feign an interest in mundane details such as, “What time did you wake up today?”. or “Did you get enough sleep last night?” If he’s serious about you, he will find all the mundane details interesting.

3. He calls you multiple times everyday

He calls you sometimes for no reason. Even if you've met at a coffee shop an hour ago, he calls you after he reaches home, or from the elevator. This behavior is typically displayed in the first few weeks of the relationship, when everything is new and exciting. However, when you realize that he still calls you just to hear your voice and it’s been about a year since you started going out, you should know that he’s serious about you.

4. If he’s always punctual...

If he’s always punctual, he’s definitely into you. When a man is serious about his girlfriend, he will ensure that she doesn't have to wait for an hour at the bus stop. He says he will pick you up for dinner and 8 p.m. and calls around 7.55 p.m. to tell you he’s stuck in traffic and will be 15 minutes late, he’s respectful of your feelings. He won’t ever have you hanging around the park for half an hour before he shows up. Most girls constantly find themselves waiting for their boyfriend’s phone call, or for him to pick them up. If you don’t find yourself in that position, you've got yourself a winner.

5. When he listens to you talk

Several girls complain that they can’t talk to their boyfriends and that they just don’t listen. When you spend time with him, he really listens to you. He’s all ears about your problems at work. On the train, he’s not distracted by fellow passengers, but is listening to you intently. You have long chats on the phone where he hangs on to every word you say. You find yourself telling him things that you've never told any boyfriend before. He’s not constantly checking his cell phone for messages, when you talk about the day. If your man remembers that it’s your aunt’s birthday in a couple of weeks, just because you mentioned it in passing, understand that he’s listening to every word you’re saying.

6. When he wants to date you exclusively

You’re his steady girlfriend and he makes sure everyone knows it. He is faithful and expects fidelity from you too. He has had the conversation about being exclusive with you. He makes sure everyone knows that he’s your boyfriend, not only because he doesn't want random men hitting on you, but because he wants to send a clear signal to all the girls that he’s taken. This is a big step and you should appreciate him for this.

7. He’s transparent about his routine

You know his routine and what his day holds for him, not because you’re a tyrant but because he volunteers this information. You know he’s in the gym in the morning and reaches work at 10 a.m., after making a quick dash to a coffee shop. You know that if he doesn't take your call in the afternoon, he’s probably in a meeting or in the loo. If he’s missing for a couple of hours, there’s always an explanation that’s credible. You have never wondered, “What could he possibly be doing now?” or “Why hasn't he called me?”.

8. He introduces you to his friends

He is keen that you meet his friends and not only because he wants to show off what a knockout you are, but because he’s so in love with you. He wants his friends to know you and like you. He wants you to get comfortable with them, because this paves the way for your initiation in the group. He makes an effort to be nice to your friends for the same reasons. He wants you to meet his family. This move is not to be underestimated at all. If there’s one thing common in men across continents, it’s the fact that they only take the girl home, if they’re taking the relationship to the next level.

9. He asks for your opinion and respects it

He wants you to accompany him while he shops for clothes, because he trusts your choice. When he’s confused about his career, he talks to you and listens patiently to what you have to say. He discusses things with you to seek your opinion.

10. He’s always there when you need him

He may be foul tempered and may say hurtful things from time to time, but he's always there when you need him. When your uncle passed away, he was there to hold your hand. When you lost a job, he took you out for ice cream and reassured you. He may have his faults, but if he really cares for you, he will always try to protect you. If a bitchy girlfriend keeps picking on you, he calls her bluff and shuts her up. If he genuinely worries about you because you have cramps during that time of the month, he’s definitely serious about you.

I hope this helps you ladies... ;)

Big 3 - Janet, Mariah, Whitney...12 Radio Show

Check out the 12 RADIO SHOW. The 12 RADIO SHOW is the most innovative and interactive show on Blog Talk Radio. Tune in tonight at 9pm EST as the host, 12kyle, informs and entertains! Don't just listen to the show...be a part of the show and participate in the interactive chat room...or call in to speak with 12kyle and his co-hosts.

TOPIC - Big 3 - Janet, Mariah, Whitney. 

On this week's episdoe, we will break down 3 of the biggest music acts in the 80s and 90s...Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, and Whitney Houston. 

co-hosted by eclectik

You don't want to miss this!!!

You can listen online (www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle) or via phone (347)215-7162. Press #1 if you want to speak to the host. You can also send tweets if you want to have your questions answered or comments to @12kyle

woman...

This is a picture of a photo.

The photo hangs on the wall at my mother's house in the house where I grew up in Florence, SC

It's been on the wall since I was about 5 yrs old.

After a recent trip to my hometown, I actually stopped and read it...then I really got the true meaning of it.

Every man should strive to have a woman...

Every female should strive to become a woman...

muzikmonday

The other day I was going through some old blog posts from a few years ago. I stumbled across a blog called "Muzik Monday". It was a post of videos/songs that I liked or was playing at the time. As I listened to the songs, I thought to myself..."I kinda miss this dude."

So...I decided to bring it back.

I think with the old posts I listened to a lot of hip hop so that's what I posted most of the times. Now, I'll do it randomly based on any music that I come across. I still listen to a lot of hip hop but that's not all that I listen to. The MuzikMonday songs are just some songs that stood out to me that I heard over the past few days while listening to Pandora.

Lose Myself by Marsha Ambrosius

I'm a fan of Marsha's. This song was originally done by Lauryn Hill. I'm a HUGE fan of LBoogie. Very deep song. Listen to the words. (ps...come back Lauryn. lol)





My Favorite Thing - Ron Isley (Ft. Kem)

Good to see Mr. Biggs back on the scene. Very cool song. I like it!





We Belong Together - Mariah Carey


Me and Mariah...go back like babies and pacifiers. hahahah. I've never been a big fan of Mariah's but this album was sick. I always loved this joint from her. Very melodic. Very deep and meaningful song.




All I Do - Stevie Wonder


This is a classic. I remember my when my parents had this album (Hotter Than July). They would play this all the time. This is one of my favorite songs from the album




I Ain't No Joke - Eric B. & Rakim

Hip hop will always been on my playlist. And this was my theme song when I was a young kid. LOL. You can't go wrong with the greatest MC of all time...Rakim

10 Tricky Questions Women Ask

I was doing some reading the other day and I came across this article from Men's Health

If this question is delivered over beers with your buds, you’ll gladly launch into anecdotes about home repairs, morning jogs, or workplace snafus. But if your wife or girflfriend asks? The question is suddenly fraught with implications and innuendos—whether she’s trying to send a message or not.

“In relationships, we bid for emotional connection by asking questions that range from mundane to soul-searching,” says Don Cole, a licensed marriage and family therapist at the Gottman Institute in Houston. But we were socialized to communicate differently: Women make emotional connections with their girlfriends (How do you feel about it?) much different than men do with their pals (Did you see that motorcycle?). When her question strikes a nerve, it’s often because you’re perceiving a disconnect in what she really wants to say—and that can come from both sides, says Cole.

But why can her questions rile you up so easily? Your instinct to blow a gasket or storm off is biological: “Men’s bodies are hardwired to be hyper-reactive to stress and danger, but modern danger is no longer a ferocious tiger—it’s the pissed-off wife or girlfriend,” says Jamie Turndorf, Ph.D., author of Kiss Your Fights Goodbye. When she comes at you with touchy topics, your body sees danger, which involuntarily triggers your fight-or-flight response, she explains. To sail smoothly through any line of questioning, be ready with these smart responses.

1) “Do you love me?”

The reason it freaks you out: When a woman asks validation-seeking questions, it’s her biological programming hungering for reassurance that her man loves her enough to stick around for the long haul, says Turndorf. While this may seem tiresome to you—your feelings haven’t changed in the week since she asked last—it’s her way of checking on the security of your relationship.

The best response: “You’re the most generous, giving person I’ve ever met, and that makes me love you more and more every day.” Instead of complimenting her looks—which will make her nervous your feelings will change when things start to drop—focus on affirming why you love the parts that won’t change: She’s a wonderful mother, has the best sense of humor, and makes one mean pot of chili.

2) “Isn’t that the most beautiful diamond bracelet?”

The reason it freaks you out: You think she’s gunning for a—very expensive—reward. If your finances are tight, this question can threaten your ability to provide. For her, it’s not about the actual bracelet, Turndorf says: Gifts can represent your love and commitment to some women.

The best response: “That bracelet would look beautiful on you. Maybe one day when we have the cash, we’ll buy it for you.” Responding in a way that embraces her emotional needs allows you to both feel satisfied, even when you’re not on the same timeline, she says.

3) “Can you talk to our daughter about her C in math?”

The reason it freaks you out: There’s an implication that you wouldn’t think to do this yourself, which threatens your standing as a parent, says Cole. People are also very sensitive to tone of voice, and if we hear a negative intonation—as this question is often delivered from a frustrated parent—we’re likely to get defensive, he adds.

The best response: “Let’s talk about how we should handle this.” Parenting is a team sport, so instead of feeling like you’re fighting for first place, remind her you’re one unit. Plus, the more negative your relationship, the more likely you are to hear questions like this as criticism, says Cole. That means strengthening your standing as a team can encourage you to hear these requests as her tagging you in instead of pushing you in.

4) “When are we going to start having kids?”

The reason it freaks you out: Women are often ready to commit before men are, and try to unconsciously coax guys into a commitment with questions, says Turndorf.

The best response: “There’s no other woman I would ever want to have children with, but I want a little more time to enjoy just you.” Leading your response with a clear indication of your love, and saying “not now”—with an endearing reason—instead of a flat-out “no” can help keep you honest without slamming her with an emotional hammer, she advises.

5) “What are you thinking?”

The reason it freaks you out: Women often speak to men the way they want to be spoken to, and women are more comfortable with open-ended emotional questions, says Turndorf.

The best answer: “You mean about [insert topic]?” Help guide questions into versions you’re more comfortable answering by re-framing her query into a concrete topic, she suggests. This will also help narrow in on specific subjects that are on her mind, and help her feel at ease to talk without dancing around the subject.

6) “Why haven’t you taken care of this yet?”

The reason it freaks you out: Every relationship has perpetual differences—things that are in your personality and will probably never change, says Cole. Most of our fights are about these unsolvable problems, and because you’ve had this argument so many times before, the subject sends you into defensive mode quicker.

The best response: “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now. Can we take 30 minutes and then talk about this again?” When that primitive fight-or-flight kicks in, men become flooded with overwhelming emotion faster than women, causing them to shell up, says Cole. Most of the time, women don’t realize this and think you walking out of the room or clamming up means you don’t care. Tell her you need time to cool off or think things through, but you aren’t avoiding the issue.

7) “Do you like my new dress?”

The reason it freaks you out: There’s an implication in this question that you don’t compliment her enough, says Cole. Unfortunately, a lot of times this is true, he adds.

The best response: “The color brings out your eyes, and it hugs you in all the right places.” Remedy the oversight by giving her more than the expected response. And next time, tell her you love how she looks in the dress as soon as you head out for the evening, advises Cole. Even if you have no idea if the garment is new, she’s just asking you to take notice. One characteristic of successful couples is they regularly say more positive things to one another, which cancels the need for her to ask any validation-seeking questions, he adds.

8) “How are you feeling about us?”

The reason it freaks you out: This question feels like a test that you didn’t study for. What she’s really saying is, “I have something I want to talk about.”

The best response: “What’s on your mind?” The kicker with this question is, it would catch her off-guard if you asked it, says Cole. Most people don’t have this answer ready unless they’ve been thinking about it, so skip ahead and open the floor for her to air any concerns. Ask her how she’s feeling, but say it genuinely so she doesn’t feel like you’re avoiding expressing your feelings, says Cole.

9) “Do you think we should trade in the car for a new one?”

The reason it freaks you out: Guys have a hard time accepting influence from women, says Cole. It’s not that they think their wife’s opinion is less informed; they just instinctively feel if there was a problem, they would’ve noticed.

The best way to respond: “Why do you say that?” It’s easy to brush aside topics you don’t think need attention, but over time, she’ll feel undervalued, he says. The three smartest words men can say in a relationship: “That makes sense.” You don’t have to tell her she’s right, but making her feel heard will save you many fights down the road, he advises.

10) “Would you be mad if I went out with my girlfriends on Friday?”

The reason it freaks you out: She might be delivering a veiled accusation that you wouldn’t be okay with what she has now made to sound like a perfectly reasonable request, says Cole.

The best response: “Of course not, but it’d be easier to agree if you asked in a more positive way.” Your choices with this question are to let it slide—which encourages her to phrase things this way in the future—or to fix the problem and suffer a little tuft. And the fight is worth it: Learning how to ask for what we need has to be in our set of communication skills, says Cole. She thinks she’s easing into the question by phrasing it this way, but she’s actually making the assumption you’re going to be unreasonable, and that’s not productive for either of you, he adds.

Off tha Dome 900...12 RADIO SHOW

Check out the 12 RADIO SHOW. The 12 RADIO SHOW is the most innovative and interactive show on Blog Talk Radio. Tune in tonight at 9pm EST as the host, 12kyle, informs and entertains! Don't just listen to the show...be a part of the show and participate in the interactive chat room...or call in to speak with 12kyle and his co-hosts.

TOPIC - Off tha Dome 900 cohosted by Mindful Naked. 

Join us as we cover random and thought provoking topics ranging from current events, pop culture, dating, relationships, sports, sex, & music.

You can listen online (www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle) or via phone (347)215-7162. Press #1 if you want to speak to the host.

Follow the show on twitter: @12RadioShow. Also follow the host 12kyle on twitter: @12kyle

Check out Dead End Sports tonight at 9pm est

If you've been under a rock for the past few months (lol), then you may not know that I host the Dead End Sports Show every Tuesday night at 9pm est. 

Check out Dead End Sports! This is the place where sports opinions collide. Dead End Sports is a weekly talk show covering college football, the NFL, college basketball, the NBA, baseball and more. We rarely agree.

On this week's episode we'll discuss the NCAA Tournament, the NBA, NFL Free Agency, sports and hip hop artists and much more.

Check out our website deadendsports.com . Follow the show on twitter: @deadendsports as well as the Dead End Sports crew...Feefo - @feefo247 , Beezy - @beezy430 , Ken - @kbinge , & 12kyle - @12kyle

You can listen online (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/deadendsports/2014/03/12/dead-end-sports) or via phone (646)478-0356. Press #1 if you want to speak to the host. You can also send tweets if you want to have your questions answered or comments to @deadendsports

8 Reasons You Should Turn Down That Job Offer

here's a very interesting article that I found at salary.com

Just Because You Got the Offer Doesn't Mean You Should Accept It

The good news is you got the job. Which, in this still-reeling economy, is quite an accomplishment. But the bad news is you're worried you might be settling for a position that isn't the right fit for you. So where do you go from here?

Look, the honest truth is there are times when you'll have to take any job you can get, even if you know it's a bad fit. Maybe your house is about to be foreclosed on, you can't make rent, or you have a family depending on you for income. We completely understand there will be times when finding ANY job is a priority over the PERFECT job.

But then there's the flip side of that coin, which is taking a job just for the sake of having a job even if you have the luxury of holding out for something better. Maybe you're frustrated because your job search has taken far longer than expected, or you graduated college and you're the last of your friends to find steady employment. Those situations aren't ideal, but neither is taking a "filler" job that won't really benefit your career.

To help guide you, here are some very valid reasons to reject a job offer.

8. When It's a Dead-End, Not a Detour

Sometimes we travel a broken career road, but that's not all bad. Many success stories include colorful chapters where the hero bravely works his way up to corporate glory. But what about the sad dramas where the heroine ends up pausing her career indefinitely in a so-so job that moves her off-target and out-of-sight of her hopes and dreams?

Consider: Will the circuitous route still allow some sort of progress in your chosen direction? Or will the filler job effectively block the path to your desired destination? The best filler job will still allow you to grow skills and experiences that are resume-worthy, and easily applied at your next position. The worst ones can spiral you into a black hole from which you gain no additional skills or experience, essentially trapping you with no hope of escape.

7. When It Costs You Opportunities

Most jobs are found through networking. A job organizing office supplies in a backroom or basement will offer you few opportunities to rub elbows with anyone save the occasional lost soul seeking a restroom. On the other hand, a retail job selling business apparel might give you the inside scoop on unposted job listings. Remember, the clear majority of today’s employment opportunities are unadvertised.

Consider: If volunteer work or community service puts you in touch with a growing number of business contacts, it might be worth fueling that momentum rather than cutting yourself off with a short-term, bill-paying position. Obviously, if you’re in debt and behind on your bills, you may not have the luxury of timing. However, be certain that wherever you spend your 9 to 5, you remain in the vicinity of connections to your chosen career goals.

6. When It Hurts Your Professional Reputation

On the other hand, while assembling sandwiches in a company cafeteria will likely put you in contact with key decision-makers (even CEOs have to eat lunch), do you want to be remembered for a cheddar cheese mishap when you finally land that interview?

Consider: It’s one thing to wait tables as a new college graduate in search of that elusive first job. However, a displaced IT manager refilling iced teas is doing nothing to enhance that image of technical prowess. There is nothing wrong with honest labor. But aim for labor that won’t contradict your status and reputation as a professional. To wit, waiting tables would be consistent with a hospitality manager looking for her next gig. Web design work might be a better fit for the on-hold IT manager. 

5. When It's Soul-Crushing

How tough is your spirit? Can you retain essential hope and focus while working in the potential filler job? Some people own the sort of resilience that will not be trampled by janitorial duties or irate customers at a fast food establishment. Others have a tendency to link identity to work and their self-worth will deflate like a leaky balloon.

Consider: Know thyself. The purpose of a temporary job is to equip you -- financially and possibly experientially -- for the real deal. If a filler job is likely to grind down your self-image, perhaps you need to look a little longer. Find employment that will pay your bills without costing you your confidence and breaking your spirit.

4. When It Goes Against Your Morals & Values

The nature of your temporary work shouldn't make you feel like you're compromising who you are or your beliefs. Obviously you should avoid anything illegal, but beyond that black and white is a lot of grey. For instance, a vegetarian meat-packer, an environmentalist working for big oil, or a personal privacy advocate making telemarketing calls. These are scenarios that will pit self against self.

Consider: You will be ineffective and personally miserable in any position that requires you to ignore core values. Selling something that is personally disagreeable is a blow to your integrity. How will you sell the professionalism of someone willing to turn a blind eye to his own convictions?

3. When It Costs You Your Family

A great paycheck that takes you out-of-town -- or out of family life by nature of the sheer number of hours required -- may be a risk to your family connections. Yes, getting behind on your mortgage payment could strain family loyalties as well, but be sure you and your spouse (or significant other) are on the same page regarding expectations.

Consider: How "temporary" will temporary be? Are there other options that might provide a better balance to the financial vs. family stability equation? An indefinitely timed strain on familial relationships (and connections to your support system) should be approached with caution. Do you work to live or live to work? Just remember, no one on a deathbed ever wished they spent more time at work.

2. When the Money Isn't Good Enough

Sometimes, it really is all about the money.

Most of us work to live. We have mortgages, rent, utilities, car payments, daycare and more to pay for, and we're working to foot the bills. So if you're presented with a job that doesn't even come close to making all the ends meet, it might be worth holding out for something more lucrative if that's feasible.

Consider: Be clear about pay structures and costs of employment -- especially for commission-based work -- before grabbing a temporary position. The word "temporary" can ascribe less value to the details tied to these jobs. These details should matter, however, because you are making a trade of your job search time. Be sure it’s a worthwhile exchange.

1. When the Money Is TOO Good

Whoosh. That’s the soul-sucking sound of a lucrative paycheck pulling talent from a long-term goal. It happens. The pay is so good you stay on a little longer. And a little longer after that. Next thing you know you're completely hooked on your fat paycheck, 10 years have gone by, and you’ve forgotten you used to have other dreams.

Consider: If you’re a "work to live" personality with a goal of retirement, this may not be a deal-breaker. But if your goals are for professional achievement, be wary of temporary jobs that could lull you into career complacency. "Umm, I got busy and forgot" isn’t going to sit well with a bored, stagnated version of yourself, wondering about the untapped potential of your youth.

Keep Your Eyes on the Prize

"Any" job is often better than no job, but not necessarily. Measure "filler" jobs against your overall career plan. Be wary of any side gig that holds the power to hamstring you into a permanent sideline position.

Our career paths are rarely straight lines. Sometimes the route to a coveted sales position goes through the mailroom. And there are times that outside pressures and financial considerations force us to pause professional progress completely. These challenges are surmountable and may even provide valuable perspective, as long as hitting the pause button doesn't cause our motivation to idle as well.

Know What You're Worth

Regardless of whether or not you actually accept the job you're offered, the important thing is that you're prepared to negotiate salary if you do want it. The first thing you should do is research, so you're able to come to the table armed with the knowledge of what your job is worth. 

3 principles

There are three principles of business that I think are key to ANY successful business

1. Treat people with dignity and respect.

This goes a long way. It doesn't matter if you are dealing with the Vice President of your company or the kid in the mail room. Treat people well. They will always remember it and appreciate it.

2. Never be too "big" to do something.

Far too often...people will say "I'm not doing that. It's not in my job description. Let somebody else to it." If I'm the CEO and I see that the trash needs to be taken out of the building, then I'll do it. People respect you even more when they see you go the extra mile.

3. Make work fun

Nobody works for free. Most people spend 8 hrs a day at work. Help people ENJOY their time at work. You've gotta be there...so you might as well have fun while you're there.

I've worked in corporate America for 15 yrs. I've learned a lot and seen a lot, too. One day...sooner than later...I'll transition to run my own company.

I'll be taking these principles with me.

The Big 3 in R&B (Tony Toni Tone, Guy, New Edition)...12 Radio Show

Check out the 12 RADIO SHOW. The 12 RADIO SHOW is the most innovative and interactive show on Blog Talk Radio. Tune in tonight at 9pm EST as the host, 12kyle, informs and entertains! Don't just listen to the show...be a part of the show and participate in the interactive chat room...or call in to speak with 12kyle and his co-hosts.

TOPIC - The Big 3 in R&B (Tony Toni Tone, Guy, & New Edition).

Join me, Rashan Jamal, & eclectik as we discuss these groups and how they effected the 80s & 90s.

You can listen online (www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle) or via phone (347)215-7162. Press #1 if you want to speak to the host. You can also send tweets if you want to have your questions answered or comments to @12kyle

Follow the show on twitter: @12RadioShow. Also follow the host 12kyle on twitter: @12kyle