because of the internet...

"Hey Dad, what did you do when you were a kid? You didn't have the Internet." - Brandon (age 11)

I love my kids.

They make me laugh.

Much like their father, they are all very inquisitive.

I couldn't help but chuckle when he asked me this question. I chuckled because all that he knows is the internet. He won't ever live in a world without the "information highway." I did. And it was fun. I immediately thought of the stories that he will tell his kids about their grandfather many years from now.

After I stopped laughing, I told him that we managed to have a bunch of fun without the internet or computers. I told him that I spent a lot of time outside. His eyes lit up! Much like me, he likes being outside. Back then...EVERYTHING happened outside. You were considered lame if you stayed in the house in the 80s. LOL

I also told him that because we were no cellphones for us to be glued to...we actually had to talk to the people who were in the room with us. There were no handheld electronics to occupy our time on the 10 hour drive from South Carolina to New Jersey every summer. But we spent our time learning about the cities on I-95. Since there was no GPS, I learned how to read a map. That was fun.

Things were simple then. For example, I loved talking on the phone. If my mom told me that I couldn't talk on the phone for a week, I'd be devastated. I spent hours talking on the phone to my homboys and my girlfriends. It didn't matter. It could be a conversation until 4am or falling asleep on the phone...only to be awakened by my mom yelling at me to get off the phone.

While it may be hard for them to fathom, I actually enjoyed life without the internet. While I enjoy the technology, I'll be the first to admit that it's changed the game. It's made us less humanistic and more robotic

And in many ways...less fun.

a letter to my kids...

I have often said that one of the great things about having this blog is that people can read it and get to know how you feel about things. I think one of the reasons why I've kept the blog and haven't deleted it is that I want my kids to read it and gain a different perspective as how their father saw the world through his eyes. Honestly, they know this blog exists but I don't think they've read much of it. But that's cool. One day they will.

Tomorrow is Father's Day. It's a special day for me because it's a day that I celebrate because of THEM. My children. Instead of writing a post about something random or silly, I decided to write this open letter to them...

Deion (age 15)


My first born! You were the first to make me a father. I still remember the day that you came into this world. It seems like it was yesterday. I remember standing in the delivery room and looking at you with amazement. You had only been on this earth for a few minutes before you urinated on the doctor who was trying to weigh you. The doctor smiled at us and said "Well...we know that part works." You and I are alike in a lot of ways. I have told you since you were a baby to always be a leader...not a follower. You are a great leader and I truly feel that you were put on this earth to be a leader. Am I hard on you? Yes! But it's only because I want you to see the greatness that is within you. The sky is the limit for you. As you move forward in life, you'll realize the lessons that I'm teaching will take you far in life. You're father is pretty smart...but you already know that by now. I am proud of the young man that you have become. I love you!


Kameron (12)


You are...by far...the most talented child. And that's no knock on your siblings...because everybody has multiple talents. You just have more. Anybody that has ever been around you will tell you that. I've found over time that you can be extremely shy around unfamiliar faces and the life of the party around friends and family. I am like that, too. It's not always easy being someone's little brother and someone's big brother...but you've done it well. Your mother and I realized a long time ago that when Kameron wants to do something, he's going to do it on his terms. That's what makes you who you are. Keep being who you are and keep shining! I am proud of the young man that you have become. I love you!

Brandon (8)


You are the star of our family! There's no doubt about it. I've never seen a kid this young be so cool! I WISH that I was as cool as you were when I was your age. I was cool but not like you. I've never seen a child so competitive and driven to be the best and win at everything! It's a rare gift. You and I look alike and our birthdays are only separated by a day. And maybe that's the way it was supposed to be. I can't imagine how it feels being the baby boy...but you are no baby. You don't walk in your brothers shadows. You've created your own trail and I like that. Most kids are fearful when it comes to performing in front of an audience. You...you seem to relish in that spotlight. Sometimes I look at you and think to myself..."Is that really MY kid?" Of course you are! And I wouldn't have it any other way! I am proud of the young man that you have become. I love you!


Skyler (3)


Where do I start? I never envisioned having a daughter. Even when I was a kid, I knew one day I'd get married and have a son. I never thought about having a daughter. Words can't describe how I feel about you. You and I have a very special bond. My friends told me that a little girl would make melt like ice cream. And I've been melting ever since the day that you got here. Our relationship grows each day. To say that I have spoiled you is an understatement. You've learned how to use those big brown puppy dog eyes to get what you want from me. As much as I want to say no...I can't. Sometimes I look at you and I don't want you to get older. Getting older means that one day you will...want to wear make up, want to wear something that I might not like...like boys and want boys to like you back...be approached to do something that you know isn't right. It'll be those moments when you'll hear a voice in your head say..."I can't do that. My Daddy would KILL ME!!!" Simply put, you are a "Daddy's girl" and that will never change! I am proud of the little lady that you have become. I love you!

I know I can be difficult at times. Sometimes I'm James Evans...then I'm Cliff Huxtable. But I'm preparing you for this world that you'll have to live in. Being a father to the 4 of you is something that I take very seriously. It's the most rewarding job that I will ever have. It's a job that I can't afford to fail at...and I won't. Your grandparents have set a high standard for me to follow in becoming what I think a parent should be. If I can become half the parent that they are...I'll be fine.

Right after Deion was born, your grandfather gave me words that I will always remember.

There are 3 things that you must give your child...LOVE, DISCIPLINE, and an EXAMPLE to follow. I will continue to do that until they throw dirt on me. I thank God for loaning you to me!

I love you,

Dad

hang em up

For the past 6 years, I have been a Little League football coach.

I have coached my son, Kameron, and his football team.

This fall...you won't find me on the sidelines.

I have officially "retired" from coaching. My retirement wasn't my choice. Well...it was...but it wasn't. Kameron, who has developed into a pretty good football player, decided this past April to try out for his middle school football team. When he told me of his plans, I asked him if he was sure that was what he wanted to do. I know the level of competition for middle school was pretty high. After visiting his first "tryout", I told Kameron that I didn't know if he was gonna make it.

I told him..."Based on what I see...I don't think you're gonna make it. I'm not trying to discourage you. I believe in you and your talents. But I have to tell you what I see as a person who evaluates talent...not as a father." He knows that I will never sugarcoat anything. I'm honest and always will be.

After tryouts were over, Kameron came home one day and said..."I guess you'll be retiring Dad because I made the team." I was shocked. I didn't think he could do it...but he did! Kameron (12) is very confident...much like his father. I'm not sure if my words pushed him. That wasn't my intent. Nevertheless, he made it.

Not long after Kameron made his middle school team, my youngest son, Brandon, said that he was "retiring" from football. He's only 7 but he's been playing since he was 4. He said he wanted to play basketball and baseball. I asked him if he was sure and he said yes. One thing I know about sports is that you don't "push" or "pressure" a kid into playing a sport. Sports require commitment and dedication. If a kid isn't committed or dedicated, you're wasting your time.

As for me, I loved coaching. I love football. It's my first love. I will miss being around the kids. Most of the kids on our team I've coached for 5 or 6 years. I've watched them grow. We've won a lot of games as well as championships together. I'll miss my fellow coaches. We've developed an unbreakable bond. It's funny to me that I had this much fun coaching when I was very reluctant to coach in the beginning. But this is the end of the road. Now I get to be one of the parents in the stands yelling at the coaches! LOL. I'm hanging up my whistle.

Unless Skyler asks me to coach her team when she gets older...

last day of school

(Deion, Kameron, Brandon & Skyler (photobombed it at the bottom)

Where did the school year go?

It feels like the school year just started a few weeks ago.

Today is the last day of the school year!!!

It was an interesting year in my house. The kids were all in their milestone grades. Brandon (7) has completed the 1st grade. He was on the Honor Roll and was named Student of the Month for the month of April for his school. Kameron (11) has completed the 6th grade. It was his first year of middle school. He made the Honor Roll for most of the year and balanced playing football last fall. Honestly, I didn't know how he'd handle the workload from his classes and practice but he got it done. Deion (14) completed his freshman year in high school. While he didn't make the Honor Roll, he adjusted to high school quicker than I thought he would. I need to re-direct his focus from girls to working harder in the classroom. He will do better next year!

The last day of school brings back many memories for me. But things are so different for these kids. We would leave school for the summer and you wouldn't see most of your friends until school started again. Nowadays with technology, these kids will keep in touch with their friends on a daily basis.

Remember when you went to camp for the summer back in the days??? You did that for a week or two and it was dope. My kids will go to summer camp every day this summer. It's fun for them but it doesn't sound like as much fun as we had.

Then...we always explored that sacred place back in our day...it was called OUTSIDE. There was nothing like being outside for HOURS at a time. Sometimes I'll send my kids outside to play in the yard only for them to come back inside 15 mins later for water or a popsicle.

There was always a big FIGHT at school on the last day of school. You could fight and get away with it because you probably wasn't going to get suspended...unless you got caught. The fight always started with somebody saying something like "I don't like _____. I've been wanting to beat her up all year. Tell her that I'm gonna get her on the last day of school." Somebody would relay the message and it'd go from there. There was always somebody trying to be Don King and they'd hype the fight up. I remember 2 girls who fought on the last day of 8th grade. I told myself that I had to see that fight because they were fighting over a boy. Well, they fought after school on the last day. Fists and hair was flying. Next thing that I know...a bra comes off and we get a glimpse of one girl's breasts!!! She was one of the finest girls in the school. And when I saw her breasts, I felt like I had just witnessed one of the best things ever!!!

Thankfully, there will be no fights at their schools tomorrow. And that's a good thing!

SnowJam 2014

The images on TV looked like a scene in the movies, Walking Dead or The Day After Tomorrow.

Thousands of people stranded in traffic for hours trying to make it home. Thousands of them would leave their cars on along the highway and WALK home in 20 degree weather.

Over 1000 of students were stranded at SCHOOL. Their buses could not pick them up from school nor could their parents.

The culprit???

Two and a half inches of snow

This was the scene in Atlanta on Tuesday.

WHAT HAPPENED???

A snow storm that swept through the deep south dumped snow on the ATL. I knew it was coming. Apparently, the government officials and the mayor of Atlanta, Karim Reed, didn't know it. We had been warned that we would be getting snow as early as last week. At one point last weekend, the prediction was that the snow would come to the areas far south of the city of Atlanta. Cities like Macon and Columbus would be hit with 4 inches of snow. The path of the snow storm changed on Monday and we were notified that metro Atlanta would get 1-2 inches. I learned this on MONDAY. I guess the governor, Nathan Deal, missed the memo, too. On Tuesday morning, schools were open. So were businesses and the government. I checked my weather app on my phone. It clearly said that the snow would start at 11am. I was cool because I was already at home. The kids were at school. My wife was already at work downtown. I looked out my window at 10 am. No snow. Did it at 11 am. No sign of snow. At noon I decided to step out of the crib. I walked outside and I see that the snow is coming down in buckets. Minutes later, I get a call from my son Kameron. He's at his middle school and he wants me to pick him up. I told him that I'd be there in 10 mins. I found it strange that the school was releasing kids. On my way to pick him up, I get an email from our school district office notifying parents that they can pick up their kids because they will be letting them out early. I thought to myself "did these fool NOT know that it was going to snow?"

Deion and Brandon caught the school bus home and everybody is home by 3 pm including my wife who left work at noon. I scoop up Skyler and everybody is safe at the crib. At this time, I'm still perplexed as to why people are having to scramble to get home. I looked outside and I knew that at some point the roads were going to get bad. It was rush hour. The temperature was about 25. The snow that had fallen was going to turn to ice on the roads that had not been treated. As it turns out, many of the major highways and interstates weren't.

I watched the news just like the rest of the world and saw the damage caused by this storm. Two inches of snow turned to ice and crippled the NINTH LARGEST CITY in the United States. People were stuck on the highways for 10 plus hours. No help. Can you imagine being in your car for 12 hours with no food or water? Can you imagine being stranded with nobody to help you? We're not talking about a Third World country. This is Atlanta, Ga! Can you imagine being told "we can't bring your child home and we'll take care of them at the school." Ohhh helllllllll no! I'd ride a bike to go pick up my kids if I had to.

Through the struggle, there were people who stepped up. I am always encouraged at what we can be as a society in the moments of tragedy. People don't tend to see colors or social status. From the guy who helped deliver a baby on the side of I-285 to people like my former teammate, Palmer. He brought snacks to a school bus that was stranded in his neighborhood then allowed them to spend the night in his home instead of on a cold bus. That's what you call "stepping up to the plate." You have to be thankful for people like that who were a blessing to others.

THE FALLOUT

The governor, government officials, the mayor, and the metro school districts failed...miserably. They failed everybody in this city. They weren't prepared. Piss poor planning. You can't be open for business then try to send everybody home at 1:30. By then, you've got snow on the ground and it's a mad dash. The governor and the mayor made matters worse when they got on tv and tried to DEFEND the fact that they messed up. The mayor blamed the governor. The governor blamed the National Weather Service. C'mon son. Don't piss on us then tell us that it's raining. It was a bad PR move. They were trying to make Atlanta not look bad. Too late fellas. There are 6 million people in metro Atlanta but we can't get it right. They both talked about how it wasn't as bad as the ice storm in 2011. I think it was worse. We didn't have people stuck in cars and kids stuck in schools back then. Nevertheless, you can't point fingers. Step up and say..."Hey, I messed up." The mayor believes that Atlanta can host a Super Bowl once the new football stadium is built. Huh? This year's Super Bowl is on Sunday. Can you imagine how it would have been if the Super Bowl was HERE and this happened?


Over the past few days, I've seen alot of people being critical of Atlanta for "not being able to handle 2 inches of snow". In defense of Atlanta, this is not New York, Boston, Philly or Chicago. There are NO snow plows in this city. They treat the roads with salt and sand. That's it. Secondly, the roads turned to ice. I don't care who you are or where you're from...you can't drive on ice. I can drive in the snow. As many of you know, I worked in Minneapolis four years ago. I would work there during the week and fly home to Atlanta on the weekends. I had never driven in snow until I got there. I learned quickly. You could have 18 inches of snow on the ground in Minneapolis and the streets would be clear. Schools and businesses were open. Not only does the city have snow plows but you have tens of thousands of citizens who have snow removal equipment. We don't have that here. So...I will defend Atlanta in that aspect. You can't remove snow if you have nothing to remove it with. And there's no need to put millions of dollars into equipment that you may use every 4 or 5 yrs. But I won't defend Governor Deal or Mayor Reed. They dropped the ball at the 5 yard line. I think the "northerners" who find humor in southerners not being able to "handle snow" should take a moment and think...how would you feel if you or someone you loved was stranded and you couldn't get to them.


Memo to Deal and Reed...today is January 31st. We've probably got another 3 weeks of "winter" left. What are you gonna do the next time that there is a possibility of snow???

Happy Birthday, Brandon

Seven years ago today I became a father for the first time.

My third son, Brandon, was born.

Brandon is a star! If you ever met him, you'd agree.

Happy Birthday, Brandon! Daddy loves you!

english 101

Thanks Mrs. Harris and Mrs. Townsend

Both women taught me English when I was in 4th grade and 9th grade, respectively

Mrs. Harris was my all time favorite teacher. 

These two women came to mind as I thought about what to write on this blog. They both had a huge impact on my education. I'm not sure if they knew it or not. Mrs. Townsend would often say..."English is a beautiful but extremely complex language. Don't mess it up." Those words always stuck with me. 

I was reviewing Brandon's homework a few days ago and I was looking at some words that he was using in his sentences. He was using the words...THEIR and THERE ; YOUR and YOU'RE. Surprisingly, he was using them correctly. He's in the first grade. I was baffled at how he knows which words to use at the age of 6 when there are people much older than him who can't do the same thing.

There is not a day that goes by when I get on Facebook or Twitter and see people using words incorrectly. These 4 words are often misused. It's understandable when people are using slang. I get it. More often than not, this isn't the case. Sometimes I read Facebook posts and I wonder aloud if some of these people even WENT to an English class. I'm not saying that you should proof read your posts or tweets. Can a word be misspelled from time to time? Sure! I'm sure I've misspelled more than a few words on this blog because I normally write late at night before I go to bed. But when it's clear that you don't know the difference between THEIR and THERE...then that's a problem. 

I remember Mrs. Harris used to always fuss at us about writing our names in cursive. I hated to write in cursive then and I still do now. But she explained to us that it was important to write your name neatly because it was your signature. She said you'd be using your signature for the rest of your life. If we turned in a paper and our signature was sloppy, then she'd make us write it over again. Little did we know then that she was teaching us to have pride in our names. I don't even know if schools teach kids how to write in cursive anymore. My cursive writing was terrible back then and is still terrible to this day. But my signature isn't. I remember asking her if I could put a star above the "I" in my last name instead of a dot. She asked me why did I want to do that. I told her that I wanted it to look different from any other signature. She said it was fine and I've been doing it since that day. It's funny how these things stick with you.

Sometimes I get frustrated when I read my sons' writings. None of them write like me. They all write well for their age. But not like me. Then, I remind myself that they aren't me. They don't have Mrs. Harris nor Mrs. Townsend. I try my best to show them what I learned. Being able to write well starts with being able to speak well. You have to know which words to use. You also have to read extensively and retain what you read. I've always done that. I'm not saying that you can't use slang because I use it every day. But if that's all that you know then that's all that you'll use. No matter the profession that you are in, it will involve writing and you have to be able to effectively communicate what you want people to know. When you write something...much like with this blog...you are taking people on a journey. It's your job as a writer to get them from the beginning to the end their destination. 

Mrs. Townsend was correct. English is beautiful and complex. Learn it. Master it. Don't mess it up. 

football is back

And so it begins..

Today at 6:30 pm EST...we're back at it!

We officially start our football season! I'm looking forward to it. I'll be back on the sidelines coaching my son, Kameron. This year we'll be playing in the 10 and under division.

Last year, we finished with 9 wins and 2 losses. We made it to the championship game only to lose to a team that we had beaten earlier in the season. I look forward to the challenges that come with coaching. I'll be the first to admit that I wasn't interested in coaching when I first started. I was a player. I put everything into playing every game like it was my last. I had a passion for the game. My first love.

How do you coach someone to do THAT?

You can't. You accept the kids for who they are. While it has been a pleasure coaching Kameron...and now watching his younger brother, Brandon (he plays for the 6 and under team)...I know that no kid can be the player that you were. You can only hope that they develop skills and a love for the game. The rest will take care of itself.

As a team we have some unfinished business to take care of. It hurt to get to the championship game and lose. The tough thing about sports is that you can't just pick up where the previous season ended. It doesn't work that way. The hard work, blood, sweat, and tears start all over again.

So how do you bounce back and get back to the championship game and win it all??

Check back with me in November and I'll tell you how we did it!

brandonwannaknow...

Kids are funny.

One thing that I know about kids...they speak their minds.

The other night at the dinner table Brandon posed a question. He's 5 years old and very inquisitive. He said...

"What does Valentine's Day mean?"


I paused. Surely, he didn't want ME to answer that question! Noooo, not Daddy. Lol. My wife answered him by giving him the most political answer that you could give a kid. "It's a holiday of love" she said.

I smirked

Brandon walked away. Did he really want to ask me THAT question? Why would he ask a dude who broke up with a girl TWO days before Valentines Day...only to go back with her 3 days late? Nah..wrong dude

Honestly, Valentines Day was cool when I was 5...8...11, etc. When I was a kid, we would get VDay candy and pass it out to our classmates. Male and females. I would find the candy that had "KISS ME" written on it and give it to the girls that I liked. I damn sure wasn't gonna give it to Sean. Back then VDay was cool and innocent. That's part of what love should be...cool and innocent. Nowadays, it's commercial. It's about THIS or about THAT. Or about how much you spent on something. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for showing my gratitude and appreciation. But I don't think it has to be on THAT day. I have a new Valentine this year. My daughter, Skyler, is 4 months old. What will I tell her about Valentines Day when she gets older?

"Love should be given and shown 365 days a year. If its not, then it ain't love."