graduation 2017

It's official...

I am the parent of a high school graduate.

Damn...I feel old. (lol)

My oldest child, Deion, graduated from high school on May 26th. I'd like to thank everybody who commented on my social media pages with well wishes for him. I really do appreciate it.

I would also like to thank all of my family who came to celebrate with us. We had a lot of family that came from out of town to honor Deion. I'm very thankful for that. I was glad my parents and my in-laws, my brother and his family, my cousins as well as all of our family and friends could make it. It was a joyous occasion.

A week before graduation, I told Deion that I wanted him to "savor the moment" of graduation. I wanted him to enjoy it all. I reminded him that you only graduate from high school once...so live it up. I told him about the day that I graduated from high school. It was June 7, 1991. It was a great day. Graduation was cool. But I really didn't cherish it like I should have. I was ready to rush off to college. I appreciate it much more now. But if I could re-live that day, I'd savor everything and cherish some of the people who took that journey with me. I didn't want him to have the same regret that I had.

Deion had a lot to be proud of. Not only did he graduate from one of the best high schools in the county and metro Atlanta, but they accomplished a great deal. They graduated 99% of their senior class, 98% of the students would be headed to college, and they had been awarded over 15 million dollars in college scholarships. Honestly, that doesn't happen at most high schools...nor does it happen at an all black high school (which his was)...but it did. As a class, they have a great deal to be proud of.

I would be remiss if I didn't thank the village that helped my wife and I with Deion. Especially the grandparents. My in-laws, who live 5 minutes from our house, have always been incredible and helpful. I don't know where we would be without them. My parents live in South Carolina but they did a lot for us as well. I remember when Deion was in the 11th grade my mom made a 4 hr drive on a Sunday from South Carolina to our house...just to help Deion study for a test. I had no idea that she was coming. She just popped up at my house. I was shocked. She stayed for 2 hours...then drove back to South Carolina. I wanted her to stay but she said she had to go. While I thought it was crazy to come that far, it spoke volumes about how much she loves him. Deion is the first grandchild on both sides.

I am extremely proud of the kid. I think the some of the fussing that I did over the past 4 years have paid off. LOL.


Here are a few of the thousand pictures that were taken over the weekend...


The graduation was held at the Georgia World Congress Center

Deion with his brothers and his cousins. When I looked at this picture, I realized that we'll be going to high school graduations for the next 10 years. LOL. Deion is the oldest of his siblings and cousins. But it seems like there was a child born on both sides of his family every year after him.

Deion with my niece Taylor.

Party at the crib...we had a graduation party for Deion on Saturday (May 27th). We had about 70 friends and family attend the party. I threw some food on the grill as well

graduation cake

Chillin with my mom

The fam...Kameron (rising sophomore), Brandon (rising 5th grader), Skyler (rising 1st grader), Sherice & me

throwback videos...a few days before graduation, I pulled out some video tapes. The video tapes were labeled "Deion...the early years". I hadn't watched them in over 10 years. So, I decided to watch them. When I saw this little kid, it made me realize how much time had passed. It also reminded me of how this little boy changed my life forever. I watched videos of him when he could barely walk. Then I saw a video of us playing catch in the park. This was when it was just me, him, and Sherice. When I saw that little boy who loved playing catch...I went back to that moment. Although I was watching this video with nobody else in the house, somebody started cutting onions in the room...

you did it...this was my favorite picture that we took. I told him that I loved him and that I was proud of him. I told him that this was the first of many graduations. I hugged him and had a flashback to the day that he was born. The doctor handed him to me and asked me what his name would be. Without hesitation, I said...Deion. Life goes by so fast. But in that one moment...that one embrace...it was August 9, 1999 again.

College awaits in the fall. But right now, the high school graduate has made his father proud.

And old...but that's ok, LOL

and so it begins..

I was looking through some old photos and ran across this picture.

My first thought was about how young Sherice and I look (LOL). This was sometime in 2003. We were just two young parents getting started.

My second thought was on the two little boys in the picture. Deion, who was almost 4...and Kameron who was almost 1. I'm amazed at how much time has flown by since this photo. They were just 2 little boys. They aren't little boys anymore. Deion is a senior in high school. Kameron is a freshman. As looked at the picture, it took me to a place beyond the two little faces. I remembered the day that we found out that we were having our second son. I did the math and realized that Kameron would be 3 years behind Deion. This made me think immediately about me and my brother, Damon.

As you may or may not know, my brother Damon is almost 3 years younger than me. Knowing that I'd have 2 sons immediately gave me visions of me and Damon growing up all over again. We grew up in a house where our parents loved us and encouraged us to be ourselves. We did the stuff that brothers do...we played, argued, teased each other, fussed, and got on each others nerves. But there was always love and respect. We always looked out for each other.

Fast forward to 2016. Deion and Kameron are back in school together. This could be the last year that they attend school together. This time next year, Deion will be in college. And Kameron will still be at home. As the summer ended, I gave them "lectures" on what to expect and what we expected from them. There was a level of excitement in our house because with them both at the same school...it's less running around for us.

Seeing the two of them in high school together made me remember my senior year at Wilson High. Like Kameron, Damon was a freshman. My senior year was EVERYTHING. I remember people would say..."I didn't know your brother was here"...others would say "There's a freshman walking around who looks like you."...then there were the few who'd say "I didn't know you had a brother". By now; I'm sure Deion has heard it all. They've been in school for a month now. I've already given them a more than a few talks. The talks usually start with me saying..."When I was in high school..." I'm sure they may be tired of hearing it. But I want them to enjoy this year together.

I told them before school started..."Deion you have to look out for Kameron. And Kameron you have to listen to Deion." Sometimes that's the hardest things to convey to teenage boys. They have very different personalities. Deion is very outgoing and very friendly. Kids like him. Deion is friends with EVERYBODY. I like it when parents tell me how much they enjoy being around him and how mild mannered he is. Kameron is very laid back. He likes to get a "read" on people before he lets you get near him. At times, he appears to be quiet but that's not the case. He's very outgoing...especially with his friends. He has his "4 man crew". Those are his best friends. He's cool with kids outside of his crew but nobody comes above the crew. I laugh when I see them together because they remind me so much of how I was with my crew. In a lot of ways...including what I described...they are a lot like their Dad. And that's not a bad thing.

From the first day of school, I've been preaching to Deion about how he's got to look out for Kameron. A few weeks ago, Deion was on the phone with Damon. When he got off the phone he said...

"Dad, Uncle Damon said when he first got to Wilson with you...you told him 'Don't come around me. Don't bother me. And don't come around me and my friends'. What's up with that, Dad?"

LMAO!!! Wait...I don't ever remember saying that.

Did I say it? I doubt it. But if he said that I said it. I might have said it.

Nonetheless, I want them to enjoy this year. I told Deion that his "little brother is cool and he's going to blaze his own trails. You just help guide him". And that's true. That's what's going to happen. It happened to us. I looked up one day and people weren't calling him "Kyle's little brother". He quickly made a name for himself. Kameron will do the same. I enjoyed that year at Wilson with him. I want Deion to do the same with Kameron.

The next year, I enrolled at South Carolina State University. Four years later, Damon joined me there.

Who knows...history could repeat itself. We'll see...

Beautillion Scholar (update)

Greetings family and friends.

My name is Deion Dowling, son of Kyle and Sherice Dowling. I have been selected to participate in the 2015-16 Cotillion~Beautillion, sponsored by the Gwinnett County Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. and the Fortitude Foundation, Inc.
I am a junior attending Arabia Mountain High School in Lithonia, Georgia.

I need your help. My goal is raise $3,000 by March 1st, 2016. The money that is raised is going towards a potential scholarship presented to me if the goal is met and an even bigger scholarship if the goal is exceeded. Please visit the LINK BELOW and share it with your family and friends. Donate as much as you can.

I appreciate all donations in advance.

Thank you for your support and wish me luck.


https://www.gofundme.com/un24uvrc

a letter to my kids...

I have often said that one of the great things about having this blog is that people can read it and get to know how you feel about things. I think one of the reasons why I've kept the blog and haven't deleted it is that I want my kids to read it and gain a different perspective as how their father saw the world through his eyes. Honestly, they know this blog exists but I don't think they've read much of it. But that's cool. One day they will.

Tomorrow is Father's Day. It's a special day for me because it's a day that I celebrate because of THEM. My children. Instead of writing a post about something random or silly, I decided to write this open letter to them...

Deion (age 15)


My first born! You were the first to make me a father. I still remember the day that you came into this world. It seems like it was yesterday. I remember standing in the delivery room and looking at you with amazement. You had only been on this earth for a few minutes before you urinated on the doctor who was trying to weigh you. The doctor smiled at us and said "Well...we know that part works." You and I are alike in a lot of ways. I have told you since you were a baby to always be a leader...not a follower. You are a great leader and I truly feel that you were put on this earth to be a leader. Am I hard on you? Yes! But it's only because I want you to see the greatness that is within you. The sky is the limit for you. As you move forward in life, you'll realize the lessons that I'm teaching will take you far in life. You're father is pretty smart...but you already know that by now. I am proud of the young man that you have become. I love you!


Kameron (12)


You are...by far...the most talented child. And that's no knock on your siblings...because everybody has multiple talents. You just have more. Anybody that has ever been around you will tell you that. I've found over time that you can be extremely shy around unfamiliar faces and the life of the party around friends and family. I am like that, too. It's not always easy being someone's little brother and someone's big brother...but you've done it well. Your mother and I realized a long time ago that when Kameron wants to do something, he's going to do it on his terms. That's what makes you who you are. Keep being who you are and keep shining! I am proud of the young man that you have become. I love you!

Brandon (8)


You are the star of our family! There's no doubt about it. I've never seen a kid this young be so cool! I WISH that I was as cool as you were when I was your age. I was cool but not like you. I've never seen a child so competitive and driven to be the best and win at everything! It's a rare gift. You and I look alike and our birthdays are only separated by a day. And maybe that's the way it was supposed to be. I can't imagine how it feels being the baby boy...but you are no baby. You don't walk in your brothers shadows. You've created your own trail and I like that. Most kids are fearful when it comes to performing in front of an audience. You...you seem to relish in that spotlight. Sometimes I look at you and think to myself..."Is that really MY kid?" Of course you are! And I wouldn't have it any other way! I am proud of the young man that you have become. I love you!


Skyler (3)


Where do I start? I never envisioned having a daughter. Even when I was a kid, I knew one day I'd get married and have a son. I never thought about having a daughter. Words can't describe how I feel about you. You and I have a very special bond. My friends told me that a little girl would make melt like ice cream. And I've been melting ever since the day that you got here. Our relationship grows each day. To say that I have spoiled you is an understatement. You've learned how to use those big brown puppy dog eyes to get what you want from me. As much as I want to say no...I can't. Sometimes I look at you and I don't want you to get older. Getting older means that one day you will...want to wear make up, want to wear something that I might not like...like boys and want boys to like you back...be approached to do something that you know isn't right. It'll be those moments when you'll hear a voice in your head say..."I can't do that. My Daddy would KILL ME!!!" Simply put, you are a "Daddy's girl" and that will never change! I am proud of the little lady that you have become. I love you!

I know I can be difficult at times. Sometimes I'm James Evans...then I'm Cliff Huxtable. But I'm preparing you for this world that you'll have to live in. Being a father to the 4 of you is something that I take very seriously. It's the most rewarding job that I will ever have. It's a job that I can't afford to fail at...and I won't. Your grandparents have set a high standard for me to follow in becoming what I think a parent should be. If I can become half the parent that they are...I'll be fine.

Right after Deion was born, your grandfather gave me words that I will always remember.

There are 3 things that you must give your child...LOVE, DISCIPLINE, and an EXAMPLE to follow. I will continue to do that until they throw dirt on me. I thank God for loaning you to me!

I love you,

Dad

last day of school

(Deion, Kameron, Brandon & Skyler (photobombed it at the bottom)

Where did the school year go?

It feels like the school year just started a few weeks ago.

Today is the last day of the school year!!!

It was an interesting year in my house. The kids were all in their milestone grades. Brandon (7) has completed the 1st grade. He was on the Honor Roll and was named Student of the Month for the month of April for his school. Kameron (11) has completed the 6th grade. It was his first year of middle school. He made the Honor Roll for most of the year and balanced playing football last fall. Honestly, I didn't know how he'd handle the workload from his classes and practice but he got it done. Deion (14) completed his freshman year in high school. While he didn't make the Honor Roll, he adjusted to high school quicker than I thought he would. I need to re-direct his focus from girls to working harder in the classroom. He will do better next year!

The last day of school brings back many memories for me. But things are so different for these kids. We would leave school for the summer and you wouldn't see most of your friends until school started again. Nowadays with technology, these kids will keep in touch with their friends on a daily basis.

Remember when you went to camp for the summer back in the days??? You did that for a week or two and it was dope. My kids will go to summer camp every day this summer. It's fun for them but it doesn't sound like as much fun as we had.

Then...we always explored that sacred place back in our day...it was called OUTSIDE. There was nothing like being outside for HOURS at a time. Sometimes I'll send my kids outside to play in the yard only for them to come back inside 15 mins later for water or a popsicle.

There was always a big FIGHT at school on the last day of school. You could fight and get away with it because you probably wasn't going to get suspended...unless you got caught. The fight always started with somebody saying something like "I don't like _____. I've been wanting to beat her up all year. Tell her that I'm gonna get her on the last day of school." Somebody would relay the message and it'd go from there. There was always somebody trying to be Don King and they'd hype the fight up. I remember 2 girls who fought on the last day of 8th grade. I told myself that I had to see that fight because they were fighting over a boy. Well, they fought after school on the last day. Fists and hair was flying. Next thing that I know...a bra comes off and we get a glimpse of one girl's breasts!!! She was one of the finest girls in the school. And when I saw her breasts, I felt like I had just witnessed one of the best things ever!!!

Thankfully, there will be no fights at their schools tomorrow. And that's a good thing!

SnowJam 2014

The images on TV looked like a scene in the movies, Walking Dead or The Day After Tomorrow.

Thousands of people stranded in traffic for hours trying to make it home. Thousands of them would leave their cars on along the highway and WALK home in 20 degree weather.

Over 1000 of students were stranded at SCHOOL. Their buses could not pick them up from school nor could their parents.

The culprit???

Two and a half inches of snow

This was the scene in Atlanta on Tuesday.

WHAT HAPPENED???

A snow storm that swept through the deep south dumped snow on the ATL. I knew it was coming. Apparently, the government officials and the mayor of Atlanta, Karim Reed, didn't know it. We had been warned that we would be getting snow as early as last week. At one point last weekend, the prediction was that the snow would come to the areas far south of the city of Atlanta. Cities like Macon and Columbus would be hit with 4 inches of snow. The path of the snow storm changed on Monday and we were notified that metro Atlanta would get 1-2 inches. I learned this on MONDAY. I guess the governor, Nathan Deal, missed the memo, too. On Tuesday morning, schools were open. So were businesses and the government. I checked my weather app on my phone. It clearly said that the snow would start at 11am. I was cool because I was already at home. The kids were at school. My wife was already at work downtown. I looked out my window at 10 am. No snow. Did it at 11 am. No sign of snow. At noon I decided to step out of the crib. I walked outside and I see that the snow is coming down in buckets. Minutes later, I get a call from my son Kameron. He's at his middle school and he wants me to pick him up. I told him that I'd be there in 10 mins. I found it strange that the school was releasing kids. On my way to pick him up, I get an email from our school district office notifying parents that they can pick up their kids because they will be letting them out early. I thought to myself "did these fool NOT know that it was going to snow?"

Deion and Brandon caught the school bus home and everybody is home by 3 pm including my wife who left work at noon. I scoop up Skyler and everybody is safe at the crib. At this time, I'm still perplexed as to why people are having to scramble to get home. I looked outside and I knew that at some point the roads were going to get bad. It was rush hour. The temperature was about 25. The snow that had fallen was going to turn to ice on the roads that had not been treated. As it turns out, many of the major highways and interstates weren't.

I watched the news just like the rest of the world and saw the damage caused by this storm. Two inches of snow turned to ice and crippled the NINTH LARGEST CITY in the United States. People were stuck on the highways for 10 plus hours. No help. Can you imagine being in your car for 12 hours with no food or water? Can you imagine being stranded with nobody to help you? We're not talking about a Third World country. This is Atlanta, Ga! Can you imagine being told "we can't bring your child home and we'll take care of them at the school." Ohhh helllllllll no! I'd ride a bike to go pick up my kids if I had to.

Through the struggle, there were people who stepped up. I am always encouraged at what we can be as a society in the moments of tragedy. People don't tend to see colors or social status. From the guy who helped deliver a baby on the side of I-285 to people like my former teammate, Palmer. He brought snacks to a school bus that was stranded in his neighborhood then allowed them to spend the night in his home instead of on a cold bus. That's what you call "stepping up to the plate." You have to be thankful for people like that who were a blessing to others.

THE FALLOUT

The governor, government officials, the mayor, and the metro school districts failed...miserably. They failed everybody in this city. They weren't prepared. Piss poor planning. You can't be open for business then try to send everybody home at 1:30. By then, you've got snow on the ground and it's a mad dash. The governor and the mayor made matters worse when they got on tv and tried to DEFEND the fact that they messed up. The mayor blamed the governor. The governor blamed the National Weather Service. C'mon son. Don't piss on us then tell us that it's raining. It was a bad PR move. They were trying to make Atlanta not look bad. Too late fellas. There are 6 million people in metro Atlanta but we can't get it right. They both talked about how it wasn't as bad as the ice storm in 2011. I think it was worse. We didn't have people stuck in cars and kids stuck in schools back then. Nevertheless, you can't point fingers. Step up and say..."Hey, I messed up." The mayor believes that Atlanta can host a Super Bowl once the new football stadium is built. Huh? This year's Super Bowl is on Sunday. Can you imagine how it would have been if the Super Bowl was HERE and this happened?


Over the past few days, I've seen alot of people being critical of Atlanta for "not being able to handle 2 inches of snow". In defense of Atlanta, this is not New York, Boston, Philly or Chicago. There are NO snow plows in this city. They treat the roads with salt and sand. That's it. Secondly, the roads turned to ice. I don't care who you are or where you're from...you can't drive on ice. I can drive in the snow. As many of you know, I worked in Minneapolis four years ago. I would work there during the week and fly home to Atlanta on the weekends. I had never driven in snow until I got there. I learned quickly. You could have 18 inches of snow on the ground in Minneapolis and the streets would be clear. Schools and businesses were open. Not only does the city have snow plows but you have tens of thousands of citizens who have snow removal equipment. We don't have that here. So...I will defend Atlanta in that aspect. You can't remove snow if you have nothing to remove it with. And there's no need to put millions of dollars into equipment that you may use every 4 or 5 yrs. But I won't defend Governor Deal or Mayor Reed. They dropped the ball at the 5 yard line. I think the "northerners" who find humor in southerners not being able to "handle snow" should take a moment and think...how would you feel if you or someone you loved was stranded and you couldn't get to them.


Memo to Deal and Reed...today is January 31st. We've probably got another 3 weeks of "winter" left. What are you gonna do the next time that there is a possibility of snow???

Happy Birthday, Deion

14 years ago today, I became a father for the first time. 

It's hard to believe that it's been that long because I can remember it like it was yesterday.

Every man wants to have a son. I was no different. For my first born to be a son made life that much sweeter. It was the best day of my life. I knew at that moment that my life had changed forever. The way that I looked at the world changed as well. Life became more important. 

He's the oldest child...just like me. He's extremely smart and talented. I think he has many gifts that he will give the world. I admit...I am hard on him because he's the oldest and he sets the pace for his brothers and sister. But I think it makes him better. He enters high school on Monday. Where did the time go? 

I remember trying to decide what I would name him. I thought I'd name him after me. But when I looked at him...I said "let's name him Deion." And it fit. That was my middle name but it fit better on him. I was proud that day. Fourteen years later, he still makes me proud.

Happy Birthday, Deion. I love you. 

did you page me?

I had a conversation with Deion yesterday. He's 13 and very wise beyond his age. But there are times that I forget about the world that he lives in.

"Dad, if I get all A's can I get an iPhone?"

"Yeah, but you've gotta get all A's."

"What if I get 1 B?"

"I'll get you a pager."

"Huh? What's a pager?"

It dawned on me that this kid had NO idea what a pager was. So I had to break down to him what a pager was. I explained to him how his dad rode around Atlanta with $10 in quarters in my car in the event that somebody paged me. I think I may have been the last guy in the world to get a cellphone. Deion was born in 1999. I don't think I got my first cellphone until 2000.

As I was explaining to him the process of getting a "beep" and then using a payphone to call someone back, I realized how far we have come in technology. Pagers were every thing back in the day. A pager on your hip was a fashion statement that people wore like an accessory. You had to make sure that you had some fresh batteries (i always used Duracell) because you didn't want to miss a page. Unlike cellphones, you couldn't charge a pager.

After my brief lesson in technology, I realized that he was more focused on getting an iPhone than getting a pager. I didn't tell him that pagers are pretty much extinct now. So in his mind...it's all A's or nothing. And that's the way that it should be.

never forget

Two months ago, me and the fam were in New York City. We were taking a cruise around lower Manhattan when I spotted the World Trade Center. I pulled out my iPhone and began to take pictures of it. The Freedom Tower looked almost complete.

My oldest son, Deion, look at me taking the pictures and he saw the look in my eyes.

He said..."Dad, why are they building it again? Someone may just come back and knock it down again?"

I love it when kids ask me these type of questions because these are what I call "teaching moments."

He has no memories of the day because he was only two years old at the time. He only knows what we've told him and what he seen on TV. 

He didn't know that I watched a plane fly through that building live on TV. 

He didn't know that just a year before the attacks I was in that building. 

He also didn't know that when i was a kid, I used to stare out of my grandmothers apartment window in Newark New Jersey at the New York City skyline and the World Trade Center. 

And he'll never know the pain and hurt that we felt as a country to have that happen on US soil.

I said..."This building HAS be rebuilt. People all over the world have to understand that that will never happen again. It will never stop us as a country. Never let someone come into your backyard and hit you and you just let it go. We learned and grew from that experience. But you never forget."

He nodded and smiled.

I did too. Another lesson taught.

i forgot

Sometimes you gotta open your eyes. You get a better understanding that way. I recently had to visit my oldest son's school to complete my parental mandatory volunteer hours. Deion, age 11, is in middle school and the volunteer hours are a prerequisite for attending his theme school. On this day, I was assigned to help out the in the cafeteria. Simple assignment. I had to help clean the tables once the students had finished eating. This was cool because it allowed me to have a seat on the stage and watch the the 6th, 7th, and 8th graders. I found the next 2 hours to be very interesting. I watched as the kids came in. The cool kids. The nerds. The girls. I was within earshot of the kids as they came in. As I played with my blackberry, I listened to some of their conversations. They ranged from being very silly to very serious. I even heard one 8th grade girl say..."He asked me if he could get some." Wow. These kids are different from when I was a youngin.


Or are they?


I mean, it's a typical theme school. A school of kids from middle to upper middle class black families. Not ONE tough kid in the whole school. LOL. Seriously, I don't think one kid (including Deion) could have survived a week at my middle school. Don't get it twisted, Williams Middle School in Florence, SC (my school) could never be confused with NYC or LA but we were tough. There a lotta soft kids here. Maybe it's because their parents are soft? Then it dawned on me. I forgot. I forgot what it was like to be that age. I can't imagine how it feels to be 11, 12, or 13 yrs old right now. I'll be the first to admit that I'm hard on Deion. I want him to be great at whatever he does. I'm hard on him about his grades because he's an 'A' student. You can't bring no 'C' in my house. Deion's the oldest so he has to set the example for his brothers. That said, I realized everything aint easy for him. He's better off than I was at his age. However, it won't be easy. The world ain't easy. He'll have the same peer pressures that I had. Drugs, sex, cigarettes, alcohol will all be there. I told him the other day about how I had to do my research by using something called an "encyclopedia" but he has the Internet. That makes it easier for him.


Technology is great but you can't lose your creativity. Kids don't know how to MAKE up games to play. They'd rather be in front of a tv than to be outside. Nevertheless, Deion is not in an easy world.


Spending time at the school reminded me that I forgot what it feels like to be a kid again. So the next time he makes me mad, maybe I won't yell at him. Or...maybe I will but I won't yell as loud as I normally do...