the gunshot that changed my life...

It's June

Every time the calendar hits June...most people think of the end of school...summer vacations...hot weather...and cookouts

I think of those things, too. But one of my first thoughts is about one particular June

June ' 88

It was the last day of school. I was about to complete my sophomore year of high school at Wilson High. It was a typical morning in our house. Everybody was asleep except me and my cousin, Eric. He too was finishing his sophomore year. We had just finished eating breakfast and were about to leave for school. Since it only took us 3 minutes to get to Wilson, we weren't in a rush. I told him that I had to go back upstairs to my room to get a book. I got the book and came back downstairs. When I got downstairs, I saw Eric holding a black gun. I stopped. I said "what are you doing with that?" I knew where he got the gun from.

The gun belonged to my aunt. Apparently, she was cleaning the gun the night before and had left it out. She kept it in a black bag. The bag looked like a small purse. I had seen the bag many times but it was always in her room. That day, the black bag was on the floor in our living room.

Eric was waving the gun and pointing it. He was pointing it like a little kid would point his toy pistol. Then he pointed it at me. I ducked and said...

"Man, don't point that at me!!!"

"Chill man. I took the clip out." he replied

That calmed me for a second. By now, my curiosity was getting the best of me. I wanted the gun.

"Lemme hold it."

He pointed the barrel downward and handed me the gun. I grabbed it and immediately felt empowered. I had never SEEN a gun before and now I was holding it. I found myself doing the same thing that Eric was doing...pointing it like a little kid. I was pointing it at objects in the house and acting as if I was shooting it. While I never intended to point it at Eric, he was in the room with me. Then it happened...

My index finger barely GRAZED the trigger

BANG!!!!!

All I see is fire as the bullet is discharged. It happened so fast that I could believe it. I stood in shock. My mouth was wide open. I look at Eric...and he can't believe that I fired the shot. The bullet missed the tv but went through our living room wall...then through our dining room wall...then through our brick chimney. There was so much smoke that I was coughing. I yell at Eric...

"I thought you said you took the clip out!!!!"

"I did"...he yelled back

We didn't know anything about the bullet in the chamber. By this time, I'm scrambling. I know that I have to hide the gun because my mom, aunt, and uncle will be awake any minute now. I almost put it in my waste band but the barrel was too hot and I couldn't run the risk of shooting myself (even though there were no bullets). I decided to put the gun back in the black bag. By this time, my aunt and my mom run into the room asking what happened. At this time, me and Eric did what any other red blooded American kid would do...

We lied.

We said the gun "went off" from the bag. Looking back on it, we didn't know how dumb that sounded. The bag was on the floor where my aunt had left it. Logistically, there's no way the gun could have fired high enough to go OVER the tv from the floor. We managed to get out of the house with that lie and head off to school. The plan was to stick with that lie once we got home but we eventually caved in and told the truth. It wasn't like we had any other options.

The punishment was "house arrest". We couldn't talk on the phone nor go outside for the rest of the summer. It was horrible. It was the longest summer of my life. While I can laugh today at firing a loaded gun in my house, the reality is that I could have died that day. I could have killed Eric. The guilt of what COULD have happened that day haunted me for a long time. Honestly, I changed that day. I became a person who cared more about life. My whole outlook changed. I got even more serious about school and my first love (football). On a day that I could have died...I was reborn. Simple put...it was the gunshot that changed my life.

F#%k tha police

F#%k the police comin straight from the underground
A young brutha got it bad cause I'm brown
And not the other color so police think
they have the authority to kill a minority - Ice Cube (F#%k tha Police)

I don't like the police.

Never have. Never will.

I know that they are here to serve and protect. I know that they have a thankless job. I know that 99% of cops are good people. I guess I'm just a magnet for the 1% of cops that are racist assholes. Let me take you back to the summer of 1998 when a young Kyle got pulled over THREE times in ONE week for the same offense...DWB (driving while black)

SUNDAY

I was riding in the car with my boy, JFresh. We had just come from downtown Atlanta and were headed to our townhouse in nearby Marietta. We were waiting at a traffic light when we saw a cop get behind his car. As soon as we made a right turn, the blue lights came on. JFresh, who was driving a sleek black Acura Integra, was calm. He showed the officer his papers and license. The police officer NEVER said why he pulled us over. He just asked if he lived in the area because J's drivers license and license plate were both from the state of South Carolina. He told him the officer that he was a student at Georgia Tech (which was a lie). The officer let us go. All we could do was shake our heads. There was so much crime in Cobb County at the time but WE get pulled over?

WEDNESDAY

I was driving alone. I was on my way back to my apartment after leaving the movies. I was on the same street that I was on just a few days earlier. I made a right turn at the same light. Same results...blue lights! The cop was nice but never said WHY I was pulled over. I didn't ask. Didn't have to. Wrong color.

If I was old, they'd probably be a friend of me
Since I'm young, they consider me the enemy - Ice Cube (Tales from the Darkside)

FRIDAY

I left Atlanta that day and was headed to my hometown, Florence, South Carolina, for the weekend. I'm cruising down Interstate 20 with the windows down. I'm driving through Madison County (about an hour outside of Atlanta) when I see a cop "hiding" in the bushes in the median. I look at my speedometer and it's reading at "60 mph" and the speed limit is 65. I drive past the cop. He sees me and pulls out onto the highway immediately. I saw him pull onto the highway but I didn't know he was coming after me. The next thing I know...I see the blue lights...AGAIN!!! The officer asks me for my information and I give it to him. After a few minutes, he comes back and here's what he says...

Cop: "Sir, where are you headed?"

Me: "I'm headed to Florence, SC"

Cop: "Where are you coming from?"

Me: "I'm coming from Atlanta." (Why do you wanna know asshole?)

Cop: "Can you step out of the car? I'd like to search the car...if that's okay with you, sir."

Me: "Sure. If you want to search it...go ahead." (What the hell you think you gonna find fatboy?"

I step out of the car and stand in the grass as this dude looks around my Nissan Sentra (not a Bentley but a Sentra). At this point, I'm sure that SEVERAL of my civil rights have been violated.

Cop: "Can I look in your trunk?"

Me: "Yeah." (I hope you don't see the dead body back there)

I open the trunk. Nothing back there but my bag

Cop: "Sir, can I open up the bag? I have to ask first...do you have any drugs or guns in this bag"

Me: I chuckled. "No, l left them at home."

Cop: "I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you. It's just that we have lot of drug trafficking between here and Texas. We have been cracking down on it."

Me: "I would never sell drugs." 

Cop: "You are free to leave, sir. Have a good day."

I wonder what was the dead giveaway that day. Was it my hooptie? Was it the Yankees fitted hat that I had on backwards? I know what it was. And so do you. How else would somebody explain getting pulled over by cops 3 times in a week? I did what my parents always told me...1) be calm & cordial 2) always let them see your hands 3) never ride with more than 3 other black kids in a car because you WILL get pulled over.

I have 3 sons. What will I tell them about the police? I'll tell them this story as well as my other run-ins with the cops. I would like to think things will be different for them.

I doubt it.

throw ya gunz in the air

"Throw ya gunz in the air!!! And buck-buck like ya just don't care!!!" - Onyx

I don't think I've ever heard more screams for gun control in my life. People want assault weapons banned. Some want ALL guns banned. The discussion about guns have divided this country more than ever. I have no problem with people wanting to own guns. It's your right.

"Like short sleeves, I bear arms." - Jay Z

People have been calling to get these high magazine assault weapons off the street for years. But the calls have become screams ever since that idiot decided to murder innocent 6 & 7 yr old kids in a school in Newtown, CT. Hearing that news bothered me. But that scene, is being played out on street corners all across this nation in cities like Chicago, Philly, Atlanta, LA, Detroit, and New Orleans. Over the last month, Chicago has as violent as the Gaza Strip. Many of those killed look JUST like me. And let's be real, if kids were getting killed like this in the suburbs...the National Guard would be called in. I'm not making it a black or white issue. Just calling it like I see it.

"AK-47 is the tool. Don't make me act a mutherf*%kin fool."- Ice Cube

If owned an AK, I'm using it to KILL somebody. I don't need an AK to hunt Bambi. I'm all for protecting yourself. And I'm ALL for protecting me and my family. Believe me, if I felt threatened, I would pull the trigger as easy as it is to breathe. But I don't need an AK-47 to protect me or my family. I respect anybody's desire to own one but they don't need one. A handgun? Sure. Shotgun? Cool. AK-47? Nah man. You don't need it. I can understand why people don't want the government to tell them what they can or can't own. But let's use some common sense.

"I never pulled my gun on nobody who didn't deserve it."- Omar from The Wire

I always find it comical to listen to these gun rights advocates and the clowns at the NRA. They want these guns but they have no idea. If you're in your big house in the hills, you are oblivious to how things are out here. Let me interview them. I'd ask...

"Have you ever heard bullets ring out and you had to hit the ground because you didn't know where they were coming from?"

"Have you ever been shot? Ever been shot at?" It ain't a good feeling

"Have you ever seen a bullet riddled body? Have you ever lost anybody in your family to gun violence?"

They don't understand. They never will

As soon as somebody can convince me why we SHOULD have these guns on the street, I'll go get me an arsenal like TI.