PODCAST: things that you should do AFTER sex...

When it comes to sex, there has always been a discussion about what you should and should not do BEFORE having sex. There's also been many discussions about what you should do DURING sex. But it's not often for people to talk about what you should do AFTER sex. On this podcast, I'll do just that.

things that you should do AFTER sex...

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she's fine...no condom needed

I'm going to take a guess about you. I would guess that at least 99.95% of you who are reading this have had unprotected sex at least ONCE in your lifetime. Is that a safe guess? I think so. Nonetheless, I found this article while reading last week. Good information here. I'm not sure how many of you (men & women) who this applies to...and I'm not here to pass judgement. LOL. But we've got to be a little smarter about how we get down. The idea of passing up on protection because "she's fine" or "she didn't look like she has something"...is not the move


Men who find their female sexual partners attractive are less likely to use condoms, according to a new study in BMJ Open. Apparently, the level of a woman's attractiveness impacts a man’s likelihood to practice safe sex.

“The primary purpose of the current study was better to understand the relationship between perceived attractiveness and condom use intentions in heterosexual men and to gain insights into the relationship between perceived attractiveness, demographics, sexual history and perceived sexual health status,” the authors write in the introduction.

The researchers found that, obviously, men who found women attractive had a greater desire to have sex with them. But while participants were more willing to have sex with attractive women, researchers found they were less inclined to use condoms when they do so. And men who considered themselves attractive also had a higher tendency to avoid condom use during sex.

Perhaps more interesting was their finding that men were still unlikely to wear condoms even when they thought the woman was at a higher risk of STDs. The researchers noted this was “surprising,” seeing as in past research, men have linked hot women with promiscuity and disease. Other studies, however, have contradicted these findings; one showed that men saw attractive women as less sexually risky when it came to STDs, assuming that they took care of themselves more than unattractive women. The diversity in findings may simply be a result of the fact that all men have differing opinions on the matter.

Only about 65 percent of men use condoms regularly, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, despite the fact that contraception has proven to be safe and effective. Condom bias, or people’s negative associations and attitudes about condoms, is often to blame: Individuals often feel that condoms are unpleasant and take away from the pleasure of sex (despite the fact that this myth has been proven wrong), or contribute to the loss of erection and other unwanted issues.

It’s interesting, then, that we now have some other psychological factors that go into condom avoidance — including the level of perceived attractiveness of a person. The researchers hope their study will inform people when making choices in their sexual life, particularly if they’re engaging in risky behavior with people they find attractive. They plan to continue researching the subject to develop interventions that can prevent condom bias, and instead help people be more aware of what motivates them in safe sex.

“Future research could also investigate whether individual differences in variables known to influence risk-taking, such as sexual sensation seeking and sexual excitation/inhibition, might mediate the relationship between attractiveness and condom use intentions,” they write.

does she regret the 1 night stand

I found the following article in Men's Health magazine. Very interesting...


Even if no-strings-attached sex seems great at the moment, post-sex regret might creep up with the sunrise. And it seems to occur more for women than men, a study from Norway suggests.

Researchers asked 263 people ages 19 to 37 how much they regretted either engaging in or passing up a recent casual sex experience. About 35 percent of women surveyed expressed regret, compared to just 20 percent of men. Plus, only 30 percent of women said they were happy with their most recent one-night stand, while around 50 percent of men said the same. (These are the new rules of one-night stands.)

So it’s not really a surprise that women were more likely to be pleased with passing on no-strings-attached sex: 80 percent said they were glad they declined a recent chance of casual sex. That’s nearly double the amount of men who said the same. (In fact, 30 percent of men regretted not getting frisky when they were given the chance.)

Women did worry more about pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, and loss of reputation associated with casual sex, but those factors don’t account for the sex differences when it came to post-sex regret. Even the difference in sexual satisfaction didn’t seem to explain the disparity.

Instead, researchers suggested that it comes down to fundamental differences that tie into evolutionary psychology. Basically, women may be more wired to see sex as a way to have children with a supportive partner. A short-term rendezvous wouldn’t provide that for them. But for men, the results of short-term sex wouldn’t be so problematic—so they look for casual opportunities more than women do.

Magic...25 years later

November 7, 1991

I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was a freshman at SOUTH CAROLINA STATE UNIVERSITY. It was almost 6pm. I had just finished football practice when I made my way to the dorm. I heard somebody say "____ has AIDS".

My reply was "Man, don't say shit like that. You'll end up starting a nasty rumor."

It took a few mins to make my way to the 3rd floor to my room. When I got upstairs, a few of my teammates looked real sad. I didn't know why. I didn't ask. I proceeded to head to my room. I turned the tv on to watch the news. And it happened.

BOOM!!!

I saw Magic Johnson on tv and he was announcing that he had HIV and would be retiring from the NBA.

WHAT????

Are you kiddin me?

Magic wasn't gay. How could this be? I'll admit that I wasn't a HUGE fan of his because I was a Michael Jordan fan. But I gave Magic his props because he was a winner...just like me. Keep in mind that in 1991, we thought that this would be the last time that we saw him on tv. HIV would kill him within 2 yrs. That's what we thought. Well, it's been 25 years and Magic is healthy and living with HIV. I remember seeing some dudes CRYING when they heard the news. As the word spread throughout our campus, we all were concerned about our own vulnerability. At that time, I knew very little about HIV/AIDS. I just knew...you didn't want to be around people who had it so you wouldn't "catch it", it was a gay disease, and you would die from it. That's all that I knew. Honestly, Magic was the only person that I "knew" who had it. I really thought the next time that I saw Magic he'd be frail and look like death. But a funny thing happened after Magic's announcement...


I think his announcement made me become more knowledgeable about HIV/AIDS. I learned as much as I could. I also tried to educate those around me. In my research, I learned how homophobic I had become. It wasn't something that I was totally aware of...but I was doing it. I wasn't raised to be prejudiced towards anybody. But I realized that I had to look at myself and my thought process. I had to become tolerable of ALL people. It was at that point where I began to let go and not be homophobic. I saw people for who they were. It didn't matter who they loved or slept with. I became even more sympathetic to those who suffered from this disease. I learned that it wasn't something you could "catch". Magic's announcement helped me do all of this.


In 2007, I got a chance to meet Magic. It was on the set of TNT's "Inside the NBA" where Magic worked along side host Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith, and Charles Barkley. I got a chance to speak to him and talk a little basketball with him. We sat in the green room...just my wife, 2 other people, Ernie, Charles, Kenny, Magic, and me...and we watched NBA games until they went on the air. I found Magic to be just as cool and as engaging as I thought he'd be. While we didn't talk long, I enjoyed it. I really wanted to thank him for all that he had done for the HIV/AIDS movement. I wanted to tell him how much I respected him as a player but hated the Lakers. I wanted to also tell him about how we thought his announcement would be his death sentence but he made it. I didn't want to be to deep but I wanted to tell him how I became a fan of his that day...and I've been a fan ever since...but I wasn't a fan before (if that makes sense). I just wanted to say thanks for all that he had done. Unlike that day 25 years ago, he was the only person that I knew who had HIV. Over the years, I would lose family members and people who I knew to the deadly disease. While there is no cure and Magic will live with HIV for the rest of his life, I wanted to thank him for opening my eyes as well as the eyes of millions of people around the world.


In parting...all I could say was...


"Take care of yourself, Magic."


"I DEFINITELY will do that!"


Thanks Magic