what we are

*repost May 2010*

I tried to get some work done from home on a rainy evening.

The only sounds that were heard through my spacious, yet partially furnished condo was the rainfall and the instrumental beats from JDilla. Rainy days in downtown Atlanta always made me feel peaceful. I knew it'd be a good night.

Then my cell phone rang. It was Terrin. Terrin is a woman who I've been seeing for the last 4 months. She's not my girlfriend and I'm not her boyfriend. We've never "defined" what we have. We go out on dates and stuff. And of course, we're sleeping together. I like her. She said from the onset that she wasn't looking for a man. That was cool for me because I'm not looking for a girlfriend.

"Hello." I answered.

"Hey. I wanted to know if it was cool if I came over. I need to talk to you." she said

"Sure. C'mon over. I'll be here."
She said she was already downtown so she'd be over in 10 mins. I'll admit...I was curious why she wanted to talk to me in person. She could have said whatever she needed to say over the phone. She arrives 10 mins later. Before she gets comfortable, I offered her something to drink. She declined. I noticed a concerned look on her face. I asked what was wrong.

"I need to know where I stand with you? I want you to be honest with me. We spend so much time together. But I don't know where I am in your mind. I want to know where this is going. It's been 4 months. I like you. I mean...I really like you. I just need to know what's up."
I paused for a second. I wasn't expecting THIS conversation. I'm a bachelor without any kids. I want to settle down one day. Not today. Not tomorrow. I cleared my throat.

"You want me to be honest?" I asked

She replied..."Yes."
"I like you. I think you're cool. I enjoy hanging out with you. I've enjoyed these past 4 months. I haven't seen anybody since we've been together. I haven't asked you if you've been out with anybody since we've been together because it's not my business. I don't know if you have or not."

She interrupted me..."I haven't. I don't get down like that. You know me."

Before I began my next words...I started to sound like that song by Little Brother.

"I don't want a relationship with you. I don't want a relationship with anybody. I know that's not what you wanted to hear but you told me to be honest. You want to be my girlfriend. You can't be. I like you but I don't wanna be serious right now. If that means that we end what we have, then that's what we'll do. In fact, maybe that's what we SHOULD do since this is how you really feel. Somewhere between me and you sharing laughs...you had visions of me and you sharing baths. You want to see us together and I can only ask have I misled you. I don't think I did. If so, I'm sorry. I dig you...please understand. I just don't dig you enough to be your man."

Blank stare.

"I just can't give you what you want and you can't give me what I need. I'm sorry that we could never be more than what we are."

Silence...

Freestyle Friday vol 1 (That Ain't Love)

I'm bringing back the Freestyle Friday to the 12th Planet.

Each Friday, I will feature a hip hop verse for you. In the verse, I will highlight a line or two that stands out. Feel free to comment about the verse

Verse of the Week...That Ain't Love - Little Brother

[Intro]

Uhh, yeah, love 

You know we always, we always talkin 'bout love 

We always thinkin 'bout it y'know 

I'm in love, I want love, I need love, whatever 

But like sometimes I wonder With all the hurt and pain that people that supposedly love you put you through 

Is that really love? 

[Phonte] 

We would go to each other's houses, sleep on the flo' 

Crash on each other's couches, work like kings and 

eat like paupers, now my heart palpitates 

just thinkin 'bout all the stress that came up out this 

Started out hard, goin for the long haul 

Put all of the bullshit and hoes on pause 

Shit got major we, stacked a little paper now 

Couple years later can't get a phone call 

Hold up~! Big fish in a little pond 

Swimmin 'round town, thinkin like we already stars 

And they say that money change you, but money don't change you 

It just make you more of what you already are 

Hope our kids do better than we 

Hope he and she learn to stick together when the times get ugly 

I've been misconstrued, lied to and abused 

But my fam still swear that they love me man 

[Chorus] 

If this is love, I don't wanna see hate 

If this is real, I don't wanna see fake - I'm sayin 

Cause I don't know how much more I can take 

I know that, all of y'all can relate - I'm sayin 

Uhh, if this is love, I don't wanna see hate 

If this is real, I don't wanna see fake 

You know that ain't love love, that ain't love love 

That ain't love love, that ain't love love 

[Rapper Big Pooh] 

You were the, right hand, my man 50 Grand 

Us gettin dollars was all part of the plan 

A few years back we cut ties, you understand 

It was all business, nuttin person-al 

And you vowed to come back a different person now 

we are back on track, and time heals wounds 

Nothin showed me you came back too soon 

Yeah, once again you and I to the tune 

We brought you on tour, put money in your fist 

You fucked up plenty and got slapped on the wrist 

That's it! And everytime the brothers grand mack 

The topic would arise about you bein kept 

The Lord says forgive I will never forget 

Shoulda picked up the phone when the times got ugly 

I've been misconstrued, lied to and abused 

But my fam still swear that they love me man 

Aww sheeit~! 

[Chorus] 

[Jozeemo] 

"I'ma ride for my n$#%^z", I figure that's what they all say 

It's foul play when cuttin throats is your forte 

Do it how you wanna be done, that's what the Lord say 

Daps and hugs, but turn your back and get the swordplay 

I'm sure you say I got it all wrong, it ain't like that 

I sent you all them letters, guess it's better you ain't write back 

Despite the fact you told me plenty tears you had to fight back 

All lies, surprise, I ain't diss you with no spite track 

I know you'd probably like that, but never will I hit your level 

You gon' dig your own grave, focus when you grip the shovel 

I should be pissed as ever, but I'm the bigger brother 

So I'ma keep it movin while you get your shit together 

Our bonds was severed, but all you had to say was fuck me 

I smelled your bullshit, consider me lucky 

I've been misconstrued, lied to and abused 

But my fam still swear that they love me - ain't that a bitch! 

[Chorus] 

{*sung ad libs to fade*}

Love...whether its with your family, significant other, or friends...can be difficult. 

(song)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWZ0usTddyA

muzikmonday vol 2

MuzikMonday...

here are a few joints that I heard this week while listening to Pandora


Fool for You - Cee Lo Green featuring Melanie Fiona


I was very late on finding out how dope Melanie Fiona was. She can SING. I've been rocking with Cee Lo since he and Goodie Mob broke on the music scene in the mid 90s. Very deep song that most people can relate to. We've all been a fool for someone. I know I have. And that's not always a bad thing






Don't You Have A Man - Drake featuring Little Brother & Dwele


I'm not a fan of Drake. Never been. But this is my favorite joint from here. This dropped in like 2007. Little Brother, Phonte and Pooh, was still a group at the time. All 3 of the fellas provide dope bars as well as a nice hook from Dwele.






What Are We Doing - Robert Glasper Experiment featuring Brandy


This joint bangs. Period. I was pleasantly surprised to hear Brandy sound this good






Slippin - DMX


I miss THIS DMX







Can You Stand the Rain - New Edition


Classic!!!!