graduation day...20 Years Later

20 years ago today...I did it. December 14, 1996

I accomplished one of the biggest goals that I've ever had.

I graduated from college.

I totally enjoyed every minute that I spent at South Carolina State University. I went there as a young boy and left as a man. When I graduated from high school, I really didn't appreciate it because it was just a stepping stone in my eyes. But this was different. This was where I wanted to be.

As a football player, I spent many hours in Oliver C Dawson Stadium. But there were none more important than the 3 hours of our commencement ceremony. I was happy to have my family, friends, and crew there to see me graduate. Many of them watched me play on Saturdays in that stadium. But the cheers that I got when I crossed the stage were the most important cheers that I'd ever receive.

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was in the low 50s so I tried to stay warm during the ceremony. Ken Chenault, the first African American CEO of American Express, spoke at the ceremony. I don't remember much of what he said but I do remember one thing.

He said...

"Never be too busy blazing your trail to stop and look back at where you have come from."

Those words never left me.

I'm thankful for the 5 1/2 years at South Carolina State (the business department was no joke...lol), the good and the bad experiences...they were life lessons. I'm thankful for the people who were in my life before I got to college and those who came into my life during college. The experiences helped me into the man that I am today. Those people helped me become the man that I am today. There's no way that I would be where I am in life without them. Many of you who will read this...are very responsible for this. The growth and maturity that I gained while at SC State was immeasurable. I took so much from the university. There's no amount of money that I can give back to repay the school for what it did for me and the lessons that I learned while being there. I am a loyal son of Her. A member of the Centennial Class (1996).

Bulldog for life.

I bleed GARNET & BLUE.

PODCAST : 12 vs 27

True friendships are rare.

Friends that become brothers are even more rare

How did two young men meet in college on a football field and become brothers?

Two young men who grew up just 9 miles apart for more than 13 yrs but didn’t know each other until they met at South Carolina State University.

Listen to their story as they talk about various topics spanning from…attending South Carolina State, playing football, being a student athlete, music, college life, playing practical jokes on each other and various topics.

Be prepared to be entertained and be prepared to laugh as they share stories that will crack you up.

co-hosted by Moe

we present to you...

12 vs 27


LISTEN BELOW...

graduation day

17 years ago today...I did it. December 14, 1996

I accomplished one of the biggest goals that I've ever had.

I graduated from college.

I totally enjoyed every minute that I spent at South Carolina State University. I went there as a young boy and left as a man. When I graduated from high school, I really didn't appreciate it because it was just a stepping stone in my eyes. But this was different. This was where I wanted to be.

As a football player, I spent many hours in Oliver C Dawson Stadium. But there were none more important than the 3 hours of our commencement ceremony. I was happy to have my family, friends, and crew there to see me graduate. Many of them watched me play on Saturdays in that stadium. But the cheers that I got when I crossed the stage were the most important cheers that I'd ever receive.

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was in the low 50s so I tried to stay warm during the ceremony. Ken Chenault, the first African American CEO of American Express, spoke at the ceremony. I don't remember much of what he said but I do remember one thing. 

He said...

"Never be too busy blazing your trail to stop and look back at where you have come from." 

Those words never left me.

pictured here with 2 of my partners in crime...teammates & homies for life...Moe & Russell

I'm thankful for the 5 1/2 years at South Carolina State (the business department was no joke...lol), the good and the bad experiences...they were life lessons. I'm thankful for the people who were in my life before I got to college and those who came into my life during college. The experiences helped me into the man that I am today.

Bulldog for life.

I bleed GARNET & BLUE.

the genesis...

August 4, 1991

I had waited for this day for a long time! I couldn't believe it was finally here. I remember it like it was yesterday. Two months prior to this day, I had graduated from high school. But this day had come...the day that I was to leave to go off to college. 

Some people would be nervous or anxious about leaving home. Not me. I had mentally prepared myself for this day for a long time. My school, South Carolina State University, was located just an hour and a half away. Not too far away from home...but not too close either. Graduating from high school wasn't a big deal for me. As much I loved my days at Wilson High School, I wasn't sad to be leaving. College was the place that I had dreamed of being. When I watched "A Different World" on tv, I envisioned my college experience being just like that. It wasn't far from it. LOL. Nevertheless, I was eagerly anticipating college. I had my concerns about leaving my mom and my brother, who was entering his sophomore year at Wilson. I knew he'd be fine. I knew mom would be fine. She had prepared me and we both knew it. My only other concern was my crew. We had become so close over the years. We all were headed to different colleges. Two of my other boys were headed to the military. I had my cousin, Eric, with me at South Carolina State and my boy JFresh was next door at Claflin University. I wanted the crew to remain as close as we had always been. I wasn't sure how it was gonna happen. There was no such thing as email nor free long distance calls. I also had football. I knew that it would keep me more than busy. 

Back to that day, I remember going to church then coming home and eating dinner. I remember the mood in the house was very weird. We didn't say much at dinner. I packed the van and my mom was going to drive me to school. My brother, Damon, didn't come. I remember walking out of my room and down the hall to his room. I was going to tell him goodbye. Deep down, I was dreading that walk. It seemed like it took me forever just to take those few steps. I walked in his room and he had his head down. This would be the first time that we would be apart. We had endured our parents messy divorce together. He lifted his head and I could see tears in his eyes. My eyes welled up. I gave him a huge and I gave him a quick pep talk that any big brother would. I told him he'd be ok. I reassured him that I was just a phone call away. I walked down the stairs and jumped in the van with my mom. That was the last day that I lived in my mom's house...last time that I lived in my hometown, Florence, SC...last time in the nest. It was time for me to go.

Although Eric was going to be a freshman like me, he didn't have to come to school for another 3 wks. I was on campus early because of football camp as we were preparing for the upcoming season. When I got on campus, I didn't know anybody. There were no other students on campus...just the football team. There is a HUGE difference between high school football and college football. I found that out very quick. For the first time, there were players REALLY better than me. Doubtful thoughts crept in. I was beginning to feel a little homesick. I remember wondering out loud if I was cut out for college football. I called my parents. Two phone calls...one common theme...you can do anything that you want but you have to work at it. And they were right. By the time school started, the homesick feelings left. I learned that I would be red-shirted (meaning I could practice but couldn't play in the games until the next year). It gave me a chance to get stronger and better. I needed that.

They say you learn more between birth and the age of 6 than you learn for the rest of your life. Well, I think I learned more during my freshman year of college than you could learn in two lifetimes. I learned...how to have productive days on very little sleep...how to party...about people and their ways...about the game that I fell in love with...about family...about women...about love...and so much more. I thought I knew it all before August 4th...but I knew very little.

More importantly, I found me and I was slowly becoming the man that I was raised and groomed to be. 

welcome home

HOME - the place in which one's domestic affections are centered. By this definition, home is where you make it. They say that HOME is where the heart is. And that is so true. This past weekend, I had the opportunity to visit HOME. Not the city where I was born...Newark, NJ. Not the city where I grew up...Florence, SC Not the city where I have lived for the past 15 yrs...Atlanta, GA I went HOME to Orangeburg, SC. More specifically...my alma mater, South Carolina State University. It was our homecoming weekend so I went back to enjoy the festivities. I had not been there in 5 yrs. To say that I had fun would be an understatement. I had a ball. More importantly, being back on the campus reminded me of who I am and who I was in the fall of 1991. I have often said that the years at that school were the best years of my life. The best 5 1/2 years of my life!! LOL. Yes, it took me that long to graduate. The School of Business was no joke! But I had fun. I learned so much about myself. I didn't step on the campus in search of who I was. I knew who Kyle was and where he was headed. I learned how to struggle. I don't think you could ever be THAT broke and have THAT much fun. I learned how to push myself and overcome challenges. Anybody can quit when you get knocked down. It's all about how you bounce back when you get knocked down. These were some of life's lessons that I carry with me to this day.

I left all of my blood, sweat, and tears in this stadium. Football was always my first love. When I came to play football for South Carolina State, I wasn't sure how it would turn out. I'm glad that I played there. I wore the Garnet & Blue with pride. Playing football is one thing...playing for a HBCU is something else. Truly a beautiful experience. Walking into that stadium gives me goosebumps because I know that I left it all on the field. More importantly, I bonded with some great young men who have become true staples in my life (more about that in a future blog) One great thing about going back to Homecoming is seeing old friends. You are reminded of the bonds that were created years ago that is still strong to this day. I learned alot about women when I was at SC State. LOL. It's interesting that people come to me about relationship advice now. Back in the day, my track record with relationships was horrible. It wasn't that I couldn't get a woman. That wasn't the problem...I just couldn't keep em. LOL. Was it my fault? That depends on who you ask. Sometimes it was. Nevertheless, by the time I left school I had met my future wife. Lastly, Homecoming reminds me of personal growth and the growth around me. It's about seeing your boys go from 18 yr old young - beer drinking warriors...to grown successful men. It's about seeing that female friend go from being shy and unassuming to running a Fortune 500 company. It's about seeing the look in the eyes of the professors smile at you knowing that they had a part of your success. It's about one big family. This was Skyler's first trip to Homecoming. As you can see, she was chillin. LOL

Life changing experiences during a 5 1/2 years span that mold you into who you are. Time flies and people change. One thing always remains consistent...HOME!!

Can't wait to go back. 

throwback thursday

Picture this...

the time was 1993...

the scene was on the campus of my alma mater, South Carolina State University.


As many of you know, I met my wife when I was in college. Prior to meeting her, I was the typical guy who loved women. I had seen alotta things in my time at SC State when it came to sistas. However, I had one encounter that I'll never forget...


One day after practice, me and my boys, Moe and Russell stopped by the cafe to grab something to eat. As we were eating, I noticed a female who was staring at me from across the room. Our eyes connected. She smiled and looked away. A few minutes passed and I noticed that she was staring at me again. She smiled at me. So, I smiled at her. I didn't know who she was. In fact, prior to that day I had never seen her before. I told Moe and Russ that she was checkin' me out. She was very cute. I mean, she was an eye catcher (looked like Megan Goode). I waited for her to leave so I could see what her body looked like. As she walked past our table, I noticed that she had a nice body AND she was bowlegged. OMG! A young 12kyle was a sucka for women with pretty eyes and bowlegs. Anyway, I wanted to run up on her and talk to her but I played it cool. I knew I'd see her again...

I saw the Mystery Girl for the next few days at the same cafe...at the same time. She continued to stare and smile. Well, I had made up my mind that it was time for me to stop being cool and holla at her. Just as I was about to stroll over to her table I ran into an old female friend from freshman year. She proceeded to talk (without interruption) for the next 10 mins. By the time she finished, the Mystery Girl was gone. I was pissed. She had slipped through my fingers again. Or did she? Well, later that night, I received a phone call from my homegirl, Stacy. She called and said that her friend Kandi wants to meet me. She also said that "Kandi has been watching you in the cafe and she thinks that you're cute." TOUCHDOWN! Could it be that Stacy is friends with the Mystery Girl???? Before I got my hopes up I had to confirm it. I asked Stacy what was Kandi wearing that day. She replied..."a yellow shirt and jeans." I thought to myself..."YESSSSS! That's her. That's what she was wearing." I told Stacy to give Kandi my number and we'd talk. She did.

Kandi called me the next day. I was surprised at how cool she was. Within a few mins into the conversation, I realized that not only was she fine but she was smart (can't talk to dumb chicks). I was liking her even more now. We talked for 2 hrs that night. We complimented each other on our looks. She said that she didnt know if I had paid her any attention. I told her that I had never seen her around until recently. I was truly impressed. I learned that she was a big football fan, pre-med major, and a hip hop fan. That was right up my alley!!!

For the next week, Kandi and I would talk on the phone for at least an hour each night. I was really feeling her. Not only was she fine but she had a good head on her shoulders. One night while we were on the phone, I heard her humming a tune. I asked her if she could sing. She said "yes." So, I asked her to sing something for me. She sang the first verse of Anita Baker's "You Bring Me Joy." OMG!!! She sounded JUST like Anita Baker!!!! I'm thinkin' to myself..."she went from being a Mystery Girl to a fine, smart chick who can sing her face off." Young 12kyle was enjoying himself.

From the time that we exchanged numbers, we had not seen each other in the cafe anymore. The phone calls were great but she felt like we should sit down face-to-face. That was cool for me b/c I wanted to stare into thos pretty brown eyes any way. We agreed to meet for brunch on a Sunday morning. I was pumped up. Got dressed and threw on some Cool Water cologne (don't laugh...lol). I made it to the cafe before she did so I sat down and waited for her arrival.

I waited. And waited. And waited. I'm like..."where is this chick?" Finally, a chick sits directly in front of me. I looked at her and smiled...but it wasn't Kandi. I wanted to tell the chick that the seat was taken. But before I could open my mouth she said..."Hi Kyle. I'm Kandi. Nice to FINALLY talk to you in person and not over the phone." This chick wasn't Kandi. Well, she WAS but she wasn't. I mean, she was Kandi but she wasn't the same chick who I was droolin' over. It wasn't her. She didn't look good either...I mean...she was aiiight. But she didn't look like the Mystery Girl. Was this a case of mistaken identity? How the hell did this happen? This chick had on halter top that exposed her breasts. And she had hair on her chest!!!!! Ewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

I was sooo disgusted. But I had to play it cool and act like I was still interested in talking. I played it off but that might have been the longest 45 mins of my life. I was shook. I don't know how this happened! Where was the chick who looked liked Megan with the big pretty eyes and the bow legs? We had a decent convo despite the fact that I was an emotional wreck inside. As I left the cafe, I told her that I'd call her later (I didnt but I did call her again) I was in a state of shock.

I was looking for the dime and somebody gave me a hairy nickel.

SHIT!

school dayz

"College is not dream...it's a destination."

My mom told me that when I was about 8 yrs old. And it stuck with me. My parents instilled in me that I was going to college. In fact, they made it sound like that was something that EVERYBODY did. So, I never gave it a second thought. By the time that I got to high school, the only question in my mind was which school I would attend.

Maybe the school would be like my favorite show...A Different World? Maybe...

My mom's mind was made up...I was going to South Carolina State University. There were several reasons why she knew I'd be going there...1) The school was only a 90 minute drive from our home. 2) My cousin, Mike, was already in school there. 3) My uncle had gone to school there in the 70s. 4) It was one of the best HBCUs (historically black colleges/universities) in the country.
In my mind, there were other things to consider. When I was in high school, I had good grades and I was doing well on the football field. I was getting interests from other schools for an athletic scholarship. I also knew that I could probably land an academic scholarship if i didn't get a football scholarship. I had looked at some HBCUs...but I also had looked at North Carolina, Syracuse, and University of Houston. I really had my eyes on Houston and I knew that if I got an academic scholarship...I could make the football team as a walk-on. South Carolina State was on my list but it wasn't the only HBCU on my list. I was also looking at Hampton and Howard. I had to make a choice...was I going to attend a big white school or an HBCU?

Well, I made the decision to attend South Carolina State University...and the rest is history. Do I have any regrets? Nope! Would things have been different in my life if I had gone to North Carolina, Clemson, or South Carolina? Of course. That doesn't mean that it would have been better or worse in my opinion. I had gone to a predominately black elementary school, middle school, and high school. I didn't need to spend any more time with black folks. LMAO!! I had already had my crew for life so I didn't need any more friends. I didn't need to be near home.

However, when I visited South Carolina State I felt like I was at home. I had been on that campus plenty of times prior to my senior year in high school. But when I visited the school, I just had a "feeling". I can't really explain it. If I went to a white school, I would have never met my wife. Never would have won a Black College National Championship in football. Never would have met my teammates. Never would have added cats like Moe (#27), Russ(#3) (aka 3rddeadline), Q, Naylon, Bobby and Mel to my life crew. Never would have grown up and matured the way that I did.
One of my best friends, Jimmell, graduated from Duke. She is Deion's godmother and I'm the godfather of her son, LaKell. I often jokingly tell her that although she earned her medical degree from Duke...she went to the wrong school. I tell her that I'm gonna make sure that LaKell goes to SC State or any other HBCU. We laugh. She will admit that attending Duke wasn't what she expected socially. But she has no regrets. Neither do I!

What about you? Where did you go to school? Did you attend an HBCU? If you didn't...would you attend if you had to make the choice again? Would you attend the same white school?

Hollatchaboi!!!!!

a common bond

I watching the ring ceremony for the Boston Celtics the other night. The ring ceremony is when the Celtics, who won the NBA Championship last season, were given their championship rings. They were presented the rings before their fans before the start of their first game of the NBA season. The ring ceremony is also the last time that you are celebrated for the previous years success. This is a new season. Time to defend the title.

Watching the ceremony, I was able to reflect back to the day when I played football for South Carolina State University. During my junior year, we won our conference as well as the Black College National Championship. We were awarded the ring that you see above a few months after our magical season was over. I was blown away when i first saw it (yes..those diamonds are real. LOL.)

Much like the Celtics, through the experiences that we went through...it has created a bond between me and my teammates that will never be broken. We all have strong bonds. We have bonds with our family, crew, hood, frat/sorority, etc. There are only maybe a hundred people who have gone through some of the same experiences that I did to get that ring. I can't put into words how special that bond is. It's not like the bond that I have with my crew or my family. It's strong...but just different. And like the Celtics, when I see or talk to an old teammate...we can reminisce about what we accomplished and what we went through.

Like the Celtics, every teammate isn't gonna be your best friend. Shoot, you might not even like some of your teammates. Some dudes you wouldn't have a drink with. LOL. But at the end of the day, we share that common bond b/c of the experience that we shared together. When we see each other, it's all love...just like the Celtics. There are a select few of your teammates who become like brothers to you. Like I said before...it's a very unique bond.

So...in many ways...we're just like the the Celtics and the bond that we share with others can only be described in one word...CHAMPIONS!