Thursday, February 19, 2015

how to survive a relationship in the world of social media...

While I was doing some research for last night's 12 Radio Show, I came across this article. Pretty interesting if you ask me. I have highlighted my thoughts in red...

With our quick paced, technology driven world, is it possible to have and build a lasting relationship? The answer is yes but you have to follow these key rules.

1. Never have arguments online - Your business is your business and the world should not be involved every time you and your partner gets into a spats. This causes unwanted attention and advice. It can also add fuel to the fire. A fight that can be easily fixed can turn into world war 3 because you let in unwanted troops. My mom always use to tell me no one should know 100 percent of your relationship, the good or the bad. Telling the wrong people the wrong things can set your relationship up for failure. | I've seen a few of these play out on twitter and Facebook. All I did was grab my popcorn. This should NEVER happen. People make certain assumptions about your relationships by what you say (or don't say) on social media. You have to understand that you can't control that. The minute that you have an argument online...everybody knows that you've been "frontin'" and there is trouble in paradise. 

2. Talk to each other - Put down the phones, get off of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and talk to each other. Get to know each other. Ask questions, dig deep to see if this person is who you want to be with. Communication is one of the biggest factors in a successful relationship. You cannot talk with a cell phone or tablet glued to your face. If there is a problem talk about it. Ask about your partners day. Find out there likes and dislikes. Become an active listener and communicator. This is essential in building a strong foundation. | I've struggled with this from time to time...honestly. I like being connected to the world. But sometimes you gotta put the phone down. If not, bring them into what you're reading or looking at on the phone or computer.

3. Explore - Have date nights and explore the world around you. Put the phone away for an hour or two. You are not going to miss a thing trust me. Do a technology free date night. Try out that trendy new restaurant downtown. If that’s not your thing try out indoor rock climbing or a murder mystery dinner. Events that requires you two in interact far beyond the physical. Building a bond and finding out things that you two can share together. | Date nights are a must. Make them whenever you can. Get out and live life. See new things. Never be afraid to step outside of the box. 

4. Stop lurking - It is cool to still like pictures but once you are in a serious relationship stop lurking on your ex’s page or other potential mates. It is disrespectful. | Not cool. Not cool at all. Why would you do that? Are you THAT lame? 

5. Trust - Yes you should stop lurking but if someone likes a picture don’t act like you caught them sleeping in your bed with another person. Ground and surround your relationship in trust. You know the person you are with and if they really want to be with you they will never do anything to intentionally hurt you. | A relationship without trust is like a car without wheels. You're not going anywhere

6. Stop doing things for likes - Life is not based on the opinion of others. They do not go to sleep with you. They don’t pay your bills. They have no factor on your life. So, who cares if a status or a picture gets a 100 likes. Those likes are not putting any money in your pocket. Social Media should not display every aspect of your relationship. Every time you kiss, you should not have to make an announcement. | Remember back in the day when your momma told you "whatever happens in this house...stays in this house!" Same thing applies here. Every detail of your life...especially personal stuff...isn't meant for public consumption. I share a lot on this blog...but you don't know my deepest darkest secrets. Some things just aren't meant for everybody to know. Period. 

In short, Keep your relationship to yourself. Guard it and protect it. 

A relationship can be complicated to understand between the two people who are involved in it. You only complicate things when you bring others...especially nosey people in it. 

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