Tuesday, December 8, 2009

12 on Tiger

Errybody and their momma has given their 2cents on Tiger Woods

Did you think that I wasn't gonna do it, too?

If you think that I'm gonna use this post to blast Eldrick Woods...I'm not. I'm gonna offer a different perspective. Peep the following excerpt that sheds some light on the situation.

words by Bill Tisdale (www.HitBooks.com)

My observations about Tiger Woods is the subject of my book, "Walking With A Tiger." I wrote the book years ago and preached a sermon series about my son and I attending one of Tiger's tournaments. He's in a bit of a pickle now to put it mildly. What do I think now?

Tiger did a low down despicable thing. I think the same thing that I said a few years ago in the issue, "So What About Jesse?" That issue was about Jesse Jackson and Bill Clinton, but it also could have been about David, Solomon, Samson and tons of other leaders, pastors, priests and public figures. As a pious pastor I should only say, "How dare Tiger to do such a low down despicable thing!" Many write in prayer requests when their spouse has been unfaithful, "What was he or she thinking?"I have a good idea what he was thinking. I would like to be pious, self-righteous and perfect sounding but I can't. I can't because if I am perfectly honest with myself, I'm not sure if I could hold up under star pressure. I'm really not sure. You ask, "What do you mean you're not sure that you could hold up? You're a pastor! Of course you could hold up!"As Joan Rivers used to say, "Can we talk?"

These are Tiger's circumstances:

1. He is an Alpha Male. This is a man used to winning. He has a passion and drive to win. He practices unceasingly. He is a. They are us perfectionist at his game. At his best he is undefeatable. He is the best at his sport in the history of the game. He is the epitome of the alpha male.Alpha males are biologically driven by testosterone, the male hormone. The SAME hormone that's usually responsible for aggressive drive to dominate and win is the SAME hormone that's responsible for "guess what?" Yes, that too. I've counseled with a lot of couples, and I see the hormone at work. Men who are highly driven are usually highly driven in all areasually the ones whose wives complain their husbands had an extra-marital affair. They rarely complain of the men's lack of interest in amorous activities.Men who are rarely tempted don't seem to be as highly testosterone loaded. When sitting across from their wives, the wife is likely to complain about her husband's lack of interest and/or performance in "that" area. Is this an over simplification? Sure, but the general principle is what I've observed. So Tiger is an alpha male. That's pretty obvious.

2. He has more willing beautiful women presented to him in one day than most men will have available to them in a lifetime. Women, let me ask you a question. Who is the world's most handsome and enticing man? Now imagine a different one just like him after you every day. That's what Tiger faces.

3. He's the first billionaire athlete. A billion dollars can do wonders for your looks, but Tiger is a good looking man without the billion. So couple a billion dollars, world fame and good looks and you've got a proverbial super chick magnet. As a matter of fact, a million or two will line them up and a billion is a thousand million.

4. He's in awesome physical shape. I occasionally play golf. It's not my favorite sport because it's too passive for me, but walking 18 holes and doing all that swinging is a reasonably good workout. Do it every day plus hit a few hundred practice balls on the range and it keeps you in excellent shape. Better shape equals more testosterone. More testosterone equals...

5. He's young. Enough said.

6. He's away from home a lot. His work causes him to travel a lot. That means sleeping in a lot of hotels (alone if he's strong) all over the world. The isolation from your wife (and that assumes that the relationship is good and that you really miss being away from your wife) in strange lonely places can do things to a man. If you say "Not so," then you aren't speaking from an honest man's perspective with a good drive (I'm not talking about a good golf drive either). People think that Tiger's greatest battle is his PR image and the wrangle with his wife. I don't think so. I think his greatest battle will be with himself and the tons of women who will now throw themselves at him even more.

7. His greatest battle will be to not do the same thing again. None of the above mentioned factors will change but two new ones are added.

a) The women now know that Tiger is vulnerable and that he makes errors in that area. Like sharks smelling blood, they will be drawn more and circle even tighter.

b) Affairs often bring an increased coldness into the marriage. When a wife has been hurt seriously, her heart freezes and it takes a long time (if ever) for it to thaw. Hurt and the fear of repeat may keep her heart cold. So Tiger has two intensified problems. The forbidden women will be hotter, more forward and willing, and his wife has the probability of being colder. That combo is not good. It is not good at all. So Tiger's internal battle with the same thing will likely be harder and any line once crossed is much easier to cross again. Am I a weak man? No. Have I ever cheated on my wife? No. Have I ever been seriously tempted? That's another book. If I were in Tiger's shoes past and present, how would I do? God only knows about me...but perhaps you would be much stronger in those circumstances. In super extraordinary circumstances, it takes supernatural Divine power to sustain you.

The strength of an ordinary man is not enough.

Even the strength of a tiger is not enough.

Note: Two out of three married men and half of married women commit adultery at some point in their marriage. Those are the non-celebrity, non-billionaire stats.


Xcentricgem said...

I feel for Tiger and any other celebrity because they have been 'superhero-ized'. Because they have amassed wealth that most of us haven't been able to acquire, they lose their ability to do wrong or falter in some manner. The superhero only hurts the villan when the villan has hurt someone or has performed some evil act or deed...there is no identifiable villan in this case so the superhero has fallen from grace and become the villan.

The truth of the matter is that women ... though tempted ... Will opt not to cheat if approached ... Not necessarily bc she doesn't want to but bc she can't stand the thought of becoming the villan ... But ... When a man acts on his indiscretion he becomes the bad guy partly bc he doesn't assert the same emotional tie(s) to sex as a woman (does). The other woman or women played the exact same role as Tiger acting on their indescretions ... I'm sure that when everyone in involved speaks out ... The women will be viewed in some way as victims of Tiger (and whores) ... He is human and sex is a 'helluva drug' ...

wynsters the tigress said...

what tiger did only seems monumental because of his status and money. but this is a fact of life for so many couples everywhere. frankly, it's not really my business but for the sake of their children, i hope it's resolved soon, with little media scrutiny.

Bangs and a Bun said...

I agree with all those factors leading up to him cheating. Do I think that makes it excusable in any way? No, but it helps us put it into perspective and try to be somewhat understanding.

I do think Tiger is in the wrong. He's taking a hell of a beating (in the media and literally, at the hands of his wife), but I discuss on my blog today, the role of the women he cheated with.

They are not blameless. They slept with him knowing he was married. So to me this becomes a wider question of where the hell the moral compass of society is at right now. Sure, Tiger was the married one who made the commitment, but does that mean he's the only one who should respect that commitment?

I like to think there's some sort of 'woman code' whereby, even if you don't know the wife personally, you have enough respect for her as a human and a woman to not go after her man (or respond to his advances).

But maybe I'm just being naive.

What I have found concerning is the reaction of some men, kind of high fiving Tiger for pulling it off. A man who disrespects his wife and family on that kind of level doesn't deserve 'props' of any kind. I found that quite disgusting. Again, it gives you a good idea as to where society's moral compass is. Cheating is something which has become expected,respected, praised and laughed at.

*End of rant*

Thank you and good night!

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

That is a good perspective and pretty well written. As a person who was cheated on in a marriage, I agree that it takes a long time to 'thaw' and that time is critical. If the other person cheats again, the freeze gets harder and it is a vicous cycle.

After being put in that situation I never want to put another woman in my shoes, but I know plenty of women (and men) who are quite the opposite.

Whatever happened to respect and values? Turning down the married/involved person because if they can't keep a commitment to someone else..how can they keep one with you? I know, I know...easier said than done. *sigh* But the hopeless romantic in me still wants to believe that it is possible????

Kingsmomma said...

Listen all that you listed are excuses. Tiger deserves every bit of turmoil he gets....FROM HIS WIFE.

I don't give a got damn what goes on in the tiger lair..In fact I whipped out tiger woods 04 this weekend. I don't care what he does in his personal life but saying he's young, he's an alpha male, yada yada does not excuse or lend to his current situation. He's an ass, but that's for his wife to deal (or not deal) with.

there is no understanding stupidity.

Tiffany said...

honestly, i've commented mainly in jest about the incident via twitter, not truly tainting the issue with my personal views. i'm not of the typical female counterpart that feels all sorry for elin, nor sing tiger's praises or excuse his actions. i say this because i'm truly a realist and in being a realist i believe that once the inevitable has happened the only thing left to do is make a couple decisions. these decisions aren't just for elin to make, but tiger as well.

people think that elin has the kind of problem that most women would dream of having: do i stay and face embarrassment, but continue to live financially comfortable or do i leave, break up my family, become another notch in celebrity divorce statistics and live uber-comfortably for the rest of mine and my children's lives? all the other things, like finding love and being able to trust again are also aftermaths of these states of affairs (pun intended). tiger's issue, IMO, stand at does he stay, get the help needed to get his libido in check (if there is such a thing), as well as deal with the loss of his father (of which i understand started his "wildin' out" episodes because his father was strict and made him basically breath golf. he also has to decide if he has the wherewithall to deal with all that it will take to possibly mend fences with his distraught wife and the confusion from his innocent bystanding kids. i know couples who ultimately end up splitting because the wife stays, but really doesn't get past the indiscretion and the husband frankly gets tired of trying to prove he is where he says he is/was/etc. to add to this, the two points the author, bill, made regarding two intensified problems "ad nauseum" to the circumstance.

honestly, i know a powerful man, who has suffered the repercussions of a very similar situation, by behaving in a manner exactly like tiger. difference is there were never any children involved (much to the dismay of the now ex-wife who desperately wanted children to take her mind off her now ex-husband still dealing in continuing discretions) and the relationship did end in divorce. and like i've mentioned to you, kyle, i asked my very powerful friend this same question: why did you even bother to get married when clearly you have an insatiable appetite for extramarital relations? unlike being able to get into the mind's eye of a celebrity like tiger, i was able to hear first hand from a man who lives his life much like tigers (travels, dime pieces throwing themselves at him, president of his own company in multiple locations, status cars, houses, etc. all while sporting a diamond band on his left ring finger). his explanation to me is of course a topic for a different day; however, it is the reason i continue to ask or make the claim that these men shouldn't bother to get married. at least not until they've played as much as they want to play. cause if this isnt the case, my claim is that michael jordan had a "surrogate wife" who bore him babies, carried his last name and profited from his labor on the court.

and to "atypical" me, that's not such a bad thing. judge me if you will. poison clan was right when they said, "all women got a lil robin givens in 'em!" at least SHE hadn't lost after it was all said and done. hell, neither did coretta scott king, she had and loved her some harry belafonte all while MLK was doing his thing. i even learned they encouraged her to "slow it down" in the public for the sake of MLKs reputation (the. nerve.) perhaps, elin will find her someone to keep her grounded or maybe even afloat, if she decides to hang in there for reasons only known to a woman scorn...

The F$%K it List said...

I can agree that these are some of the reasons he might be tempted to have an extra marital affair. But 7 different women means Tiger is in fact using these reasons as an excuse to hump around.

Unlike some I do feel for his family because they should not have to be thrown in the mud with him over something that has become common practice for many men of influence.

All that said its not the Medias place to be his judge, jury and executioner but they have been in the last two weeks

Reina said...

These reasons could be valid, but I still see them as excuses. If he cheated once, okay. He did it more than once, meaning no guilt ever approached his conscience. Tiger gets no sympathy from me.

His wife and his kids do.

and1grad said...

Interesting article. I agree that its gotta be tough having a ton of super hot women jonesin to get at you. That said, seems like Tiger was decent at turning them away but Sally that works at Home Depot could probably get it. Odd.

Anyway, I treat this as any other tabloid fodder. I'm indifferent. I dont think this speaks to any larger picture nor do I think whatever he loses bc of this will have ANY impact on how men behave in general. Some women seem to think that stories like his & McNair's will have some form of impact on men that cheat. It wont. The only thing that will impact that is there not being women willing to cheat also. I wouldnt hold my breath on that.

Trish said...

Tiger did what he did. Thats his business, but what kills me more than Tigers indescretion is the women that he dealt with... I think the count is now at 12? I find it very interesting how they are slowly but surely revealing one woman at a time, just trying to destroy him softly. Everyday it someone new. His wife has alot to deal with right now. Will $$ make her hang on?? hmmm.
These women that he dealt with are sure selling him out for less money than I would think they would.
These women are now crying as if they didnt know that Tiger was married, they knew what they were getting into when they did it.
Last but not least...If he stuck with some SISTAS we wouldnt hear anything about this. Sistas would just enjoy the money and high life and keep it movin!!

Anonymous said...

I can agree to a large portion of this. Tiger is merely a man of flesh and bones, not a god.
Like the great prophet Chris Rock said, "men are as faithful as their options." If he's got chicks throwing themselves at him on a regular, he will eventually give in. Of these nine skanks who have surfaced, how many hundreds did he turn away?
Plus, we find his wife's reaction comical, but we don't know if he's been caught cheating before. This could very well be the straw that broke the camel's back.
Personally, I think it's just turned into a circus that needs to end. I'm concerned for his wife and family now. Before, they enjoyed a quiet life. Now you best believe they are going to get mobbed if they set one foot out of the house.

Blah Blah Blah said...

We are who we are and we are going to do what we are going to do.

Ther eis no explaining away something that you did intentionally...that you knew would cause pain. You say your piece, I hear it and then we move on from that point.

But really...who cares if he, she, we cheat...it' a private matter. And in my opinion, it's gone on way too long in the media already.

ShellyShell said...

I guess you and I were on the same page today. I wrote a post about Tiger too!

I agree with a lot of what you wrote BUT 10 different women is excessive! Although I'm sure there are more that are just keeping their mouths shut and hiring lawyers to get paid...lol! But why get married? I mean he's only 34 and has been married since he was 29 and started dating her at 24-25. Go out have fun! Sow your oats so MAYBE this doesn't happen.

I think the media is killing this but that comes with being the most famous athelete in the world and the fact that his life was so scripted. We never saw him out partying etc. This is up to his wife but he should know better! 10 women and one of them a porn star!

Mizrepresent said...

I thought the article was profound and didn't look at it as excuses. The reasoning was viable, and understandable. As a women who has been cheated on, it enlightend me. No, this does not give Tiger a PASS in anyway, he is already suffering and he will suffer for a long time...this was a wakeup call for him.

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