Showing posts with label single. Show all posts
Showing posts with label single. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

youcanfindmeinthaA



July 24, 1997

I remember that day like it was yesterday.

It was the day that I loaded up all of my stuff on a moving truck and moved to Atlanta. 

I had just graduated from South Carolina State in December of 1996. I was still living in Orangeburg, SC. I had a few job offers in South Carolina but nothing that I really wanted. I was working as an assistant manager at a video store. It was cool but I knew that I couldn't put my marketing degree to use at that spot. I was contemplating my next move. I knew that I wasn't going to move back to my hometown, Florence, SC. I loved my hometown but I knew that the day that I left for college that I would never live there any more. It was time for the young bird to leave the nest and fly. And I did. I had my sights set on Atlanta. 

In the spring of 1997, I wasn't sure how I was going to get to Atlanta. I had put off going to grad school. One day I called up one of my partners in crime, JFresh. Me and JFresh have been friends since we were 6. We went to high school together but different colleges. He too had just graduated and moved back to Florence. I mentioned to him that I wanted to move to Atlanta. He said he wanted to live there too. He suggested that we move there together and get an apartment together. I thought about it for a second. Fresh is my boy but he is by far the weirdest cat that I know...but that's my boy. So, I told him that we should do it. As July moved closer and closer, I thought that JFresh would back out at the last minute. He didn't. 





I had no long term plans about being in Atlanta. I had fallen in love with the city when I was in college. It was a place that represented upward mobility for young black people like me. The hip hop scene was bubbling at the time. While acts like Outkast and Goodie MoB were on the scene...others like Ludacris (a radio personality on Hot 97) and T.I (I saw him perform at an underground club but didn't catch his name but he ripped it)...had yet to blow. I came to FreakNik in 1994 and I told my friends that I would move here after college. Growing up, the only place that I had envisioned myself living was New York City (Manhattan). I love New York. I couldn't imagine wanting to live anywhere. But Atlanta just felt comfortable. It didn't take long for me to feel at home. In a city with 5 million people in the metropolitan area, the only person that I knew was JFresh. We didn't know our way around but we both had a great sense of direction so we knew we wouldn't get lost. We rented a townhouse in a north Atlanta suburb. It was the typical bachelor pad...TVs and electronics...but very little furniture. LOL. We figured that the best way to get familiar with the city...was to party! And we partied! Sometimes we would hit parties on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday nights! And we soaked up all Atlanta had to offer.  We lived together for a year before I moved to the east side of the city but we still hung out almost every weekend.

Years passed. I would eventually would settle down. I got married and started a family. Fresh moved to LA. But this place had become home. I felt as comfortable in Atlanta as I did Florence. I adopted the Atlanta Falcons and the Atlanta Hawks as my teams that I would support (not the Braves, though). I had my oldest son in 1999, got married in 2000, and then bought my house in 2001. Little did I know, I had planted roots here. The foundation was set. The thought of raising kids in city like this is challenging. Growing up in Florence, I could go around the corner and nothing would happen. That's not the same when you live in a place like Atlanta. Anything can happen. That's a scary thought as a parent. But this is where I wanted to be. Over the years, I have thought about leaving. But there's always something that convinces me to stay. Sometimes, I think about how life would be in Manhattan. But the cost of living in NYC is unreal! Unless, somebody wants to pay me a LOT more money...I'm not going anywhere. You can find me in tha A!  

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

that's why she DON'T have a man











"Mannnnn, if a woman is over 30...college educated...attractive...smart...has a good job...has her own crib...no kids...and DOESN'T have a man...SHE IS CRAZY!!!"

When I heard Paul say those words, I paused for a second. It caught me off guard. Before I could reply, he added...

"Even if she has a kid or kids...and no man??? You KNOW she CRAZY!!!!"

The circle of dudes all burst into laughter. I chuckled at Paul...not because of what he said...but because of how he said it and his strong Brooklyn accent. He's a funny dude. Was he correct? Not even close. 

For some reason, we all seem to succumb to society's definition of what or who we should be. You've all heard it before. We all should be married with children and a career by a certain age. And for some reason, we fall into the trap of that realm of thinking. Who wants to be defined by a few people? I don't think anybody should want that. 

Back to Paul's statement. I could have corrected him. But who am I to tell him that women ain't crazy. I know he's dealt with a few crazy women. LOL. Seriously, you have to look deeper into it...

Maybe she's single because...she's not ready for a relationship

Maybe she's single because...she is focused on her career and doesn't have time to devote to dating nor a relationship

Maybe she's single because...she just got out of a relationship

Maybe she's single because...she is waiting for Mr. Right

Maybe she's single because...she has watched her girlfriends run down the aisle and not be ready for marriage and she refuses to become a statistic

Maybe she's single because...she is afraid of committing

Maybe she's single because...she actually enjoys being single and not having to "answer" to a man

Maybe she's single because...she likes traveling the globe and she can't handle a long distance relationship

Maybe she's single because...she thinks all of the good men are engaged or married

Maybe she's single because...she knows that a lot of male egos will be bothered by her degrees and six figure salary

Maybe she's single because...she is tired of dealing with trifling men who don't know what they want...but know they want sex...but don't want a commitment...but don't want her with another man.

Now...Paul could have been right. Maybe she is crazy...but i think it's probably one of the reasons that I listed more than it is her being crazy. 

Thursday, October 6, 2011

how sweet it is to be single


Religion

It's something that I've RARELY mention in the 4 yrs that I've had this blog. I don't talk about religion for my own personal reasons. I am a spiritual person and I see no need to impose my beliefs on you. These are mine. And you have yours.

Today will be different. Kinda...

I want to share with you some exerpts from a FUNNY sermon that I heard this past Sunday at my church. The title of the sermon was...HOW SWEET IT IS TO BE SINGLE

One thing that the pastor made clear that is universal...everybody has been or is single. Some have been single...married...then single. Others have been single...married...single...then married again. He tied the sermon to the bible verses, I Corinthians 7:27,28 ,32-35. One thing that I learned from the sermon is that it's ok to be single. Enjoy being single and you'll have no regrets.

HOW SWEET IT IS TO BE SINGLE

1. The ability to serve the Lord without marital FRUSTRATION makes being single sweet. (verses 27 & 28)

"Art thou bound unto a wide? Seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? Seek not a wife. But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin (meaning someone who has not been married) marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you."

TRANSLATION

Are you married? Stay married. Are you unmarried? Don't get married. But there's certainly no sin in getting married, whether you're a virgin or not. All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time, and I want to spare you if possible

2. The ablilty to serve the Lord without marital OBLIGATIONS makes being single sweet (verses 32-24)

"But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how many he please the Lord. But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy in both body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband"

TRANSLATION

I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you're unmarried, you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all of the nuts and bolts of domestic life and wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands of your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God.

3. The ability to serve the Lord without marital DISTRACTIONS makes being single sweet (verse 35)

"And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction."

TRANSLATION

I'm trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.

So you could avoid FRUSTRATION, OBLIGATION, and DISTRACTIONS by staying single?!!?

Hmm...

Now who wants to get married????