Wednesday, January 7, 2015

would you eat this???

I'm not sure why...but I've always found these posts...disgustingly and grossly entertaining. I've posted them on the blog ever year so please indulge me. LOL.

**Caution** If you haven't eaten, you may not want to proceed any further. LMAO

The 33 Craziest New Fast Foods of 2014

Another year has ended, and here we are with another crop of inexplicable fast food menu items to look back on in fondness and confusion.

There are some patterns you can spot amidst all the cheese: Pizza Hut continues to gleefully troll the world, KFC is WAY more fun outside the U.S., Jack in the Box understands that 90% of its customer base is stoners, and Taco Bell maintains an uncanny knack for formulating exactly which Franken-foods will cause Twitter to freak out the most.

Behold what humans worldwide leave in our greasy wake this year:

1. 7-Eleven’s Doritos Loaded (U.S.)

7-Eleven's Doritos Loaded (U.S.)
7-Eleven / Via
The love child of a Dorito and a mozzarella stick that we definitely never asked for but will totally eat when drunk.

2. Taco Bell’s Waffle Breakfast Taco (U.S.)

Taco Bell's Waffle Breakfast Taco (U.S.)
After months of whispers and rumors, it finally arrived this spring.

3. Subway’s Fritos Chicken Enchilada Melt (U.S.)

Subway's Fritos Chicken Enchilada Melt (U.S.)
Subway / Via

4. Domino’s Starburst Chocolate Lava Cake (Australia)

Domino's Starburst Chocolate Lava Cake (Australia)
Domino’s / Via
On a scale from one to no-longer-capable-of-speech, how high was the Domino’s R&D team when they came up with this?

5. Pizza Hut’s Doritos-Crust Pizza (Australia)

Pizza Hut's Doritos-Crust Pizza (Australia)

6. McDonald’s Black & White Pie (China)

McDonald's Black & White Pie (China)
McDonald’s / Via
With coconut filling and a fried chocolate shell. Would definitely eat!

7. KFC’s Crispy Cheese Chicken (Philippines)

KFC's Crispy Cheese Chicken (Philippines)
KFC / Via
Apparently “marinated” in cheese and then covered in crispy cheese bits. Admit it, you’re intrigued.

8. Burger King’s Burger-Topped Poutine (Canada)

Burger King's Burger-Topped Poutine (Canada)
Burger King / Via
Poutine to the People, no doubt, but not convinced this is the way to go about it.

9. Carl’s Jr’s Bisnut (U.S.)

Carl's Jr's Bisnut (U.S.)
Carl’s Jr. / Via
This is pretty much what you think it is: a wannabe-Cronut biscuit with a hole in the middle, topped with icing and sprinkles.

10. Pizza Hut’s Surf & Turf Pizza with Dessert-Stuffed Crust (South Korea)

Pizza Hut's Surf & Turf Pizza with Dessert-Stuffed Crust (South Korea)
Pizza Hut /
How did it take humanity so long to come up with a pizza that combines shrimp, calamari, sausage, bacon, steak, cranberry (or apple) and cream cheese?

11. Jack in the Box’s Hella-Peño Burger

Jack in the Box's Hella-Peño Burger
Jack in the Box / Via
Yes, that is a burger topped with stuffed jalapeño poppers and cheese sauce. And yes, explicitly marketing fast food to stoners is a brilliant strat.

12. KFC’s Popcorn Chicken Nacho Box (Australia)

KFC's Popcorn Chicken Nacho Box (Australia)
This was MADE for America. It’s a travesty that it’s only available Down Under.

13. Papa John’s Frito Chili Cheese Pizza (U.S)

Papa John's Frito Chili Cheese Pizza (U.S)
Doesn’t seem like the worst idea in the world, TBH.

14. Taco Bell’s Starburst Strawberry Freeze (U.S)

Taco Bell's Starburst Strawberry Freeze (U.S)
At last, you can have your candy in slush form!

15. Pizza Hut’s Chili Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza (New Zealand)

Pizza Hut's Chili Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza (New Zealand)
Pizza Hut /

16. Burger King’s Premium Berry Burger (Japan)

Burger King's Premium Berry Burger (Japan)
Burger King / Via
With cranberry spread and blueberries on top. Sounds almost as appetizing as the “Mush ‘n’ Cheese”! BERRY KRISTMUSH TO ALL!!!

17. Church’s Chicken & Waffle Bites (U.S.)

Legit brilliant.

18. Del Taco’s Bun Taco (U.S.)

(LOL). This was one of three “throwback” menu items resurrected to commemorate Del Taco’s 50th anniversary.

19. Domino’s Specialty Chicken (U.S.)

What is it? Literally just fried chicken chunks covered with cheese and other stuff. Why does it exist? We may never know.

20. KFC’s Dipping Fries (Romania)

KFC's Dipping Fries (Romania)
KFC / Via
Clearly, Eastern Europeans understand the need for a higher condiment:fry ratio.

21. Carl’s Jr.’s Double Loaded Omelet Biscuit (U.S.)

Carl's Jr.'s Double Loaded Omelet Biscuit (U.S.)
Carl’s Jr. / Via
Also at Hardee’s. Two omelets with sausage, ham, bacon, American, Jack AND cheddar cheese is a great thing to have for breakfast if you want to be passed out for the rest of the day!

22. Jack in the Box’s Chick-N-Tater Melt (U.S)

Jack in the Box's Chick-N-Tater Melt (U.S)
Richard G. /
You can get this miraculous monster of a sandwich (chicken, hash brown, cheese, bacon, cheese sauce, and ranch on a croissant) in one of the chain’s late-night Munchie Meals.

23. KFC’s Creamed Corn Chicken Sandwich (Brazil)

KFC's Creamed Corn Chicken Sandwich (Brazil)
KFC / Via

24. Domino’s Subwich (India)

Domino's Subwich (India)
Domino’s / Via
A bean or chicken patty between two triangles of pizza dough. This just makes me want actual pizza.

25. McDonald’s McSbrinz Burger (Switzerland)

McDonald's McSbrinz Burger (Switzerland)
McDonald’s / Via
Sbrinz is apparently a kind of Swiss cheese that is served in adorable little rolls. Why put in on a burger, you ask? Well, uh, why not?

26. KFC’s Double Down King (South Korea)

KFC's Double Down King (South Korea)
KFC / Via
The original Double Down was apparently NOT ENOUGH for South Korea, where KFC went ahead and slapped a hamburger in there too.

27. Pizza Hut’s Pretzel Piggy Pizza (U.S.)

Pizza Hut's Pretzel Piggy Pizza (U.S.)
Pizza Hut / Via
This pie boasts bacon, mushrooms and spinach with a salted pretzel crust and balsamic drizzle. It’s part of Pizza Hut’s big, bewildering American menu revamp.

28. Pizza Hut’s Sausage Roll Crust Pizza (Luxembourg)

Pizza Hut's Sausage Roll Crust Pizza (Luxembourg)
Pizza Hut /
If you put a pizza surrounded by pigs-in-a-blanket in front of me, I’m not going to NOT eat it.

29. Taco Bell’s Quesarito (U.S.)

Taco Bell's Quesarito (U.S.)
Taco Bell / Via
Your eyes do not deceive you; that is, in fact, a burrito wrapped in a quesadilla.

30. Subway’s Flatizza (U.S.)

What is that, a piece of frickin’ matzoh? NOT A THING.

31. White Castle’s Waffle Breakfast Sandwiches (U.S.)

White Castle's Waffle Breakfast Sandwiches (U.S.)
White Castle / Via
In the words of Businessweek, who eats breakfast at White Castle?

32. Pizza Hut’s Quesadilla, Burrito & Nacho Pizzas (New Zealand)

Pizza Hut's Quesadilla, Burrito & Nacho Pizzas (New Zealand)
Pizza Hut / Facebook: pizzahutnz / Via
Pizza Hut is DEFINITELY the place I turn to for authentic, flavorful Mexican food.

33. Tim Horton’s Buffalo Crunch Doughnut (U.S.)

Tim Horton's Buffalo Crunch Doughnut (U.S.)
God willing, these doughnuts (which were served for only a week at the New York State Fair this summer) will pop up at some regular Tim Horton’s locations in the future.

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