Monday, February 13, 2012

i want a girl...when i want a girl

Sometimes I think I'm from another world
When I'm trynna tell a woman just exactly where I stand that
I want a girl, when I want a girl
And when I don't want a girl, I want a girl who understands that
And that's some hard shit to explain
To a woman that's in love with you, it's a pitiful thing
Until I had to figure
That I don't wanna play around, but I don't wanna settle down
And that's a man's dilemma, 'cause every man remembers
How his daddy and his uncles did it
'Cause more than likely that's the way they're gonna do it
I know it sound fucked up and most wont admit it
- Phonte from Little Brother (Slow It Down)

Even though Phonte spit this verse when he was a member of the rap trio from North Carolina, Little Brother, the words still hold true. I can't speak for women but I can speak for most men when I say that we can all identify with this verse. It has applied to MOST of us at some point in our lives. We all get to that point when we WANT a woman. Then we get to that point when we DON'T want a woman. Sometimes committing ain't easy for us.

Two months ago I got a call from one of my boys. He told me that he was settling down. He said that he had met "the One". I was floored. In the 8 years that I've known him, I'd never seen him have a girlfriend...period. He always had women...but never one chick. He was the ultimate educated, smart, women thought he was good looking, no kids, good sense of humor, etc. Those kinda guys, at the age of 38, just don't fall out of the sky. Especially here in the city of Atlanta, a place where good lookin'/successful women outnumber men 20-1. He was the LAST one of my friends who I thought would ever settle down. An engagement will be coming soon and I think he'll be married within a year. But it made me think...

What makes a man settle down and get married? Men have been conditioned since their pre-teens to get as many women as they can. We were raised to be HUNTERS. Once you capture your "ultimate prey" you are supposed to put "your spear away." Makes sense, right? It doesn't make any sense but you get my point. your man...or any man for that matter if he envisioned himself being with ONE woman for 50,60, 70 years. Don't be mad at his answer. Most men will tell you that they grew up knowing that one day they'd be a father. Husband??? Not so much. And that's not to say that we grew up thinking we'd be somebody's "baby daddy". So what makes us settle down???

Finding a woman that will give YOU as much as YOU give them...unconditionally.


Tee Reese said...

Pumps fist at that last statement...

"Finding a woman that will give YOU as much as YOU give them...unconditionally."

Definitely can relate

Don said...

I like the fact that you contrasted the difference between a father and a husband. Not one in the same, although it took me awhile to realize.

I have no idea what makes a man settle down. Lol. Just kidding. I believe it's knowing when you want to spend the rest of your life with that woman more special than others beforehand.

Like yourself probably said to yourself when you jumped the broom.

Good post, fam.

eclectik said...

There's a lot going into that for me to answer ... Relationships, like and love aint what they use to be neither are relationships ...

Settling down ... settling, for what and why?

I just want to be happy and comfortable wherever that takes me is where Im going