Monday, January 30, 2012

the dating game

It's been a few years since i've been on the dating scene

But there's ONE thing I know about it...

It can be EXTREMELY frustrating for some.

I won't profess to all of the answers...just all of the questions! A few days ago, I posted comment, on my off tha dome post, about how women should be aggressive but not thirsty. A few of my readers asked me to give more clarification on that statement.


1. Men like women who are aggressive and self confident

2. Men like women who can express themselves well

3. Men are genuinely flattered when they are pursued.

Herein lies the problem...

Most women won't aggressively pursue a man for fear of looking "thirsty." No woman wants to appear to be too eager for a man. They don't wanna appear to be slutty. You have to keep it classy! The problem comes when you have some women who will go ALL out and "sweat" a man.

Generally speaking, this isn't good because some men will confuse this practice with ALL women. Some women feel like they are doing the right things on the dating scene but they are coming up short to those "loose" women.

Ladies, there has to be a balance. And you have to find that balance. You need to appear to be interested in a man but don't look thirsty. Let him know that if his feelings are mutual then it's a good start for the two of you. By all means, let him know that you aren't playing games. Quite frankly, at our age (25 and up) we're too old to be playing games. I've asked women "would you ask a man for his phone number?" And many of them said NO! Really? You must meet men halfway. Is dating easy? Nope! Can it be frustration? Yes!

I'm often asked by women about my single male friends. I have a few of them. And they are all good dudes. But I'm no matchmaker. I can put you in a room with them. The rest is up to you.

This blog should give you some insight from here.


ShellyShell said...

This dating shyt is for the birds. It used to frustrate me to no end. Now I just don't give an eff.
I'm good. It's definitely nice to have male companionship but I'll pass with the stupid shyt.

I'm one and two on your list. I struggle with three. I'll do so to an extent but I CAN NOT look thirsty. If your my dude that's a completely different thing.

I think the most frustrating part about this dating shyt is grown azz 35+ men texting and communicating via phone. Mofo pick up the dayum phone and ask me out. Do not ask me out via a text. You will receive radio silence on my end. This weekend this dude kept texting me what I was doing. I said I'm out with my people at dinner. This fool text back "should come through" *crickets*
This dating shyt is for the birds!

Gorgeous_Puddin said...

Thank you for the clarification! LOL! I'm a little over a year out of a relationship and I encounter the strangest men with the strangest practices on the daily that I just can't. If HE finds me then so be it but this active pursuit is not for me.

Tee Reese said...

Nice follow up.. and my two cents, nowadays you almost need a woman to be aggressive, or show a genuine interest. Personally I found it discouraging to find someone you're interested in swing for the wrong team <~ when did it become the cool thing to do!?!

At 44, I'm Too Old for gaming, or the figuring yourself out mess, the 'Huh!?! you mean you're _____, my apologies I thought when you gave me your number meant I can ask you out on a DATE? The text messaging instead of an actual phone conversation... And I've seen the crossing the line, not a good look!

Even the dreamer in me(to have the happily ever after) can relate from the male perspective ~> the dating scene is for the birds. Simply not pressing the issue anymore.

And on that note, I conclude with the song by Whodini 'One Love'... "One Love, One Love
You're lucky just to have just One Love"