Thursday, October 13, 2011

the father/daughter bond

Never underestimate a strong bond.

I am fully aware of the strong bond between parents and their children.

More specifically, the bond between a mother and her son. I don't have to look far to take note of it because I can see it in the bond that I have with my mother. The bond between a man and his mother is a special one. I've seen it develop in my own house as my wife has a strong bond with each of our 3 sons.

Now there is a new bond in my life. Three weeks ago today, my daughter was born. I had been told by my friends about how I should prepare myself to have my world turned upside down. And it has. As I look at her, I daydream. I understand that this bond must grow and our relationship must be cultivated. I am the first man that will ever love her. I am the man who has to show her what a REAL MAN is. I will always be Superman in Skyler's eyes. I am the measuring stick by which ALL men will be measured. If she saw me sloppy drunk, high, or smacking around her mother...what kind of impact would that have on her life? I have to give her...LOVE, DISCIPLINE, & an EXAMPLE to follow.

I can't help but look at her little face and wonder about what she'll be talking about 5 yrs from now. I wonder about how she'll handle her first day of kindergarten. I think about her painting a picture of me as a "stick figure". I can also see her becoming a young woman. I envision that moment when she has her first menstrual cycle. I see the awkward moment when she'd rather hang out at the mall with her friends instead of watching the football game with her dad. Then, there will be the moment when some lil snot nosed punk calls my house and wants to talk to her. I see it all. Clothing trends. Hairdos. Nails getting done. I see the day that I drop her off at college. Then I see day that I walk her down the aisle.I have envisioned it all

It's a new journey for me. The girls who I dated and the ones with whom I was friends with didn't really have fathers around. I mean, there was a few...but not many. I never remember going to a girl's house and being grilled by her father. Growing up, I remember having a female friend who has the perfect daughter/father relationship. Her father would take her on dates! In a sense, he laid the blueprint for her as to how she's supposed to be treated by a man. I had another friend who worshipped the ground that her DADDY walked on. She told me that she would often say to herself "I can't do DADDY would kill me". I used to tease her about her DADDY but deep down I loved their relationship. I want Skyler to feel the same way about me one day. I want her to grow to be self sufficient and independent. She will not want for and her brothers will see to that. I want her to be a strong black woman. I call her the princess because one day she will be a queen...not a baby momma.

Children are a gift from God that are loaned to us. I pray that I have Skyler for 100 yrs. She hasn't been here long and I've already been planning her life! LOL.

More importantly, I can never lose sight of how strong our bond is and I must do whatever I can to keep it that way.


KayC, The Quiet Storm said...

So happy that you finally got the 'girl of your dreams!' LOL!

You have envisioned the world for her and with the family tales you have of the boys and Mrs. Kyle I am sure the Princess will be no different. Heaven help the poor boy who is first to come knocking on the 12Kyle's door!!!

I MUST know where you found the personalized elephant pillow? That is absolutely adorable!

K. Rock said...

Awwww how sweet. She is such a cutie. It will be fabulous having a girl. My girls think the world of their daddy. Skyler will think the same of you. Congratulations and good luck!

funkdigital said...

As a new dad to a daughter, you got me all choked up here. It's a great responsibility for all the reasons you mentioned.

Nice post.

Tee Reese said...

A mother's love, a love supreme.
A father's love for his daughter,
to raise her to be a queen.

Lovin' it! Outstanding post!

dagooch05 said...

Kyle, as you know Taylor arrived as our 1st born & I got exactly what I wanted…a daughter! Most dudes want their 1st to be a lil jr however I was overjoyed once I learned a lil girl would be arriving. Premature yes however she has been a delight. I fuss like hell at her to clean her room among other things b/c I want her to set the bar for Tyler & Brayden. No more walmart or kmart clothes, its abercrombie & fitch and Justice. I know my lil niece is in great hands & I hope to one day walk Taylor down the aisle and see her off to college. Cherish the moments b/c time truly flies by.

Beautifully Complex said...

What an adorable little girl !
She is going to have a great life with you and her brothers to stand up for her & protect her. Who ever steps to her is definitely going to have to come correct ! LOL

Miss Mika said...

Awww, congrats 12K!! She is a doll :)

Your words could not be truer. The bond that a father shares with his daughter is so important. Its interesting, my father wasn't in my life for most of my life, but deep down, even though his absence was his own doing, I still longed for a relationship with him. And I know had he been a father in my life, things would certainly be different.

Your example is going to mean the world to that little girl. Many men should aspire to be the father that you've been to your sons and now, your daughter. Make sure you cherish every moment. They grow faster than you can snap your fingers.

Mizrepresent said...

I love this, and you are so on point. She really looks like the both of you now. Oh, such a precious angel, with the gift of having two wonderful parents. Enjoy Kyle...i know i was the princess in both my father and stepfather's lives, and it is a precious gift that i will always hold on to. I really think you already know my have everything it takes to be a great father and impact your daughters life in the most meaningful of ways...with love!

Thoughtsofsoutherngal said...

Awwww Kyle, she is beautiful. She looks like you too.

GorgeousPuddin said...

Beautiful post!! Touching and thoughtful! I wish all little girls could have a father like you are and plan to be to her. Thanks for sharing the pics. She's a cutie!! =)

MzInspiredMind81 said...

As an almost 31 y/o Daddy's girl, I know EXACTLY what you mean Kyle! Skyler is going to love you and her brothers(and mom to pieces). I have to agree, the bond between a girl and her father is unbreakable. This is a beautiful post big bro!

CowgirlCre said...

She is so cute!! She will probably be all down with sports and planned her shopping around the games. LOL!! Now all she needs is her first horse!!

♥ CG ♥ said...

KD, this statement is nothing but truth:

"I am the first man that will ever love her. I am the man who has to show her what a REAL MAN is. I will always be Superman in Skyler's eyes. I am the measuring stick by which ALL men will be measured."

To this day, my dad is the only man to love me fully. I know you and Skyler will have an awesome bond. Some days she'll get on your nerves, ask too many questions, want you to play dolls with her and interrupt your Sunday games. Above all, as you've stated so perfectly, all of your actions and words will reign in her life as the blueprint for those who enter her life. It's a huge responsibility, but I know you're more than prepared :-).

Single Ma said...

Congratulations to you and your wife. Skyler is beautiful!