WELCOME TO THE 12TH PLANET. This blog was created as a forum for you to discuss personal and worldly issues. It serves as a vehicle for you to express oneself.
Friday, November 20, 2015
PODCAST : I Think I Need Some Space
PODCAST : I Think I Need Some Space
Have you ever had a mate utter these words to you?
Have you ever said it to someone else?
Is "space" necessary in a relationship?
Listen to the latest podcast as I address this topic and share a few stories about how I got "space" from someone.
LISTEN and SUBSCRIBE to the 12kyle Podcast
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Blogger (http://the12planet.blogspot.com)
LISTEN BELOW
Labels:
black man,
black men,
black woman,
black women,
dating,
love,
podcast,
relationships,
space
Monday, November 9, 2015
Beautillion Scholar (update)
Greetings family and friends.
My name is Deion Dowling, son of Kyle and Sherice Dowling. I have been selected to participate in the 2015-16 Cotillion~Beautillion, sponsored by the Gwinnett County Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. and the Fortitude Foundation, Inc.
I am a junior attending Arabia Mountain High School in Lithonia, Georgia.
I need your help. My goal is raise $3,000 by March 1st, 2016. The money that is raised is going towards a potential scholarship presented to me if the goal is met and an even bigger scholarship if the goal is exceeded. Please visit the LINK BELOW and share it with your family and friends. Donate as much as you can.
I appreciate all donations in advance.
Thank you for your support and wish me luck.
https://www.gofundme.com/un24uvrc
I am a junior attending Arabia Mountain High School in Lithonia, Georgia.
I need your help. My goal is raise $3,000 by March 1st, 2016. The money that is raised is going towards a potential scholarship presented to me if the goal is met and an even bigger scholarship if the goal is exceeded. Please visit the LINK BELOW and share it with your family and friends. Donate as much as you can.
I appreciate all donations in advance.
Thank you for your support and wish me luck.
https://www.gofundme.com/un24uvrc
Labels:
Beautillion Scholar,
college,
Deion,
scholarships
Monday, October 26, 2015
off tha dome
who is President Obama's barber? I mean...the prez always has a fresh cut. you can't have a busted head when you're the leader of the free world. I would imagine he gets his haircut every other day
cheap hand sanitizer will make your hands ashy
have you ever noticed that the Tambourine lady at your church is almost NEVER on beat...but nobody says anything to her about it
my girlfriend is back!
i'm not sure how people drink coffee past 10am
Groove Theory was so dope. They should come back with another album
it ain't about what you're worth...it's about what you can negotiate
major props to Viola Davis for winning an Emmy. I'll be honest, prior to watching her on How To Get Away With Murder (one of my favorite tv shows), I had never heard of her. But I love watching her. Incredibly talented and beautiful.
I've never had a weak shoe game...never
not sure how I feel about McDonald's serving breakfast all day...
why do people get in the "10 Items or Less" line at the grocery store...with 20 items in their cart?
i had to remind my sons that these silly dances that they do will mean they will be the generation of boys who don't know how to dance with girls...
ever notice how when you're in a store and you NEED help finding something...there's never anybody around
there will NEVER be somebody this cool in the White House. Never!
i've been successful at almost everything i've tried in my life...except growing a beard. but after a month and a half...it's looking good
when you're waiting at a traffic light, there's always somebody who you have to blow your horn at...because they are looking at their phone.
don't get it twisted...Rick Pitino knew his players were getting strippers and hookers
sometimes...i'm the dude that you have to blow your horn at while sitting at that traffic light
Sherice and I hit our 15 yr anniversary (Sept 23rd). that's pretty impressive...if i do say so myself.
there should really be a third day added to the weekend
a year ago, the prospective front runners for the Republican ticket were Chris Christy and Jeb Bush. let that marinate for a second
now the front runners are Donald Trump and Ben Carson. somewhere...Mitt Romney is pissed off. he could have beaten all of these clowns. lol
favorite pizza spot here in Atlanta...Felini's. if you're ever here...get yourself some
i updated my phone to the iOS 9.1...can't say I noticed any differences
saw a car with spinning rims on it the other day. i didn't know they still did that
Skyler just turned 4 a few weeks ago. and i'm beginning to realize how funny she is. she cracks me up each day. you know where she got her sense of humor from...
the NBA is back. i think LeBron and his crew wins the title this year. but i wouldn't bet against Steph Curry and the Warriors
the summer came and went...and i didn't make it to NYC. i'm not happy about that
i remember when i was in college, i would schedule my classes around the Young and the Restless. nowadays, you couldn't pay me to watch it.
it's jeans, hoodies, and Timbs weather
i couldn't find the remote control the other day to turn my tv on. so, i walked around for 10 mins looking for it. i didn't turn the tv on until i found it.
i'm making some major changes to the 12 Radio Show. stay tuned
all i need is a new album from the Roots and NaS and i'll be happy
my crew cracks me up every day. i really think they would still treat me the same if i won a 300M lottery tomorrow.
this is my 900th post. wow. i've had this blog since 2007. i'd be lying if i told you i thought i'd have it this long. but this is my baby. long before there was a 12 Radio Show. long before i was a host on Dead End Sports. long before some came to know me as 12kyle...there was the 12th Planet. this is my outlet. more people read now more than ever. i really don't care about that. i write for me. just glad and thankful that y'all read and rock to what i write. i appreciate the love.
Sunday, October 11, 2015
gays in church
It's rare for me to go downtown on Saturdays. There is always so much happening out in the 'burbs where I live during the fall that I don't get downtown as much as I used to. When I do, I enjoy downtown Atlanta because I think it's beautiful. I've been living here since ' 97 so this is my home. I love my city.
Yesterday, I had a chance to get downtown to run some errands. As I was sliding down Peachtree Street, I came to a red light. To my left, I noticed the North Avenue Presbyterian Church. I've seen the church thousands of times. You can't miss it because it sits on the corner and is 2 blocks down from the famous, Fox Theater.
What caught my eye wasn't the church...it was the rainbow flags draped on the outside of the church. The sign in front of the church said "WELCOME GAY PRIDE WEEKEND. WORSHIP WITH US"
I thought Gay Pride Weekend was Labor Day weekend...as it is every year. But someone later told me that the Labor Day weekend was BLACK Gay Pride Weekend. I didn't know there was a separate one...but I digress.
Nonetheless, when I saw the flags...I paused for a second. Then I said..."Interesting" out loud to myself while sitting alone in the car. I found it interesting because when you mention the word gay in church...people have a HUGE problem with it. Some "sanctified church folks" will tell you that the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) community has no business in the church because of their "sinful actions".
Welp. Aren't we all sinners? I thought the church was a place where you could "come as you are because all of God's kids are welcome." Maybe it's just me. If they aren't welcomed in church...where are they welcomed???
People have strong opinions about this. Who am I to tell you if they are right or wrong?
I find it all interesting. And it's definitely something to talk about...
Friday, October 9, 2015
PODCAST : 12 vs 27
True friendships are rare.
Friends that become brothers are even more rare
How did two young men meet in college on a football field and become brothers?
Two young men who grew up just 9 miles apart for more than 13 yrs but didn’t know each other until they met at South Carolina State University.
Listen to their story as they talk about various topics spanning from…attending South Carolina State, playing football, being a student athlete, music, college life, playing practical jokes on each other and various topics.
Be prepared to be entertained and be prepared to laugh as they share stories that will crack you up.
co-hosted by Moe
we present to you...
12 vs 27
LISTEN BELOW...
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
12 vs 27 (show preview)
True friendships are rare.
Friends that become brothers are even more rare
How did two young men meet in college on a football field and become brothers?
Two young men who grew up just 9 miles apart for more than 13 yrs but didn’t know each other until they met at South Carolina State University.
Listen to their story as they talk about various topics spanning from…attending South Carolina State, football, being a student athlete, music, life, and various topics.
Be prepared to be entertained and be prepared to laugh as they share stories that will crack you up.
Check out the 12 Radio Show tonight!!
9pm-11pm EST
(347)215-7162
Co-hosted by SloMoetion
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle/2015/10/08/12-vs-27
Monday, October 5, 2015
how to get more done at WORK
here's another article that should help you dedicated workers LOL...
Ever have those workdays when you know by 10 a.m. that you won’t be making it home for dinner? Instead of resolving to work after hours, tap into these seven surprising secrets for boosting your productivity.
1. Work for 52 Minutes, Break for 17
That’s the schedule that super-productive people follow, according to a study conducted by DeskTime, a time-tracking app that monitors your work efficiency. The app analyzed its top 10 percent most productive users and found that on average, they took 17-minute breaks throughout the day.
That aligns with previous research touting the stress-busting benefits of breaks. One Australian study found that employees who took a short walk at lunchtime felt more enthusiastic and more relaxed in the afternoon than those who didn’t head outdoors.
But breaking every 17 minutes all day long isn’t exactly realistic—according to this formula, you’d be on a break for 2 full hours of your day. Consider saving this strategy for when you’re working on something particularly complicated or draining.
Research from Singapore also shows that brief “cyberloafing”—i.e. watching funny YouTube videos—provides an instant recovery from the humdrum of day-to-day work, helping people stay productive for longer amounts of time.
2. Drown Out Chatter with the Right Soundtrack
When you need to churn out work on a tight deadline, the last thing you want to hear is your chatty cube mate shooting the bull.
Putting in earbuds to drown him out seems like the obvious fix, but blasting your favorite tunes can actually be counterproductive. Research in Applied Cognitive Psychology found that listening to pop music with lyrics while performing memory and reading comprehension tests led to lower recall and poorer comprehension than doing the tasks in silence.
But another study from the Acoustical Society of America found that listening to natural sounds, like flowing water, could boost your mood and productivity.
3. Hide Your Phone
Sure, you know that browsing Instagram probably won’t help your work performance. But research from the University of Southern Maine found that simply having your cell phone on your desk distracts you during complex tasks.
Is answering the occasional text really all that bad? Science says yes. In a study at Michigan State University, people who were interrupted from a task for just 2.8 seconds made twice as many mistakes when they returned to it—and a 4.2-second disruption led to three times as many flubs.
4. Find Your Zone
There are certain times of the day where you’re totally in the zone, like after your morning cup of coffee, or maybe right after your lunchtime run. Keeping track of when you’re at your best and capitalizing on that time will help you knock out top to-do list items, says Kathryn McKinnon, Harvard Business School Executive Coach and author of Triple Your Time Today.
“If you’re spending your most productive time of day doing email or other tasks that aren’t your true priorities, you won’t get your best work done,” says McKinnon. Save the important stuff for when your mind is sharp and your energy is high.
5. Break Free from Email
One of McKinnon’s clients was drowning in emails and came to her for help. After assessing the guy’s workday, McKinnon found that he was spending an average of 4 hours a day just on email, and 60 percent of the messages weren’t related to his highest priorities.
It’s 2015—there’s no getting around a digital inbox. But highly productive executives follow the 6-12-6 rule, says McKinnon: They scan their email early in the morning, (6 a.m.), again at lunch (12 p.m.) and at the end of the day (6 p.m.).
If someone has a really pressing message for you, they’ll give you a call or swing by your office. Otherwise, all emails can wait.
6. Get a Head Start on Tomorrow
Prep tomorrow’s to-do list before you head home today, suggests productivity coach Cathy Sexton, founder of TheProductivityExperts.com.
When you’re already in work mode, it’s only going to take you a few minutes to assess what you really need to get done first thing in the morning. So taking an extra 15 minutes at the end of the day to strategize might save you up to an hour tomorrow A.M., says Sexton.
Keep your list organized by splitting it in two: Have a master list with tasks you can complete at a comfortable pace, and a must-do list with no more than three top priority items on it, Sexton suggests.
7. Analyze Your Distractions
Just when you’re making progress on a tricky task, your coworker knocks on your office door. If daily distractions often throw off your workflow, consider the source, says Sexton.
Do an experiment: Every time you’re interrupted, jot down who it was and what it was about. You might find that it’s the same person always interrupting, or the same issue that repeatedly occurs.
In that case, you may be able to nip common problems in the bud before they become distractions, says Sexton.
Saturday, October 3, 2015
PODCAST : hip hop...DEAD and ALIVE
Welcome to another addition of the 12 RADIO SHOW Podcast!!!
On this episode, we talk about various hip hop topics. This is an informative and introspective look at hip hop.
My co-host, Q the 6th Man, and I discuss a wide range of topics from...
How MCs from the Golden Era may feel about today's music and rappers...the Internet and it's influence on hip hop...the difference between rappers and artists...rap's authenticity...why did New York fall off and how did Atlanta take over hip hop...rap's influence of violence and misogyny...gay/transgender rappers...and MUCH MORE!!!
LISTEN BELOW...
Labels:
12 radio,
80s hip hop,
90s hip hop,
Atlanta,
gay,
Golden Era,
hip hop,
hip hop 101,
homosexual,
internet,
new york city,
podcast
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
hip hop...DEAD and ALIVE (12 Radio Show preview)
We're BACK!!! The 12 Radio Show is back on the air!
On this episode, we'll talk about various hip hop topics. Join us for an informative and introspective look at hip hop.
Join host 12kyle and special guest, Q the 6th Man.
If you're a fan of Hip Hop, you DON'T want to miss this show!
Tonight's show will air from 9pm-11pm est.
You can call in (347)215-7162 or
listen online
www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle
Labels:
12 radio,
blog crew,
blog talk radio,
hip hop,
hip hop 101,
Q the 6th Man
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
best advice about MONEY
Here is a pretty good article that I found the other day. You may find it useful...
What secrets about managing money do the rich know that the average person doesn't?
Below are some strategies that helped the rich get rich:
1. Track spending.
Know where your money is going. Look at your bank and credit-card statements every month. You'll uncover certain expenses for things you're not even using, such as club memberships, subscriptions, and automatic charges for services you've never used. Often these automated charges occur after you enroll in some "free" promotion, where the free part expires after a promotional period.
2. Periodically audit expenses.
Many expenses can change over time — like insurance costs. They can go up or down over time. Make sure you are paying the lowest insurance rates for homeowners, auto, and life insurance. Check your health insurance. You could be paying for dependents who left the nest, are on their own, and have coverage through their employer. Cable and internet costs can increase without you being aware of it. Calling your cable or internet provider to secure the lowest fees available should be an annual process.
Periodically shop cellphone plans. Increased competition in the cellphone industry is driving down monthly rates. Make sure you aren't paying more than you have to.
3. Purchase good quality used cars.
New cars lose value as soon as they come off the lot. Buying good quality used cars allows you to take advantage of this loss in value anomaly prevalent in the auto industry. Forty-four percent of the rich in my study purchased good quality used cars.
Typically these are cars coming off a lease. They may be two or three years old. At 125,000 miles, most cars will require some annual repairs. Expect to incur about $1,500 a year in repair costs when you hold on to cars beyond this 125,000-mileage mark.
That is still significantly less than you'd spend on a loan or lease for a new car.
4. Use coupons.
Even the wealthy in my study engaged in this money-savings habit. Thirty percent of the rich used coupons to buy food. Why pay more than you have to on groceries or other expenses?
5. Keep your housing costs below 30% of your monthly net pay.
Contrary to what you've been led to believe, most of the rich don't live in McMansions. Sixty-four percent of the rich in my study live in modest homes.
6. Bargain shop.
Far too many make spontaneous purchases, paying more than they otherwise would. That's a Poverty Habit. Shopping for bargains and taking advantage of sales events is a Rich Habit.
7. Take advantage of credit-card reward dollars.
Many credit cards have rewards programs attached to them. Typically, these rewards programs generate reward dollars that you can use at participating vendors. For example, the American Express reward program gives you about .88% back on every dollar you spend using an American Express credit card.
One of the participating vendors with American Express is Barnes and Noble, and 50,000 American Express Rewards Dollars translates into $500 in Barnes and Noble gift cards. You can buy 20 $25 Barnes and Noble gift cards and give them out as gifts for occasions like birthdays and holidays, and it'll cost you nothing.
8. Establish savings goals.
The rich make a habit of allocating their savings into different buckets, or categories. In order to do this, you need to establish an overall amount of savings you're willing to set aside each month.
For example, if you decide to set aside 10% of your monthly income, you might allocate 5% into your retirement bucket, 2% into your specific expense bucket, 1.5% into your unexpected expense bucket, and 1.5% into your cyclical expense bucket.
9. Automate the savings process.
This is where the rubber meets the road: implementation. Automatically direct each of the above savings amounts into each bucket's separate account via automatic withdrawal from your net pay or from your bank account. Automating your savings forces you to live below your means because you save first and spend what's left.
Money management is a process. Accumulating wealth is a process. It's all one big process this thing we call financial success.
But if you don't have a process or adopt good money habits, like the rich in my study, you will never be able to save. It just won't happen.
When you develop good money habits, you feel like you are finally in control of your life. It's empowering and it will increase your wealth over time. Keep in mind that it took most of the wealthy in my study 32 years to become rich. Accumulating wealth takes time and discipline.
Saturday, September 26, 2015
PODCAST : Childhood Memories
RETRO SHOW!!!
Thanks for checking out another edition of the 12 Radio Show. On this episode, I’m joined by the usual suspects…Rashan Jamal and eclectik.
This episode was recorded nearly 3 yrs ago (8/29/12) but it’s as entertaining as a recent show. We kick it and reminisce about childhood and growing up in the 80s.
We present to you...Childhood Memories!!!
LISTEN BELOW
Saturday, September 19, 2015
PODCAST : theRandoms
On this episode of the 12 Radio Show, I’m joined by my homie, eclectik. The concept of this episode came about when I asked him to join me for a show.
He agreed.
He said “what are we going to talk about?”
My response…”I’m not going to tell you!!!”
Unlike any of the other episodes of the 12 Radio Show, he has NO IDEA what I’m going to ask him. The only thing that he knows is that it will be a ton of random, off the wall questions! The questions aren’t meant to “stump” him…or you…the listener…but they are questions that make you think! The questions are wide ranging and speak to your personality and thoughts. To his credit, eclectik did a phenomenal job.
Check us out and tell me what you think. We present…theRandoms
LISTEN BELOW...
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
theRandoms (12 Radio Show preview)
We're back!!!
Me & eclectik
You NEVER know what will be said when we get together to do a show.
Well...eclectik doesn't...
I've got a list of random, off the wall, entertaining, comical, probing questions that I will ask him but he has NO clue about what these questions are.
Be sure to follow on twitter and facebook because we'll be posting the questions there and you'll want to answer them
Join us tonight from 9pm-11pm EST for theRandoms!!!
(347)215-7162
www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
5 details you shouldn't give Facebook
Here is some information that I came across a few days ago...
The whole point of Facebook is to share your life with other people. You probably have more than a few friends who fall into the over-sharing category. But don’t snicker. You may be one, too, and not even know it.
Here are five personal tidbits Facebook asks you to share that you’re much better off keeping to yourself.
1. Your phone number
It's a really bad idea to add your home or cellphone number to your Facebook page. Prank callers, stalkers, scammers and identity thieves would love to use this information against you.
Not only that, but there’s a Facebook trick that works pretty much most of the time. Anyone can use your phone number to search and find your Facebook page.
One security researcher, Reza Moaiandin, took it a step further and found he didn't even need to know a specific phone number. He wrote a program to generate every possible number in the U.S., U.K. and Canada, submitted the numbers to Facebook and got back information from millions of profiles that had poor privacy settings. If he had wanted to, he could have turned around and sold the information on the black market to hackers who build and sell "fullz," or packages of identity information.
If you do give your phone number to Facebook, be sure to hide it in your profile.
Go to Facebook and click on your name at the top of the page. When your profile page loads, click the "Update Info" button in the lower-right corner of your cover image. Go to "Contact and Basic Info" in the left column and next to your phone number click the "Edit" link.
Click the "audience selector" icon, which will either be a globe or a silhouette of two people or a lock. If you see the lock, you don’t have to do anything. But if you see the globe or silhouette, change it to "Only me." Now no one can see your phone number, and it won't show up in searches.
2. Your home address
Post a picture of your recent vacation or major new purchase and this puts you at risk. Think for a moment of all the terrible things that might happen if some nefarious person knew your home address. Remove it from your Facebook profile.
Follow the directions in the last section to get into the "Contact and Basic Info" section of your profile information. Look for "Neighborhood," and if there's an address there, click the "Edit" link next to it and wipe out the information. Then click "Save Changes."
One other place you might find your address is under events. If you create an event, it will likely have your address, so people know where to go. If that accidentally gets set to Public, then anyone can see it.
Either delete the event right after it happens, or tell people who are coming to message you for the address. Be sure to check back through your history to get rid of any old events or posts that have your address in them.
3. Anything work-related
Try not to leave any information on Facebook that reveals where you work. If someone from your workplace tries to search for employees on Facebook, she might find a post or photo she doesn’t like.
Similarly, if a hacker wanted to figure out whom to target if he wanted to break into your workplace's computers, social media would be his first stop. Of course, hackers are more likely to hit LinkedIn first.
Bonus tip: If you're worried about coworkers or employers creeping on your Facebook profile, then change these three basic features.
Again, you can use Facebook's timeline tools to do a scan of your past posts. Remove any information about your current job, especially if it's of a complaining nature. If you have posts about previous jobs, you might want to remove those as well. A current coworker or supervisor you decide to friend might see them and it could color her opinion of you.
4. Your relationship status
Including your relationship status on your Facebook page just invites awkwardness. The number of "likes" that you might get from people after you change your status from "married" to "it's complicated" will creep you out.
Certain relationship statuses are also a draw for cyberstalkers. At one point, there even was a Facebook app that would notify you if friends you flagged changed their relationship status to "single."
Don't forget the scammers out there who specialize in sweetheart scams. They use social media, email and dating sites to create a romantic connection with you and then swindle you out of money. You don't want them to see that you're single on Facebook and get ideas. It's easier just to remove your relationship status entirely.
5. Your payment information
Facebook is free, but it still wants your credit card number. Adding your financial information lets you buy gift cards and other products straight through the website. How convenient!
Of course, one of the best ways to accidentally get your credit card charged for something is to leave your Facebook profile open on your home computer. A small family member or a "joking" friend at your home could use it to spend money on something straight through Facebook. You don't want that to happen, do you?
Open your Facebook, click the upside-down triangle in the top right corner and choose "Settings." In the left column select "Payments," and then on the right go the "Account Settings" tab. You can see if you have any saved payment information and remove it.
This also keeps it out of the hands of any hackers who break into your Facebook profile.
This also keeps it out of the hands of any hackers who break into your Facebook profile.
Labels:
facebook,
information,
security,
social media,
social network,
work
Saturday, September 5, 2015
PODCAST : 17 yrs old
PODCAST - 17 yrs old
On this edition of the 12 Radio Show, we take a look back. We remember our lives at 17 yrs old. While it may be hard for some of you to remember back that far...we do a pretty good job on this podcast.
We take a look back at our world at 17. My co-hosts, LMarie and Ieisha, join me for 2 hours of fun!
Find out who was madly in love at 17...
Find out who viewed themselves as "delusional"...
Find out who spent $300 on a jacket then spilled bleach on it...
Rock with us for another edition of the 12 Radio Show...
LISTEN BELOW...
Labels:
12 radio,
17 yrs old,
adulthood,
childhood,
Ieisha,
life and times of KD,
LMarie
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
17 yrs old (12 Radio Show preview)
*We could not do this show two weeks ago due to technical difficulties with blog talk radio...but we are BACK tonight..*
Remember when you were 17 years old?
I think we saw the world and ourselves differently at the age of 17.
We were no longer kids but we had yet to step into adulthood.
On this week's show, we'll take a look back at the 17 year old you. We'll ask questions to you and the audience about being 17 years old.
co-hosted by the ladies from the Soul Survivors Crew...LMarie, Ieisha, and Samantha.
9pm-11pm EST
(347)215-7162
Labels:
blog talk radio,
bloggers,
life and times of KD,
teenagers
Monday, August 31, 2015
Overcoming Family Financial Habits
While doing some reading on finances, I came across this article. I think you might get something from it.
Whether you realize it or not, your parents likely had a major influence on your financial habits. Studies, including the recently published
"Habit Formation and Learning in Young Children," show that the ideas about money you pick up during childhood tend to stick with you for life, whether you grow up just like mom and dad or have made choices in reaction to them.
"Most of our beliefs and habits take shape well before the age of 12, and that includes money habits," says Keith Whitaker, Senior Family Dynamics Consultant with Abbot Downing. "Most people may not want to believe that, but they know in their heart that it's true."
If your parents didn't talk about money, for example, you also probably feel uncomfortable when the subject comes up. If your family was always trying to keep up with the Joneses, you may equate money with success, and you may feel like you can never have enough.
If you strongly disagreed with your parents' financial habits, you may have reacted by choosing to take the opposite approach. But that too can be harmful when taken to extremes. For example, some people who grew up poor, or whose parents were extreme penny-pinchers, hated feeling deprived, so they may spoil their own children by giving them too much.
- Potential harmful money habits you may have picked up from your parents include:
- Overspending to show love
- Extreme penny-pinching
- Believing that money is the cause of world problems
- Equating money with success and happiness
- Associating money with personal conflict
- Reluctance to talk about money
Whatever your money baggage, fortunately, you aren't stuck with it forever. "It is possible to change," Whitaker says, "but it takes a lot of work." He recommends these five steps:
- Reflect on your behaviors and feelings about money. Think back to your childhood and your parents' attitudes about money. Were they constantly fighting over money? Did they overspend and go into debt? Or were they extremely frugal? Try to recognize both the positive and negative lessons you learned from your parents, and how they affected your beliefs and feelings about money. "The first step in changing bad financial habits is becoming aware of your deep-seated beliefs about money and where they come from," Whitaker says.
- Focus forward and don't blame. While it's important to recognize your parents' influence, it's equally important not to assign blame, Whitaker says. "Blaming others won't help you move forward," he says. "Try to empathize with your parents and accept that they probably did the best they could do and, like all of us, they had their limitations. Show yourself grace, too."
- Clarify your goals. After you identify any bad financial habits that come from your upbringing, make a conscious decision to change. "Ask yourself, 'What are some other ways I can act?'" Whitaker says. If you tend to spoil your spouse and your children with monetary gifts, commit to spending time and having experiences with them instead. "Maybe you suddenly realize that you've been spending all this money on your child, but he's acting like a spoiled brat," Whitaker says. "It may be time to stop giving materially and start giving emotionally."
- Break big changes into small steps. Rather than trying to change all at once, commit to taking a series of small steps in the right direction, Whitaker advises. If you're reluctant to create a budget with your spouse because your parents fought about money, start with one small piece of a budget. "Maybe you can do a better job of tracking your spending on just one type of expense, or saving for something specific," Whitaker says. "Instead of taking it all on at once, take on a manageable piece." If sharing specific numbers — such as the size of your estate — makes you queasy, you can start by talking about your estate in a more general way, without the dollar signs.
- Get help. Connect with people who can help you talk through your money issues and help hold you accountable. Friends, professional colleagues, counselors, or members of shared interest groups can help reinforce your desired behaviors and give constructive, positive feedback. And, of course, your relationship manager is probably your best resource on making good financial decisions. "As hard as it is, you can do something about your beliefs and your behaviors," Whitaker says. "I've seen it happen."
Labels:
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Wednesday, August 26, 2015
hip hop vol 4
We're BACK!!!
The 12 Radio Show is back on the air! On this episode, we'll talk about various hip hop topics. Join us for an informative and introspective look at hip hop.
Join host 12kyle and special guest, Q the 6th Man. If you're a fan of Hip Hop, you DON'T want to miss this show!
Tonight's show will air from 9pm-11pm est.
You can call in (347)215-7162 or
listen online
www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle
Monday, August 24, 2015
Beautillion Scholar
My name is Deion Dowling, son of Kyle and Sherice Dowling. I have been selected to participate in the 2015-16 Cotillion~Beautillion, sponsored by the Gwinnett County Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. and the Fortitude Foundation, Inc.
I am a junior attending Arabia Mountain High School in Lithonia, Georgia. I am a member of the Marching Rams Band, Debate Team and Future Farmers of America (FFA).
As a Cotillion~Beautillion participant, I have the opportunity to receive a scholarship for college based on the amount of funds that I raise. This program will assist in my personal growth through cultural activities, social etiquette, leadership and career development. The program culminates with a ball, March 5, 2016. I consider it an honor that I will be involved in such a worthwhile learning experience.
The donation deadline is March 1, 2016
Please visit the link below. Please share with your friends and family. Thank you for your support!
http://www.gofundme.com/un24uvrc
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
17 yrs old (12 Radio Show preview)
Remember when you were 17 years old?
I think we saw the world and ourselves differently at the age of 17.
We were no longer kids but we had yet to step into adulthood.
On this week's show, we'll take a look back at the 17 year old you. We'll ask questions to you and the audience about being 17 years old.
co-hosted by the ladies from the Soul Survivors Crew...LMarie, Ieisha, and Samantha.
9pm-11pm EST
(347)215-7162
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle/2015/08/20/17-yrs-old
Labels:
12 radio,
17 yrs old,
blog crew,
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