the struggle

Trapped in the struggle between the head and the heart

First time in this place...and I'm not sure where to start

I've been overcome with feelings that continue to grow

I tried to hide them but now it's impossible for it not to show

The fellas told me that I would soon fall

Headed for a relationship where I'd have to give it my all

Am I ready to truly to be a one woman man?

I thought the objective was to get as many women as you can?

But she's different. Funny and mad cool. Very different from the others

Kind, warm, and gentle...my kinda lover

But I'm ready to take that next step to be her man?

To be involved with a woman who expects me to give her all that i can

I don't know if that's me. Is that what I'm supposed to be?

But I can't seem to shake the way she makes me feel. It's strange

Heart racing...sweaty palms...loss of breath. Maybe I'm going insane

I don't know why this choice is so tough for me

I'm changing inside and out. But it's something I can't see

No, I'm not ready

Me? Going steady?

It's tough because I don't want to give her the bad news

And her smile and friendship I don't want to lose

Maybe I should do it. It can't be that bad

It beats the hell out of walking around looking sad.

So what should I do?

Shit...I wish I knew...

vday

repost from 2010...


Valentine's Day!

Is it a holiday for lovers?

Is it a holiday for suckers?

You be the judge...

Valentine's Day is the holiday for love. Holiday? When did it become a holiday? My first memory of Valentine's came when I was in the 3rd grade. I had to give candy to my classmates (including the dudes) and exchange cards with the girls. Ironically, I had 2 special cards that were gonna go to my 2 Valentines...Catina & Carolyn, who were best friends...LOL.

Back then, Valentine's Day was fun because you would find out the girls in your class who liked you.

Nowadays, Valentine's Day ain't the same.

I mean, there is still a girl in my life who gets a card. And my mom still gets a card.

But society has commercialized the day so much that people who don't have Valentine's are made to feel bad.

Maybe we're just too old now and things ain't what they used to be.

Or maybe...people have turned something that used to be special into a money makin' venture.

Lovers or suckaz? I dunno.

Enjoy the "holiday" folks. LOL

veeeeday

Valentine's Day!

Is it a holiday for lovers?

Is it a holiday for suckers?

You be the judge...

Valentine's Day is the holiday for love. Holiday? When did it become a holiday? My first memory of Valentine's came when I was in the 3rd grade. I had to give candy to my classmates (including the dudes) and exchange cards with the girls. Ironically, I had 2 special cards that were gonna go to my 2 Valentines...Catina & Carolyn, who were best friends...LOL.

Back then, Valentine's Day was fun because you would find out the girls in your class who liked you.


Nowadays, Valentine's Day ain't the same.



I mean, there is still a girl in my life who gets a card. And my mom still gets a card.

But society has commercialized the day so much that people who don't have Valentine's are made to feel bad.

Maybe we're just too old now and things ain't what they used to be.

Or maybe...people have turned something that used to be special into a money makin' venture.

Lovers or suckaz? I dunno.

Enjoy the "holiday" folks. LOL

from me 2 u

Wow

I really don't know what to say. Nor do I know where to start.

Well...let me start by saying thank you. Although I'm not a guy that can spit out 5 Bible verses off the top of my head, I do consider myself to be very spiritual. I want to thank YOU for bringing me this far. There were days when my mind wandered and I was unsure how I was gonna make it. But YOU brought me through it...Thank YOU!

I remember the days when I dreaded going to work. I mean, I really didn't like the job. Not only was I overworked but I was underpaid. I wanted to really complain about the job but how could I? In a time when 600,000 people have lost their jobs. How could I complain about mine? I never brought my frustrations to the 12th Planet b/c I never wanted to change the vibe of this blog. I vented...but I wouldn't complain. Instead, I took the advice that I had passed along to so many of you who read this blog..."pray, trust God, have faith, and believe." It's funny how I could advise others to do it when I couldn't completely do it myself. But then I did. I prayed for that new job that I wanted to come. YOU listened. And I got it! Thank YOU!

On February 20, I walked into my office (on my day off) and quit the old job. There was no need for a 2 week notice b/c I was done with them. I had given them enough. I felt free. Not only did I have a new job but it involved doing something that I loved doing. Not to mention, the pay is a whoooole lot better than before. I've often heard the saying that "God has a sense of humor". Well, YOU must have laughed when you answered my prayer because you've given me what I wanted but this job will take me away from home for days at a time...like I am right now. I'm cool with traveling but I'd much rather be at home with my family. But I guess that's why they say "be specific when you pray". LOL. But it's cool. Thank YOU!

I also have to thank someone else. A good friend of mine. In fact, we've never spoken over the phone but we talk every day. Thanks to Keisha the Kitten. Two months ago, you emailed me and told me that this day would come. You said that I'd land my job and I'd write a testimony. Well...here's the testimony as to how good HE is. Can I get an amen?

This is about more than YOU getting this job for me. It's about my spiritual growth. It's about the dude who has only missed 3 Sunday services this year. More importantly, it's about the empty feeling that I had when I didn't go. I used to go...just to say that I went. Now, I'm getting something out of it. But don't get it twisted...ole Kyle ain't no saint. I'm a sinner just like everybody else. But I'm trying to become better. I've always done the right things when it came to my sons, wife, family, crew, and friends. That won't ever change. I'm still a work in progress. We all are. Each day we get another opportunity to become better. And for that...we are extremely thankful. Amen

Your humble servant
Kyle