PODCAST: there's a war going on outside...

"There's a war going on outside, no man is safe from..." - Prodigy from Mobb Deep

Those words eloquently and painfully describe where we are in this country. On the latest podcast, we take a look at the recent police shootings, the Black Lives Matter movement, race relations, agendas, and solutions. We hold the mirror in front of your face and ask you to think.

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the black quarterback...

I remember the era of football when black quarterbacks were referred to as "black quarterbacks". Thankfully, we've moved past that era. But this new wave of quarterbacks will face many challenges...

Here is a pretty interesting read from William (Bill) Rhoden of the New York Times.

NFL protects the pocket as black quarterbacks transcend it

William Rhoden

New York Times

A reporter called recently and said he wanted to talk about a golden era of the black quarterback. A record nine African-Americans started at quarterback in Week 1 of the N.F.L. season, signaling to some that this was the beginning of a dynamic new day in the N.F.L.

But calling attention to “golden eras” for blacks in sports has had mixed results. There once was a golden era of black jockeys, which ended at the turn of the 20th century when they were squeezed out of racing. The golden era of blacks in organized baseball ended in the late 19th century, with blacks banished until 1947. And a similar gentlemen’s agreement froze blacks out of professional football from the early 1930s until 1946.

Indeed, shortly after Jason McIntyre’s article appeared on the Web site thebiglead.com, the ranks of black starting quarterbacks in the N.F.L. shrank by one. On Wednesday, Tampa Bay Coach Greg Schiano announced that Josh Freeman, the Buccaneers’ first-round pick in 2009 and their starter since that season, would be replaced on Sunday by the rookie Mike Glennon, a 6-foot-7, 225-pound pocket passer.

The former N.F.L. coach Tony Dungy said the move would have created an outcry a decade ago.

“Is this racially motivated?” said Dungy, now an analyst for NBC. “If he were white, would they be sticking with him longer? Would they have gotten more weapons around him?”

Dungy once coached the Buccaneers and later led the Indianapolis Colts to a Super Bowl victory. He said what happened to Freeman was less about race and more about politics.

“I think the Freeman case is really just a case of Football 101,” Dungy said. “New coach comes in, he didn’t draft Freeman, he doesn’t like some things about him; maybe he isn’t his guy and he prefers to start out with his guy.”

Schiano tried to recruit Glennon to Rutgers when he coached there, drafted him for Tampa Bay and is choosing to sink or swim with him. But Tampa Bay lost to the Arizona Cardinals, 13-10, on Sunday to fall to 0-4.

Dungy said he believed that racism had significantly disappeared from quarterback selection in the N.F.L., largely because coaches are desperate to win. The larger issue is how, for all of the talk about golden ages, the pro football establishment has resisted a revolutionary style of play emerging from the quarterback position.

“It’s not as much a black-white issue as it is an unwillingness to trust in quarterbacks who don’t conform to the traditional idea of what a quarterback is,” Dungy said. “If you are not 6-5, 230, you better have something really fantastic and special that people can hang their hat on. Because they don’t want to go out on a limb with what’s not prototypical.”

Defenders continue to become larger and more lethal, capable of delivering violence from any point on a field. The statuelike pocket passer is becoming an endangered species. The logical antidote would be a quarterback who could run as well as pass, putting defenses back on their heels. Instead, the N.F.L. has put in rules to protect quarterbacks in the pocket while allowing defenders to annihilate those who dare to venture out of it.

This is what the current crop of black quarterbacks — Michael Vick, Cam Newton, Robert Griffin III, Russell Wilson, Colin Kaepernick, Geno Smith, Terrelle Pryor, E J Manuel and Freeman — is up against in the so-called golden age. The wide-open, freewheeling play associated with many black quarterbacks — and adopted by white players like Tim Tebow — is largely shunned by the football establishment.

Everyone is for the versatile quarterback in theory. But at the moment of truth, franchises routinely retreat into the pocket.

“I think we have gotten over the black-white issue,” Dungy said. “I think that most owners, general managers, even fans are past that. But it is still the perception of what the quarterback is, and what everybody’s looking for and what wins in the National Football League.

“You have to fight that, whether you’re Robert Griffin or Johnny Manziel, that is still going to be there. That’s what we have to overcome.”

I was pulling for Tebow. If a white, athletic quarterback became wildly successful, a mold would be created. Instead, Tebow was treated the way black quarterbacks used to be treated, and he is out of the league, three years after entering it.

“Johnny Manziel is the next hope,” Dungy said, referring to Texas A&M’s Heisman Trophy winner. “Manziel is going to be the test case, no question about it.”

The greatest and most persistent obstacle to acceptance is the news media’s reluctance to expand its vocabulary of praise to include this new generation of African-American quarterbacks.

“It’s hard for the general American media to portray that and hard for people to accept it,” Dungy said. “You look at Russell Wilson, and why is he successful and why is he better than everybody thought? It’s because he’s sharp, he’s on top of things, he’s a leader. Pete Carroll said he took over from Day 1. But nobody wants to say that, nobody will tell you how smart and how great a leader this kid is.”

Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Aaron Rodgers and even Philip Rivers are routinely referred to as brilliant strategists, coordinators on the field — geniuses. Andrew Luck, the Colts’ second-year quarterback, is already being referred to as a great field general in the Manning mode. Wilson and R. G. III, for example, are largely described in relationship to their amazing physical skills: strong arms, speed, quickness and versatility.

“It’s just not seen that way,” Dungy said. “Part of Robert Griffin’s brilliance is his leadership and guys following him. And he is smart, but we can only look at the fact that he runs a 4.3 and has a strong arm.”

Dungy played quarterback at Minnesota but switched to defensive back in the N.F.L., where he played for Pittsburgh and San Francisco. He was heartened when the Washington Redskins drafted Griffin.

“Maybe we are ready to look at guys who win and lead, who are exceptional and exciting and put points on the board,” Dungy said. “That still is the bottom line.”

I wonder. Or is the new bottom line creating stars with whom the majority of fans can identify? Is that partly why Schiano made the switch for Week 4? Or is it a combination of the two? From Randall Cunningham to Donovan McNabb to Vick, versatile, highly athletic quarterbacks have had marvelous success in the N.F.L.

“We’ve had that, but I think in people’s minds, ‘O.K., it’s an aberration,’ ” Dungy said. “They say: ‘O.K., you can be successful, you can make some highlight plays and go to Pro Bowls. But you can’t win a championship.’ I think it will take winning a championship to legitimize this style in a lot of people’s minds.”

Until then, the so-called golden age will remain fragile.

Trayvon Martin vs George Zimmerman...12 RADIO SHOW

The verdict came on this past Saturday night.

I wanted to talk about it and what I was feeling. But I could not find the words. I had planned to do a blog about it. Then, I thought of something better.

Tonight on the 12 RADIO SHOW

Trayvon Martin vs George Zimmerman (a look at the trial and the fallout from the verdict)

9pm EST - 11pm EST

(347)215-7162  (Call in and join the conversation! If you have something that you want to say, call the show and get it off your chest)

co-hosted by Krishna & Tiff Jones

www.blogtalkradio.com/12kyle

whatisee

Funny thing happened to me yesterday

I was in the local CVS (pharmacy) and I was waiting in the line so that I could purchase my chewing gum.

There was a gray haired, elderly white woman who was purchasing a few items. She was having a conversation with the cashier. Once she had made her purchase, she seemed to be struggling with the multiple bags that she had as she walked toward the door.

There was a young black man who was standing near the door. The dude was about 19 yrs old. He had his hat turned to the back, saggy pants, and both arms were covered with tattoos. At first glance, he looked like he could pass for a wannabe rapper. With the gold teeth in his mouth, he fit just about every stereotype that you could think of.

As the old white woman walked closer toward the door. He walked towards her. His eyes were fixed on her and the bags in her hand.

Was he gonna rob this old lady and run?

The black kid open his mouth and said...

"Hello ma'am. Do you need some help with your bags? Let me take them to your car."

The woman didn't flinch. She handed the bags to him. He took them and then opened the door for her.

I watched from inside the store as they walked to her car and he placed them in her car. She thanked him. He took off his hat as if to say "you're welcome". He pulled up his saggy pants and walked away as she drove off.

That scene that I had just witnessed reminded me of something that I had learned...never judge people. Let them show you who they are before you formulate an opinion about them.

(RIP Trayvon Martin)

ahitdogwillholler

I know black people.

I know white people.

I have black friends.

I have white friends.

I'm black.

But I guess you may have already known that. I'm always open to a discussion of race. I am selective with whom I get into these discussions because some people can't seem to get pass their own agenda to listen to anyone else. The subject of race came up this week after Sunday night's airing of "The Fab Five", a basketball documentary on the University of Michigan's 5 highly heralded freshman, on ESPN. The documentary covered the lives of the Fab 5...Chris Webber, Jalen Rose (executive producer of the documentary), Ray Jackson, Jimmy King, and Juwan Howard. The piece was impressive and it hit close to home for me because we all graduated in the same high school year (1991). We played different sports but I knew who they were.

During the documentary, the guys were asked their opinions on Duke. It should be noted that the Fab 5 never beat Duke. They lost 2 regular season games and a national championship game to them. When asked about Duke, Jalen Rose said...

"I hated Duke and I hated everything Duke stood for. Schools like Duke didn't recruit players like me. I felt like they only recruited black players that were Uncle Toms,"

Boom! When he said it, twitter exploded. Some were sending tweets of disbelief. Others were sending tweets in agreement. When they asked Jimmy King what he thought of Duke star Grant Hill..."I thought he was a bitch". Jalen also called Duke All American Christan Laettner "an overrated pussy".

Pow! Shots fired.

I will be the first to admit that those were a bad choice of words. Jalen went on to explain that he didn't feel that way today. That was how he felt as an 18 yr old kid. Jalen, a hoopster from the inner city of Detroit, knew that a school like Duke wouldn't recruit him because they don't normally recruit black kids from the inner city...and even fewer that don't come from 2 parent household. Instead of being bitter, he used this as fuel to motivate himself.

Grant Hill took offense to what was said. He took the time to post a BLOG on the NY Times website...

"In his garbled but sweeping comment that Duke recruits only 'black players that were 'Uncle Toms,' Jalen seems to change the usual meaning of those very vitriolic words into his own meaning, i.e., blacks from two-parent, middle-class families. He leaves us all guessing exactly what he believes today. I am beyond fortunate to have two parents who are still working well into their 60s. They received great educations and use them every day. My parents taught me a personal ethic I try to live by and pass on to my children...My teammates at Duke -- all of them, black and white -- were a band of brothers who came together to play at the highest level for the best coach in basketball. I know most of the black players who preceded and followed me at Duke. They all contribute to our tradition of excellence on the court..It is insulting and ignorant to suggest that men like Johnny Dawkins (coach at Stanford), Tommy Amaker (coach at Harvard), Billy King (general manager of the Nets), Tony Lang (coach of the Mitsubishi Diamond Dolphins in Japan), Thomas Hill (small-business owner in Texas), Jeff Capel (former coach at Oklahoma and Virginia Commonwealth), Kenny Blakeney (assistant coach at Harvard), Jay Williams (ESPN analyst), Shane Battier (Memphis Grizzlies) and Chris Duhon (Orlando Magic) ever sold out their race."

I'm a fan of Grant Hill's. Always have been. Always will be. Even when he played at Duke he seemed like a cool brutha. I've always heard great things about him. I mean...he impressed me when he went on David Letterman back in the day and played "Tender Love" on the piano.

Hole up *Jay Z voice*

Did you REALLY feel the need to respond Grant? C'mon son! Jalen said he felt that way at 18 and you wrote a diatribe like he called you an Uncle Tom yesterday! Please! I'm surprised that you took the bait. I'm not saying that what Jalen said was true. It was a bad choice of words...even for an 18 yr old. As a people, we SHOULD want the best for our kids. Duke is a great school. My best friend graduated from Duke and trust me...she's no elitist. If my sons can go to Duke, then that's where they'll go. HOWEVER, Grant sounded like a sucker. There was no need to defend yourself, your heritage, and your people. Maybe he missed the part where Jalen said he wanted to BE like Grant Hill. I'm beginning to wonder if Grant even watched the documentary. And did you feel the need to "status drop" and let the world know what your former teammates were doing? That's bitchmade right there! Who cares where these guys work?

I'll say this...I don't think Grant Hill is an Uncle Tom. When a BLACK man throws out that term, there is usually two people who get offended...white people (b/c they think you're talking about their friend) and black people who ARE Uncle Toms. Much like the N word, Uncle Tom is not a word that I use nor will you see on this blog. Do Uncle Tom's exist? Hell yeah! I went to school with a few. I've worked with a few. I live in Atlanta and I can throw a rock and hit a few. I just think this was a bit much and it took away from a very good documentary. Grant Hill is mad about something that was THOUGHT 20 yrs ago. I can't even begin to tell you what my thought process was 20 yrs ago. It comes down to this...it ain't what people call you...but it's what you will answer to...

I didn't see a blog from Laettner

Grant...I'm not calling you an Uncle Tom or a bitch...but this blog don't help.

A hit dog will holler.

grey skies/12 Radio

Asian.

White.

Black.

Hispanic.

Do race and ethnicity matter when it comes to marriage?

Apparently, race is mattering less these days, say researchers at the Pew Research Center, who report that nearly one out of seven new marriages in the U.S. is interracial or interethnic. The report, which interviewed couples married for less than a year, found racial lines are blurring as more people choose to marry outside their race.

"From what we can tell, this is the highest [percentage of interracial marriage] it has ever been," said Jeffrey Passel, a senior demographer for the Pew Research Center.

He said interracial marriages have soared since the 1980s. About 6.8 percent of newly married couples reported marrying outside their race or ethnicity in 1980. That figure jumped to about 14.6 percent in the Pew report released this week, which surveyed newlyweds in 2008.

However, studies show that support for interracial marriages is stronger than in the past, especially among the Millennial generation. Among 18- to 29-year-olds, about 85 percent accept interracial marriages, according to a Pew study published in February. Scholars say interracial marriages are important to examine because they can be a barometer for race relations and cultural assimilation.

The Pew Center study found that marrying outside of one's race or ethnicity is most common among Asians and Hispanics, two immigrant groups that have grown tremendously. About 30 percent of Asian newlyweds in the study married outside of their race, and about a quarter of Hispanic newlyweds reported marrying someone of another race.

The African-American population also saw increases in interracial marriage, with the number of blacks participating in such marriages roughly tripling since 1980, the study said. About 16 percent of African-Americans overall are in an interracial marriage, but researchers point out a gender difference: It's more common for black men to marry outside of their race than for black women.

The gender difference was the reverse in the Asian population surveyed. Twice as many newlywed Asian women, about 40 percent, were married outside their race, compared with Asian men, at about 20 percent.

"We are seeing an increasingly multiracial and multiethnic country," said Andrew Cherlin, professor of public policy and sociology at Johns Hopkins University. "The change in our population is bringing more people into contact with others who aren't like them."

The Pew Center also found education and residency affected whether people married interracially, with college-educated adults being more likely to do so. More people who live in the West marry outside their race than do people in the Midwest and South, the survey found.

Tune in to tonight's show. Topic...Dating 103 - Interracial Dating and other dating issues of 2010. Co-hosted by MzInspiredMind

9pm est

(347) 215 -7162

show link...http://bit.ly/c2561O

effdapolice

F**k the police comin straight from the underground
A young n**ga got it bad cause I'm brown
And not the other color so police think
they have the authority to kill a minority
F**k that s**t, cause I ain't the one
for a punk motherf***er with a badge and a gun
to be beatin on, and thrown in jail
We can go toe to toe in the middle of a cell

Ice Cube (F**k tha Police)

I was reading my boy Crecks post about his recent run in with the boys in blue. It's unfortunate that it happened to him. It's even more unfortunate that it happened...at all! His post made me think about all the times that I've been pulled over for NO reason. It's been at LEAST 10 times. I know it happened at LEAST4 times when I was living in Cobb County (NW Atlanta suburb). I remember being pulled over and the officer asking me "why did I have my hat on backwards?" Another time, I had my car (Nissan Sentra) searched and the officer asked me if I had any drugs or guns on me? No officer...I left em at my apartment with the prostitutes and prescription meds. After reading his post, I decided to repost a blog that I wrote in 2008...


Let me start by saying that I don't like cops. I hate to generalize it but I don't like em. I don't feel safe around them, they've never been around when I've needed them, and I haven't met one nice cop. That said...here's my story

I was in New Orleans about 10 years ago on a business trip. My co-worker and I decided to go to Bourbon Street. If you've ever been to N.O. you know that ANYTHING goes on Bourbon Street. We hung out and had a good time and then decided to head back to our hotel. Before we got in the car, my co-worker, who is white, was complaining about his feet that were sore from walking. When we got in the car, he decides to take his shoes off to "rest his dogs." As he was bending over to remove his shoes, I see a police car behind us that throws on the blue lights. We were only a block away from Bourbon Street and we weren't drunk so I dunno why we were being pulled over. The cops get out with their GUNS DRAWN!!! They are yelling at us to get outta the car. They make us stand in front of the running car with our hands on the hood of the car. Apparently, there must be some law about a young black dude and a white dude hangin together...because they thought we had drugs on us. They asked my co-worker why was he bending over...was he trying to hide some drugs? Drugs? You could get ANY drug that you wanted just a block away on Bourbon Street!!!

When my co-worker advised him that he was removing his shoe (as evidence he pointed to his untied shoes), they threatened us. It was a black cop and a white cop. The black cop said "why are you two together?" We explained but the didn't listen. They proceeded to search my car (illegally). We asked could we take our hands off the HOT hood of the car. The black cop said "No. And you better not run. If you move, I'll put a bullet in your back!!" I couldn't believe it. I looked at the white cop and he was cool. He was the one who called off the black cop from going through my trunk and suitcase. My co-worker and I gathered our composure and got back in the car. We were furious and stunned!! We just sat there for about 5 mins before we left. We drove up the street and the SAME cops had pulled over a car full of Mexicans. Wow! I wonder what rule did they break? F@#% the police!

speak on it

some mc's be talkin' and talkin'
tryin' to show how black people are walkin
but I don't walk this way to portray
or reinforce stereotypes of today
like all my brothas eat chicken and watermelon
talk broken english and drug sellin'
See I'm tellin, and teaching real facts
The way some act in rap is kind of wack
and it lacks creativity and intelligence
but they don't care cause the company is sellin' it
It's my philosophy, on the industry
Don't bother dissin me, or even wish that we'd
soften, dilute, or commercialize all our lyrics
Cause it's about time one of y'all hear it

KRS One (My Philospohy)


Have you ever lived for those moments when you opened your mouth and you had an entire room hanging on every word? Have you ever said something before a group of people and you saw eyes lighting up? Have you ever wanted to speak your mind and change the perceptions that people may have had about you? My answer to all of these questions is YES! When I was in college, I really felt these things. I enjoyed doing presentations and reports in front of my classmates. Everybody in my class...including my professors...knew that I played football. But when you heard me speak, you knew that I wasn't some dumb jock. Actually, they didn't I was a jock at all. I'd hear the whispers after I wooo'd the crowd...

"He's smart. He's articulate. He doesn't sound like a football player."

I was one of the few football players who didnt major in education or criminal justice. Nothing wrong with those majors but the School of Business was no joke. That was my home. Rezidl was in there, too.

Here's my point...as an athlete I loved to have the opportunity to give people a chance to see me as something more than a athlete.

I thought about this topic after watching an episode of Outside the Lines on ESPN this past Sunday. The episode was about whether athletes should be vocal about the political and social injustices that plague this world. It examined the dilemma that the NBA is facing b/c as they try to globalize their game this summer with the Summer Olympics, their athletes are being asked to address some serious issues. The Summer Olympics are being held in China. China has played an active role in the genocide in Darfur. It has been reported that 400,000 non-Arabs in Darfur have been slaughtered.

LeBron James is looking to use the Olympics to increase his popularity in China. However, a year ago his former Cleveland Cavalier teammate, Ira Newble, gave James and the rest of the team a petition to sign to protest China and Darfur. LeBron declined to sign the petition. He told Newble that he didn't know enough about it to sign off on it. Keep in mind that LeBron James is one the faces of the NBA. China's record on human rights issues was, and remains, a sensitive topic, especially for James' employer, the NBA, which has had its eyes on China for more than 20 years. And then add the pressure of James' $90 million contract with Nike, which has its own designs on the vast Chinese market. James is so wildly popular there that he already has two China-only marketed shoes and his own museum in Shanghai, filled with artifacts from his life, including a copy of his birth certificate. And right now, China estimates it has 300 million basketball fans -- the same amount as the entire population in the United States.

Newble understood why LeBron James was hesitant about signing the petition.

"I told him the same thing I told everybody else, except I understand by you being LeBron you have a lot at stake," Newble said. "You can't just put your name on anything, so you need to go back for yourself, get as much information as you can, educate yourself and come to me if you want to sign. He came back and we talked a little bit about it, but at the end of the day he decided not to sign the letter and that's his decision. I respect that's what he chose to do at the time."

Newble's letter made news. But not as much as James not signing it. This took place just as the NBA Finals were beginning between the Cavs and the Spurs, and suddenly James was cast with those athletes who don't know and don't care. And he was ripped from coast to coast, by pundits, columnists and social observers. They all characterized James as a greedy, spoiled athlete who cared more about his business interests in China than about what was going on. James now states that he has more information and he can talk more about it.

"At the end of the day we're talking about human rights," he said. "And people should understand that human rights and people's lives are in jeopardy. We're not talking about contracts here. We're not talking about money. We're talking about people's lives being lost and that means a lot more to me than some money or a contract."

We live in a different time than our parents did. The athletes of the 60s and 70s were trying to gain their civil rights so they often spoke about the injustices that were going on in this country. Things are different today. Do you think it's fair to ask a 23yr old brutha about his stance on Darfur? What about the war in Iraq? Should athletes say more? Should they be doing more? I have some strong opinions on this. I'ma hold off and let my peeps speak first.

holla at meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Say Whut????

I had to pause for a second. Did he just say what I think he said??? Here I am...cooler than a spring day in Antarctica...custom made from head to toe...fly suit and tie...fresh Burberry cologne...headed to work. I came in contact with a young, white boy in a store. He couldn't have been any older than 25. We made eye contact. He says..."Whussup, bro???"

Pause...

*crickets*...

Excuse me? I am in my corporate gear...armed and ready to take on the world and that's how I'm greeted as I walk into a place of business? If I were in my jeans and Timbs, I probably would have let it slide. But not that day. Oh no! I'm suited up in my grown man gear. You will address me as "sir", especially when you consider the fact that YOU need MY business. Actually, he should do that regardless to what I was wearing out of respect for me. But I had to school the sukka. My response was..."Excuse me?" I looked around as if he was talking to someone else. He then changed his response..."Can I help you, sir?"

Ahhhh. That's betta. You will give me my respect! I command it and I'll give it to you. The moral of the story is that we can't let other people say "whateva they feel like saying" to us. I digress...

http://www.diversityinc.com/public/3372.cfm

"Fried chicken anyone?" "You speak really well." "Is that your real hair?"

In 2008, you'd think the taboo subjects and phrases would be clearly outlined and understood by all when it comes to what is and is not acceptable to say to a Black colleague. But that's far from the case. Here are 10 things you never want to say to a Black coworker or boss.

1) You're so articulate
You're so … articulate? Smart? Different? Yes, the speaker may intend a compliment, but what may be meant as praise instead comes across as being condescending. It implies the person being complimented is an exception to the rule and is exhibiting behavior atypical of others of his or her ethnic background.

"I haven't had it said to me, maybe I'm not articulate enough, but I've heard a number of Blacks say they've had it said to them … you're so articulate or you're so smart or intelligent," says Berlinda Fontenot-Jamerson, former director of diversity at Disney ABC Television Group. In her many years in the diversity industry, Fontenot-Jamerson has seen and heard it all. Some of it still makes her cringe.

"I feel like education and awareness is my mission, so I try to be kind when I check people to help them understand what they just said," she says. "I might make a joke to help them understand that it was a faux pas, and hopefully I have good enough relationships with them to have further conversations with them."

2) Is That Your Real Hair?
Danielle Robinson, director of diversity, talent and organizational design at Diageo, a wine, beer and spirits company, said she was amazed when she got this question from a colleague. But instead of getting angry, Robinson explained to her coworker why the question was inappropriate.

"There are a number of ways to respond. But I told the person they had no idea if they might be asking that question to someone suffering from a medical condition [such as] someone recovering from cancer treatment," she says. "I wound up giving this one woman a little lesson because you never know what the situation might be of the person you're asking a question."

3) "You" people
"I've heard this one several times," says Fontenot-Jamerson. Who exactly are "You people," and how do they differ from regular people? Use this poorly chosen phrase at your own risk.

4) Do you eat a lot of … (plug in the offending stereotype here)
Some stereotypes simply refuse to die. There's nothing wrong with natural curiosity about the ethnic eating habits of some of your coworkers. The problem lies in focusing on stereotypical Black fare such as fried chicken, watermelon, etc. It reveals the speaker has a very limited and narrow perception of Black culture and cuisine.

"One of my young relatives told me when they go out on interviews they may get queries about fried chicken and the stereotypes about the food that we like to eat," says Fontenot-Jamerson.

5) Why are you so angry?
This one is more often directed at Black males, thanks in large part to the media, which often portrays Black men as being angry and/or criminals.

6) Why are you acting white?
Consider this a relative of "You're so articulate." Why would exhibiting proper behavior, manners or dialect be categorized as acting white? If that's the case, what does it mean to act Black?

7) You don't sound Black over the phone.
What does Black sound like?

8) I don't think of you as Black.
DiversityInc Partner and Cofounder Luke Visconti received a letter from a reader who was presented with this particular compliment. He responded, "What you are experiencing is the first instance of a person accepting another person who is outside of their 'tribe.' Although the words and the sentiment are insulting, the person expressing them is (usually) not consciously trying to insult you. In their backward and ignorant way, they are actually trying to give you a compliment."

9) You graduated from where?
This particular offense came to our attention directly from one of our readers, Beatriz Mallory, who wrote, "In a career of nearly 30 years, I've heard them all. I am both African American and Hispanic, so I get it from both sides, on top of being a female. In trying to recall the worst, I'd have to nominate this one. It is the unguarded question "YOU went to CORNELL? WOW!" The implication is that in their mind, someone like me isn't automatically worthy of such an accomplishment. I never express my annoyance."

10) The N-word
The ultimate faux pas. Just because you've seen repeats of Dave Chapelle's show where the word is used liberally, that doesn't give you--or anyone--license to make conversational use of the word. To read more on the debate, read Double Standard: Can You Use the N-Word? in the Jan./Feb. 2008 issue of DiversityInc.

And don't fall into the trap of thinking substituting an "A" for the "er" makes the word acceptable. Fontenot-Jamerson believes it's a word used far too casually among youths, both white and Black.

"The new generation uses the N-word very loosely [and] the white kids do it too," she says. "I've been in the company where the youngsters have been using the word because they don't understand the history that comes with it."

Like Fontenot-Jamerson, Robinson looks at each misspoken phrase as an opportunity to teach and educate. "A lot of the questions are usually out of ignorance or genuine curiosity. So I always look at opportunities like these as a chance to educate," says Robinson. "Instead of getting angry, you don't want them to make this mistake with someone else. There are ways to ask a question more inquisitively that won't offend."

Has this ever happened to you? Your thoughts...

Keep It Real

I got this email from my boy Mike P yesterday...

Okay, check THIS scenario.

I'm walking out of WaMu (Washington Mutual Bank) up here and there is an older white lady standing in the doorway holding the door open yelling back into the store.

She yells, "I'm talking to that black n****r behind the counter. She's in the wrong...that black b*tch."

She said it loud as hell. Now I'm utterly confused at this point as to how to react.

I've handled my business before when I'M confronted with racism, but how deep do I get into it, when it is not directed exactly to me? I'm not even gonna front, I stopped in the doorway for a hot second, ice grilled her husband who was trying to get her out of the bank and then I just bounced. How would you handle that situation?

My initial advice to Mike P was to "put his PIMP hand down on both her and her punk azz husband." But if I would have hit her it would've been trouble for me. A black man slappin a lil white lady? In the South? Ohhhh hell no!!! I would've caught a case for attempted murder and they would've tied me to the bodies that Marlo left in those row houses (The Wire...inside joke...lol)

So what would YOU have done? Do you let it ride? Do you keep it real? Do you confront the punk azz hubby? If it had been a sista yelling the same thing...would you have even cared??? This isn't a diss on white folk. I'm about my people. Period.

Holla bakk.